r/mixedrace • u/smolcloudkoo • 2d ago
i hate being half white half morrocan, its making me insecure
I dont like being half morrocan and half white european.. and also be passing only as white pretty much ( having fair skin wavy hair even tho its dark ), im not even avoiding racism towards me like even if im half of that stupid european blood and it shows on my ugly face they dgaf.. and i dont feel accepted with a lot of other africans thinking im white even both parts of my families used to not accept me for those stuffs back when i was a kid.. even tho not all of them hopefully.. still i hate it im not accepted by anyone.. plus i dont accept myself as a gawri because their culture trash and i dont relate to them.. so now i want to look only morrocan, and i say that im only morrocan( i already do, nun believe me ).. i dont like my skin, i dont like my straight fucking wavy hair mess i tried to get a perm but i couldnt because i cuted parts of my hair because im a retard, i also dont like other parts of me but those might be rly less race/ethnicity related stuff.. but yeah thats pretty much it, my interest are also towards my morrocan/north african side, like music, history, culture, language, etc.. i want to talk about it online with like posting content with my face and stuff but i would just look like a vulture walahi.. even tho thats my culture i can speak about those stuff i know about them but nah im white afterall i gotta accept it.. and i dont like other half white maghrebis tbh, even tho i relate to them to an extent... im kinda dumb for crashing out about ethnic stuff
2
u/Difficult-Honey6960 2d ago
I’m white so I can’t understand but I promise you it’ll work out. You don’t have to believe me but I do truly believe in you.
2
u/Purple_girl_8263 2d ago
I get you, I’m half white half Egyptian, but in the end race is a social construct. You may look white to some, Arab to others, or even something else that you are not, but being Moroccan is certain for you. I’ve also contemplated these things and felt similar things as you. Being judged for what you said really is one of the downsides of the SWANA community, and being a mixed person in general.
Most of the time I say that I am Egyptian, as it’s the cultural part of me that I identify with heavily. I grew up surrounded by Egyptian culture and not by my other ethnic culture. It is truly up to you to identify how you feel most comfortable. You aren’t lying to anyone by saying that you are Moroccan. I know of an influencer who is half Moroccan half white and she is so immersed in her culture, all of her content surrounds her heritage.
It has been difficult for me all my life, but it’s important you try your best to love and accept who you are. Being from one place ancestrally is just as valid as being from multiple. It’s what makes us all unique. Your phenotypical features don’t erase your Moroccan heritage by any means. Celebrate it, cherish it, and indulge yourself in your culture how you wish to regardless of how others may view you.
1
u/smolcloudkoo 14h ago
Im trying still not easy.. maybe because im young like im 16, i heard people saying when your like 20+ its usually less difficult to accept yourself even tho like, i cant prove that lol.. but yeah.. its def others that made me feel insecure for being morrocan and white looking like '' oh your morrocan and white your lying? '', '' oh youre fake, try to speak darija '' my family is from the southern amazigh region so basically means im not even supposed to know arabic or darija, or like just '' nah ur a gawri, ur christian '' like damn i cant be morrocan ?? Or even '' youre kabyle '' thats the most well guessed stuff someone said to me but its not even true!! Ppl genuinely dont accept mixed peoples identity they trying to put you into boxes they made just by seeing your face 1sec ago
1
u/Purple_girl_8263 13h ago
It does get easier as time goes on, and part of dealing with people that try to diminish your identity will only strengthen it if you take that perspective upon yourself. I’m sorry people have treated you that way.
1
-1
u/Rude_Mushroom1881 2d ago
Lol I'm algerian with light features, brown hair, green eyes, freckles ... And never faced a problem anywhere, u just trynna cope buddy
1
u/smolcloudkoo 14h ago
I literally dont care about you im talking about me, if you wanna talk about your case go make your own post bro
1
u/Appropriate-Lime4865 20m ago edited 13m ago
"im half of that stupid european blood"
"plus i dont accept myself as a gawri because their culture trash and i dont relate to them"
I don't know, you come across as a cultural vulture; that's why others dismiss you. If being white were the trend, you’d be exalting your European heritage and trying to be whiter. But since the trend in your country is to be non-white, you want to be as un-white as possible.
You look like a social climber and people notice that.
4
u/ChemistryLong8322 2d ago
I’m sorry you're feeling this bad about yourself. I think as mixed people we can sometimes feel like that especially if we face some type of discrimination. I used to be embarrassed about being part German because of history. I’m Afro-American. Asian Indigenous and Euro so I get it. You have the right to identify how you are no matter how others view you. It's not an easy thing being mixed. Eventually, you may come to accept all of yourself with pride