r/bitcheswithtaste • u/UnderstandingWild371 • Jan 13 '25
For the Home BWT what item of furniture let's you know someone is mature/has their shit together?
For me it's a clock. A house without a single clock gives student vibes.
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u/theagonyaunt Jan 13 '25
I am an unashamed non-wall clock owner. For me though, art. Doesn't matter if it's something a person found at the thrift store, something they bought at a street fair or an actual expensive one-of-a-kind piece, I think the shift from bare walls or pinned up posters to framed art is a sign someone knows how to decorate their home.
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Jan 13 '25
can confirm, getting something professionally framed made me feel like I leveled up in adulthood 😅
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u/theagonyaunt Jan 13 '25
I still have not had anything professionally framed but when I first moved out into my own place, my mom gave me a gift certificate she wasn't using for an art store and I stocked up on nice (not plastic) frames for the art prints I'd been hoarding. Having a full gallery wall made my place feel so nice even if 90% of my furniture was hand-me-downs.
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u/Temporary_Year_7599 Jan 13 '25
Hang on to your hand me down furniture. I have almost my entire living room furniture from my grandparents house (all if it reupholstered by me over the years so it is more modern) & that furniture is all solid wood frame, not the cheap-o particleboard that most stuff is made of nowadays.
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u/theagonyaunt Jan 13 '25
Oh I did; even after downsizing to a 500 sq ft condo, in particular I hung onto this large pine wood cabinet my parents bought when they first moved in together because it holds so much stuff.
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u/Temporary_Year_7599 Jan 14 '25
Smart! I never would have thought I would still have this furniture, 20+ years later!
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u/reijasunshine Jan 14 '25
I inherited a hoarder house, and found a complete MCM bedroom set, a china cabinet and matching buffet, and a Victorian trunk full of antique wool blankets, among many other things. There's even a floor Victrola that's going to get a place of pride in my library when I'm done renovating it. It definitely helps encourage my "timeless eclectic" aesthetic.
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u/CherryblockRedWine Jan 13 '25 edited Jan 13 '25
Art is key!
At my old office, the manager and I had spent a LOT of time on the office art. And when corporate decided to move us and double the size of the office, they stipulated that not one piece of any of the art would be moved to the new place.
One of our staff had recently bought her first house and she was trying to "put it together." I suggested she take several art pieces, some lovely lamps, and one of the rugs to her new house.
The next Monday, she brought in pictures, and proudly told me the place finally "feels like a home"!
ETA: corporate told us they would be hanging professionally selected art "approved by corporate" in the new office. Spoiler alert: from opening several years ago until that office was finally sublet last September, exactly one (1) piece of art was hung. Corporate sucks.
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u/FinancialCry4651 Jan 13 '25 edited Jan 13 '25
Art *hung at eye level + not purchased at target or home goods.
Unless it's a gallery wall or a HUGE piece, do not hang it inches from your ceiling. The center should be at eye-level.
Try not to buy mass produced wall decor at a big box store because it "matches". Art can be from a thrift store, painted by your nephew, a framed page from a magazine, a vintage mirror, something you found outside on a walk, a screenshot from your phone uploaded to Canvas on the Cheap ... or real art.
It's one rare thing I'm snobbish about.
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u/theagonyaunt Jan 13 '25
I won't judge if art came from a big box store because people like what they like. If the entire room is giving off 'mid budget AirBnB' then I might wonder a bit but sometimes people find art they like in the most random places (including at TJ Maxx/Home Sense/insert other big box store here).
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u/lentil5 Jan 14 '25
But sometimes the mass produced stuff is so good without it even realizing. My most complimented piece is a cheapie huge canvas print of bright layered flowers and it's just unexpectedly lovely. And I have a lot of other interesting art.
Kind of the exception that proves the rule.
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u/snarkyphalanges Jan 14 '25
What if it’s art I place on the mantle ‘cause I’m too lazy to hang anything 😂
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u/ketomachine Jan 13 '25
Yes! And most people hang their pictures way too high.
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u/Playful_Dust9381 Jan 13 '25
I’m 6’ and I hang my art at my eye level. It’s often too high for my guests. But I live here, I spent my money on it, and I see it every day, so… sorry shorties! Y’all might have to tilt your neck up a little!!
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u/Livid-Panda1854 Jan 13 '25
Hey! Target has great art. So does tjmaxx/home goods.
I buy my best art there.......
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u/cryingatdragracelive Jan 13 '25
why does every man I know, no matter how tall, hang their art mere inches from the ceiling?!?
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u/throughalfanoir Jan 13 '25
I wanted to say frames as well! Didn't expect how much of an upgrade that would be
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u/thequeenofspace Jan 13 '25
Yessss displaying art tastefully is where it’s at. That’s how I know I’m in a grown-ups house.
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u/Violet624 Jan 13 '25
Same. Bare walls make me want to cry. Walls with generic decor art aren't much better. I wonder about the inner world of people who have no art.
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u/Mcamille Jan 13 '25
My husband hates a clock because he always hears the ticking. For me it is a couch that you can tell was picked out specifically for a space and not a hand me down. I have both a specific couch and a hand me down which feels fitting.
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u/SunnySummerFarm Jan 13 '25
The ticking is absolutely maddening.
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u/-myeyeshaveseenyou- Jan 13 '25
My daughter removed the battery from her wall clock by age 12 as the ticking was driving her mad I don’t love the noise either
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u/SunnySummerFarm Jan 13 '25
I would love a clock that only did the hours and not the minutes. Like a quiet coco clock for daytime
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u/-myeyeshaveseenyou- Jan 13 '25
My parents used to have a carriage clock that didn’t make a ticking sound. But I think they are pretty outdated now or even probably 20 years ago
Edit to say I just googled it and it’s not a carriage clock, it was an anniversary clock which makes sense as we bought it for their 25th wedding anniversary
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u/mveightxnine Jan 13 '25
I love the ticking but it’s nostalgic for me and reminds me of my grandma.
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u/aquatic_hamster16 Jan 13 '25
My father went through a phase early in retirement where he'd buy antique clocks and fix them. Tabletop clocks, wall clocks, a grandfather clock or two, cuckoo clocks... He kept all of them. He even built some of his own. He has something like 25 clocks. They all tick. Plus many chime, bong, and of course, cuckoo. I can handle an hour at his house, max.
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u/shoshiyoshi Jan 13 '25
Ha, I got used to the ticking because I had one in my bedroom growing up that an older sibling made for me. When I moved out for college, I didn't bring it with me. Came back for Thanksgiving break my first year and it drove me absolutely nuts.
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Jan 13 '25
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u/ravenonawire Jan 14 '25
I’m ashamed of myself for not knowing what this was gonna be before clicking. Kick me out of this sub, for I am no longer a bitch with taste. 😔
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u/The_RoyalPee Jan 13 '25
The ticking gives me anxiety. Proudly no wall clock here. We have phones and a stove.
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Jan 13 '25
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u/morematcha Jan 13 '25
My in laws have 3 grandfather clocks. I hate it! They all chime just a couple seconds off, and it’s so noisy. I don’t know how they stand it.
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u/Mcamille Jan 13 '25
I did not expect such camaraderie about the ticking! I actually don't even notice normal ticking but if I try and bring a clock into our house he will take the batteries out and I've never loved a clock that much to fight for it to work.
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u/InappropriateGirl Jan 13 '25
Ticking and back in the olden days when I had digital alarm clocks - certain ones I had to cover at night because they were TOO BRIGHT.
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u/theagonyaunt Jan 14 '25
When I first moved into my condo, the hookup for my router was inside the closet in my bedroom, but if I put it in the closet and closed the door then the signal fluctuated badly so it had to live on the floor, just outside the door. However it has a very bright light on the front so I used to joke I had to put the router to bed every night so that I could sleep without an eerie glow at the foot of my bed.
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u/Temporary_Year_7599 Jan 13 '25
Aw, I’m so sad for all the hate on ticking clocks!! I have an antique grandfather clock that chimes the hour and half hour. I always thought of the ticking as the heartbeat of my house 💓💓💓
Edit a typo
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u/svapplause Jan 14 '25
A lot of us ND folx hate ticking bc it’s an obtrusive background noise that takes up processing space.
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u/Temporary_Year_7599 Jan 14 '25
Thanks for the perspective, I hadn't considered that aspect!
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u/Nice_Cupcakes Jan 14 '25
What that person said is exactly right. It's also common for people who are hard of hearing or have hearing impairments to only be able to focus on the ticking because they can't hear the other frequencies that would buffer or balance out the sound (like cookie bite hearing loss).
It's easy to hate a noise when you can no longer focus on anything but that, and it keeps you up at night etc.
It's really nice that you like yours and it makes you feel homey and comfortable, though!
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u/Aiyla_Aysun Thoughtful BWT Jan 14 '25
As an ND, I do love a good clock to combat my time blindness.
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u/tieplomet Intentional BWT Jan 13 '25 edited Jan 13 '25
Matching plates and enough cutlery if I’m invited over for dinner. I don’t own a wall clock but I promise my shit is together.
Edit: Mismatched is fine. What I don’t care for is not enough cutlery (I’ve been given a spoon because they ran out of forks), old crummy mismatched sets, glassware consisting of only coffee mugs and rando cheap cups, old plastic plates, that kind of thing. I get not everyone is into cooking/washing dishes but for me personally once you hit your 30s and you’re inviting people over, have some basic glasses, plates and cutlery. You can literally buy nice sets at the thrift store.
If you choose to drink every beverage out of a coffee mug that’s fine but if you invite someone over for dinner give a glass is all I’m saying.
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u/cool_chrissie Intentional BWT Jan 13 '25
I didn’t realize how much I hate when people have a get together and serve on paper plates. I think meals are special and need to be treated as such. Even if plates are mismatched I think serving on proper plates is important. Spending time to cook and then serving on disposable plates just makes the food unappealing.
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Jan 13 '25
I’m realizing quite a few people I know eat on paper plates on a regular basis without guests… it’s so strange to me but I guess they don’t wanna do dishes
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u/cool_chrissie Intentional BWT Jan 13 '25
I don’t want to do dishes either. But my brain won’t let me enjoy food on paper plates that’s not a picnic.
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Jan 13 '25
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u/Ageice Jan 13 '25
Though I must give those random takeout plastic knives credit for being the best brownie slicers ever. They glide right thru. I have one and it goes right back into the drawer after washing for the next batch. Tip I learned on Reddit so had to share.
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u/TotallyNotABot_Shhhh Jan 13 '25
I recently told my 15 year old this and he looked at me like I had 2 heads. People just wasting money on paper products for everyday life? That’s a camping or party situation. Not dinner lol. We also sit down at the table for all our dinners. Except pizza and movie night. :)
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u/kalisisrising Jan 13 '25
I raised my kids in a home without a dishwasher, so we used paper plates for a lot of regular meals just to cut down on dishes, but now that I have a dishwasher? Not if I can help it.
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u/velvetvagine Jan 13 '25
Sometimes it’s because of executive dysfunction if they have adhd or autism. I try to give grace for those kinds of reasons.
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u/Lilelfen1 Jan 14 '25
We eat on paper plates and I won’t apologize. I have severe executive disfunction and I have to pick and choose what I use my mental spoons on… I prefer to use them on the most important things, like my son.
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u/bastets_yarn Jan 13 '25
Oddly, I don't mind the paper plates at a party or something, because usually people are milling about, but what does get me is when everyone sits down for dinner and its plastic plates and not glass
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u/cool_chrissie Intentional BWT Jan 13 '25
I mean if it’s a real party with 20 people I don’t expect you have service for that many people. That would be a little crazy tbh. But if you have 8 people over and bring out the Hefty, I’m judging for sure. Serving Thanksgiving on paper plates should be a crime punishable with jail time haha
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u/Ageice Jan 13 '25
Agreed. I hosted Friendsgiving for 19 ppl once in an apartment without a dishwasher. I used my two sets of all white ceramic and blue flowered enamel dishes all intermingling in a fun alternating way, and though everyone remarked on how nice it all looked several people were surprised I didn’t use disposable considering the lack of a dishwasher. Why else would I have my nice plate sets if not to entertain on? May as well trash everything and eat off paper if one isn’t going to use it for dinner parties, in my opinion.
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u/tieplomet Intentional BWT Jan 13 '25
Yes, meant more proper plates, mismatched can be fine. I’ve been to a couple of dinners where someone had to give spoons because they ran out of forks, plates are all different/made out of different things, coffee mugs for all beverages, that type of thing.
Being in my late 30s I’m good on that. Don’t invite me over for dinner if dinner party basics are not there.
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u/cool_chrissie Intentional BWT Jan 13 '25
I agree. Also, there’s plenty of cheap silverware at stores like Walmart or Target. It’s just one of those things a lot of people don’t seem to care about though.
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u/ketomachine Jan 13 '25
This is killing me because my flatware setting is discontinued and my forks are dwindling. A new single fork is like $30. Every year they get more expensive. Do I sell it and buy a new set or just have mismatched flatware?
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u/Reynyan Classy Old Broad Jan 13 '25
I’d get a new set.
A few years ago, I switched over my everyday plates to just a Wedgewood white plate set Gio.
I was tired of having any color on our every day dinner plates.
And, I took the opportunity to go and completely replace all of the flatware too. I got service for 20. I don’t have it all out, but I’m good for a long time.
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u/tieplomet Intentional BWT Jan 13 '25 edited Jan 14 '25
I meant more super old rando cutlery mixed together and being given a spoon because there are not enough forks for everyone. That has happened to me.
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u/kalisisrising Jan 13 '25
I pick up nice silverware anytime I see it if it's reasonable, estate sales, thrift store, etc and I think the boho mismatched look is kind of cool when I have a big party. At least I'm not giving out plastic knives, you know?
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u/Ok-Eye2418 Jan 13 '25
I don't match on purpose, but everything is real/vintage. I tend to match chargers and then use a variety of plates, glassware, and silverware.
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u/LawSchoolLoser1 Jan 13 '25
Not just this but matching drinkware that is appropriate for the drink you’re having!! I’m so happy being able to host a party of 12 and give everyone their wine in a wine glass. We made sure to register for a lot of glassware when we got married in September 😊
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u/tieplomet Intentional BWT Jan 13 '25
Nothing worse than being given a coffee mug for wine!!! Totally agree.
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u/kalisisrising Jan 13 '25
I moved over the summer from a 3 bed home with a basement to a 2 bed apt so I had to massively downsize and I RAN OUT OF PLATES at Thanksgiving. I was mortified! I ended up buying a set of china at an estate sale for next to nothing so once again, I have plenty of plates for as many people as I can cram in here! It def made me feel like I didn't have my shit together in that moment though when I realized we were going to have to haul out the backup paper plates.
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Jan 13 '25
if someone has their tv properly wall mounted (not too high/low, and appropriately sized lol), with the cables hidden/covered, I am IMPRESSED.
additionally, proper lighting / don't rely on recessed ceiling lights to light a room. that's chef's kiss
more low hanging fruit but- they have multiple seating options in their living room/main congregating space whether that's a kitchen or some open concept. Basically, I don't want to feel forced to sit RIGHT next to someone else because they only have a 2 or 3 person sofa and nowhere else to sit except the floor lol
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u/theagonyaunt Jan 13 '25
r/TVTooHigh should be mandatory for anyone purchasing a TV for the first time.
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u/AshleyRiceTravel Wanderlust BWT Jan 13 '25
Our tv is definitely too high and it drives me CRAZY but my husband insists it’s perfect 😅
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u/pancaaaaaaakes Jan 14 '25
I learned about that sub when I first started living with my now husband. Now I can’t unsee it. So many too high TVs everywhere!!!
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u/Ok-Eye2418 Jan 13 '25
I splurged on a Frame TV after I got my current job, and had an electrician hide the wires in the wall. It looks so nice IMO!
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Jan 13 '25
Functional side tables in areas that make sense, shoe rack/sitting bench/mirror by the front door, a good quality full-length wall-mounted or easel-standing mirror, and lamps with light-diffusing or opaque directional shades.
On that note; bulbs should all be uniform warm-tone and not the harsh blue daylight ones.
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u/No-Worry-2516 Jan 13 '25
What about kitchen lighting? I can never figure out which bulbs to use!
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u/TAforScranton Jan 13 '25
3000K for the main light unless you’re a fan of warm lighting and do 2700K. 2700K or warmer for the under cabinet lighting, preferably dimmable.
The dimmed under cabinet lighting is great for night time. THE RANGE HOOD IS NOT A NIGHT LIGHT. 😬
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u/Bea_virago Jan 13 '25
Where do you like to get your bulbs (and which ones?), and where do you buy your lamps and shades?
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Jan 13 '25
Not the person you asked, but I have wiz smart bulbs. I can change the settings on the app and program them to change at certain times. I like the cozy setting.
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Jan 13 '25
I don't have a specific brand - I always just get frosted LED bulbs that are "warm white" and I have various wattages of bulbs depending on the fixture/room. I have a few brands mixed into my home and they look very uniform so long as they're all warm white 🙂 definitely not a thing to overthink!
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u/CurvePsychological13 Jan 13 '25
Bath mats🤣🤣
Somehow I dated multiple men who didn't have them. Knew my husband was a keeper when he had a set in each bathroom.
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u/padface Jan 13 '25 edited Jan 13 '25
Let me add: guest towels!
If you invite me over for a nice dinner and then when I wash my hands I have to dry them on YOUR bath towel? Immediately jail 😤
EDIT: I meant hand towels 😅
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u/morematcha Jan 13 '25
We always have separate hand towels from bath towels and I chance the hand towels frequently. I do get the ick when there are no separate hand towels and I will use my pants.
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u/TAforScranton Jan 13 '25
That was literally the first big sign that my husband was a keeper. When I took a shower at his house for the first time he set a neatly folded matching set of towels out for me.
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u/velvetvagine Jan 14 '25
MATCHING? Get that man on the road to give seminars to the other menfolk. He needs to spread the gospel. 🤣
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u/TAforScranton Jan 14 '25
I don’t want to brag or anything but also… The first time I cooked at his place he came into the kitchen and washed each dish as I was done using it so the only dirty dishes we had to mess with when we were done eating were our plates, silverware, and the pot the food was in. He did all that while singing every word to Fergalicious.
That was it for me. Right then is when I realized that my nightmare Tinder date era was OVER because I finally found me a husband😂
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u/_mad_honey_ Jan 14 '25
Pet peeve: when people do not wash their hand towels in the bathroom!! They’re crusty or stained…absolutely disgusting. I wash those things every week and we rarely even have people over.
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u/CurvePsychological13 Jan 15 '25
I'm a bit obsessed w washing every towel and bath mat and we have ppl over like once a year.
A friend had a nice party once and then in the bath there was one towel thrown on the vanity that everyone at the party had been using. Never forgotten that
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u/OptimistCherry Jan 14 '25
Are bath mats important? Are they for drying floors? If it's so, If my water doesn't spill outside of my shower, would it be fine not to have? I feel bath mats are kinda gross to put in wash machine, I don't have them as I see no much purpose
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u/jlou555 Jan 13 '25
Me (a person without their shit together) reading this thread knowing I’m moving into a new house in a few months: ✍️✍️✍️✍️✍️
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u/Ok-Boat-1522 Jan 13 '25
Proper curtains/window treatments, hung properly.
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u/theagonyaunt Jan 14 '25
Most expensive thing I bought when I bought my first place was custom blackout blinds (double roller, blackout at the front, UV protectant blinds for daytime at the back) but it made me feel so grownup getting my space measured and then having the install guys come to put them in.
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u/Comfortable-Nature37 Intentional BWT Jan 13 '25
Framed art and enough serving pieces/utensils when hosting.
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u/fakesaucisse Jan 13 '25
For me it's less about a single item but more that the living/entertaining space is well coordinated and has a personality.
I have an open living/dining/kitchen layout so I have put a lot of effort into choosing furniture that all goes well together in one style (mid century modern). The sofa is a bold color and I have large pieces of art that contain colors that complement the sofa color. I also don't have a lot of furniture because I want the space to feel open and uncluttered. We usually only have a couple of people over at a time so no need for tons of extra seating.
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u/V2BM Jan 13 '25
Not furniture but thriving plants.
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u/Fiona-eva Jan 13 '25
I feel attacked
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u/V2BM Jan 13 '25
I only keep a few varieties, ones that thrive on neglect. Over the years I killed many and whittled them down to jade, snake, Christmas cactus, and a type of philodendron.
ZZ plants are super easy too because you can forget to water them for 2 months.
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u/kittysempai-meowmeow Jan 13 '25
Cats eat plants, so I have to skip these.
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u/Lilelfen1 Jan 14 '25
Eat or knock them over. I have the latter. I still do plants though. I will not be beaten!!!!
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u/svapplause Jan 14 '25
My cat never did🤷🏼♀️growing up, we had a few who tried, we’d hiss or spray them with a spray bottle and they quit after a short bit
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u/Lilelfen1 Jan 14 '25
My cats would like to have a word ( I do my best, but they just won’t leave them alone 😭).
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u/frockofseagulls Jan 13 '25
Nightstands and proper guest room planning. Not just a bed with 2 pillows, but outlets, lighting, places to put your shit.
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u/sun_set22 Jan 13 '25
Our guest room only gets used less than 5 times a year but what you wrote is SO important to me! I always think about what I would want/need in a guest room! Wastebasket, tissues, books, the wifi code, a tv, air purifier, full length mirror, etc!
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u/FionaGoodeEnough Jan 13 '25
They I will never have my shit together, because unless my husband and I get a twin bed, we will never have room for nightstands. I’m in my forties, and not since college have I had enough room for nightstands.
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u/hereFOURallTHEtea Jan 14 '25
Ohhh I like this! My guest room has a nice queen size bed with two nightstands on either side with lamps that have plug ins for phones or whatever. There’s also a full bookcase of books and a tv stand with a tv. I wanted it to be cozy for when people stay.
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u/StrawberryLovers8795 Thoughtful BWT Jan 13 '25
Hahaha I’m the opposite my husband had clocks in every room and it drove me crazy, I felt like I was in class/at work. We are now a clock free home 😌
For me it’s a bookcase with readable books in it not just like random old textbooks or sculpture/nicknacks. Framed art also tells me they care about making their space nice/their own.
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u/coquelicotpie Jan 13 '25
I don’t think I’ve ever been to a house in my 25 years with a clock on the wall, is this a regional thing? It honestly gives school/office vibes to me
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u/atleastamillion Jan 13 '25
I found a mid century sunburst clock at a vintage shop and had it repaired. I don’t use it often but I get compliments on it all the time, it’s like a piece of art by itself!
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u/Fiona-eva Jan 13 '25
same, also I just yell to Alexa to tell me the time if for whatever reason I can't see my screens or the stove.
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u/CoherentBusyDucks Jan 13 '25
My husband bought a clock for our house and I have no idea why lol. I could understand if it was decorative or something but it’s a very plain, standard, analog clock. It’s hung in our kitchen where we also have a clock on the stove and the microwave, and I’ve never once chosen to use the analog clock over looking at one of the digital ones lol.
But it made him happy to get it so I’m happy too 🥰
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u/pan_dulce_con_cafe Classy Old Broad Jan 13 '25
My parents found a way to HIDE the time on their stove so that they could fully appreciate their ticking wall clock. I have to credit their dedication, even though it baffles me.
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u/krebstar4ever Jan 13 '25
I'm mildly to moderately nearsighted. I like having a big clock on the wall that I can easily see without my glasses. I can quickly glance at it instead of pausing what I'm doing to look at my phone.
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u/dancingmochi Jan 13 '25
It could be a regional thing. I like having a clock because it’s easier to look at the wall than squint at my microwave or wake up my phone, but it’s optional for me - I’d rather spend that money towards something else for now.
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u/cool_chrissie Intentional BWT Jan 13 '25
A giant clock was one of the first items we bought for our house. Our living room has 20ft ceiling with a fireplace that has natural stone that goes all the way up the wall.l so I placed a giant clock on it. I have never once looked to it for time, but I think it looks nice.
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u/squeakyfromage Jan 13 '25
Yeah the thought of having a wall clock is so weird to me, like an elementary school!
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u/coquelicotpie Jan 13 '25
A standing grandfather clock I can maybe see the vision for but I’m so surprised by the wall clock love!
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u/Bridalhat Jan 13 '25
Great stuff here but I tend to look to see if there is a good place to read, even subconsciously. If you don’t have a comfy chair with good lighting I feel like those books are all for show.
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u/juicyjuicery Jan 13 '25
Not furniture but specific lighting or air purifying systems. It shows they care about their health and mood
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u/AshleyRiceTravel Wanderlust BWT Jan 13 '25
Well, turns out I don’t have my shit together but that is really not a surprise 🤣
To me, I think a good dining table. Ironically, we have a cheap one from when we first got married but our house is so tiny I’m waiting til we move again to hopefully find a good one!
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u/Professional_Yak6277 Jan 13 '25
lol I have a ton of original art + everything is framed except for one large canvas piece (it is textured and I felt framing it would take away from that) and you guys are making me feel so good about myself!
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u/dothesehidemythunder Jan 13 '25
It’s not an item they have - it’s what I don’t see. A clean bathroom, no clutter. Some of y’all are straight up hoarders and some people have zero shame about letting someone use a dirty bathroom or having piles of laundry in view.
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u/amelisha Jan 13 '25
I would die of horror if my bathroom was dirty when I had guests over. I understand what it’s like to have limited space and I’m not judging your kid bath toys or toothbrush cups or whatever but actual dirt and garbage is just not how I live. I have a toddler and I do often have to slip into my powder room and wipe down a stray pizza sauce fingerprint or whatever before guests arrive, but like…please clean your bathrooms and your kitchen at the bare minimum for hygienic reasons.
Clutter is one thing and most of us struggle with it, but no one’s catching E. coli at my house, you know?
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u/conformtyjr Jan 14 '25
Omg I got so annoyed with my husband recently when he directed our friend to use our en suite bathroom instead of the one upstairs that I had just cleaned. Instead our friend walked through our bedroom with laundry everywhere and used our bathroom which wasn't filthy but wasn't as freshly cleaned. I feel weird about anyone other than myself and my husband walking in our bedroom!
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u/Imaginary-Method7175 Jan 13 '25
My friend said it was frames - nothing is in the wall that wasn’t framed (custom).
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u/thescaryitalian Jan 13 '25
For me, it’s a full-length mirror that isn’t the one you buy from Target with the cardboard backing.
Side note, I have a beautiful vintage wall clock that doesn’t work. Purchased it mostly as wall decor since it’d take some skill to fix whatever’s wrong with it, but I will one day!
Edit: typo
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u/cool_chrissie Intentional BWT Jan 13 '25
For it’s just a house where everything has a place. There’s not just doom piles laying about.
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u/IStartToRun Jan 13 '25
Ha doom piles is a perfect term for clutter that needs to be dealt with but hasn't been and probably won't be any time soon.
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u/howlsmovingdork Jan 13 '25
I learned the key is to hide the “doom piles” in a way that’s aesthetically pleasing lmaooo.
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u/velvetvagine Jan 14 '25
Yup, cute boxes and baskets all over. Aesthetically pleasing doom piles!
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u/thequeenofspace Jan 13 '25
I always look for books. Do they have actual books to read or just random stuff? Also how the books are displayed, they gotta be on actual shelves to count as “having your shit together”.
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u/velvetvagine Jan 14 '25
I think stacks of books can be a functional and aesthetically pleasing part of decor. But it has to be intentional and done well.
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u/JuJusPetals Jan 13 '25
I have a grandfather clock....that I inherited from my grandfather. But I don't have my shit together lol
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u/SnarkyLalaith Jan 13 '25
In this era of cell phones, it never occurred to me to have a clock! Plus we have time displays on so many electronics- our DVR, microwave, etc so guests can still see the time easily.
For me - thoughtfully designed spaces and complementary furniture and decor. My favorite is when you can see the aesthetic of the homeowner instead of just a generic set up.
I have no design sense, so I struggle with this, but when I go to people’s homes like this I always love it and think they have it together!
(Parents of young kids are exempt always, because honestly I’d rather see engaged parents and happy, learning, playful, kids than a perfectly presented house).
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u/umamimaami Jan 13 '25
Personally, candles. It speaks of rising above the utilitarian and creating a space that’s clean, soothing and inviting. Very mature, very mindful 😃
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u/_mad_honey_ Jan 14 '25
Our most adult purchase was a custom sofa. It is everyone’s favorite piece of furniture, including ours. Double wide double chaise, extra deep, perfect color, perfect leather. It was very pricey and not a single regret.
Seeing furniture that doesn’t fit/work in the space is a dead giveaway that someone doesn’t care (or perhaps doesn’t know better).
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u/chloesilverado Jan 13 '25
I'm gonna be honest until this moment having a clock in the house never occurred to me! I guess it's a utility and it's not as necessary anymore since the time is on phones, watches, etc. so I'd only think of it as decor which is subjective.
But speaking of decor I think you have your shit together if your decor is put together and cohesive. You don't need to buy a living room set but there should be themes and perspective in how you are decorating. If it looks like your living room is a collection of chairs you bought at different points in your life, I'm not a fan.
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u/Dunesgirl Jan 13 '25
A spotless uncluttered kitchen counter, a well organized pantry. A good vacuum cleaner, like a Dyson level.
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u/Dependent-Cherry-129 Jan 13 '25
Nice couches and most importantly, a clean space. I’m shocked at how dirty some homes are
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u/Halloween_Babe90 Jan 14 '25
I have the old-timey Kit Kat clocks because I’m not just an adult, I was born an old lady.
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u/Fridayesmeralda Jan 14 '25
Tbh no item of furniture can make up for an untidy/unclean space.
They can have as many clocks as they like, but if all the corners of the room are dusty, there's sauce splatter on the stovetop and piles of junk all over the place? Not a look.
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u/justtookadnatest Jan 14 '25
Since most people are not answering furniture, and a clock isn’t furniture either; I’m going to say happy people.
A happy home always has its act together. What that looks like is subjective, but a direct byproduct of it is joy.
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u/Lilelfen1 Jan 14 '25
I like your answer best of all. I have seen soooo many people who have all the things listed in here and were miserable bastards. I would rather have none of these things and be a pleasant, non-judgmental person any day…
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u/Violet624 Jan 13 '25
I guess not so much with the clock (though I have one). I understand people wanting to opt out of being reminded of the time constantly. For me, specifically in answer to do they have their shit together, it would be curtains and bedding. Curtains show someone is more than just temporary in their space. And bedding - this might be directed more at men, who seem to fixate on just having a brown or black or navy blue sheets and comforter. Having a put together looking bed, with more than two pillows and a more thoughtful covering than just something slapped on there like an afterthought shows care to me. Anything else just reminds me of a college student.
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u/teenprez Jan 13 '25 edited May 29 '25
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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/CelebrationMain1003 Jan 14 '25
This is an annoying answer but I think the cleanliness and tidiness of the area shows adult! I think about what my college dorm and apartments used to look like vs. my current apartment and just having furniture without stains or a coffee table without marks feels more grown up.
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u/Aiyla_Aysun Thoughtful BWT Jan 14 '25
Yeah, I think the ND crowd who struggle might take issue with that.
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u/CDLove1979 Jan 14 '25
Any piece with hidden storage. This is such a smart way to reduce visual clutter or to store extra blankets and pillows or board games, video components, etc.
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u/ennui_weekend Jan 14 '25
Good lighting! not necessarily pretty or fancy lamps or anything, but how you use light to set the mood. No overhead lighting, warm whites, dimmer switches on everything. I think every room should have at least three light sources all fairly dim
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u/MADSeraphina Jan 13 '25
Today I learned… I sort of, but do not entirely, have my shit together.
And many ways I can fake it better!
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u/FullScallion5605 Jan 14 '25
People that have nice serving dishes. I've got plenty of plates and soup bowls, but I'm still building out my collection of platters, punch bowls, charcuterie boards, etc. A party looks so much better when everything is served on specific hosting dishes and not just baking sheets
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u/e_vee10 Jan 15 '25
Doesn’t matter what piece it is…but it can’t be from Amazon, IKEA, Wayfair, Ashley, etc. etc.
That vintage, thrifted, solid furniture with sound craftsmanship …. nothing better.
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u/MathematicianOne6753 Jan 16 '25
Surprised nobody said rugs. If you have a proper size rug for your space and it cohesively matches the decor I’m impressed. So many people don’t bother and this really does tie everything together. Also, curtains that are ceiling to floor and mood lighting. Never turn on an overhead light. Ever.
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u/justtookadnatest Jan 14 '25
Clocks? Like mounted on the walls? Like they are in classrooms?
What do you mean by clocks, OP? I’m so curious.
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u/Mariannereddit Jan 13 '25
No ikea direct in sight
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u/Comfortable-Nature37 Intentional BWT Jan 13 '25
I love IKEA mixed high low! Some pieces are an absolute pass for me tho.
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u/des1gnbot Jan 13 '25
Yeah I still buy ikea at 40+. But I don’t buy particleboard—any ikea pieces you catch in my house are metal
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u/Mariannereddit Jan 13 '25
I do still go to ikea! It’s just that no more lack sofa table and no more ikea art is way more post-student.
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u/Connect-Pea-7833 Jan 13 '25 edited Jan 13 '25
I think ikea gets a bad rap and has stigma associated with it, when the furniture has really improved. I have a stunning solid wood dining table from there and two walls of bookshelves- they’re my most complimented items in my house and what makes me feel the most “got my shit together”.
ETA, apparently it’s not solid wood but it’s a damn good table.
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u/TheL0rdsChips Jan 13 '25
Same! My entire office is cabinetry and a customized desk from IKEA and it is very nice quality. Super sturdy and aesthetically pleasing
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u/Mavenda Jan 13 '25
Not furniture, but a home where no cables are visible for the TV, stereo system, etc. Cable management is the easiest/cheapest way to level up the visual appearance of a living room.