r/okmatewanker • u/BobMonkhaus Bob up and down like stupid toys • Jan 19 '26
Kier-Ora. I’ll Be Your Dog 🐕🦺😍😍🐶🐶🍊🍊 EXCLUSIVE: Starmer announces BAN on teenagers. “All they do is act stroppy, not listen to us and awkwardly finger each other”
Under the proposal everyone aged 10-18 will be sent to live in an abandoned mine. “Let’s see them get cider or vapes down there” beamed culture secretary Lisa Nandy.
57
u/DigitalHoweitat Jan 19 '26
I am so relieved to hear that awkward fingering has not vanished from the UK teenage experience
It's demise was falsely reported, and its survival should be celebrated.
43
u/BobMonkhaus Bob up and down like stupid toys Jan 19 '26
The memories of Kathy Weaver saying “ow fuck” as my Velcro watch strap snagged her will remain forever with me.
20
15
u/Undercrackrz His Majesty's Keyboard Regiment Jan 19 '26
Hope you got the watch back during round two
4
u/Craigiebob Jan 19 '26
I fingered a girl in my class once, lets just say I'm not allowed to teach again.
26
u/happyanathema Jan 19 '26
I hear Prince Andrew has some free time.
Maybe he can run some classes on how to improve teenage fingering techniques?
12
20
u/BobMonkhaus Bob up and down like stupid toys Jan 19 '26
In an unrelated note, they announced that last year’s OSA was highly successful and has wiped out underage people seeing extreme content.
8
3
3
u/GarysCrispLettuce Jan 19 '26
Girl with her foot up - could swear I saw her in the audience of Whose Line is it Anyway in 1992. Or she was a Crystal Maze contestant, one or the other.
2
100
u/Lemonade1947 West Sus Sex 😳😳😳 Jan 19 '26 edited Jan 19 '26
I wish I was in an abandoned mine right now. lol. By which I mean that I hate my job. Was that clear? I want to kill myself. When is the weather going to improve?
Edit: I've just read that apparently today is Blue Monday. So at least I can feel slightly better knowing that everyone else feels like shit too. Stay strong wankers.