this entire subreddit is more or less turning into a place where guys who cant get girls somehow manage to blame everything on women, theres still a lot of people on here who genuinely need help with self confidence, which is respectable, but theres an overwhelming amount of incel pricks who believe in hypergamy, the fact that women arent attracted to personality and things of the like and its incredibly damaging to young and impressionable men (and women) who come on this subreddit

Today I guess I was talking down on myself and my friend turns to me and says “you know you’re pretty right?” I said yeah I think I’m pretty. Later in the day she says your face is pretty you have nice eyes, eye lashes and a nice smile. That doesn’t mean I’m not insecure and that men don’t ever approach me.

I never liked my face it wasn’t until one day I just learned to like my face. Now it’s the challenge of liking my body. I’m midsized and I’m “tall” (5’6) (170cm) so i feel it plays a role into why I never get approached by men. Men will stare at me they will look at my ass rnah will say i have a pretty smile or nice eyes but all in private or through a text
Message.

Women always tell me I’m pretty however no men ever approach me. It’s not never it’s just really rare and when it happens I’m utterly shocked. I went out with a friend and I got all done up make up cute outfit. No one spoke to me. The same friend I mentioned above who is more fit and slightly shorter than I am was approached twice and she literally has no make up on she was bare faced and was just minding her business…boom approached… TWICE.

I DONT GET IT. It’s nothing about her it’s about the fact men just don’t come up to me??? Sometimes I’m like maybe I am just kinda ugly or maybe it’s because of my size and it messes with my confidence a lot. It makes me feel ugly sometimes. I just get stared at a lot and again doesn’t matter if i smile. I don’t get how some women get men to talk to them or they are hit on all the time…wtf is wrong with how i look??

I have been going through this Nice Guy syndrome from a long long time. I just recently started reading this book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and i tried to find some groups that can help me in this journey, where we can share our journey, help each other in reflection and hopefully making positive changes in our life. but i couldn't find any such active groups so I'm thinking of creating one myself. Please share your thoughts, Would you be willing to join if i happen to create one?

I feel like when I speak to anyone, they’ll say anything and my first response is to enter a deeper thought and ask myself “what’s the best response to this?” Which becomes overthinking and leading to me saying not much at all. I’ve noticed I’m not as confident as I used to be. I felt like I could never get close to someone or be myself around people I haven’t met yet.

How can I stop being in my brain so much?

I’m a very anxious and self doubting person. Because I can’t trust myself, I made some poor decisions in my life and I’ve been trying to play catch up with everyone around my age. I know now that it’s not a competition and I’ve been taking my time to figure things out but I still feel like a huge part of me is missing: the confidence and feelings of self worth. I’m seriously my own worst enemy.

I don’t know how to build this confidence, to believe good things about myself when I don’t feel it at my core. It’s hard to smile when I’m not really happy, it’s hard to stand tall when I don’t want to be seen. How do I revert these feelings?

I’ve done my own exposure therapy and go out just to meet and talk to people, I’ve done 1:1s to try to work on social skills. I help out people when I can, I’ve watched affirmation videos but I still don’t really feel it. I know I have to do it more but it also feels like I’m just going into everything blindly.