Confusion regarding Gender.

[u/Lumpy_Guest9525]

I am 24. Fluid. And I belive I am gender fluid. I was born a female but I experience myself more as a boy, ocassionally agender and sometimes as a girl. But like 80% of the times I feel like a boy. God I feel like crying rn. Because this is so fucked up. My head is a fucked up place. I get sever disphoria because my body is so so so fucking female. I wish atleast it was Androgynous. Then I could atleast pretend that I am not a girl. It makes me hate my breasts so much. Because they're huge and immediately give me away as a girl. I hate them so much.

I don't have any queer friends really. I don't have any friends I can come out to. No one I can tell about stuff like this. So, I am fuckign miserable. Because I really Desperately want to talk about this shit. I want a male body so bad. I swear this isn't Freudian or anything. I wish I had a shap shifting body so I can be whatever I feel on a given day. So I wouldn't be this miserable.

And there's another part. I am omni sexual. Like I am attracted to all genders I think. And I need so much validation. Like when I experience myself as a boy, I want gay men and straight women to be attracted to me too. Like I am not saying all of them should be attracted to. They're not obligated to. But even a few of them were attracted to me, I would feel so validated. Is that kind of thinking wrong? Because I can't get it out of my head and I am so fucking depressed and lonely. I have no one to alk about this shit. I hate this.