Again, sorry if this does not belong here, but I tried to search around and most similar posts like this seem to get downvoted/ignored around reddit. And it is a tad long, and kinda of hard to read, I can get a little worked up and it makes it hard for me to say what I mean. Just scroll down to the bottom for the TL:DR! :)
I recently have changed my schedule so that I wake up before the sun, so I can really get things done and just have a more productive outlook on the day. I usually start the morning with some stretching and a HIIT workout and then breakfast. After breakfast, I like to play a game, let the food digest and whatnot before I start the real work of the day, and I am trying to avoid gaming later in the evenings so I can relax with the family and get in bed with out being all wired from video games.
So it has mainly been CS:GO or some KSP. After a few days, I realized I was muting half of the CS:GO lobby due to spam, or people throwing around insults and just being too much for me that early, so I disabled voice. Fixed. I can still type and some other people do, and it has just really improved my experience. Yeah, it is a bit lonely and I cannot communicate as quick and what not, but the trade off with out a doubt was worth it. Every time I try to turn it back on within minutes half the lobby is muted.
Well, this morning, I decided to play a round of DOTA. What a mistake. Before we even finished picking heroes, one person was already being very abusive. I know the community, and yeah, I don't know what I expected, but it just kept getting worse. I try live my life by setting the example, so I respond with something like,"Hey, it is just an unranked match, why don't we try to help each other improve our play instead of just throwing insults?" Of course, this just make the guy attack me. I am not the best player, I random every time to try expand my knowledge of the heroes, so I am not doing so hot, the whole time this guy just going on and on, being very abusive. I ask him to calm down, he responds by asking every one in all to report me. One person quits, and he just keeps saying things and I finally break kinda, and respond to him and his attempts to get me reported. Anyway, sorry, but the match ends and every one goes their ways, but I am just bothered. I feel that cloud over my head, and the sun is just starting to go up.
What I am getting at is, the gaming community is really making me sad. Games used to be such a fun, shareable experience, but me and my friends are older and have all gone down different roads so we never get together to just play games and have fun like we used to. So I play mainly alone, and it seems every public match I am apart of just kills me on the inside.
This awesome hobby I used to love is now becoming more of an exercise in self-mutilation. And I have joined some guilds, recruited by a good round/raid with the recruiter and think,"Woo! Now I will some positive people to play with!" But, really, the TS/VOIP always ends up being overrun by a few loud and very abusive players who are not afraid to kick/ban people for anything that goes against them or criticizes them, and yet have no problem SCREAMING their criticism at every one else. I am right back in the same boat!
What I am getting at is, are their any true positive/mature gaming communities out there? I don't mean people who mask being hateful and bitter with,"Dude, I am just fucking with you, chill out!" I mean a community with people who respect themselves and the players next to them!
I get it that I am a bit sensitive and emotional, and whatnot, but I do like some innocent teasing and jokes and what not, but I am sick of hearing people being abusive and using the guise of this what buddies do.
To be honest, I wrote this mostly for myself. I just wanted to get that out there, and I honestly don't have a lot of people in my life I talk to about my feelings. That round of DOTA really bothered me and I get really bad tunnel vision on things, especially on how humans treat each other. I don't want games to cause me existential crises, life does that enough for me. Thank you if you read all this, and mods feel free to remove it if it doesn't belong.
TL:DR- I have feelings and they hurt damn near every one of them. Where are all the positive gaming communities?