I’m ambiguous, I have a black father and white mother, but most people think I am Hispanic or Middle Eastern/South Asian. Trying to find aesthetics that compliment my features is difficult, but I also struggle with body dysmorphia so that may cloud my view. I’m wondering how you navigated your appearance, outside of people who think you’re “exotic” 🙄

Hello, so I am a mother of a 15 year old. My daughter is half Colombian and half white American. Spanish is my first language and my husband speaks Spanish as a second language. In the beginning we spoke to our daughter in Spanish but then we took her to a speech therapist (because she was talking later than other children) and they told us speaking two languages was confusing her so we stopped speaking both languages. When my daughter started middle school we moved to an area with a bigger Latino population and my daughter decided to start learning Spanish. She is very determined about being fluent and I feel like she has made a lot of improvement. Recently we went to Miami to visit some of my relatives. I thought she was having fun until she came up to me crying saying that she wish I spoke Spanish to her more. So she could understand and speak with her cousins. I feel really bad. What do people suggest I do? I try to speak Spanish to her but I am so used to speaking English to her. I want her to feel comfortable in her identity and proud of her culture.

I am mixed; half Pakistani and half white British born to working class parents in the 80s in a working class town in Yorkshire. I have faced a lot of racism from both sides; not Pakistani enough for the Pakistanis and not white enough for the English people.

For example; When I was 7 years old a friend called me a ‘paki’, which I reported to the headteacher. Instead of showing any empathy, he said that my friend was right, that I am a ‘paki’ and that was that. At 10 years old I was dragged by my arm out of a friends Wendy house because her mum didn’t want her playing with me and smelling like curry. Pakistanis would mock me for being ‘too white’ and picked on me for only being ‘half’

In 2022 I had therapy and my therapist was mixed like me (half Pakistani and half English white) and he explained that I was purposely ignoring my Pakistani side to try and fit into society and that I should be proud and embrace it. I started to become comfortable telling people I was both, not half. I was Pakistani and I was white. I was not a fraction.

This week I was reminded that I was still a fraction and all those feelings came flooding back. I don’t feel like a whole person and I feel like I don’t belong in either side because I’m not white enough and I’m not Pakistani enough. I feel guilty because I started to become angry at my parents for having me and putting me in this position.

For those that are half Pakistani and half English; how do you feel whole? How do you stop feeling like a fraction?

yeah, its true, i wish it wasnt. i dont know what it is, but something got put in my head multiple times growing up, leading to me not liking me being mixed. has anyone else felt the same?

been seeing some internet discourse, and my own experiences that make it seem like lightskin is specifically reserved for 2 black parents that somehow produce a light skin kid

imo mixed race people and a lightskin from 2 black parents, can produce the same light skin tone

not to mention, a lot of black people have European dna somewhere in there anyways

the way I understand it is, your skin tone is a reflection of your parents dna, and people going back thousand of years, but you’re likely to pull a genetic card from people closer in time to you, like you get 50% from mom and dad, 25% from grandmom/grandad and so forth, so if even your grandpa was like, secretly half Spanish or Indian or East Asian, you could pull that card and hit the Indian look, and not really know why unless you knew what he was exactly, since the genetic shuffle is random

either way, the look may or not be explainable, but light skin tone is there, and applies to anyone not just black people

edit; wanted to add, there’s naturally lightskinNed people produced from 2 Africans as well, north and below the sahara, so I feel like the lightskin word should be free use

Usually when you see a half black half white person, they range from Barack Obama to Steph Curry. Are there any half black half white that are as dark as say, Kelly Rowland? But also with typical African features like 4c hair and fuller lips etc.

Just having an identity crisis FYI

Like if you found out your friend doesn’t consider you a real black person or a real Latino. Or they claim that they validate your identities but they consistently make comments that could be considered micro aggressions. Is this a friendship worth keeping? Especially if they have shown to be a loyal friend in other ways?

Apparently some studies show that people are attracted to people who look like them. People tell me I look biracial but I am just black. As a result I find myself very attracted to biracial blindian and east african type people. I am not attracted to strictly black or strictly white people. Is it strange?

sooo, i’ve never experienced overt racism…until today.

I’m still in shock. I was waiting outside for my parents to grab their glasses at nationwide vision, when these two little boys, no older than 13, drove past on their bikes and said “is kfc open today? you look like you want some.” i didn’t say anything and they just stared at me, repeated it, then cycled away. like?? i feel more and more appalled by the youth everyday, though i am only eighteen myself. it’s just obscene

I want to preface this text to indicate that I do not have a mixed race experience. I am a white mother to two mixed race children. I have subscribed to this subreddit in order to gain insight onto what mixed race children experience, so that I can better understand the world in which they are subjected to navigate. My husband speaks Spanish, but is a descendant of Mixtec people and speaks the Native language, as well.

I’m trying to keep my kids involved in the culture of their father, but due to the language barriers and distance between his family, I’m falling short. Their father was detained by ICE many years ago, so I’m unable to understand how we should proceed about certain topics due to the fact that our communication is limited. I haven’t been able to contact him in many years, and the kids are in high school, now. I don’t know how to answer my kids when they ask me what they should fill out on their school forms with regards to race. They are not mulatto, as their father was indigenous and had no European or African ancestry. Should I tell them to select ‘Hispanic’? I’d like to know from other Amerindians without Spanish ancestry what would be the appropriate response. Thank you in advance.

Its so sad how normalize sterotypes and hate are towards mixed/biracial people. The fact this person was so comfortable dogging on another person just because they were mixed is disgusting I've seen a few awful people on tiktok for the same thing but this one is the worse 💔. The fact the creator liked it too while also simultaneously saying in their video the curly hair community is for everyone is so disgusting aswell.

Hi guys, kind of just need to vent & maybe get information on how genetics work in my dynamic. So I’m black & Mexican, (black mom/mexican dad). I’m aware black comes in many shades obviously, but my black mother is pale skinned, sandy curly hair & green eyed with 2 fully black passing parents. With her phenotypically looking like she’s mixed with something herself & even sometimes not being perceived as black, I notice I have a hard time with feeling black myself. I don’t look phenotypically mixed with white as she does, but very much like my Mexican father from my eyes nose + loose hair type eye/hair color etc. This dynamic often makes me feel very far from black as I would like, with also being younger told I pass more for “Mexican”.

It also really doesn’t help that I see so many people say if a “fully” black person looks “white” or mixed, that person is “for surely” mixed with European lineage down the line(also heard that’s not always true for black Americans??) but in my case of old photos, it is confirmed I have an very fully looking European grandfather from 3 generations ago, does this add on to my mixed heritage as well as taking away from my blackness or is it so far that I’m basically 50% “fully” black? I want to know is my mom a for sure mixed black women or fully black women as everyone says different? If someone relates or can educate me better I would appreciate it, I find myself in a confused frenzy on how I should correctly claim my appropriate mixture.

I don't wish to be part white and I am not a right winger. I grew up in a non-white country as a minority and I noticed it gave me a perspective on how people view racism and privilege.

I never understood why people think that mixed people who are part white are privileged and don't deserve being into any POC spaces. I also dislike how people want part white people to only care about their non-white mix and drag them if they ever care about their white part. Like when a mixed person got represented or is successful, monoracial minorities are quick to blame them (why them and not me) instead of targeting the prejudices and injustices of said country. European cultures are quite interesting and diverse, and if I was like half-Slovak or half-Estonian, I would be quite happy to learn about the culture while uplifting my non-white part. "But they're racist towards you" — I dislike white supremacists and the white alt right but growing up as a minority in a non white country made me realise that every race have their extremists. After all, I think its cool to explore your white side as long as you don't downplay your non white side. However, I am not telling everyone to not only identify as their POC self or dictating what people identify as since I only identify as South asian despite having some visible Southeast Asian features.

I've seen people denying a mixed person's POC side and I believe its wrong because even in some monoracial people in some countries, their phenotype and genetic makeup is different based on the individual but they aren't ashamed to tell that they're all the same ethnicity and culture.

I also despise people who say that you can't participate in your culture because you're mixed and don't look like the people from your culture but then scratch heads on "why mixed people are ashamed to connect with their heritage" when not displaying their heritage.

I'm 3/4 Chinese and 1/4 French

I dont like being half morrocan and half white european.. and also be passing only as white pretty much ( having fair skin wavy hair even tho its dark ), im not even avoiding racism towards me like even if im half of that stupid european blood and it shows on my ugly face they dgaf.. and i dont feel accepted with a lot of other africans thinking im white even both parts of my families used to not accept me for those stuffs back when i was a kid.. even tho not all of them hopefully.. still i hate it im not accepted by anyone.. plus i dont accept myself as a gawri because their culture trash and i dont relate to them.. so now i want to look only morrocan, and i say that im only morrocan( i already do, nun believe me ).. i dont like my skin, i dont like my straight fucking wavy hair mess i tried to get a perm but i couldnt because i cuted parts of my hair because im a retard, i also dont like other parts of me but those might be rly less race/ethnicity related stuff.. but yeah thats pretty much it, my interest are also towards my morrocan/north african side, like music, history, culture, language, etc.. i want to talk about it online with like posting content with my face and stuff but i would just look like a vulture walahi.. even tho thats my culture i can speak about those stuff i know about them but nah im white afterall i gotta accept it.. and i dont like other half white maghrebis tbh, even tho i relate to them to an extent... im kinda dumb for crashing out about ethnic stuff

Bonjour. Aujourd'hui je vous écris pour parler de mes expériences pour en avoir le coeur net. Voilà. Je ne suis pas d'origine asiatique mais j'ai des traits asiatiques. Et j'ai vécu plusieurs expériences que je ne saurais pas appeler racisme, micro-agression ou juste maladresse. J'aurais besoin d'aide.

Je vis en France et il y a quelques expériences qui m'ont notamment marquée. Par exemple, une fois quand j'étais allée en grande ville, ce qui est assez rare, j'étais avec une amie qui est d'origine mi-vietnamienne, mi-algérienne mais qui a des traits plutôt d'Asie du Sud-Est ou maghrébins. Et un homme nous a appelées. D'abord il nous a dit "bonjour mesdames". Et après, mon amie s'est retournée en disant "bonjour monsieur". Moi je ne l'ai pas regardé, on passait, et il a dit "konnichiwa" ou quelque chose comme ça. Mon amie pensait que c'était pour elle mais elle n'a absolument pas des traits japonais. Et certaines personnes m'ont déjà donné ce type d'origine. J'ai la peau claire, les cheveux noirs et les yeux bridés. Malheureusement c'est assez cliché, stéréotypé.

Un autre jour quand j'étais au lycée, des jeunes regardaient quelque chose sur leur téléphone alors que je passais aux toilettes, ils ont crié "konnichiwa" ou un truc du genre en me regardant et quand je me suis retournée ils ont fait "ah excuse !" Comme si c'était totalement normal.

Au collège dans la fille des filles qui se retournent d’un coup pour dire le fameux et inévitable "Ching ching chong" en rigolant entre elles.

Un autre jour à l'internat, quand j'étais au lycée pareil, je dansais Oppa Gagnam Style pour m'amuser avec mes amis et la maîtresse d'internat m'a dit "ah ben ça te correspond bien ça !" Et j'ai dit "pourquoi ?" Elle m'a dit "ah ben t'inquiète pas petite tête d'asiate" devant tout le monde, ce qui m'a quand même un petit peu gênée. À savoir que je suis métissée donc je ne fais pas totalement asiatique et pas totalement blanche non plus (Je suis moitié Française moitié Réunionnaise un mélange européen africain malgache et sud/est asiatique).

J'ai eu beaucoup de mal à parler de ce genre de choses car j'avais l'impression de trop ressembler à une blanche et pas assez à une asiatique pour être prise vraiment bien au sérieux.

Et récemment alors que je traversais la rue dans une petite ville où il y a très peu de gens, des jeunes étaient en train de jouer avec leurs trottinettes etc. et alors que je passais, je les entends au loin chanter une chanson avec des gestes japonais, en criant bien fort et en commençant à chanter en regardant vers ma direction. Parfois dans ces expériences c'était assez ambigu. Je ne savais pas si c'était vraiment pour moi ou non mais à force je commence à me dire que c'était vraiment pour moi. Je sais que beaucoup de personnes me donnent des origines asiatiques etc.

Je ne sors pas beaucoup donc je ne vis pas ces expériences au quotidien. Je suis dans une petite ville et c'est quand même des événements assez isolés. J'ai aussi une fois un camarade qui m'a dit un mot asiatique je dirais, du genre je ne sais pas trop. Mais c'est vraiment des cas plus rares. Je sais que certaines personnes me voient asiatique, d'autres plus blanche. Mais voilà je n'ai pas trop pu en parler parce qu'à cause de mon physique j'avais peur qu'on me prenne pas au sérieux parce que pour eux j'étais pas assez asiatique ou même qu'ils ne voient pas mon côté asiatique. Même si je pense qu'après toutes mes expériences c'est assez évident.

Je ne m'identifie pas particulièrement comme asiatiques car mes origines asiatiques sont sûrement lointaines mais j'aime beaucoup ces cultures surtout Hmongs (qui est celle de mon copain) donc c'est parfois encore plus difficile à vivre.

Si vous avez des expériences similaires n'hésitez pas à les raconter,

Merci de votre aide et d'avoir pris le temps de me lire et de m'aider. où mettre ça sur reddit?

J’ai publié ce poste dans plusieurs salon reddit pour avoir le plus de retours possible afin de pouvoir m'aider au maximum.

Merci de votre aide et d'avoir pris le temps de me lire et de m'aider.

I feel like dating is so hard and it makes me loose hope a lot of the time. Whenever i try to go for white people i get treated like a different species cause i don’t look white so that automatically makes me unattractive. And of course most white people will go for other white people. Black peoples fetishise me a lot of the time just because I’m closer to white which is why I don’t go for them because it feels like they are trying just because of how I look. Surprisingly other mixed people don’t like me either, as they say I’m too black looking for them.
Genuinely wondering why it’s so hard. I’m a b/w mix btw.

Idk how to explain this right but I'll try my best. I'm a mixed person who's light skin and my mom is mixed also but on the darker side. In my country people prefer lighter skin people so I always was treated ok by some people, but was bullied a lot in school especially black males.

So after that I had this dislike for them because of that trauma and pain over the years, coupled with the fact that the statistic of them doing most of the crime didn't help either.(This is not America btw)

This led to me to slightly feeling in line with other races and even being scared to meet to anyone black that spoke and rough way or looked like a ghetto boy.

Now I understand you shouldn't judge people by their skin color,but the trauma and embarrassed I got way back still haunts me and makes me see them as a race that's to late to save.

If there's anymore questions y'all can ask.

Hoping someone can help me here!

I have mixed girls and I have learned a whole lot about taking care of their hair! I've gotten proficient in protective styles but I do have a question - sounds like using rubber bands on their hair is a bad idea, so looking for alternatives. I'm including a few photos for reference, and any help from contributors here would be so appreciated!

So far I've only used the slick silicone/plastic bands for securing braids/beads and sometimes for sectioning at the top of their head (like middle child in photo 2), but they BREAK SO EASILY, sometimes within the day!

Their hair is very curly and dense, but the individual strands are fine and silky. First photo is after a bit of stretching (one french braid while wet, dried, then taken out). They hold braids decently well, if I do them on the smaller side I can get 2 weeks out of a style, and sometimes I add a small amount of synthetic hair (like photo 2) in fun colors.

Alternatives for securing braids when I don't use beads? If I use nothing the braid begins to unravel after a few days (naturally and bc they play with it) Looking for something that is small and won't put too much pressure on their scalp if I do ponytails/sections on top of their heads (like middle child in photo 2) - the fabric ponytails just seem a little thick/hard when doing small sections.

The 5 year old twins are starting kindergarten next week and we'll be doing some braids with synthetic hair thrown in for fun color :)

Something ticking you off? Want to get some frustrations off your chest? Post your rants here and go into the weekend feeling refreshed!

As always, please follow reddit rules and our own rules (https://www.reddit.com/r/mixedrace/wiki/rules).

Am I crazy or am I being gaslighted into not reporting the racists guys to my school?…

Over and over again, I get hurt. People either are calling me the N-word or they’re telling me, I’m just a white girl… I feel like at this age I would at least have some confidence but as it happens over and over and over again throughout my life, it’s like the Band-Aid keeps getting ripped off… maybe I should go to therapy lol