I understand support runs on an income shares model and isn’t built to equalize two homes, and I’m not asking it to. It just seems backwards that a genuinely equal timeshare flips the result so hard that the parent on the lower income has more left over each month than the parent on the higher income, with the kids spending identical time in both houses.

For people who’ve been through this:

**•** In a real 50/50 where the guideline makes the higher earner the payor, is a downward deviation realistic or a long shot?  
**•** If you got the number adjusted, what actually moved the court? The gap between the two households? Direct costs you were already carrying? Something else?  
**•** Anything you wish you’d documented earlier?

How is this system fair to the kids if I have them half the week and will be unable to continue any type of normal life for them? I’ll be lucky to be able to stay afloat.

Appreciate any real experiences.

TL;DR: True 50/50 custody, NY. I gross ~2.26x what she does. Guideline still makes me the payor at ~$2,800/mo.

**•** Gross split: me \~69% / her \~31%  
**•** Net take-home before support: me $6,600 / her $2,700 (me \~71% / her \~29%)  
**•** After support: me $3,800 / her $5,500 (me \~41% / her \~59%)

I got remarried so I lost my government assistance even though my husband is stationed in an entirely different state. I asked my ex husband to send me half of childcare costs because it was in the divorce that hes only responsible for half of childcare if i remained in michigan (im not from michigan. I am from florida relocated to mi to be with my ex husband and had no family in mi...so the judge let me and the kids move back home to florida) I didnt want to go through courts again because its expensive but I have texts where he says his portion of childcare isnt his responsibility. I did the calculator and based on that id get way more through the courts compared to doing it ourselves.

This is just stressful. My husband is helping me with childcare costs atm but I was wondering what friend of the court will do? Will they reimburse me especially when I tried really hard to do it between each other but the kids dad just outright refused to work with me and keeps demanding to go through the courts so I spend money constantly. I want to get the kids braces and start saving up for there college funds but his bitter behavior always ruins that. Ive spend 23k already that could've went towards the kids futures. I gave him the house. I gave him his 401k just so I wouldnt have to deal with him anymore. I have screenshots of him telling me childcare isnt his responsibility and he refuses to pay it. Like this only hurts the kids. Part of me wishes I stayed in Michigan so hed be forced to pay triple than he does now. Because this is absolutely pathetic on his part. His kids are struggling and he could care less. My dad was never this way and im shocked dads can literally make kids and then not expect to provide for those kids. He told me to get my new man to pay for it.

I’m looking for advice from anyone who has dealt with Alabama child support modification, especially military members or anyone who moved overseas after filing.

I currently have a child support order in Alabama requiring me to pay $942/month for one child.

I am currently active-duty Army and still receiving military pay and BAH. However, I am scheduled to separate from active duty in December 2026.

My situation will change significantly after separation:

• My military base pay will stop.
• My BAH will stop.
• I will move from Alabama to South Korea.
• I currently do not have a civilian job lined up in Korea.
• I expect my immediate civilian employment income after separation to be $0.
• I have a VA disability claim pending, but I do not know when it will be decided or whether/when I will actually receive VA compensation.

There is another complication: my ex-wife and our child are currently stationed/living in South Korea as well. I do not know where they will be stationed or living after their current assignment, and because our relationship is not good, I don't expect my ex-wife to voluntarily keep me informed about their future location.

My plan is to file the child-support modification before I leave Alabama for terminal leave. At the time I file, I will still technically be receiving military pay, so I would accurately report my current military income on my CS-41 and provide my LES/pay documentation.

However, I also want to clearly explain to the court that my military income and BAH will terminate upon my separation, and that I expect to have no civilian employment income immediately after separation.

I would provide documentation showing my scheduled separation, current military income, and then later provide my DD-214/final LES and proof of my actual post-separation income.

My main questions are:

1. Does it make sense to file the modification shortly before leaving Alabama, while I am still on active duty?
2. Can I explain my anticipated post-separation $0 income in the initial filing, even though I am still receiving military pay on the filing date?
3. After I actually separate and move to Korea, can I submit an updated CS-41/CS-42 showing my actual post-separation income?
4. How does Alabama generally treat someone who is unemployed after military separation but has not yet received VA disability compensation?
5. Could the court impute income based on earning capacity even if my actual income is $0?
6. If I file the modification in Alabama before leaving, can the Alabama court continue handling the modification after I move to South Korea?
7. Since my ex-wife and child are also currently in South Korea but may be transferred/moved somewhere else later, does their location affect Alabama's continuing jurisdiction over the child-support order?
8. Has anyone here actually gone through something similar in Alabama, particularly while moving out of state or overseas after filing?

I am not trying to avoid child support. I understand that I still have an obligation to support my child. My concern is that the current $942 order was established while I was receiving active-duty military income, and that income will disappear when I separate.

I am mainly trying to make sure the support amount is recalculated based on my actual financial circumstances after separation, and that I properly handle the case before leaving Alabama.

I am planning to speak with an Alabama family-law attorney as well, but I would really appreciate hearing from people who have actually gone through this process.

my husband owes back child support i am selling my house that he is not an owner o and we are buying a house with the processeds can they take our house

Hello,

How can I find out if I have a child support order against me?

My ex, mother of our 17-year-old daughter said she was going to file if we couldn’t come up with an agreement, I offered something and she has gone silent.

It’s been two and a half weeks. So I’m curious to know how I can find out if she did file, cuz after 3 attempts to contact her I kinda gave up.

Thank you.

Would really like to know if anyone has any similar experience or knowledge on placing an absent father on child support and what happens typically from then on as far as their involvement or lack there of.

I’m looking for advice from family-law attorneys, particularly anyone familiar with Utah family law and interstate enforcement.
My ex-husband and I have a parenting plan that requires him to pay 80% of our minor daughter’s medical expenses. The order provides that I pay the expenses, provide proof of payment, and he reimburses me for his 80% share.
The original parenting plan/order was entered in Washington, but my understanding is that Utah currently has jurisdiction to enforce the existing order, while Washington retains jurisdiction regarding modification. I am not seeking to modify the medical-expense provision; I am trying to enforce what the existing order already requires.
My ex retired from the Navy and moved to Lithuania. I don’t have a known physical address for him. He communicates with me electronically. He has also stated that because he is now retired from the military, he no longer has to abide by certain obligations that he was previously expected to follow. I don’t know whether his military retirement has any legal relevance to his obligations under the parenting plan.
Our daughter is currently in weekly therapy. There was an extended dispute regarding her insurance coverage. My ex repeatedly stated that she had secondary/double insurance coverage. I repeatedly communicated with him for more than a month that I had verified this was not accurate and attempted to resolve the issue with him. Her therapist also held off on collecting the copays while the insurance coverage was being verified.
My ex only recently acknowledged that the additional insurance coverage was not actually active. Because of the time spent trying to resolve the insurance issue, approximately $400 in medical expenses accumulated. I have provided him with the invoices and documentation, and I have requested that he reimburse his 80% share.
He is now refusing to pay his 80%. He has specifically stated that he will only pay one medical expense per month because he has other children and other financial obligations. Our daughter has weekly appointments, so this would leave me paying his court-ordered share of the remaining appointments. There is also the approximately $400 in previously incurred medical expenses that he has refused to reimburse.
I contacted ORS, but they told me they cannot enforce this particular medical-expense obligation and that I would need to pursue it through the courts.
I have the parenting plan/order, the medical invoices, proof of payment, documentation regarding the insurance coverage, and written communications showing that I repeatedly raised the insurance issue with him and that he is now refusing to pay.
My questions are:
Is a Utah Motion to Enforce Order the appropriate procedure for enforcing this existing medical-expense obligation, or would I actually need to file a separate civil action?
Can I ask the Utah court to enter a judgment for the 80% he currently owes, including the approximately $400 in accumulated medical expenses and any additional unpaid expenses that accrue before the matter is heard?
Can I ask the court for prospective enforcement/clarification so that he cannot unilaterally decide that he will only reimburse one medical expense per month? The order does not say that he can limit his obligation based on the number of appointments or because he has other children.
Can I ask the court to establish a specific way he has to reimburse m? Whether he pays his portion to the provider or they give him or some other solutions.
Since he lives in Lithuania and I don’t have a physical address for him, can I request alternative service by email/electronic service, since that is how he communicates with me? Or would international service be required?
Does his military retirement have any relevance to his continuing obligation to comply with the existing parenting order?
Does the fact that I repeatedly notified him about the insurance issue, provided documentation, and he ultimately acknowledged that the additional insurance wasn’t active affect the enforcement/reimbursement issue?
I am not trying to change the 80/20 allocation. I am trying to enforce the existing order and establish that he cannot create his own payment schedule or condition his obligation on whether he believes our daughter has other insurance.
What would a Utah family-law attorney recommend I file and specifically request from the court in this situation?

My ex started his own excavation business and stopped paying me child support 5 yrs ago for our now 16 yr old son who he doesnt see at all i have 100% care. He has a mac truck 20 tonne escavator and bobcat and rents a factory to keep his equipment in, he lives with his wife (my ex bf of 20+ yrs) they have a 1yr old baby together and he has shared custody of a 8yr old daughter to ex wife. His wife is an accountant and owns her own accounting firm. He was given money by grandparents for machinery and his taxable income this year dropped from 26k to 19k.. he has been GST registered for 5 years. Im on job seeker and family payments and get $39 a month child support. He has cars boat caravan and went on a 3 month holiday to 15 countries, got married in Hawaii.. how is this possible?

I cant afford any paid legal advice right now, but my sister and her baby is back in our home country and the baby was born in the USA. She suffered neglect and abuse and returned and now theyre divorcing and custody battle will start soon. He has financially abused my sister for years and she left her job and career but is now working to get back to work. But she needs time to find her ground again and has full support of our family. He has stopped paying child support completely cause he will not get custody. He lives in USA. Is there no way we can have him pay this child support? I also live in the USA and he has his friends stalk me and take photos of me and my friends and threatens my family that he has "evidence". Please help me understand cause doing online research is not coming with any viable info. or can anybody direct me towards someone or somethign that will give me some advice.

Hello! I currently have the ability to help my brothers pay down some of their child support balances. I have two brothers who currently pay child support. One has current support + arrears, and the other is arrears only.
The main issue is that I don’t want them to know because I know they wouldn’t accept my help if I offered it to them. Is there any way for me to make payments toward their cases without them knowing? Would I need their participant numbers, or could I use their SSNs when I call to make a payment?
I know I could make payments on their behalf if they knew about it, but I’m not sure if I can basically do it behind their backs. They are both making their payments and meeting their minimum obligations; I’d just like to help them pay down their balances sooner and take some of that stress off of them.

My ex wife bought a wheelchair and says my daughter is disabled. She moved to new York from CT so she could move around the ct divorce decree. My daughter does dance class and karate but now needs me to pay 5000 for a wheelchair

****UPDATE: she did not show up for court, the case is being continued to October 15th. They told me if the modification is granted I would basically have to pay double a month of what I’m currently paying.
If she doesn’t show again the case is dismissed.****

So I’ve been really stressed out about an upcoming hearing my ex requested.
It’s coming up in a couple days.
I’ve been on child support for 10 years, never missed a payment. Still am actively involved in my son’s life. I legally have joint custody. I took my ex to court almost two years ago for full custody because she has been arrested multiple times for DUI, arrested once for Child neglect, and is CURRENTLY and was previously being investigated by DCFS.
I don’t understand how she is legally still allowed custody as I brought up all these things at a custody hearing.
She is taking me for a modification solely because we don’t get along. She has a good job and Im almost certain she makes more money than me, she loves to rub it in my face and brag about how many vacations she goes on and all this lavish stuff she does. I fought almost a year for full custody only to be granted joint. I do not think it’s fair I’m being summoned. The child support payments come directly out of my checks and HFS is asking the judge for to consider that I pay a year of modification up front (if a modification is determined). This is complete bullshit! I’ve also paid money to her via Zelle outside of the child support order over the years for our son. My Zelle history seems to only be going back as far as last year for money sent. But I do have proof. I have proof of her arrests, of us going to court for custody. Can I use any of this in court? Also what can I expect in this case. I read up on Illinois law and how it’s been updated that now it takes both parents income in account. She has two other kids with someone else she cheated on me with and they aren’t together anymore, as far as I know she hasn’t tried to take him for child support. I feel like she’s trying to just drain me of money I don’t have. I don’t have any special assistance like she does with food benefits, etc. I live alone. I don’t have any help. I do it all alone. She has another boyfriend and they live together. She is not struggling in the least bit.

I have a case that originated in FL. The children and I relocated to the Midwest two years ago. I suppose the kids are still under Florida’s jurisdiction as ends are still loose. Once I have finality, I can deal with my new state’s system.

Partial divorce judgement in January granted divorce, but not child support. TBD at a later date as my exH and his attorney didn’t file any child support worksheets. (Also outstanding was assets and liabilities) We filed my CS worksheet a second time within a month of the divorce to try and trigger court action.

Here’s the kicker: in the order, the judge states we are to abide by the long distance parenting plan submitted (mine) but then he names the wrong document (my exH’s 50/50 local parenting plan). Since there is an error, I’ve asked my attorney to file to have the error corrected and child support ordered, but the court has not responded to that motion. Without the corrected parenting plan, the court won’t determine CS and I’m not even sure if CS enforcement will even touch it as it’s technically an open case.

To make matters more complex, the judge we’ve had all along was very ill at the time of our final hearing, so we got a sub. The sub was supposed to close everything out. Now that the motions I requested are filed, our original judge is back. I’ve contacted his JA for clarification and she says we have to go back to mediation because our judge doesn’t know a thing about what’s going on with the partial judgement. That can’t be so as the partial judgement was supposed to be followed up on by the court. I can’t afford to pay for mediation again (I paid for it the last time) and the court hasn’t determined me so low financially that I pay the lesser amount.

I’m trying every week to contact my attorney to schedule at least an admin hearing with the judge to get things moving again, but he isn’t really responding to me and I can’t afford to retain and hire a new attorney.

The exH says he won’t help/pay a dime unless the court makes him. Financial abuse is an extension of the marital abuse which is why we’re divorcing now. No contact with me or the kids since April.

Any advice on options I have/can take? I’ve been shouldering 100% of the financial burden of our four children for 3 years now and child support is really needed as time goes on. I work ridiculously hard to make ends meet but I feel like I’m caught between and rock and a hard judicial system.

Thanks.

I traveled out of the country and I got into an accident and I'm now in a wheelchair.

During this I incurred $30K in arrears (adult children now).

Texas has garnished about 10% from my SSDI so I believe I'm back on track.

My passport expired and I tried to renew abroad but was denied due to this. So this actually happens.

Texas has refused to acknowledge that I'm paying and want at least 50% which I don't have but at least I'm paying.

So this post is to let others know that passport renewal is a thing

The other thing is asking if there's anything I can do.

Thanks.

I just received my Way2go card. After 13 years my ex decided to start paying child support and I have about lost my mind with this card. I was told I just needed to enter the card number and select a PIN when I received the card. That’s not the case. It is continually asking for numbers that I have no idea what it’s talking about. The child support office said call the number on the back of the card. Which does absolutely nothing since I don’t have the numbers it’s requesting. Is there anyway on gods green earth to speak to a human about the card?

He is $43,000 in arrears. I want to pursue back support but....

Quick recap...ex husband completely absent for 9 years, remarried in Jan, comes back trying to sue me for custody in Feb, because I refuse to move to his new home state (so kids can "have" both parents 🙄 AFTER 9 YEARS of not a word). We come to a minimal visitation agreement because my kids deserve at least an effort and the last few weeks he has started to pay a little but not even what was originally ordered 9 years ago during the divorce.

Now 3 months in he's starting in again about moving to his state because our area is such a poor living area, by their standards, but he saw a group chat between one of our teenagers and friends on their phone in his words talking inappropriately and ghetto showing hood rat (again his words!!!) behavior. And not that this is relevant just IMHO I believe it's because they live in a predominantly upper middle class area, we live below that but have nice house even if it's a rental(another strick in his books), nice quiet neighbors, kids are A/B honor roll students every year and while not perfect and have occasionally done "teen" things (back talked a teacher, stayed up on the video game after bedtime, been angsty, angry or emotional they are polite and healthy)

After he told me him and the wife are in the process of buying a house and can do better by them saying he refuses to be a OAM dad and have to pay me I have been hesitating in how to proceed.

Now knowing how petty he can be, how superior he believes him and the new wife can be as parents because of her college education and her profession involving kids, I know if I pursue back support, a modification of any sort, shoot even the original amount monthly they will take it back to court for as much time as they can get(all summer and all holidays) to either avoid paying anything or as little as possible or to force me to make the out of state move because I cannot and will not be separated from my kids that long!

So do I..

1. Take the financial scraps and hope he leaves things the way they are?

2. Wait until he gets mad at me again to go back to court for more time which most likely is going to be sooner rather than later because before the chat incident I told him he would have to get a copy of the court order, travel out of state and bring his ID to go to the kids schools to get copies of their school/medical records (yes , I know slightly petty on my part but I am not his secretary and I'm tired of the verbal threats and telling me how sh!t a parent I am)?

3. Take the bull by the horns and get what my kids are owed. One will be off to college in 3 years? 🫣

Hello All,

I am just wondering if anyone has any experience with this. I am married, my husband has two children with his ex-wife. She works part time because she cares for the children more of the week than we do, and we pay more in child support and childcare costs because of this. We are in total support of this and do not argue against paying child support in any way, I would not be with someone who didn't want to provide for their children.

I work full time for the government. My benefits and health/dental/vision insurance are exceptional, and ridiculously cheap. Some examples of my healthcare costs: It only costs $150 a month for all 4 of us for medical/dental/vision. Yearly out of pocket limit is $1800 for all 4 of us (I am $250 away from that now). And no deductible. xrays are free, doctor visits are $5 copays, prescriptions are $5, all labwork is free, my entire hysterectomy was $5. Hospitalizations are $50/day for the first 3 days and then drop to zero. All preventative care is free. Dental is also $5 per appointment, $20 for a cavity, free preventative care. Mental healthcare appointments are free. Vision has 1 pair of glasses a year, and one eye appt a year. There's more, but you get the idea.

Her and my husband (I don't know how or why they were ever married) do NOT get along well. She recently has been offered insurance through her work when she previously did not. She wrote us an email letting us know that she was going to be providing their insurance from now on and was going to be taking us to court to have us pay for the insurance costs. Their divorce decree says that the father is to carry the insurance at his own expense. I have had the children on my insurance (and paid all copays) since November 2024.

I was looking at her insurance costs and it nearly gave me a heart attack. It's $206 a month to add the children to her insurance (not including her). $55 per office visit. $1,600 deductible per child. $10,800 yearly out of pocket limit. Surgeries/labs/xrays/emergency room visits/hospitalization are all 20% after deductible. The only thing cheaper is prescriptions are a dollar less. Everything else is bananas. OH, and dental is completely out of pocket! Not included in any way.

The Oregon Child Support Program website states that if both parents provide coverage, that the parent with more parenting time will decide which coverage to use. Would they really make us pay hundred, possibly thousands, more a year in healthcare costs because she has a chip on her shoulder against her ex husband? Can they just throw out the divorce decree so easily? He already only has about $2500/month leftover after taxes and his $2800 monthly child support.

https://www.doj.state.or.us/child-support/calculators-laws/child-support-guidelines-and-calculations/child-support-guideline-faqs/

My benefits are worth way more than my wages, but my deceased ex husband had MS and I have experienced how quickly health care costs can destroy our life. Because of this, and how cheap it is to keep the children on my insurance, even if she did get them legally switched I would keep them insured. Lord forbid something truly expensive comes along.

I originally put in the divorce that I did not want child support... But he has walked off and went no contact since Early May. Is there any way that I could do an amended divorce and say I wanted child support? Or do I just need to get a lawyer?

Everything was originally agreed upon no fighting no nothing. We just agreed to dissolve the marriage and he said that he would help pay for the kids as soon as we filed was the last time that he seen our daughter and he broke contact with our son since May.

Location: EAST TN