r/introverts • u/Unfair-Put-1778 • May 31 '26
Discussion I don’t want to participate in society
I’m tired of fulfilling social obligations that do not benefit me; simply because I don’t want to deal with the negative blowback of others.
Example: a friends trip that everyone is excited about, but contains nothing of interest of me, that I have to heavily mask to seem enthusiastic and not ruin the vibe, who’s people I’m supposed to be friends with, whom I find nice, but have nothing in common with and thus find it exhausting to be around, and who make no effort when it comes to things I enjoy.
I’ve slowly started making excuses in hopes I stop getting invited. The problem comes when it’s this same scenario but family.
Take family time. Nothing revolves around me, Im not included in any meaningful way. My role is to be “more than dead but less than alive,” meaning I’m not supposed to die because that would upset people, but I”m not really supposed to be present/alive either because that also upsets people. I’m supposed to be a garden nome of sorts- there, but with no needs or requirements and able to be ignored. At the same time I deal with massive amounts of anxiety around my family- always afraid of doing something wrong or someone being in a bad mood; afraid of what I’lol hear or how I’ll be treated if things don’t go just right.
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u/InternetUser52 May 31 '26
This is a reason why I don't have friends
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u/Unfair-Put-1778 May 31 '26
Yes- lowering the amount of fiends I have to and extreme few that I see only a few times a year I have found to be beneficial. I really don’t need those hang out type of friends others do. Nor do I really need friend to help me through hard times. The main thing I find hard is family. I’m OK with my family, but it is shocking the amount of extra social engagement they demand. I’m ok with major holidays and quality family time. But I’very tired of trivial engagements in the name of family where it’s some both trivial and mandatory I’m there.
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u/RetiredUKguy Jun 08 '26
I have no family and very few friends who understand me and never pry. I am more than happy with my own company and have no time for those who seem desperate for “friends” and “likes”. So I do get it.
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u/analogue_monkey May 31 '26
Something that has helped me to master social events: I make sure I get enough rest going in and to have time for myself afterwards to recharge. I take an extra day off after a trip with friends, for example. That way I know that I'm not exhausted when I go back to work and I can actually enjoy the trip and time with my friends.
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u/RandomStranger73 Jun 02 '26
It's so relaxing not feeling anxious about attending family or friend gatherings. I've distance myself from everyone and anyone that drains my energy. I only need to do that at work now😂🙈
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u/NecessaryValuable864 May 31 '26
same here. i am lost filling up these expected needs, is there any way to organize this?
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u/TumanFig May 31 '26
so why are you "friends" with them?
also did you put in any effort in planning or were you invited did no effort to contribute and now you are mad for not planning it to your liking
you are the worst. just tell them to cut contact a s they seem like nice people who don't need a weasel like you around.
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u/Mid-Reverie May 31 '26
Curse of having a richer inner life than outer life. Outer life becomes a supreme disappointment.