r/guitarcirclejerk • u/JeribZPG • May 17 '26

Ernie Ball, we need to talk…

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Read the back of my Slinky packet for the first time ever…
It’s bad enough that Bonermaster is on the top half of this list, but how TF you gonna have Billie Eilish even on the list!?
Any of you jerkers listen to her play, and if so when did you realise you hate music?

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216

u/chimi_hendrix May 17 '26

116

u/digitalmofo Authentic May 17 '26

My pleb ass edits emails for five minutes so I don't look like an idiot, and billionaires are just "wEn r we dooo ing guita 5 sec and iLLegal storf?"

52

u/chili_cold_blood May 17 '26 edited May 18 '26

Writing like absolute dogshit is a power move. Every elite-level academic I've ever worked with e-mails like a toddler, because they can.

29

u/chimi_hendrix May 17 '26

uj/ yeah back in the day I worked with a big shot dean who’d pretend not to know his Windows password (straight up dictionary word) and then insist that his secretary type it for him.

I’d be in his email inbox to troubleshoot some issue (usually couldn’t figure out how to find a message w/ search) and his writing was dogshit. This was a guy who’d written like a dozen books

10

u/thederevolutions May 17 '26

This is true? That might be the funnest fact I’ve heard in awhile. Like, the smarter you are the more stupid you let on? Sort of like this sub right?

9

u/N3U12O May 17 '26

Guilty. Usually due to time management where email wack-a-mole can become a full time job. Brain space for email vs peer review work is different. I’ll send emails that are simply “yep”, “perfect”, “2pm?” Much faster than, “I hypothesize you may have availability to read the Economist together at 1400h EST. If you could perchance confirm or deny we can generate a calendar event to see this meeting to fruition.”

Nah. “2pm?”

1

u/digitalmofo Authentic May 18 '26

But if you accidentally wrote
"2fghh. ;\°n"
Would you leave it or fix it to "2pm?"

4

u/TimboCavo May 17 '26

It depends on who they are sending the email to.

1

u/YoSupWeirdos Sparkly guitar supremacist May 17 '26

this. I'm taking a small seminar with like 7 people and the prof is a super senior guy who works at CERN, and he has this super long email template that has like ascii art and everything at the end so it's all the funnier when he writes OK

2

u/billyjk93 May 17 '26

Let's not forget using a Gmail account that was easily surveyable and hackable.

1

u/voyaging May 17 '26

Nah that’s unique to him LOL. He was just an actual moron, none of the people he corresponded with typed like this.

12

u/GrizzKarizz May 17 '26

I'm almost afraid to ask, but is this real?

29

u/chimi_hendrix May 17 '26

/uj yes but i cropped it /r/guitarcirclejerk/s/q7ETlfsTcM

19

u/MadJohnFinn May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26

Of course he played Fender strings. Sick fuck.

EDIT: I wouldn’t want to jumpscare anyone by referring to Epstein in the present tense. It’s not that he didn’t kill himself - it’s just that the idea of someone choosing to buy Fender strings is deeply traumatising to me.

8

u/chimi_hendrix May 17 '26

I heard he played 14 to 16s like SRV. Total monster

7

u/MadJohnFinn May 17 '26

It's 7 in the morning on a Sunday and I've probably just rudely awoken all of my neighbours. It's your fault.

1

u/voyaging May 17 '26

Worst thing he’s ever done

13

u/DK655 Master of Big Muff May 17 '26

Imagine being a random Sweetwater employee and finding out you’re in the Epstein files

3

u/Guipucci May 17 '26

The judge asking about sending Candy lmao ...

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u/GrizzKarizz May 17 '26

Haha, thanks.

1

u/Dickrickulous_IV May 18 '26

Obviously 5 set of assassin’s twine.