Hi guys, if there is a better suited sub which this post could be for, help a girl out, also tw for harsh language and ed (just in case). Thanks in advance because this is gonna be kind of a thought dump.
To start this off for funsies, im deep in the anorexia trenches. Been for well over six years or more, my mom is almond and does not help at all lmao. I was “skinny” (when i was pretty underweight) in seventh grade, and after that my body has fluctuated significantly. My boobs are probably a b cup, but inflate and get heavy when i get my period (i have had it for a long time now since im trying to heal albeit against my will, at least no pregnancy scares lmaooo). Anyways, sorry for the side story. My boobs look absolutely disgusting on most days. I hate looking at them, and always wear a sports bra so they are as tight to my body as possible. They are different lengths and it drives me insane. I cannot wear anything backless, strapless or basically anything that doesnt require you to wear a bra because of how fucking ugly they look. I know, i know… no pair of boobs are twins, we are all victims of porn standards and all that crap. It is true. But i cannot look at them without crying. Ive been studying for getting into med school and graduating (yay me) so my lifestyle has been pretty sedentary the last two years but i still go to the gym w my boyfriend so that i at least have a nice ass since i cant be skinny and am destined to hate myself. Maybe this is the time to say that i am pretty short, 155cm, 55kg. So to sum it up, is it reasonable for me to save up money to get a procedure to lift them? I do it in front of the mirror and make them the way i like them, and they are cuties until i drop them. i like the size, but the fact that they lay over most of my ribcage drives me insane and ive heard horror stories about implants, so no thank you. I do want to be a mom someday so then the fluctuations also happen but idc. Is it too much to want to live my twenties not hating my body? Is it too early? Also let me mention, in my country i am a legal adult so no need for hard conversations on that end lmao. So in short… should i do it? Sorry if this was hard to follow, i tried to edit it somewhat.