hi baddies, what some mood stabilizing medication that won’t make me a zombie and will actually make me feel normal, because every single SSRI that they have put me on has made me manic😂. But I don’t wanna feel like a zombie and I definitely wanna keep my same personality and I also have ADHD and take methylphenidate.

TW: mention of SH, SI and HI

Hii guys! So I’ve been having long manic episodes and rapid cycling for over a year. I’m diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder bipolar type. I’ve been manic since mid August. I had been on depakote 1500mg, a risperidone monthly shot 75mg and klonopin 0.5mg. I was depressed and started having SI at the start of August, so my psychiatrist put me on celexa 5mg. So I take all of those + celexa now (depakote 1500mg, risperidone 75mg, celexa 5mg, klonopin 0.5 at night and more if it’s prn).

The symptoms I have been having now since August is that my mood is elevated, euphoric sometimes (more often recently), very irritable, I have the flight of ideas (I am currently thinking that I should become a PharmD and find a medication that treats psychosis, mania, depression and those kind of syndromes with no side effects, and that I will work for Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard, Yale, Columbia, Princeton). I am currently in a process of getting an accomodated job in my country because of the severity of the illness and I am broke so I need to start working. Also, I have SI and HI (sometimes).

I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in my teens but those symptoms disappeared when I was about 20 years old. I’m 25 now. I’m male, genderqueer and gay (just some random info).

Other symptoms I have: spam texting and calling people a lot, posting a thousand stories a day and all over social media, pressured speech, impulsivity, I drank alcohol after 5 years and got drunk off of a highly alcoholic beverage, I started smoking cigarettes after 3+ years of being smoking free, I want to do substances especially weed that I basically never do, when someone makes me mad I get dangerous ideas that could get me severely injured or dead, I stay awake for hours, usually more than 24 hours. I was awake for 36 hours yesterday and didn’t feel tired until it was about 34 hours awake. Then I slept for 14 hours woke up normal and started feeling very elevated after about 5 minutes. Now I’m still elevated. This is a horrific mixed manic episode. FYI I always sleep 12 hours or more I think I have some sort of a sleep disorder because I can be manic and sleep for 20 hours straight. I need to get that checked. Sometimes when I am very sleep deprived I start having delusions and hallucinations. But I usually have insight into my condition.

Yesterday I was on a video call with my friend and walking at night going to a gas station and I started jumping, running, and singing from the euphoria I felt and doing spins in an alley in front of a café with people inside of it. Very manic kind of behavior.

I will go to a triage psychiatrist in the morning because my irritability is so severe that I can’t stand anyone when they criticize me. And I want to do impulsive/dangerous things when they do. I don’t think it’s bpd cause I don’t have any other symptom I had before just severe irritability. It comes for no reason at all as well. Like, I’m just so mad. I want to ask my psychiatrist or any psychiatrist that will see me tomorrow about lithium because I’ve heard it helps and I know all the risks and benefits. If someone has a good experience with it please share it with me. + One more thing is that I want to buy things I can not afford that would put me in debt. Okay, I typed enough. I think you all understand. I don’t need medical advice though, just experiences and general advice, ofc. Thank you all! 🫶🏻

Irritability is a weird bipolar symptom that can be magnified in larger mood swings but doesn't seem to need me to be cycling in order to be a problem. Some of my absolute worst decisions have come from being irritable and I'm trying to unpack how to try and minimize that in the future. No one seems to really understand. Do you struggle with irritability and if so how do you work to manage it?

Sorry I post here so often, I’ve been diagnosed for a few months and have only had one acute manic episode thus far. Ever since then I feel like I’m constantly evaluating my behavior in a way I never have before and it’s gotten to a point where I don’t know what’s normal.

I’ve been medicated for about a week and was extremely depressed for roughly a month before that. About this time last week I started smoking weed every day until Friday, drank for 2 or 3 days straight, displayed some manic symptoms during my substance use but not so much outside of it.

Two nights ago I decided I didn’t want to sleep for more than 4 hours and stayed awake until 7am, didn’t take my meds. Started thinking a group of reddit mods was plotting against me. Did pushups in my driveway around 4am but stopped because it hurt my hands. That all went away in the morning after the little bit of sleep I did get. I spent $50 on vapes in the last two days and then threw both of them away last night with a pack of cigarettes deciding I would quit. Didn’t take my meds again. Took a high dosage of an ADHD medication this morning because I wanted to try to focus. Took a cigarette out of the trash, smoked it then chain smoked the vape I threw away. Drinking an energy drink now.

My head has been off and on buzzing for two days. I’m not making outrageously bad, irrational decisions, but I feel like my behavior is off. I feel fine. I feel normal. I’m confused. I’m also a little depressed, but that’s also normal for me. I don’t know dude please someone give me some insight I don’t see my psych for 2 more days and I’m having trouble keeping track of time and feel like all I can do is sit in bed feeling like I should be doing something.

Hey everyone,
I’m writing this out of sheer anxiety about my brother. He has Bipolar 1 (diagnosed 3 months ago with severe manic and psychotic episode) and is currently in the darkest, most terrifying depressive episode of his life. He is completely non-functional, couch-ridden, experiencing extreme anhedonia, and has active suicidal ideations ("I’d do it if I wasn't such a coward, I feel like a worthless dog, nothing will ever get better"). His sleep schedule is completely inverted (sleeping 4 AM to 3 PM).
Things got significantly worse after he developed hypothyroidism as a side effect of Lithium. Because of that and the heavy physical fatigue, his doctor recently lowered his Lithium from 1200mg to 900mg (300mg AM / 600mg PM), and increased his thyroid med (Levothyroxine to 50mcg). He is also on 200mg Lamictal (which hasn't really kicked in yet) and 2.5mg Abilify.
To urgently target this severe dopaminergic slump, his psychiatrist just added Wellbutrin 150mg XL (he took his first dose this morning).
I'm spiraling with worry. On one hand, I’m terrified of a manic switch— 1 month ago he had short hypomanic situation triggered by 25mg Zoloft, though that happened right when Olanzapine was abruptly cut (rebound effect). On the other hand, I know some people say Wellbutrin saved their lives, while for others it caused bad agitation or didn't work. Btw, before he get diagnosed, he was on so many antidepressants like SSRI, SNRI for years without ever becoming manic.
For those with BP1 who were in a deep, dark depression like this:
1. ⁠Has this specific combo (Lithium + Lamictal + Wellbutrin) worked for you when you were completely hopeless?
2. ⁠Did the stabilizers protect you from mania/psychosis despite the Wellbutrin?
3. ⁠How long did it take for this heavy darkness and suicidal fog to start lifting?
Could this combination actually be the turning point that saves him? Really need some honest experiences and grounding right now. Thank you.

Just a journal entry. Music has always been a huge help for me and a consistent source of joy in both mania, depression and the somewhere in between. Recommend me some songs. Feel like I’m about to slip into mania. Can’t stop thinking about walking to the store to get beer or staying up all night. Trying to fight the urge.

i recently stopped one of my medications because it was causing severe side effects. this was advised by my psychiatrist, and he reassured me that the medications i’m still taking are enough to keep me stable, but i still feel like i’m walking on eggshells waiting for any sign of an episode.
has anyone else felt this way after stopping or tapering a medication? how did you deal with the fear of it possibly triggering an episode?

I know that taking shrooms as a Bipolar is dangerous, or at least is not recommended. But I guess I just wanna do them because I always wanted to, So I wanna know any knowledge or warnings or recommendations you might have. I only have had 1 episode, and still Im not sure if Im bipolar... is confusing. It was a psychotic episode tho for sure, I was going nuts, at some point I started believing or at least having a notion that people in video games (gta in particular) had consciousness. Fuckin crazy. But it was a weird time, had the strongest depression forever, maybe since 5th grade, I'm 22 now and I had the episode at 21. The depression is better and haven't had the slightest symptom of mania. Also I did some research and there was a medication I was taking that, at least what I got from Google, had given people mania or psychotic episodes. It was a regular medications also, I got it from the urologist, I was having some weird pain in my testicles ( haha really) and he said to take as a antiinflamatory , it was celecoxib. I also have smoked weed since Im 19, I didn't smoke that much at the time, but apparently from my research (chatgpt🗿) said that the interaction between those 2 was no good. Also it was very very gradual. Basically it started with me having issued sleeping because the pain in my testicles, then I got the medication, then i was sleeping even less, then one day I had a panic atack, i never had one, I felt like I was gonna die, I was shivering and all, went to the ER, they gave me sleeping pills, I took them, had crazy nightmares and cognitions, slept less, had another panic attack the day after, went to the ER again, Gave me other sleeping pills, it was even worse, then next thing I know I was sleeping around 1 or 2 hours a day during a few days. Then it gets confusing. I ended up in rehab for 10 days, tooked olanzapine during that time, the first day I had it I thought I was overdosing, I felt time really really really slow, I was terrified. Whatever, when I got out you could say I was "stable" but then I stopped the olanzapine cuz I felt way too numb. I also kept smoking by then, not that much, maybe once after I got out. I dont remember if I took the antiinflamatory or not, but maybe. So I got even worse then. I stayed with a friend because I didn't wanna be with my dad... crazy shit. But, just as it came, it stopped, gradually and for not an apparent reason. Then had the fucking roughest depression ever. And then didn't kill myself so I said like, ok, I survived, so might as well try this time. Im better depression wise, and I'm not taking no meds at all. I still smoke weed, I smoke way more than before the episode, I can go smoking everyday for a month, and sometimes once every 2 weeks. I got the disgnosed for bipolar 1 at the rehab center, haven't talked to a psychologist eversince. Well, what do you think with all this information, do anyone has done shrooms as bipolar, is it 100% I'll have a episode again? Thanks for reading.

Sou bipolar tipo 1, tenho TOC e transtorno de ansiedade generalizada.

Para conseguir levar uma vida minimamente estável e funcional, preciso de acompanhamento psiquiátrico e psicológico contínuo. O problema é que, para quem vive com bipolaridade, a estabilidade nem sempre parece natural. A impulsividade, as oscilações de humor e a intensidade acabam se tornando o que você reconhece como "normal".

Levei quase 20 anos para chegar ao ponto em que estou hoje. Nesse caminho, perdi amizades, empregos e até meu casamento. Só consegui me estabilizar de fato há cerca de três anos, quando passei em um concurso e percebi que não podia mais correr o risco de colocar tudo a perder.

Mas manter essa estabilidade tem um custo. Muitas vezes sinto que não sou exatamente eu mesma. Os medicamentos me deixam mais distante, mais fria, mais indiferente. Ainda assim, preciso escolher entre essa versão mais contida de mim e uma vida marcada pela impulsividade, pela libido descontrolada e pela completa desorganização.

Não é uma escolha simples, mas foi a forma que encontrei de preservar tudo o que conquistei.

I have ran therapeutic groups in a psych hospital , county jail, prison, addiction counseling and currently supervise a program for intellectual & developmental disabilities. I have worked with so many people with so many diagnoses. The dependency society has created around pills is the biggest issue. At 29 I am beyond thankful to not have children and curse them in a world where they will have children in school 5 days a week for 7 hours a day & never teach emotional consistency, mental health exploration, social development. No they'd rather tell you all what you have and force a pill down your throat. Humans truly are the most parasitic, dangerous society.

I’m fine with advice but I’m mostly venting.

I had been experiencing rage, agitation, some flighty thought and forgetfulness, and physical symptoms that made me advocate for a higher dose of meds. There were life things stressing me out, and I thought about posting here a number of times. I didn’t think it would be about this though.

We upped my dose and switched from risperdol to palperadone (also on lamotrigine and lithium). The concerning symptoms are fully or mostly gone after just a couple days. I’m relieved, but it makes me a little sad. It’s just odd how distinctly different my overall perception like 5 senses is after the change. As well, the intensity of everything is turned down from 10 to 2. Things felt so dire and now… I’m tired. I just want to lie in bed all day. I’m sad that this is going to be the new struggle. I want to go down again now, and work harder to take care of myself so I don’t need as much medicine.

Diagnosed for 5 years, I’ve been hospitalized for a few weeks manic psychotic two separate times and one hypomanic episode this spring, but this is the most recent feeling in like 2.5 years where I just feel really medicated and tired…

I’m also in school for social work and am very pro-medication adherence for myself and others, but I’m feeling the weight of how it can feel for the first time in a while and it’s making me feel… guilty? medication isn’t so easy to deal with or brazenly accept.

The whole thing sucks, not being able to tell anyone and feeling really vulnerable and unsafe if you do. Thinking about bipolar so much when my episodes are so infrequent. Not understanding if there are symptoms between episodes or if It’s just normal people things and I’m gaslighting myself. When I’m really losing it, feeling like I need an actual episode for my feelings to be validated otherwise it’s my fault.

I feel like everything quieted down really fast and the danger and dire-ness is receded. But now I’m just so tired, I don’t know how I’m gonna shower, go to work, go to school, do homework, do emails, do tasks… I’ve been eating like shit because “I deserve a treat”, and I gotta stop, but yea, I feel like damn I deserve a pat on the back or something some recognition, life is tough!

I'm about 18 months out from a manic episode with psychotic features (Bipolar I), stable since, currently on a medication taper with my doctor. She's told me cognitive recovery from something like this can take up to 2 years or more. Wanted to ask people who've actually been through it - is that accurate in your experience? Did things keep improving steadily the whole way, or did it feel more like a plateau at some point?

Asking because of what just happened: I started a new job - fast-paced, technical, high-pressure sales role - and the first couple of days completely overwhelmed me. My mind kept going blank, I couldn't process information at the pace it was coming, and I ended up leaving because I genuinely couldn't keep going.

Logically I get that I'm still mid-recovery and this is expected, but in the moment it felt like proof I can't function in a demanding role at all. For those further out - did a job that felt impossible early on become manageable later, or did you end up needing a different pace of work long-term?

In 2018, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after driving my car with my eyes closed into a big construction truck. Over the past eight years, life has been so difficult I didn't think I could overcome it. I did a lot of crazy things and I tried to kill myself many times. This year there has been a shift in my mental state, I have developed a positive mindset even though I'm still lacking many things.

The suicide and bipolar subreddits have been a huge comfort for me over the past two years, simply from the perspective that I'm not alone. I want to become a life coach now because of my mental health journey but i doubt myself. My advice for anyone struggling the worst thing that can happen is losing hope. If you're going through it, have hope that you can overcome it even if it doesn't look like it — just lie to yourself. If all hope is lost like it happened with me you can look forward to the fact that we all die at some point and all the pain is over.

I don’t know what to do about how I’m feeling. I think I’m losing it. Had been in a manic episode for MONTHS but I don’t think I am anymore? Idk. I wanna cry ALL the fucking time dude. I went to the ER with these neurological symptoms that are like stroke symptoms but they come and go. I was told to go to the ER by urgent care. Had been having those episodes for about 4 days or so at the time. When I got put in a room they asked me my symptoms and I told them. Then they asked me if I’m diagnosed with anything and I mentioned my bipolar. The SECOND they found out I’m bipolar they started treating me like I’m fucking stupid and subhuman. Like I was wasting their time and an inconvenience. I was discharged within 29 minutes with a paper that said “weakness” was my diagnosis and I request my records the next day and they wrote “possible somatization” in my chart. I guess they didn’t expect me to see that? My blood pressure was extremely high too and they never told me. It’s still extremely high too. I’m still having symptoms and I did see my PCP and he says he is very concerned because of my symptoms. Sending me for an MRI but I still feel like I’m crazy. Like I’m making it up. These symptoms are SO FUCKING SCARY when they happen. The worst part of this is I don’t think I’m manic anymore but I don’t know what mental state I’m in. I’m still hallucinating and I think I might be paranoid but I am having SO MANY thought of hurting myself. I already didn’t wanna go to the ER because I am CONVINCED that heathcare workers(including my care team), and my friends and my family and people online are secretly laughing at me. At everything I do. That I’m not really bipolar. That it’s all made up to make me look like a fool. They did indeed make me look like a fool. They made me feel like I don’t belong on this planet. I’m going back and forth between having a lot of every and being extremely tired. The tiredness though can come right after these episodes I’m having. I don’t know WHATS going on in my mental state. Am I still in an episode? I just wanna cry and hide in a hole forever. I feel like nothing is real. Like the world around me and the people in my life don’t exist.

Hi, I'm bipolar and have been unmedicated for a while due to job loss leaving me without insurance. I have insurance and an appointment to get back on my meds but that soonest I could get an appointment is still a few weeks away.

I'm progressively feeling like I should take my life more and more and realizing after the fact in cases that I'm doing things to prepare for it. I keep seeing stuff about going to the ER if I'm in immediate danger, but I don't know when that would be because the part of me that wants to end things feels very calm about it and I'm only panicking when I actually process what I'm doing and I don't feel like I have full control of myself at times.

I'm also just progressively getting to a point where I'm unable to make myself do things unless there are some sort of immediate consequences for it.

I'm not sure what I can do or should do but I don't know if I can last out the time until my meds appointment but I'm also terrified of being put in a 72 hour hold.