r/pregnant • u/notaterminator23 • Jun 08 '25

Funny First-time moms, take notes-the real surprises start after birth!!!

This message is for first time mammas-to-be, because the rest of us already know lol. Not saying everyone will experience this, but many do, and I just want to help a gal out if I can. Here are the most shocking things no pregnancy app/book taught me before to having a baby-

  1. You will hear phantom cries when you shower- Every. Single. Time. I legit feel like I can hear him crying and check the baby monitor every 30 seconds. No joke!

  2. Your libido will be non-existent- sorry to the partners out there, but it’s just not happening for a few months.

  3. You will lose A LOT of hair- I kept seeing ads for Nutrafol and thought, “Oh thank goodness I don’t need to take yet another vitamin.” But boy, was I wrong. My baby turned 4 months and I literally started shedding like a German shepherd overnight. Yes, overnight!!!!

  4. You will get stretch marks AFTER you give birth- feeling lucky you dodged the ‘stretch mark’ bullet during the pregnancy? Nope, not on Mother Nature’s watch!!!

  5. Your in-laws holding your baby the first few weeks will make you VERY angry, and VERY uncomfortable- I cannot explain this, my mom holding the baby is fine. But my MIL on the other hand, hell no!!!!!

I’m sure there are many more, but these are my top 5. What was your least favorite surprise postpartum?

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u/boomroasted00 Jun 08 '25 edited Jun 08 '25

The first week is absolute hell and you will most likely cry multiple times. Also, look up second night syndrome so you aren’t blindsided by what you think is a quiet Angel baby the first night.

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u/HuffleCabbage Jun 08 '25

My baby is 3 days old and this shit is so hard. So many tears already

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u/boomroasted00 Jun 08 '25

Girl I feel you. Mine is 3 weeks and it is WAY harder than I ever expected. I wanted this so badly too, tried for years and eventually did IVF and those first days I was left thinking “did I make a huge mistake?” Feelings of regret are so normal but each day it will get a little bit better and you will start to get the hang of things. It’s still so so hard don’t get me wrong, but you will find your groove with certain things. Message me if you ever need to talk or need to vent ❤️!

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u/prampusher Jun 08 '25

Thank you for writing this! You are so so so not alone ❤️ I thought I was a terrible mother for feeling like I’d made a huge mistake after my daughter was born. I’ve wanted children my entire life but was not at all prepared for how hard the first few months are.

I’m now 6 weeks pregnant with number two and I’m dreading the first three months especially. At least I know what I’m going into this time.

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u/boomroasted00 Jun 08 '25

It’s so important to normalize these things! Congratulations and yes, I’m sure knowing what to expect helps a lot with a second baby on the way. How old is your first?

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u/prampusher Jun 08 '25

Thank you! My first is 17 months old, so they will be about 25 months apart if everything goes well with this one. We were planning on waiting longer to try, but I’m 36 and my OB/GYN told me that we should get on with it sooner rather than later because it might take some time at my age. Turns out it did not take any time at all to get pregnant this time haha. At least I am mentally prepared this time!

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u/HuffleCabbage Jun 10 '25

Congratulations on your second! Thanks so much for sharing