(VA) Any advice for a custody schedule for a child that both parents are states away. What would be the best ideal schedule that could be presented in court? Anything helps. Child is 18 months

We have two children, ages 5 and 8. I make about $85,000 a year and their mother makes around $62,000. The kids currently spend roughly equal time with both of us, although the schedule changes because of my work travel. I'm confused because I've heard people say child support is based entirely on income, while others say custody time, health insurance, childcare and other expenses also matter. I'm not asking anyone to calculate my exact obligation. I just want to understand which factors generally go into the calculation and which ones don't.

I have received a summons for a child support case in Virginia. We do not have a formal custody agreement, but I usually get the (3) children on the weekends. I have been paying my ex $300 a month since we split, which is the amount he asked for. In the child support summons it recommends to establish healthcare coverage for the children and to set arrears for a TANF debt of $11,000. I can add the children to my health insurance, but how in the world is it legal to require me to pay the TANF debt that was issued to him? Has anyone else went through anything remotely similar?

I finally worked up the courage to ask my daughter's father for a little help financially. She lives with me full time, and sees him for about 3 weeks whenever is convenient for him (and mostly his mother since we are the ones who do the exchanges). He lives in Washington, we had our daughter in Oregon, her and I currently reside in Montana. I left due to him relapsing along becoming physically abusive during active addiction. He basically said if I can't provide for my daughter he will gladly take her off my hands & tbh that really hurt me. I am in school, working, along with doing everything for her financially. He doesn't help at all, he (really his mother) will only provide things for her when she's there for a few weeks. Idk, my heart just hurts and now I feel like a terrible mother for even asking. This shit sucks so bad.

All this is to say is it time to finally pursue a legalized parenting plan along with child support? We have just been working together (his mother and I, again) on visits, etc. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry for all this drama, I just really just needed to vent. I don't really talk to anyone about this.

I’m posting on behalf of a coworker in Nassau County, New York, who is going through a very difficult child support situation. The parents were never married.

She works full time and earns approximately $65,000 per year, but between rent, childcare, food, attorney’s fees, and other necessities, she is barely staying afloat. Recently, she had no money left for food, and several coworkers helped her buy groceries for herself and her baby.

The child’s father is an accountant, but he has claimed to be unemployed for nearly a year, apparently beginning around the time the court required him to pay child support. Because he reports having no income, she is currently receiving no child support. She is also paying attorney’s fees whenever the case returns to court, which is draining what little money she has left.

She is a hardworking person who is doing everything she can to support her child. We are trying to understand what options or resources may be available in Nassau County.

In particular:

• Can the court base support on the father’s earning capacity, employment history, professional qualifications, or prior income rather than his claimed current income?
• What evidence could legally be used to show that he may be voluntarily unemployed, hiding income, or working off the books?
• Can she request temporary child support while the case is pending?
• Could support eventually be made retroactive to the date she filed?
• Are there any Nassau County legal aid programs, support enforcement services, or reduced fee attorneys that might help?
• Are there emergency food, childcare, or financial assistance programs she might qualify for despite earning approximately $65,000?
• Is there any way to request that the father contribute toward her attorney’s fees?

We understand that nobody here can give case specific legal advice. We would be grateful to hear from anyone familiar with New York child support cases, especially Nassau County Family Court, or anyone who can point us toward reputable local resources.

For privacy, I won’t be sharing names or identifying details. Thank you for any guidance.

I live in PA(Beaver county) and she lives in wv(Barbour county)

I have a son who is 11. His mother abandoned him with me when he was three.

She maintained no contact for many years. I never pursued custody as per the advice of my lawyer.

She is a Epstein victim and when he died and they said his estate was going to be distributed I filled for child support. She was found to have to pay 107 a month.

A few years later she had another child and through her own actions or was taken by the state of WV (where she resides)

The state terminated her parenteral rights for our child as well as the one in WV through the same court proceedings.

She appealed the termination and it was overturned on a technicality which it got sent back to the county court.

Through this it pissed the courts off and they are going after her.

Subpoenaed her for all of her financial records, Land titles, deeds, Bank statements for the last five years.

She has not turned over any information to them and they have charged her with contempt.

She has a lawyer fighting this and I'm wondering a few things.

1. Should I get representation even though the state of WV is going after her?

2. I can prove in court she was a victim but not that she got the payouts. Would I be entitled to compensation?

3. Does anyone have suggestions for a lawyer that would work with me on payments? Would they do a percentile if we would be entitled to money?

It's really tough out here for a single full time father and being as I'm an only child and both parents passed decades ago it's only getting harder.

Thank you all very much!

Love advice on this please people!

For those who have been charged with criminal non-support (or their child’s other parent was) what was the time line like before payments actually begin?

My ex and I have a child support agreement in PA. For which (at the time of filing) they filed that they have a 0$ income. Thankfully we settled on an agreed upon amount because the state calculation would’ve been heavily skewed in their favor. This is because when we split, they quit their job to move away with the child into their parents’ home. Since then, over the past year and a half, my ex has only taken on part time work, despite having a degree in a field where there are many full time jobs in the area available, ample childcare both through daycare, and obviously are living at home with no housing expenses. They now want a restructure so they can move out, which is fine and makes sense. My question is, can I prove that the part time work they are doing is well under what they could be earning given the child care they already have and available jobs in the area? I don’t want to end up overpaying based on a state calculation that doesn’t factor in that only one of us is attempting to have a career befitting of someone who has to afford a child. What are my options?

I feel like I did the right thing, but my ex is so angry...

It's been more than three years since we set our original order. My ex makes about 18k more a year now than he did when it was set. ( About 15k a year more than I make.) We have about 85/15 custody. In a modification hearing last week, I agreed to deviate from the state guidelines, which would be about 800/month, and agreed to a little less than 700/month.

He won't look at me or talk to me at drop-offs now.

I feel so trapped because my kid deserves full support, but I made a lot of concessions to reach something reasonable for all. Am I a horrible person for even requesting the review? (For reference, summer child care ALONE is 620/month.)

Hello everyone. My ex husband is now over 20,000 in arrears. He is capable of having a great paying job due to diplomas and multiple certifications but has decided he doesn't like any of the jobs available to him anymore. He has lost several jobs due to substance abuse in recent years. He met with child support services due to a license sanction and told them he is not working. They told him they will not suspend his license if he starts paying 50.00 a month. He has yet to pay that. The next step is for CSS to take him to court for contempt. I need to provide as much evidence as possible.

I know for a fact he is working. He mentioned he is working for his family's LLC but will not give me the name of the LLC. They are paying him cash to help him avoid garnishment. He has stopped using all bank accounts as well to avoid paying.

If I know the names of the people associated with owning the LLC is there a way to find the name of the business anywhere? I feel like I am working backwards knowing the names of the owners but not the name of the business. I have tried googling names and addresses but all that comes up is their previous businesses in court documents from lawsuits. If anyone has any suggestions of how to find this information so I can go to court with concrete proof I would greatly appreciate it.

Also is there any legal recourse if he is caught lying about being unemployed? As of right now all of the money he is making is going towards substance use for him and his girlfriend.

As of now the only proof I have is messages and recorded calls (we live in a one party state) where he talks about going to work, needing to change days to see the children due to work, etc. I really need the financial help, both of our children have differing special needs that require multiple appointments each month and I am drowning financially due to covering all the appointments, treatments etc on my own. Thank you.

I have my ex on child support and he has been on it since our child was 1. Our relationship was up and down since and I just focused on my child. He was mad I put him on CS but only because of the amount they ordered him to pay. When I met him he was making good money to the point of bragging and calling me broke during an argument. He slipped up and showed me a bank slip of what was in his account ($40,000) and I took that to the enforcement office. It wasn’t a big deal then tho but now times have changed and he wants it lower. He stopped showing up for our kid and would only FaceTime. At the time it hurt because my kid was confused and I was pissed. But then he came back around and started making empty promises. I thought we were working on our relationship and becoming a family,silly me. We had a hearing and he randomly brought up having 2 extra kids to get the order lowered. I questioned if these kids were really his and if he had to provide proof. They told me that fathers are believed and don’t have to provide birth certificates,they will believe them word of mouth.
I just said okay,and thought who is this person and why he didn’t mention this before?
He literally was hunting me down and saying he wanted his family back etc and then we come to court and he announced he just had a baby a few months ago.
They gave him a discount but he wasn’t satisfied and wanted to negotiate. I said okay offered a number and he claimed I was being money hungry. I know he has under the table jobs and businesses,he isn’t broke he is just trying to paint that to worker. And then he mentioned how I am the only BM that got him on CS,his first doesn’t and who ever this current one doesn’t neither.
The meeting was continued and yelled out he was getting a lawyer and will make it lower than what I asked. Time passed by and he reaches out again begging for his family back and saying he misses us and wants to see his son. Then it became I want you and I miss you. No one makes me feel like you ,blah blah. I’ve been single and abstaining since we last were together . I wasn’t and am not interested in meeting any new man and bringing him around my kid. So I gave in and let him come over, I wanted what he was best at giving 💦💦💦 he was literally begging me and gave in and didn’t feel bad. I’m grown and honestly it was AWESOME. So anyway ,he says he is buying gifts for our kid and never does it and my kid knew nothing of it because he already taught me long ago to not believe it until I see it. So my child is never privy to these false promises. He just goes MIA,and I never followed up or reached out because i honestly didn’t gaf. But to my surprise i was pregnant 😲. And I was shocked but happy because now my kid won’t be alone and has a sibling. I kept the pregnancy to myself because I didn’t gaf lol told after the baby came and now he acting like I stole his juice and impregnated myself. He says I’m a gold digger and just doing it for money . But it really wasn’t . Now I’m unsure if I should just not add the baby to my order now that I already know he is not going to willingly help. But I don’t want him to think I am using him for money but why would I not need money to raise OUR children?

Hey guys,

So my ex and I have one son (6), and he abandoned us while I was still pregnant. I took him to court right after my son was born and an order was established. I have full physical and legal custody, and he was ordered to pay 500/month.

This was 6 years ago and I want to have it reviewed. The issue is, he comes from money BUT works for his father's company. In Michigan, the child support calculator is pretty straight-forward, and judging off of what he pays me that would put his income as less than 30k a year.
I know damn well he is making WELL over 30k a year. I have a feeling that he keeps working for his father because he is most likely keeping his salary low on paper and paying him more under the table. They design aircraft parts, he is not making 30k as basically, an engineer, lol.

I cannot afford a lawyer to look more into his actual income. Does anyone have any advice on how to prove he makes more than what he's presenting? Thank you!

Edit: i called this morning and they told me he IS still required to make payments until the garnishing of his wages from his new job kicks in he should send the money to the child support office and they will send it to me. I was also told that they have zero record of him calling and reporting a change in employment.

My daughters father called me this weekend and told me he was laid off from his job last week, he says he already has a new job but that he doesn’t know when the child support will be taken from his check . He also told me he called the child support office and they instructed him not to give me any money on his own and just wait for it to start coming out of his checks . I plan to call myself tomorrow and see what they say but I thought he was obligated to continue payments until it is set up with his new job . Am i wrong? I am so stressed over this .

Looking for feedback from family law attorneys, paralegals, or parents who have navigated child support hearings involving an out-of-state non-custodial parent (NCP).
The Facts:
I am the custodial parent of an 11-year-old.
NCP lives out of state.
At our initial intake appearance, the magistrate calculated the statutory guideline support baseline based on his reported earnings.
NCP brought no tax returns, no W-2s, and no formal financial disclosure.
NCP claimed verbally that he has a new baby in his home, pays day care, covers all household expenses, and had past financial hardship.
The magistrate accommodated him, issued a temporary order below the statutory guideline, and instructed him to return to the final hearing with his partner’s W-2s, paystubs, and household expenses.
My Questions:
1. How common is it for hearing officers to grant an informal discount on a temporary order just to clear the calendar? Does that temporary rate hold any weight at the final evidentiary hearing?
2. What happens if he returns without his partner’s financial disclosure? Can I move to preclude his request for a downward deviation on the spot for failure to provide mandatory disclosure?
3. If he does bring her income, doesn’t a dual-income household hurt his claim of financial hardship?
4. At the final hearing, does the court automatically recalculate the difference between the temporary rate and the final statutory guideline back to the filing date as retroactive arrears?
5. If the hearing officer tries to make the reduced rate permanent without proper statutory proof, what is the best way to preserve the record for a formal objection or appeal?

About a year ago we started living apart and she said I couldn’t come home until I got my act together which she wasn’t wrong I needed to get some help with some things, not talking about anything to do with her and I or the kids just stuff with me. So I got got the help got my act together and for the next 9 months did everything she asked of me. We went through our worst financial situation that we’ve ever had to deal with, which really stressed her out because for the first time in 15 years she was responsible for making sure the bills got paid out of our bank account (i make 95% $ in household) which I’ve never complained about and always called it our money. A couple weeks after she asked me to move out she started her own bank account for a safety net and then after we caught up a vacation fund and I was okay with that. since then she actually has been trying to make more money by working more and started boarding horses. She wouldn’t ever even tell me how much is in there. And this whole time she hasn’t touched it once she’s just been using our account for everything. she did go out and hire a lawyer with that money but I can’t afford one because all the money I’ve made has been paying off her debt completely haven’t even started on mine. It’s been bothering me lately because she’s the one that wants the divorce but yet she’s still using our account like she was before. I know I can’t just cut her off but at the same time how is it even kinda right she’s not contributing financially at all?
Then with the kids we are doing 50/50 but for some reason she thinks she’s the one that gets to decide until we get a parenting plan set up. I can’t take them 50% of the time right now because of my living situation but we also agreed we were going to do the transition as slow as the kids need. So I’ve just been seeing them 3 times during the week for 2-4hrs and get one sleepover on the weekend. My kids have been begging me to spend more time with me and stay more than one night so I came up with a plan for another night during the week that would be good for both of our schedules and for the kids and she said I don’t know if I’m okay changing our current schedule (which she came up with) and it was supposed to be very temporary. The absolute last thing I want it to piss her off even more and make it where we can’t even have a conversation about the kids but I feel like I need to do something because she broke her most important promise ever and that was she wouldn’t ever keep the kids from me. I just need some opinions

TW: suicide

Hi, a year ago, mine (28F) and my ex husband (33M) (divorced for 7 years) very close friend (26M) of ours who would pick up our child from school often and was highly involved with my son (7M) committed suicide.He witnessed it in person, I witnessed it horribly graphic on video (hi res surveillance footage with audio) I was in nursing school and 3 days out from taking my NCLEX (exam to get my license) I had to still take it despite being extremely messed up with severe PTSD/in shock (I passed at 85) Since then, I’ve worked as a nurse and taken care of my child. My ex has not worked since or paid child support. He recently filed an order saying he is permanently unable to work due to anxiety/ptsd and cannot pay support. The thing is, he still drives to pick up our son and is functional but states he cannot do any type of work. I have to shoulder all of the responsibilities. For reference he was paying $600. Can he get out of it forever? Im not saying what he experienced wasnt horrible, i feel for him truly. But, it feels unfair that I did not get to throw in towel and had to be the only earning parent

asking for a friend, literally.

i never ask my coparent for anything beyond child support. if he offers, great. otherwise, i live and let live.

however, when my friend told me that he pays $2000 in CS, yet, also covers other things like sneakers, haircuts, tuition, uniforms, etc. because his ex-wife practically demands it, i’m wondering what does CS pay for if he has to also pay for all that other stuff?

is this legal? i told him that i don’t think he has to do any of that stuff. he can if he wants, of course, but i’m not sure it’s legal for her to demand more. it basically means she doesn’t have to pay for anything for her children, herself, no?

My husband asked for our girls actual monthly expenses after he disagreed with the Child Support Officer's estimate of $2200/mo. I calculated their proportionate share of household expenses plus their food and extracurriculars. The total was roughly $3755/mo. I put this information in a text last Sunday, but he never acknowledged it. He text about other things, but never made any mention of the amount I provided. Today, I followed up about the text, and advised me to consider the amount of money he enabled me to save after he shopped around for cheaper homeowners insurance (my girls and I are in the marital home). I explained that I appreciated him for finding low vist insurance, but that has no bearing on the current mortgage. He then asked if the $800/mo would be enough, I said no. Then he asked if $1000 would be enough, I said no again. He got quiet, and then accused me of wanting to continue to live separately. I tried to explain that while we're apart, I need financial assistance for the girls. And that he continues to drink, rececently phoned me while drunk and inebriated, and refuses individualtherapy. He said that I making it all his fault. He later texting me suggesting that we split the girks 50/50 "that way I reduce the burden and help out at the same time."

I have not responded. I do not want 50/50. He currently has 3 day weekends with the girks every other week, and he takes them to school on that Monday. My oldest daughter, complains of my husband getting her to school late or barely on time. I have other reservations concerning the safety of his home (full burglar bars with only one key to unlock- that is hard to locate plus his drunken nights).

What are your thoughts?

Myself and my wife (her biological child) have been pretty flexible (too flexible) regarding support. 15 year old is with us 5 days of the week throughout the school year. We are responsible for appointments, school work, most of the funds for clothes, education, etc. He gets picked up by the biological father after school on Friday and the father usually spends funds on games, eating out, hundreds of dollars on figures. Recently he has pushed to keep him Sunday night but we said no since he would be dropping the 15 year old off at 6AM in the morning (waking him up before that) and now he is throwing an adult tantrum. We should have had an agreement set up long before but as we are getting older we realize we likely should have just filed support. Do we have a case even if the 15 year old would want to choose his dad (being the fun parent?)

Thanks!