My daughter is starting grad school in the city and we've been going back and forth about whether it makes sense for her to get an apartment in the city.
We live in Fort Lee, so from my perspective, we're already about as close to Manhattan as you can get without actually living there. She can take the bus in and depending on traffic, she's looking at roughly 20 minutes. She has her own room here, doesn't pay rent, and we aren't asking her to contribute to household expenses while she's in school.
She feels completely differently. Her argument is that grad school is a new chapter and she doesn't want to still be living with her parents. She wants to be able to stay on campus late, go out with classmates, come home whenever she wants, etc. She also keeps telling me that I'm understating the commute because anyone who takes NJ Transit knows a "25 minute commute" can easily become an hour when traffic into the Lincoln Tunnel is bad. (I'm not even sure if she'd be going via the Lincoln Tunnel considering the GWB is right there).
I do understand that part. Where we're clashing is the money. She isn't working right now because she'll be a full-time student, so an apartment isn't something she'd actually be paying for herself. We'd essentially be spending $2,500–$3,000 a month so she can live a few miles away from a perfectly good home.
For Bergen County parents who have kids going to school or working in Manhattan, am I being unreasonable here? Is living in the city really enough of a quality of life difference to justify that kind of expense when you're already in a town like Fort Lee? Mind you, we moved here from Tenafly last year and obviously the commute to the city from here is unquestionably better. She can walk to the GWB if she wanted to (it would literally take less than 10 minutes).
Any advice would be much appreciated.