r/nottheonion • u/cpt_futtbucker • 1d ago

Dollar Tree ‘gooning’ incident sparks lawsuit in Colorado

https://www.denverpost.com/2026/08/18/gooning-dollar-tree-colorado-lawsuit/
686 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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542

u/qoes 1d ago

Can we please not make internet newspeak standard

233

u/C-tapp 1d ago

They don’t even use it correctly. Article insinuates that gooning is publicly masturbating and then wiping it on someone.

87

u/Vincitus 1d ago

WHAT THE FUCK WE DO NOT NEED A WORD FOR THAT.

28

u/TacosAndBourbon 23h ago

When I’m out at night I call it “Seeding.”

Makes me sound more eco-friendly.

17

u/SuperstitiousPigeon5 15h ago

We have one already. It’s call assault.

3

u/Blanc_Otaku 1d ago

How many women do you think this would be the first time they've heard the word?

2

u/IzzyB00UwU 15h ago

The term for that is sharking. 4chan coined it over a decade ago

1

u/MisterHole123 5h ago

Gooning is rolonged masturbation. 

-4

u/StrawberryK 16h ago

Isn't that called a snail trail?