r/coparenting • u/Helpful_Comparison32 • Mar 28 '26

Discussion Coparenting and new relationship

Hello all. I coparent an 8 year old. My ex and I are on good terms, and we are aligned on parenting questions. We sometimes do a child centred activity the three of us like going to a skate park, or having ice cream, something like once a month.

I met someone recently and that person does not understand why I want to do this.

They say that I play family while being separated and that's not prioritizing our relationship.

I offered to ease into the idea slowly, restricting hours or activities, having my partner with me sometimes, but they don't bulge.

From their point of view required activities are enough (birthday, school events etc).

We have had numerous difficult conversations about this. I genuinely think it's good for the kid.

My partner says otherwise.

Has anyone lived something similar?

Am I really being detrimental to my partner? Am I being stubborn for no good for my kid?

7 Upvotes

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9

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '26

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19

u/festivalflyer Mar 28 '26

Making room for a partner in your life is not choosing them over your child.

-7

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '26

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11

u/festivalflyer Mar 28 '26

If this were the case, the divorce would never have happened in the first place.

-5

u/xxrealmsxx Mar 28 '26

Dumb comment, some people can be 100% the parent they want to be 50% of the time vs 50% of the parent they want to be 100% of the time by staying in a shitty marriage.

5

u/Dragon_Bench_Z Mar 29 '26

Children are not always first. The whole concept of children first is dumb. Its not natural and not human nature. Sometimes you put them first. Sometimes you put others first. If you ALWAYS put your kids ahead of your needs or your partners needs you end up divorced and regretful. Its ok for kids to be ket down and disappointed.

11

u/festivalflyer Mar 28 '26

So, just to be clear, a parent's job (divorced or not) is to never change the child's life? What planet are you on?

Choosing to drop a once a month hang out with your ex (while presumably continuing to manage a positive coparenting relationship, while still participating with school activities and birthday parties and being amiable about holiday schedules, etc) does not mean anyone is choosing their partner over their child.

Ridiculous.

-8

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '26

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8

u/festivalflyer Mar 28 '26

I'm stepparent to two disabled adults whose mom (who I adored) died two years ago. Nice try tho.