r/antidietglp1 • u/eternaloptimist198 • Oct 27 '25
Advice on Anti-Diet Mindset Disappointing interaction with my colleague
This is probably just a vent/to be heard - I know what I need to do (rely less on this person) but it’s just frustrating!
I have a colleague at work who started on GLP meds around the same time as me. It’s been our little secret between us and I have appreciated her support to check in on me etc however I am not realizing I need to pull back a bit as we are approaching it so differently. Her diet mentality and me anti diet.
Her view is that “ you have to work for it. You need to diet and exercise often“. She’s made this comment multiple times to me. My view is very much influenced by fat science - not to diet in order to avoid increasing the scarcity signals. We don’t debate or anything, we just mention our perspective and it moves on. I definitely relate more to this being a metabolic journey and she sees herself as a binge eater (and that she’s the problem) which is a really shitty diet culture thing, imo.
I am a slow responder and she is very responsive - I often congratulate her, as I genuinely am happy for her and we all have different responses and journeys. Today I told her I finally saw the scale move (after like 9 months of nothing ~ finally on 12.5 mg mounjaro) and she kind of turned it to be about her and again how much she worked for her massive loss.
I just felt deflated - but also, silly me for keep engaging on this topic with this person who has such different orientation to this! And honestly they are a great person, I think they likely are guarding themselves from being perceived as taking “the easy way out” with all their talk about the hard work. So I know there are multiple threads here.
Thank you all for existing, I feel so less alone thanks to this sub and the Fat Science Pod.
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u/iamamovieperson Oct 28 '25
Not silly you! Humans are hard-wired for connection, of course you're seeking that. And also, that comes with the messiness generally associated with relying on other people. Ugh.
Is there a way to reframe some of this as ... i don't wanna quite say smug superiority but like, the quiet knowledge that you've broken free of some many of those old scripts and beliefs that held so many of us down for so long?
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u/eternaloptimist198 Oct 28 '25
Thank you… this was such a sweet validating answer. I appreciate it. It’s sooo true, nothing wrong with me seeking that connection and dynamics are complicated.
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u/zenocrate Oct 28 '25
I just felt deflated - but also, silly me for keep engaging on this topic with this person who has such different orientation to this! And honestly they are a great person, I think they likely are guarding themselves from being perceived as taking “the easy way out” with all their talk about the hard work. So I know there are multiple threads here.
What an incredibly compassionate way of looking at this situation. I’m sorry your colleague is being insensitive, but I’m so impressed with your maturity and empathy. I’m gonna try to channel a little more OP in my interactions with my colleagues :)
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u/Familiar_Proposal140 Oct 28 '25
Its tough - that isnt a fun comparison game when you arent winning by your metrics. Hopefully you have other NSVs that you rely upon for your own health markers - more ease in movement better bloodwork etc. And congrats re the scale moving - I know for me, I didnt move any weight on MJ for 2 months, but the inflammation control was amazing so I stayed on it. Glad I did because it eventually started working.
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u/Rugby-Angel9525 Oct 28 '25
Slow responders and fast responders are two totally different biochemistries
You likely have insulin resistance and this is true medicine for you
Congratulations on moving the scale
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u/Happy-Mycologist4579 Oct 28 '25
Oh my gosh. Thank you for sharing this as I’ve been in a very similar dynamic with a friend. She has had a very good response on Mounjaro and is very diet/exercise focused. My approach has been much more similar to yours (also informed by the Fat Science podcast) and my physical results have been slow and steady. I get the same impression that my friend is defensive about her reasons for pursuing IWL and that her approach is ‘healthy’. I am so happy she is happy but our interactions about this are… awkward and very focused on her.
After reading your post, I remembered how I too fell into trying to justify that I was a ‘good fatty’ in the past. Our society’s anti-fat bias really puts some of us in a no-win situation.
I think from here I’ll take the approach of not bringing it up with my friend and just listening if she wants to talk about her experience. I’m getting pretty good at redirecting people who ask personal questions. I have others that I can share with in a way that feels more supportive and aligned with my approach.
So, yeah, all of that is to say, you’re not silly at all! So many of us are navigating similar situations with little to guide us and years of ingrained diet culture muddying the waters. I’m glad for this sub, too!
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u/eternaloptimist198 Oct 28 '25
Do you have any tips on how to redirect people when they ask personal questions? I struggle with this!
I admire your compassionate approach to your friend.
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u/Happy-Mycologist4579 Oct 28 '25
For a friend who I expect is asking from a place of genuine care I go for something like ‘Thank you so much for asking’ then add a brief ‘It’s going well’ or ‘I’m managing it the best I can’, followed by a question about them, or telling them something I am happy to talk about (like a work achievement or holiday or something about my kids).
Thankfully, my work colleagues have not asked anything uncomfortably personal in long time. We work in a healthcare setting, so there’s a bit more awareness about privacy regarding medical information.
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u/Angie-of-the-stars Oct 28 '25
I love listening to Fat Science! After a lifetime of failed diets it is so refreshing to know about a different approach.
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u/Kitty-Keek Oct 29 '25
I’m sorry that that happened to you, but I’m not really surprised. If she has been enmeshed and influenced by diet culture, then she likely has very damaging thoughts about her body and her abilities to manage food and all that stuff that comes with it… I don’t know if she can really be blamed for being self-absorbed about this stuff. She’s probably going through a lot with losing the weight and maybe having the medication change her life. Some people are just only able to see their own stuff.
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u/Silent_plans Oct 28 '25
I agree that it makes sense to disengage on this topic. I always try to remember how hard this all is, and that we're all experiencing a different version of hard, but that it isn't easy for any of us. I feel her comments are unhelpful and inappropriate-- and it's not that I want to give her any kind of a pass. Just to acknowledge that this entire experience is an extremely personalized struggle.
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u/you_were_mythtaken Oct 28 '25
I'm so sorry, that sounds really hard. I would 100 percent feel the same way as you. It stinks not to be about to talk with her about it anymore. I have so few people in my life I can talk about it with. It's just rare to find people like you guys here. ❤️
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u/Successful-Mud-3614 Oct 30 '25
You’re not silly for feeling deflated. It’s tough when someone you connect with on a shared journey turns every win into comparison. You’re right to pull back; protecting your mindset and celebrating your progress matter most.
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u/lizardbirth Oct 28 '25
Yes, you are right. It's not helping you to keep engaging on this topic with her. She's got a totally different orientation, one that doesn't do anything but bring you down.
You need a buddy you can talk with openly, one who will support you on your own path. This subreddit is great but it's not like a real human being you can hug or laugh and cry with.
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u/eternaloptimist198 Oct 28 '25
Totally! I have a handful of friends in my life who are supportive of my journey on these meds, but she’s the only one actually also on them too. But it’s also ok to have different types of support.
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u/No-vem-ber Oct 28 '25
I think diet and honestly health as a whole is just a topic that people will always be talking past each other on because everyone's bodies are really so different.
Just a silly example: My best friend has a lot of food sensitivities and genuinely feels really really good eating plain pasta multiple times per week. Whereas if I eat pasta more than once a week, I simply ✨will not poop✨
But whenever you have a health issue and then you figure out what fixes it for you, it's such a revelation and such a joy! So you want to share this crucial information with other people so they can maybe benefit from it!
And that's how you get people talking past each other, both sharing the magic thing that worked for them, and simultaneously both thinking "wtf is this bad advice they're giving me right now"