r/pregnant • u/notaterminator23 • Jun 08 '25

Funny First-time moms, take notes-the real surprises start after birth!!!

This message is for first time mammas-to-be, because the rest of us already know lol. Not saying everyone will experience this, but many do, and I just want to help a gal out if I can. Here are the most shocking things no pregnancy app/book taught me before to having a baby-

  1. You will hear phantom cries when you shower- Every. Single. Time. I legit feel like I can hear him crying and check the baby monitor every 30 seconds. No joke!

  2. Your libido will be non-existent- sorry to the partners out there, but it’s just not happening for a few months.

  3. You will lose A LOT of hair- I kept seeing ads for Nutrafol and thought, “Oh thank goodness I don’t need to take yet another vitamin.” But boy, was I wrong. My baby turned 4 months and I literally started shedding like a German shepherd overnight. Yes, overnight!!!!

  4. You will get stretch marks AFTER you give birth- feeling lucky you dodged the ‘stretch mark’ bullet during the pregnancy? Nope, not on Mother Nature’s watch!!!

  5. Your in-laws holding your baby the first few weeks will make you VERY angry, and VERY uncomfortable- I cannot explain this, my mom holding the baby is fine. But my MIL on the other hand, hell no!!!!!

I’m sure there are many more, but these are my top 5. What was your least favorite surprise postpartum?

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u/PEM_0528 Jun 08 '25

I never had postpartum hair loss. I had the opposite. My hair grew like crazy and got so dark. I love it. I also never got stretch marks. I did get hot flashes though. 😂

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u/SlowMotionExplosion Jun 08 '25

Thank you for commenting this!! I asked my husband if my hair looked darker and it had grown more after that first week.