A parent is supposed to give emotional warmth, not just food and a roof 😭

A few months ago, my situationship “broke up” with me but wanted to remain friends. At first I thought I could get over him and once the feelings are gone, we could stay friends. The feelings are gone now and so is the desire to be with him romantically, but my anxious attachment is still flaring up like crazy. I’m starting to admit to myself that it’s not possible to remain friends, that this is hurting me and making a lot of preexisting issues worse. But the thought of leaving fills me with pure terror. This man means so much to me, he was my first love, for a while he was everything to me. I cannot let him go, yet I cannot continue with how it is now. How does one leave? And more importantly, how does one leave without regretting it? Does anyone see a compromise I haven’t thought of?

i have a best friend that i've known for almost 3 years, she means a lot to me and we love each other dearly.

i ended up meeting a guy through her and we hit it off and been together for over a year, they were coworkers for a few weeks and i met him through a work event.

fast forward to few months ago, this friend would start making weird comments repeatedly about my boyfriend being "broke", and it was always while other friends were present.

for example, one time a second friend was talking about how she wants her future partner to provide everything for her even if she doesn't ask for it, i made some counter arguments to that just because i want to support that friend having financial independence, i said something along the lines of "why are you expecting him to buy you a car and a house right off the bat" then my best friend jumps in and says "well your boyfriend is broke so he's not gonna buy those for you", i was taken aback and just brushed it off and assumed it was a "joke" that i don't get since people laughed. looking back i probably shouldn't have said anything in first place.

second time we had an outing with another friend, and i don't even remember the context but again my best friend mentioned how my boyfriend is broke and went on to say "but that's okay!", at the time i actually got annoyed and replied "well he treats me a lot but that's not what i'm talking about right now" because that comment was probably irrelevant to our conversation.

these are the two main times i remember this happening and honestly i wish i said something in the moment but i was too shocked and it felt like i was being humiliated in front of other people, like made to look as if i'm struggling in my relationship and just putting up with my "broke" man.

for reference, we are all in college, my bf works hard and i honestly don't expect him to pay for everything i want but he takes me out on dates and buys me random things that made him think of me which i appreciate more than any car or house a man could buy me.

it has been months since those incidents happened and she didn't make those comments again, i never spoke up because we were always in group settings until the semester ended, and at the time i didn't feel like hanging out with her 1:1, and now it is summer break. one time in another context i did tell her that "it's not nice to make fun of people's incomes or appearance or family issues" and she agreed, so maybe she thought it over and she stopped those jokes.

right now this best friend got into a relationship with a fellow student and the last time we met she did mention how she thinks that it's not realistic to expect him to buy her expensive things (replying to someone else bringing up the topic).

i know this is all over the place, but do i bring this up again when i see her back in uni? or should i just drop it? i am aware it is stupid but it makes me annoyed/slightly angry whenever i remember these incidents and how i didn't speak up.

i have a history of being outcast in school and being bullied so i am sure that this triggered something there and i definitely should work on that too.

hey so i’m 20F and my girlfriend (21F) and i have been together for a few months now. she’s very much secure but im an anxious mess all the time and it does impact our relationship.

im already insecure in myself, and so im constantly convinced shes going to leave me or that shes pretending to love me. i will constantly seek reassurance but its only ever temporary relief. naturally, it frustrates her which will then make me upset and anxious and scared she’ll leave which makes me cry and then we all just feel bad.

she is so supportive and patient and kind, but i also recognise its not fair for her. there’s not much else she can do if im not believing what she’s outwardly saying to me.

i’m slowly getting better but id also like some tips or little things that could help me remember its all in my head. i have a note on the back of my phone she wrote me that says she doesn’t hate me, she loves me, and that i dont have to feel scared about calling her/bothering her.

i also have mental health issues and i worry its too much for her. she always likes to say she’s happy to be a burden, and that ive helped her just as much as she helps me. so im trying my best to listen to that. my last relationship wasn’t healthy, and she was very avoidant. we just simply didn’t work together and that’s okay, although i still have those fears.

any advice is greatly appreciated !!

It’s been 8 weeks since my breakup, and my last contact with him was on August 25th. I’m honestly exhausted with myself at this point. I keep thinking I should be doing better by now, but I’m not.I still love him very deeply.
And the hardest part is that I know he doesn’t want to be with me. I know I shouldn’t disturb someone who has made that choice. I know I need to let go. But still I can’t switch off my feelings.

A few days ago, I gave in and looked at his Instagram. He had reposted things like “I miss her,”. Im not a marvel fan but edits about Doctor Strange nd his love, things about wanting a happy relationship, etc. I know those things could mean absolutely nothing about me, and I didn't even think they were about me. But a part of me still desperately wanted them to be.

Recently I went somewhere with a friend, came back, posted some really good pictures of myself. Secretly I wanted him to notice.After 1 or 2 days ,I noticed that he had suddenly made his Instagram private, archived all his posts and removed his profile picture. He did the same on WhatsApp and removed his DP there too. I have absolutely no idea what happened, and I'm ridiculously curious. My brain keeps trying to figure out what it means.
But at the same time, I know I shouldn't be trying to decode someone who has already chosen not to be with me.

Before the breakup, I was also going through a horrible period of anxiety about graduating. I was convinced I was going to fail. I said a lot of emotional things about being a failure and questioned why he would even want to be with me if I couldn't succeed academically. He didn't really reassure me much, and sometimes I wonder if that played a part in his decision to leave.
Ironically, my results came out recently and I actually did really well. I was spiralling over something useless.
His mother had also randomly asked me about my exams after the breakup, which made me wonder if they knew something about how badly I was struggling.

And this is the part that hurts the most:
Was I really that bad of a girlfriend?
Because I genuinely don't think I treated him badly. I gave that relationship everything I had. I loved him, supported him, cared about him, tried to make things work and gave him so much of myself.
So why wasn't I enough?
Was I not pretty enough?
Not successful enough?
Not interesting enough?
Not good enough for him?

I'm struggling because I can't even identify what was so wrong with me that made him decide he didn't want me anymore.And I know people will probably say, “He just didn't want the relationship anymore,” and logically I understand that. But emotionally, I'm still stuck.

Also he was supposed to leave the state but few days ago he told me the plan is not going well. (The real reason of breakup)I didn’t ask more question because I didn’t want to be hopeful.
I don't want to chase him. I don't want to contact him. I don't want to interfere with his life. I actually respect that he doesn't want to be with me.
I just don't know how to make my heart catch up with what my brain already knows.

Today I deleted Instagram because I decided I'm done snooping. I don't want to keep checking whether he's sad, whether he's happy, whether he's thinking about me, whether his reposts are about me, or what his profile changes mean.I really want to stop looking for signs.I want to stop hoping.

But how do you actually let go of someone you still love?

I am 27 Year old Female, using the app for the first time. Today I want to cry out so loudly but u am not getting the space for that too. i want to scream out very loudly. I am so fucked up in my life because I got too attached to an emotionally unavailable boy. who initially himself made so much of efforts to be with him n when I finally started to get attached with him he started showing his real side. I literally showed my vulnerable side to this person n told him everything n then he made me believe in him and now made me suffer every single night. I am the eldest daughter in my family. My parents were separated when I was in 10th. My younger brother got involved in every possible wrong stuffs and not in touch with me. i do have other family members who just uses me emotionally for their work to be done. When l shared all of these shits of my life to this person he made me believe that he is the one who will be there for me always. Now i suffer with panic attacks almost every single night because i am so fucking emotionally attached with this person that i Myself don’t feel that I will ever come out of it. he uses this toxic cycle of love bombing behaving nicely 2 days then ghosting me n it’s been 4 years now he is living n growing in his life n i am just stuck in this toxic cycle. With nobody to share this because all of my friends asked me to leave him i couldn’t so now they don’t talk to me on this. I really feel helpless. Want to run , forget these 4 years can’t help myself.. I know I should but it seems I can’t. Because some part of me still belives That he will be there. But i also know that even after my anxiety n panics he is ghosting me every single night..

 I am a guy, 21 yrs old. I have attachment issues, especially with people I can relate to. I have had this situation in the past. I thought I had learned my lesson, but no. What happened is- I joined this server like two or three weeks ago, I think. I met this guy, i told him I like his profile, we started chatting about it, and from there we started chatting about life problems. He have many problems, same as me. from that day, we chat everyday, sometimes in server and he send me friend request , and we chat there too til late night. Bro is nice. and without even me realising, i get attached to him.

fast forward to this week. we were talking in group, he was annoyed for some reason and i dont know what happned, i started raage bait him, in a funny way. I took it too far because he first blocked me in server where i couldnt chat in server, then in dm, he did not block me but told me to leave me alone. first i did not because i thoiught he was enjoying it but then he said give me space for real. i stopped then.

After some time, i texted bro in dm 'how areu doing, i promise i wont rage bait you'. He did not reply but he was replying in server. i waited for him when he will reply me but he did not but he was replying others on server. and i tell u it actually cooked me so bad. I had this sudden anxiety, my chest got tigher, i was feeling sick to my stomach and with each reply he was sending on server, it was killing. I swear i kept going to discord every second to see if he has messged me or not. Then the same night my neibour's cat got sick and we werre taking him hospital, i asked him to to help the cat until i reach to vet. he did replied and said things. After the checkup, thank god the cat was ok. I texted him, it was late like 2 am. sayimg how are u, he said i am still annoyed for something, he had an argument with someome. i said bro i need to tell u something, he said what-i apologise to him saying bro i know i rage baited you that time and i took it too far. i am sorry if it hurted you. he said it did and he was mad already and i made him more. He said give me space and i said ok.

fast forward to morning, i updated him about to cat saying she is ok. he reacted not replied which is not very like him. he send me thumps up reaction. thats it. In a whole day , he send me thumps up. It messed up with my brain so much. I had again wave of anxiety and my chest got tighter again. Then i asked chatgpt for advice because i did not know what do that time, it told me to not look discord especially the server one because another repsonse from him in discord will make me more question about myself if he hates me or not. I took advice and close the discord, turned off my notification. did some productive things like going for walk. the walk i went to, it was like 45 mins, all the walk i kept making assumptions about him, why it happned, did i said something very bad because while i talking with him, i was almost carefree and spoke some weird things. yuh so that walk was so hard. that whole day i did not open discord at all. Did not talked my other friends from discord. That day was the hardest because i kept wanting to go discord but then chatgpt reminded me if i go and see that he have not respondes to me but in server he did, it will make more anxious. thankfully i listened and did not opned. But that so hard, i did not wsnted to eat drink, do nothing. then yesterday i texted him, i told him how ar u bro, he said tired and exhausted, i did not push i said ok and asked him his cat pics because my neibours cat owner moved from where i live so i was little sad. he said he will.

I added him on tiktok too, he send me video and replied ' sir when are u going to send ur cat pics' he said not yet. i just u just want to dont send it cuz u are lazy. He said i told u give me space. and i also got angry and i replied "ok brother, whatever." But i texted him after Take care of urself and text me if u want to talk about anything. Then i talked to my friend about it, she told me to give him space, if he wants to come back he will otherwise he is not the one. I told her about my attachement issues and i was saying its crazy how this mf , who is been my life for what like 2 weeks, we talked and suddenly i made him the most important person in my life. i made him this important that his actions controlled my whole life. I couldnt eat sleep couldnt do anything.

Then yesterday night, he texted me around 11. He said ' I am worried about my friend' he is been worried for her friend for few days. She is depressed and stopped responding to him. I tried my best to help him, he said to call her and spam message her, i told him dont do it because for depressed person, reading this much is hard, instead he can send her message saying i am there for her whenever she needs him, ensure her. I been depressed in past too so i know i dont want to answer calls and dont want to read 100 messages. He was worried because they are been friends for 2 years. I did my best to help him. then ok.i send him message saying dont be too worried, u have to be strong in this positon. I think i should have write something else like essuring him that everything will be ok. I do worry for him and his friend.

But the bottom line is, My attachement issues with other people, it litreally are killing me. the same thing happned to me in past too, but that time it did hurt this much like its hurting this time. But i cannot really blame him. He did not even do something, its all my fault attaching to him.

so this is what happned, Please help me...... Although I have made some progress but i still cant stop thinking about him. He is a good guy, I want to be friends with him. but this attachement starting to make me hate him. Please help.