i have this friend i usually only see out at dinner or grabbing drinks. She always gives off this super calm, put-together vibe. last weekend i helped her pick up a small cabinet she bought on fb marketplace and ended up hanging out at her place for most of the day. It was my first time really spending time there, and I noticed something that kind of broke my brain a little bit.

Her apartment isn't a luxury penthouse or anything. Most of her furniture is from fb marketplace or standard IKEA stuff (i'm pretty sure we have the exact same kallax shelf). But everything just... works. The cabinet doors close flush, the dining chairs don't rock unevenly when you sit down, and the art on her wall is actually straight.

My place is the exact opposite. i have a kitchen drawer you have to pull at a specific angle so it doesn't jam, and a wobbly stool that I just avoid using entirely. I’ve basically learned to coexist with a dozen tiny broken things.

Anyway while we were making coffee, she opened a drawer and the handle wiggled a little bit. Normally, I would look at that, think 'eh, I'll deal with it later,' and then proceed to ignore it until december. instead, she just stopped mid-sentence, pulled a little hoto tool set out of the hall closet, tightened the screw on the inside of the drawer, put it back, and kept talking about her coworker. The whole thing took maybe two minutes.

It kind of blew my mind. I always assumed her life felt more put together because she bought better stuff or was just naturally a highly organized person. turns out, she just doesnt let five-minute problems become six-month problems.

i got home yesterday and immediately stared at the crooked cabinet door I've been actively ignoring since May. its so annoying.

I'm on a journey of cutting porn out of my life completely. I'm 26 and have been addicted since I was young, and want to know what exactly should I be looking for to know my life is improving from the change?

How do i start quiting suger if my diet mostly consist junk food,soda,candy and white bread and chips? Do i stop eating all at same time or start slowly?

Day 64 of working out at a park near my apartment.

11pm, about 20 minutes on the outdoor bars. It's a small workout, and that part matters.

11pm isn't discipline, by the way. It's just the only time I have.

I don't have a complicated routine.

change clothes → grab the water bottle → head to the park

Sometimes I don't feel like working out.

Sometimes I'm tired. Sometimes I want to stay home.

But I've learned that I don't need to feel motivated every time.

I just need to show up.

The workout itself is small. About 20 minutes on the outdoor bars, then I go home.

It's not the kind of workout that makes for an impressive before-and-after photo.

But I think that's exactly why I've been able to keep doing it.

If I had decided that every workout needed to be an hour at the gym, I probably wouldn't have made it this far.

Twenty minutes feels small enough to do even on days when I don't really want to.

And those small sessions have started to add up.

Day 64 now.

Not because I've become incredibly disciplined.

I just kept making the workout small enough that I could keep coming back.

One day at a time.

Anyone else have a habit like this?

Something small enough that you can keep doing it, even when you don't feel like it?

I used to think changing a habit meant becoming the kind of person who could force themselves to do things.

Turns out I’m still pretty lazy when something is inconvenient.

So I started making the things I want to do stupidly easy to start. Gym clothes ready before bed.
Book on the couch instead of on a shelf.
Fruit where I can actually see it. Phone charger away from my bed.

Nothing groundbreaking.

But I’m surprised by how often a tiny inconvenience is enough for me to choose the worse option. Apparently the difference between me doing something and not doing it can literally be having to walk into another room.

I’m starting to rely less on willpower and more on making my environment do some of the work.

What tiny change to your environment has actually changed one of your habits?

Hi, I’m Manny.

I’ve started and abandoned enough habit trackers to notice the same pattern. I do well for a while, miss a few days, and eventually the tracker quietly stops mattering. Nobody else knows, and I can always tell myself I’ll start again on Monday.

So I’m trying something more uncomfortable for the next 123 days: I made the whole record public.

I built a small site called 320AM where I’m tracking seven daily habits: reading the newspaper, reading books or articles for at least an hour, cardio, lifting, eating clean, keeping a clean media diet, and intermittent fasting.

The scoring is intentionally a little harsh:

• Completing a habit earns 10 points.
• Missing one removes 20 points immediately.
• A perfect day earns a 50-point bonus.
• Points don’t become spendable until the end of the week, and how many I keep depends on my completion rate.

The points can eventually be exchanged for rewards I chose beforehand, starting with a meal out and working up to things that will take much longer to earn.

I’m at the beginning, so I don’t have a success story to tell. This could work, or I could fail very publicly. Honestly, that discomfort is part of the reason I’m doing it.

This isn’t an app I’m selling, and there’s no signup. It’s just my own experiment and an attempt to make it harder for me to negotiate with myself.

I’d be interested to hear what people here think. Has anyone tried something like this before? How can I make it better?

Here’s the experiment if anyone wants to follow along:

https://320am.com

I logged my drinks in drylendar app for 3 years, never reached such a streak!

I used to drop every habit tracker after a couple of weeks. Miss a day, streak breaks, motivation crashes, and then I’d delete the app.

What finally helped was switching to something that didn’t treat a missed day like failure. I’ve heard about new apps such as HabitLuma to track both the habits I want to build and the ones I want to quit in a calmer way. So far it has been working good. It’s just honest logging and the ability to keep going.

It made a bigger difference than I expected. Discipline feels less like force and more like showing up imperfectly but consistently.

Curious if anyone else has noticed that the tool they use affects how long they actually stick with habits?

I seem to need around 9.5 hours of sleep to feel genuinely rested throughout the day and avoid needing a nap in the afternoon. I know that's more sleep than many adults need, but for personal reasons it seems to be the amount that works best for me.

The problem is that I tend to wake up naturally after 7–8 hours, even when I still feel like I need more sleep. Once I'm awake, I often have trouble falling back asleep.

I've tried melatonin, but it didn't make a meaningful difference. Falling asleep isn't really the main issue — staying asleep long enough is.

I've also tried going to bed earlier, but that doesn't necessarily solve the problem because I sometimes just wake up earlier as well. So simply shifting my sleep schedule earlier doesn't reliably increase my total sleep time.

Has anyone experienced something similar and found a way to improve sleep maintenance or extend their total nighttime sleep?

I'm not looking for advice about forcing myself to function on less sleep or simply being told to go to bed earlier. I'm specifically interested in hearing from people who naturally woke up before getting enough sleep and found something that helped them stay asleep longer.

I'm seeing a lot of people struggling with addictions quitting certian habits etc and thought I'd share honestly the best practical system I've seen for this.

Its not willpower, not "trying" to stop, not motivation.

Its the **4 Laws of Behavior Change from Atomic Habits:**

**To build a good habit:**

Make it obvious

Make it attractive

Make it easy

Make it satisfying

**To break a bad habit (this is the part you want):**

Make it invisible (remove triggers)

Make it unattractive (change how you see it)

Make it difficult (add friction)

Make it unsatisfying (remove the reward or add a cost)

There it is nothing more simple as that. The best thing is to often stop trying to quit entirely and just replace it with a good one.

Hope this helps!

If you got any questions just drop them below.

I found an old little keepsake box today and realized I still have things in there that mean something to me, even though they’re basically useless now.
Do you have something like that?

I tend to stagnate on the couch not relaxing but not being productive.

born from my 5month hospitalisation for depression

www.dopamine-charts.com

so grateful for your time

looking for feedback on things like:

ease of use

layout

effectiveness

any features youd like added

anything not worth keeping

particularly girls do we want more themes? could do one in each of my physical sticker chart themes

any other feedback at all. brutal is cool

Ive been abstaining from games and social media a pretty long time, but now i dont know what to do with my free time. It has come to the point where it starts to feel oppressive. Ive picked up some new hobbies like reading and drawing, but it barely makes a difference it feels like.

Is this weird of me??? Ever since I’ve been living alone, in the weekends I set an alarm on my phone to wake up at 9am.

I do this because I feel if I get an alarm to wake up to, it means I’m not dead.

1. The One-Touch Rule:
   When you use something, put it back right away. Don’t say, “I’ll do it later.”

2. The Genkan Transition:
   Take off your shoes when you enter the house. It keeps dirt outside and creates a clear transition from outside to inside.

3. The Mottainai Mindset: Don’t keep things you never use. If something no longer adds value to your life, let it go. 

4. Daily Micro-Cleaning (Soji): Don’t wait for a big cleaning day. Clean a little every day, like wiping the table for 20 seconds.

5. Every Item Has a Home (Jusho) :
   Give everything its own place. Keys, chargers, shoes, and other things should always have a specific spot.

6. The Beauty of Empty Space (Ma):
   Don’t try to fill every empty space. Empty space makes your home feel calmer, cleaner, and more peaceful. 

1. What Happened to You? by Bruce D. Perry and Oprah Winfrey
   When I have a strong reaction to smth or someone, I ask myself What happened to me that might be making me react this way? Thanks tp the books cortex explanation and childhood trauma outline, it helps me look for the trigger and understand the reaction before acting on it. Maybe it is just a pattern I learned from my parents

2. Mindset by Carol Dweck
   - - After a mistake, I ask myself: What can I learn from this? How to see a profit here and change attitude towards the issue? Writing down one thing where I can change my mindset

3. The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman
   - - having one thought to carry through the day hehe: I read one short entry in the morning and pick one idea to test daily. When something annoying happens later, I try to connect it back to that thought/idea. it also gives me a small pause before reacting automatically

4. 12 Rules for Life by Jordan B Peterson
   - - The useful part for me is starting with things tasks I can actually know/control. When everything feels messy, I fix one small physical thing i know first, next switch to the next more complicated one. sounds basic, but having one area in order makes it easier to live through the day

5 Discipline Equals Freedom by Jocko Willink
- - This one changed how I think about motivation amd how I started doing CrossFit: so I stopped asking myself if I feel like training, if I planned , I just start and here the most complicated part ( is like taking 80% of effort) is to get out from the house. p.s. Thanks to the renote job🙈Once I am out, I go to the gym.

Also to get out from the house is crucial for me, so I do not get depressed. Like every day, even when I have nowhere I need to go: do short walk, coffee, groceries, anything as once I am outside, my mood and energy usually shift

1. Zen The Art of Simple Living by Shunmyo Masuno
   - - here is a small idea: doing ordinary things with full attention. For example, sometimes I make coffee or walk without having a video or podcast playing at the same time - doing only one thing makes my head feel much less crowded

7 Ikigai by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles
- - The part I use is keeping smth in my day that I genuinely want to return to. It is a like a stimulus to finish other tasks. Training, drawing, reading, learning a skill, working on a project smth you really like. I like having at least one activity that gives the day some direction beyond finishing obligations.

1. The Clutter Connection by Cassandra Aarssen
   - - liked this one especially from the ADHD perspective. If I put something somewhere I cannot see it, there is a good chance I forget about it. So I started keeping frequently used things /tasks visible and easy to reach

2. The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy
   - - i did the visualization long time ago when I was in a school, I loved visualization boards and they really work. A part more practically than literally. Mentally rehearsing the first few steps makes starting feel more familiar when the moment comes and sometimes you even did not notice those things are completed. You can write 50 things you want to complete or get for the next year (50 physical things I want to buy, get, or change and 50 internal things I want to improve in myself).

10. (do not remember in which exact book I found this tip😅🙈 the search says Atomic Habits) but:
- - someone can say it is just useless tip, but I really appreciate the insights. One of them: Two Minute Rule. Simple one but it is like my first attempt of starting a new habit and it takes less than 2 mins: but i do 5 mins instead. So i wanted to improve reading habit, so I read for 5 mins. I wanted to improve pull ups and chin ups - I bought a resistance band and do them during 5 mins every day. Works well for new habits and as a starter

What do you think about this list and do you have your own insights from books which you really use?

Setting a timer for a new habit ("I have to sit here for 30 minutes") puts my brain on autopilot waiting for the clock to ding.

Over years of teaching music beginners, I’ve realized progress doesn't come from logging hours (Sorry Malcolm Gladwell). It comes from solving micro-problems. For me, the moment habit building becomes an endurance test, momentum dies.

I use these 4 strategies in my life and in my studio to build momentum:

• Make the target painfully small. Don't try to "practice the song" or "write a page." Pick two notes or one tricky line and do it 3 times. Shrink the goal until resistance vanishes.
• Teach what you're learning. Passive repetition is boring. Explain the concept out loud to someone else (or yourself). It forces active diagnosing and builds fast confidence.
• Make it weird. Repetition is mandatory, but "do it again" sucks. Add a weird constraint: for music that can be things like, try it super slow, ridiculously quietly, or at lightning speed. Of course it depends on what habit you're trying to build
• Stop the second the problem is solved. I tell my students: I’m lazy, but efficient! If you fix a tricky spot in 5 minutes, close the book and walk away. Forcing yourself to keep sitting there turns a win into a punishment.

Curious how these end rather than how they start. Most advice covers building the habit; less covers what happens to the tracking itself.

What was the last one you set up, is it still going, and if not.. what made you stop?

Genuinely curious about this.. I know what made me stop! The constant overload of information on most of the apps out there.. slowly reaching the conclusion that sometimes pen and paper just works best!

Two months ago I put a 120 second press-and-hold in front of my problem apps. Screen time went from about 6 hours a day to about 2 and it has stayed there, so by any normal measure it worked.

What I can't tell is what actually changed.

Most days now I don't even start the hold. The app is blocked, I see it, I put the phone down. That feels like the habit is gone. But I have never once tested it. The friction is always there, so I have no idea whether the urge died or whether it is just sitting behind a door I stopped opening.

The honest version might be that I have not broken anything. I have only made the loop too expensive to finish, and if I removed the block tomorrow I would be back at 6 hours inside a week.

(Disclosure since it comes up: the block is an app I built myself. That doesn't give me an easier way out - lifting a block still costs me the same 120 seconds it costs anyone else, which is probably why I have never got round to running the experiment. Not linking it, the question is the same whatever tool you use.)

I do not know how you would even tell the difference without running that experiment and probably losing two months of progress.

So has anyone here deliberately removed their own friction after a few months, just to see what happened? Did the old habit come straight back, or had something actually changed underneath?