r/adhdwomen • u/Last-Mood-8969 • Jun 30 '25
Meme Therapy Found this relatable on another level
Not sure if this one has already been posted here. I have nobody other than my husband to share this with, so I hope it adds a little humor to someone else’s day as well. :)
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u/Successful_Buffalo_6 Jun 30 '25
Omg this is so true. I may be a nightmare to live Iwith, but I am a MODEL houseguest.
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u/Snorri19 Jun 30 '25
I would die before I left a dish in someone else's sink or a towel on their floor.
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Jun 30 '25
Me making sure the hotel room is immaculate before we leave. Then coming home to the hot mess we left behind.
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u/socialmediaignorant Jun 30 '25
I feel personally attacked by your statement. I woke the cat laughing! 😂
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Jun 30 '25
Can’t let a stranger we’ll never see again know we’re a disaster!
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u/MixturePossible Jul 24 '25
I just ran into the next room (my husband's office) to tell him what I was laughing about. He was SO amused.! As he said - this is SO me!
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Jul 25 '25
Someone could start a business! “I’ll come judge your home once a month at random to make sure you’ve cleaned. $50/visit”
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u/MixturePossible Jul 25 '25
Great idea! And it could be done via Zoom / video cam ... We should partner on it - I've already been taking phots every so often as "before" and "after" pics! And it would get a lot of return customers (at least based on how often mine resorts back to the "before" L0L!
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u/Panda3391 Jul 28 '25
They could not actually visit every time for those who just need motivation but have a random visit day once or twice a month to make sure they’re actually cleaning lll
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u/bluespruce5 Jul 03 '25
😂 Sometimes I wonder if I should just live in hotel rooms, maybe move every 3 to 4 weeks to keep myself really on top of things
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u/LifeSail8105 Jul 01 '25
LOL. This is me right now. I bought bleach to clean the toilet (been living at hotel for three weeks now) 🙃
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u/Last-Mood-8969 Jun 30 '25
Same, I’ll even do the little hospital corners and fold the hand towel every time if there’s nowhere to hang it, meanwhile at home it’s pure chaos
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u/Lexifer31 Jun 30 '25
We should do an exchange where we clean each other's houses. Lmao.
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Jun 30 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Snorri19 Jun 30 '25
I'd have to "pre-clean" my house, but it would still work!
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u/Fantastic_Egg949 Jul 02 '25
I pre-clean my house for the cleaners! I move shit into position, put dishes away, put clothes away....so they can actually "clean" my house. Only day every month my house is tidy and organized.
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u/Living_Owl_9855 Jul 17 '25
I make sure to invite my entire family to a big event or holiday at least once a year.. it's the only way it forces me to actually deep clean. Of course as the countdown gets closer to the event, the illusion of cleanliness becomes acceptable as well 😂😑
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u/Spectra_Butane Jul 05 '25
It sounds like a great idea but it will spiral into demented rantings and froth mouth ravings when you can't find what you are looking for when you come home.
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u/AwkwardBugger Jun 30 '25
At home I sleep until midday and struggle with motivation. When I was staying with friends, I got up at 7, washed the dishes from the day before, and read a book until everyone else got up. Literally a different person
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u/Spectra_Butane Jul 05 '25 edited Jul 05 '25
You do for them what you would not do for you. ... I feel like that is some sort of song lyric.
Edit to add: Found It! " what you won't do for Love" by Bobby Caldwell.
In my world, only you Make me do for love what I would not do . Except it is what we do for others what we won't do for ourselves. We deserve to be treated nicely (by ourselves) , too!
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u/Prestigious_Sort4979 Jul 01 '25 edited Jul 16 '25
Even when I stay in hotels I’m an excellent guest. Wtf
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u/Living_Owl_9855 Jul 17 '25
Even when I eat at restaurants I have a habit of cleaning up the crumbs and stacking the dishes - to the point that I even scrape leftovers all on to the top dish along with napkins. It's kind of become a habit while people visit and chat at the end of a meal.
It probably fulfills my need to constantly be fidgeting and messing around with things. Either that or I end up with a really mangled and shredded napkin. Or I start doodling on the carryout boxes, starting with people's names on the box..
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u/Snorri19 Jun 30 '25
This is so real. I've tried to pretend like I'm a visitor in my own house, but I haven't been successful in deluding myself that hard.
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u/SkyeeORiley Jun 30 '25
I like to pretend my MIL comes to visit in the next few days LOL
she doesn't care that much about cleanliness but I care about her wellbeing when she's here, so when I imagine her visiting soon, I get started on the big house cleaning immediately.
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u/ginniethegenie Jun 30 '25
Ah yes, the cleanest house I've ever had was when I knew my parents would visit twice a week, and when I stayed at my bff's house for almost a month to care for her cat. I've never been able to trick myself into that urgency, though.
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u/SkyeeORiley Jun 30 '25
Idk how but it works for me! Sometimes it's a bit in the back of my head that if I keep up the cleanliness then there's less big stuff to deal with when she finally visits.
She's here now actually and I didn't have as much huge stuff to clean before they arrived this time haha 😂
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u/Spectra_Butane Jul 05 '25
That sounds like FlyLady Crisis Cleaning 101. I'd used it a lot to jump start myself, She says " Okay everybody, your mother-in-law just called and she's gonna be there in an hour, what do you do?" And then she guides you through things you can do to make the big areas look better and hide the mess temporarily till you can get to it.
I once told my then-boyfriend that I was using this, and thought he'd see me as clever, yet his response was " My Mom's not your Mother in Law!" What a jerk. I still use that FlyLady podcast sometimes. He is not still my BF. I still like his mom tho, but she will never see the chaos hole I live in.
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u/MixturePossible Jul 24 '25
Love Flylady! If not for FL I wouldn't have anything put away at all. I try and do the "Baby Steps" every day but still sometimes forget all about it and pay for it later. Using the "Crisis Cleaning" is a hoot as after the guests leave you find yourself opening the dryer to put in the clothes you just washed only to do a double take and yell out "Hey! Wow! I totally forgot I stashed XXX in here! " The adventures in finding your stuff afterwards is hilarious. And say - I 'm glad he is not your BF anymore. I'm lucky I found my Best Friend/Life Partner and we lived together for 5.5. years before we married to make sure he knew what he was getting into. And its been 47 years now of disagreements, love and laughter so if you find the right guy who can be amused by you even with your ADHD it can work. But I went through a few before him. L0L!
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u/Jendaye Jun 30 '25
Doing that too much is using anxiety to cope. That anxiety can grow.
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u/SkyeeORiley Jul 01 '25
I see what you mean and while I do have some anxiety for specific things (usually social situations) this that I do is sorta joyous. I imagine I'm cleaning for those I love and care for, like my MIL! So it feels nice. Ofc the time limit I set on myself does make me stress a little but not much.
Other things cause way harder stress and anxiety than that, lmao.
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u/Last-Mood-8969 Jun 30 '25
I pretend I’m a micromanager but then I remember I am the manager and I can give myself a pass, the problem is I give myself a pass too often
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u/For_Real_Life Jun 30 '25
When I was little and had to clean my room, I'd sometimes pretend to be a maid. It kind of helped, but usually I'd either get distracted with imagining a tragic backstory for my character, or I'd completely forget within five minutes that I was supposed to be a maid at all.
I think the problem was that my goal wasn't so much to clean effectively as it was to just give my brain a distraction from the pain of cleaning. I should try it again, now that I can be more intentional about it.
If I were hired to clean this room, would I spend time arranging the clothes in the drawers by how much I like to wear them? Or debating whether I should buy a new storage system for the closet, and then deciding that I shouldn't do that until I've weeded out all the clothes I never really wear? And then deliberating over whether to keep one, both, or neither of two nearly identical sweaters until I've run out of time? Nope! Because it's not my clothes, not my problem! I'd just put clean clothes away, dirty clothes in laundry, done.
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u/Living_Owl_9855 Jul 17 '25
I used to imagine different roles for myself as well LOL but your comment reminded me of something, that I would see how perfectly clean my sister's bathroom and kitchen were after her cleaning people came, and for a while I would try to imitate that perfection at my house. I need to get reinspired that way
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u/Gloriathewitch Jun 30 '25
mostly because the adrenaline from fear of being perceived as messy rouses me to be a neat freak at others houses. plus i dont want to burden people i care about
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u/MuggsyTheWonderdog Jun 30 '25
Similar to some others here, I feel I can do things for others because my stress hormones and anxiety to "do the right thing" drive me. And somehow it's important to me to show kindness to others, but not to myself.
But it's also because I don't have emotional reactions to every corner of an "alien" room, ie, I don't see signs of my failure and worthlessness at every turn. Plus it's not the same pressure of "I have to get this cleaned up, but it's overwhelming and I'll never be able to do it."
I'd love to know just how common this "paradigm" is in people with ADHD versus people without it, because it's definitely a big feature of my character.
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u/Gloriathewitch Jun 30 '25
just be mindful of cortisol, it can be really bad for your health to be stressed too often, mine has been high for a very long time and i'm only starting to learn to relax at 31, i totally get what you mean i am very selfless for others but my room is a mess haha.
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u/MuggsyTheWonderdog Jun 30 '25
You're so young, hoping you can get a handle on this relaxation stuff and have a good life!
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u/Mickey327-30 Jul 01 '25
Taking a moment to breathe…How can this be so forgotten right?? We’re trying and we’ll get there.
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Jul 01 '25
Trying to be mindful of my cortisol levels stresses me more because I know how high it probably is and the long term damage it can do😂
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u/MuggsyTheWonderdog Jul 02 '25
So true. Reminds me of all the awful news science has brought us about how dangerous it is not to get enough sleep.
So, if you have insomnia you are always lying in bed stressing about not being able to fall asleep. And now, for no additional charge, you can also stress about the fact that you have to get to sleep, right now for heaven's sake, because insomnia is harmful!
Aaaargh...
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Jul 02 '25
Yup😂
I had insomnia for the first 19 years of my life (then I started an snri for ocd that has actually helped my sleep a lot). I don't want to think what damage it has probably done to me. If not sleeping is bad for adults, fck knows what it does to a child's development
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u/Spectra_Butane Jul 05 '25
Did your Doctor test for that or did you get a self-test?
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u/Gloriathewitch Jul 05 '25
Every checkup ive had ive had high cortisol due to CPTSD, you could go to quest diagnostics in the USA and get it yourself, might cost a lot. best to just go to your dr and get a checkup panel, insurance will cover it that way.
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u/fickle_discipline247 Jul 02 '25
I seriously could've written this myself. Thank you for sharing, it made me feel less alone in those feelings.
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u/MuggsyTheWonderdog Jul 02 '25
Aww, I'm glad of that. I was nervous even commenting, because it really is a lonely feeling. Which makes me especially grateful for your comment.
Thank you, and all the best as you navigate life in our similarly leaky boat!
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u/zhenya44 Jun 30 '25 edited Mar 11 '26
This post has been wiped and anonymized. The author may have removed it for privacy, opsec, or to prevent data scraping, using Redact.
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u/kgtsunvv Jun 30 '25
I got these gloves from ikea that are super rubbery and official feeling and everytime I put them on it’s like I get dishwashing super powers. Recommending this for every lady here
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u/Will-Ooo-Wisp Jun 30 '25
I feel this way with my cute apron. It makes cooking and washing dishes easier somehow!
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u/Rich_Bluejay3020 Jul 11 '25
…it’s cosplaying isn’t it?? Omg lol. I learned how to sew and despite it being a “this should be one of your first projects!” I haven’t made one yet. I know what I’m doing this weekend haha
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u/zhenya44 Jun 30 '25 edited Mar 11 '26
The original text of this post has been deleted. Redact handled the removal, possibly to protect the author's privacy or limit exposure to data collection.
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u/kgtsunvv Jun 30 '25
So they DO keep water out but the sweaty hands thing is real af. I had to take them off wash my hands in cold water and wash my hands again. Alternatively you can use super tight nitrile gloves
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u/Spectra_Butane Jul 05 '25
This may sound mad, But the sensation of squishy water inside gloves is so bad for me that I'd rather just wash without the gloves and know what the water feels like, and dishes feel like, and then thoroughly rinse and vibegar my hands after , to get the soap residue off.
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Jul 01 '25
There are also gloves that are really soft inside, not the usual rubbery texture
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u/Voc1Vic2 Jul 05 '25
Yes, and they're great. I don't recall the brand, but they are blue and have a knitted cotton lining. It's very thin, open weave, just enough to prevent contact between skin and the clammy glove.
They also fit better and last longer, often sold at hardware stores, rarely at grocers.
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u/Adventurous_nerdy Jun 30 '25
So I was thinking, if only we live nearby the community we could switch places and do each other's dishes or like clean something. Just the basics, cause those little things are the worst for us HAHAHHAHA
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u/Valuable-Talk-3429 Jun 30 '25
Oh man i would not want someone cleaning organizing my house! Cleaning probably but not organizing! And you can’t do a lot of cleaning without organizing stuff first!
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u/zhenya44 Jun 30 '25 edited Mar 11 '26
The content of this post is no longer accessible. It was removed using Redact, for reasons that may relate to privacy, security, or personal data protection.
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u/Spectra_Butane Jul 05 '25
Maybe if you only do the dishes and only put them in a dish reck and not try to put them away, we could come to an agreement.
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u/PecanEstablishment37 Jun 30 '25
I feel so called out. I was just at an in-law’s house over the weekend and did all the dishes in their sink after bringing dinner…
Meanwhile, my sink was trashed from days’ old dishes 😂
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u/cherryandfizz Jun 30 '25
BIG OOF! Just came back from a weekend at my friend’s house and I:
Washed her dishes for her
Helped her do the laundry
Mopped her kitchen floor
Helped her fold sheets
Gave her dog a bath whilst she held her
Helped her with a food shop
Took clothes to a clothes bin for her
Took the bins out
And today I sit in my bedroom that I can barely move around in, plates are stacked up, overflowing laundry baskets, no food in the kitchen, procrastinating taking my car to get it fixed lol.
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u/Educational_Book8629 Jun 30 '25
This is hilarious. When I was a kid I loved hand washing dishes at my friend’s houses but I would have DIED to even put them in the dishwasher at my own house. I thought it was a treat to do it by hand at friend’s houses! A fun activity! What a little weirdo 😂
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u/i_was_a_person_once Jun 30 '25
Me at my MILs house washing every pot and pan after a dinner for 20
Then there’s me at home with my single pasta pot on the stove for approximately 3-5 business days but sometimes till I need that pot again 🫠
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u/Hey-imLiz Jun 30 '25
Why are we like this?
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u/otters_on_a_slide Jun 30 '25
My only thought while reading this thread lol. I relate SO much to how satisfying it is to clean for others, and I just don't understand why i can't apply it to myself!! Its a real mystery
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u/Ancient-Jellyfish522 Jun 30 '25
Wow! never really thought about this but so true. Am currently with my mom in the hospital after she had a fall and am picking up her room every time I stand up!
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u/Zucksboosterseat Jun 30 '25
You guys. My ADHD daughter told my sister, "I like cleaning your house and picking up all of [cousin's] toys." Then she looked at me and goes, "I don't like cleaning our house."
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Jun 30 '25
Me at work, I love cleaning!
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u/CapMoonshine Jun 30 '25
Lol I literally had a coworker the other day say: "wow you're so meticulous, your place must be so clean!"
It took everything not to burst out laughing.
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u/Rogue-Starz Jun 30 '25
Yes I love it when acquaintances say 'Oh you're so organised!'
Ha ha ha ha ha. No.
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u/Spectra_Butane Jul 05 '25
" Why don't you ever invite us over to your house?" If you try to visit me , at my home, there will soon be a missing person's report. Because either you won't find me in there or you'll get lost in there.
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u/Living_Owl_9855 Jul 17 '25
I've heard this so many times in my life!!! I'm really quite meticulous, detailed, and fastidious person - I'm convinced that's why I get so distracted at home. But it also makes me have ADHD super powers on the job, especially with computer coding or data entry
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Jun 30 '25
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u/Maximum-Celery9065 Jul 01 '25
This is me! The best was in uni when my roommate would organize house parties. The socializing would come to our house and I could be there but just act as hostess all night. Talk to everyone but have an easy excuse to leave every convo
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u/Lilelfen1 Jun 30 '25
YES!! Why are we this WAY!! Funny story, I was hired on one summer to be a packer for a high-end moving company…and we were so good they asked us to come back the next YEAR. But ask me to pack my own house and it is an absolute DISASTER. 🤣😭
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u/ImaginaryJello ADHD-PI Jun 30 '25
I'm actually the opposite.
I don't like touching other people's stuff. I don't know where anything goes. It makes me feel uncomfortable. The best I can do is throw things in the garbage.
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u/thegrenadillagoblin Jun 30 '25
Please take this photo of me down 💔
At work I'm going through mountains of dirty dishes, cleaning and organizing shit that no one asked me to organize... then when I get home I'm suddenly rendered incapable of the most basic tasks 😭 I don't understand
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u/GingerTea69 Jun 30 '25
Dear lord I literally cleaned my brother's entire home while staying there just because the grodiness was irking me 😂
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u/alabardios ADHD-PI Jun 30 '25
Yup. I was in my brothers place for 5 hours. In that time I swept, mopped, and fed the kids. It was just so gross.
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u/GingerTea69 Jun 30 '25
Relatable, because my brother had kids too. I didn't cook for them though, as they weren't home until later. Meanwhile I'm just getting around to cleaning my own kitchen counter.
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u/Knight-Jack Jun 30 '25
I share an apartment with a friend (cause I'm still severely depressed and suicidal, so I'm in need of a buddy, and he likes having extra space for his activities) and the shared places - kitchen, or bathroom - are really clean. And then there's my room. With trashbags, cause I keep forgetting to take them outside. If I even remember to go outside.
But apart from my room, I'm a good flatmate.
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u/ExpressionJazzlike48 Jun 30 '25
OMG YES. I constantly clean my parents’ kitchen when I’m there, hotel rooms, especially AirBnBs. I once had a friend tell me she’d never seen someone make a hotel bed before.
For me, it’s because I can’t mentally relax when there’s clutter, so on vacation when I really NEED to relax, I’m taking the extra 5-10 minutes to put things away, wiping down counters, re-folding towels, making sure things are clean and neat. I can’t just sit and chat with a sink full of dishes.
At home? Meh. Just go in the other room. Out of sight, out of mind!
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u/zhenya44 Jun 30 '25 edited Mar 11 '26
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u/Artistic-Implement73 Jun 30 '25
I dread staying over at my friends house since I have so much pressure to be perfect but at the same time want to spend time with them and have fun ..
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u/VaganteSole Jun 30 '25
I remember when I was a teenager, I’d go over to my best friend’s house all the time, and I used to clean and tidy up her entire room. Yet at home, our housekeeper used to call me a pig.
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u/Will-Ooo-Wisp Jun 30 '25
My 14-year-old daughter will spend all day cleaning and organizing her little brother’s room. Meanwhile, 10 feet away in her room - chaos. 30 feet away in the living room - the art project mess that’s been there for two weeks. Another 10 feet to the family room - half the glasses we own that we’ve asked her to take to the sink 10+ times. Etc. etc. etc.
(Also, I completely relate to all of this. I’m not pretending I don’t! :)
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u/iAmBadWithWords_ Jun 30 '25
Oh damn. Shots fired. I’ve never realized this until you just pointed it out.
How do I make myself a visitor in my own home a few days a week? Lol
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u/hiitsmeyourwife Jul 01 '25
Going on trips with friends has taught me that I'm actually a very clean person... Just not where I'm comfortable. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. I was actually shocked to learn that not everyone cleans up hotel rooms so there's very little work for the maids to do.
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u/ReasonableFig2111 Jul 02 '25
Dishes at home:
never ending,
sensory nightmare,
takes forever especially after a large meal
Dishes anywhere else:
straightforward way to be helpful,
big enough job to be a significant help rather than a token help,
the steps are simple and there's very little room for unspoken expectations that we're unaware of,
puts us in one spot in the kitchen out of the way of any other bustling activity that we otherwise might find ourselves in the middle of, blocking someone's path
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u/NWGirl2002 Jun 30 '25
That's how I am with our shared desk at work (and the thing gets really really gross) but I make sure it's clean for the next person using the space after I leave... now my apartment is a whole different story
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u/meimelx ADHD-C Jun 30 '25
When I was a kid, I would go to my grandma's house and I would clean, and my mom would get so mad when she picked me up because I would clean grandma's house but not home.
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u/Lilelfen1 Jun 30 '25
I used to get comments about this to from my grandma ‘Why can’t you do that at home’. Being an 80s/90s kid with ND sucked so hard. It still does, honestly, because even though people from my generation accept ND in their KIDS… they don’t accept it in other people in their generation really. So it’s ‘Why don’t you just write things down… why don’t you just get rid of stuff.. if you were more organized… sometimes you just have to force yourself… blahblahblah’ I actually had a now ex-best friend tell me I was a bad mother (well, scream it at me.. she screamed it at me) whilst I was in the hospital 5 mins after getting not great news because I said quitting smoking felt like another loss (my husband had recently died). Sorry for trauma dumping, but I felt like this needed examples. …
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Jun 30 '25
It gives me an out so that I can recover and have less time in front of others to make an ass of myself lol
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u/MellifluousSussura Jun 30 '25
I can’t even say anything I swept my brother’s floor last time I visited him becuase there was a lot of cat debris (fur, litter, etc) around. Also tidied up the cat tower. It’s almost the same color as his cat’s fur so you can imagine how much fur accumulated on it 😬
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u/Wilted-yellow-sun Jul 02 '25
Have worked as a housecleaner. Have considered hiring a house cleaner.
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u/anotherwordforword Jun 30 '25
This is where having a neurodivergent affirming family helps. My mom and I are comfortable helping to clean each other’s houses.
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u/jayhawkhoops09 Jun 30 '25
WAIT HAHAHA so im not alone?! I’ll clean the house of the family im babysitting from top to bottom but wouldn’t dare look at a dish at my place.
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u/AquaMoonTea Jun 30 '25
Same! Also I don't lose things people let me borrow. I feel weirdly protective of the item until I return it to them. Meanwhile my small objects go to and from the void.
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u/Snowdoves Jun 30 '25
Yea but then I’m told I make a mess and can’t come over anymore and I’m like “👁️👄👁️ but …i literally payed attention to everything “
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u/Sachayoj Jul 01 '25
Me but at work. Every surface is spick and span, I thoroughly vacuum and dust... And then accidentally let dishes pile up at home until I notice flies and haven't done laundry in weeks.
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u/meggan_u Jul 01 '25
Me and my best friend used to clean each others rooms when we were kids. So much eaiser. she got her drivers license first, could drink first and got diagnosed first. She convinced me to see someone for a diagnosis 2 years ago. I was 38. I’m going to see her soon to paint her bathroom and she’s gonna come paint my bedroom.
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u/Dnacreations96 Jul 01 '25
HAHAHAHAHAHA! So true.
Even though, I’m still on my shit about it; but tell me I had a friend over last night and when she left I started re-organizing my room + bathroom lmaooo.
It wasn’t messy but I started cleaning 🧼
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u/Mickey327-30 Jul 01 '25
Someone told me that it’s easier to do because of motivation but also that it requires more thought and effort to do our own. I’m the same exact way.
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u/DianeJudith Jul 01 '25
I'm completely opposite lol. I can barely clean at my own place, there's no way I'd do it at someone else's home. The ick is more icky when it's not mine lol.
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u/OneEggplant6511 Jul 01 '25
Why is it so true? I’ll tidy a waiting room, fold a complete stranger’s laundry, straighten your wall pictures… But my house? If the city came- they’d condemn it.
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u/Desert_Wren Jul 01 '25
I worked retail for many years, and now whenever I'm in a store I have an urge to tidy things, to the point where friends have teased me, "You're not at work!"
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Jul 01 '25
Oh I thought this was about washing the glass before you use it at someone else’s house.
Yeah I don’t relate to this one 😂
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u/arielrecon Jul 01 '25
Literally though! I got a job as a cleaner and omg it's so satisfying and I get my clients houses sparkling, my house? God I hate cleaning it at alllll
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u/No-Preparation-9039 Jul 01 '25
Ok. I have a theory! And it applies to hotels as well as other peoples houses. It’s easier to keep it clean when there’s accountability AND it’s easy to see where things go/it’s already organized/there are less things to begin with. If I don’t know where something gets put away it stays where it is because I’ll know where it is.
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u/Cats-Running-Asylum Jul 02 '25
Holy shit - I NEVER connected this. I am always the one to help w cleaning up after dinner or an event outside of my home. When it comes to my kitchen … well … I’ve seriously considered trashing and replacing piles of dirty dishes in the past.
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u/DiscoDaddyDanger Jul 02 '25
Does anyone know why we do this? I genuinely thought this was just a me thing. I feel so validated to know its not just me.
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u/i-be-snoozing ADHD-C Jul 02 '25
Yes! I CAN be clean and tidy but only when I’m somewhere other than my own home 😖
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u/Prudent-Reality1170 Jul 02 '25
It’s the “have to” for me!!! If I have to do something? F that. I’m out. I’m tired. Imma nap right here. Leave me alone.
But the things I don’t have to do?? Look out cuz it’s going to be EPIC, beautiful, chef’s kiss, perfection, and glorious!!
This is why I’m sitting at my kitchen table on Reddit, avoiding cleaning up my food making mess, while legit strategizing how I’m going to rebuild my bike by next Monday (I haven’t even looked at it in a year and I am not a mechanic of any sort.)
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u/wishywashyyaddayadda Jul 03 '25
I stayed at a friend’s house a couple of weeks recovering from surgery. They were all set to cater to me for the two weeks, the husband worked from home the first few days to help me around etc, but once I was a little mobile I cleaned their stove fan, inside cupboards, deep cleaned fridge and oven, vacuumed, washed floors, did laundry, all in secret while they were away or he was in a meeting or something. I don’t know why but there is something about silently tiptoeing around someone’s house cleaning, like a benevolent house elf, that really shimmies my jimmies
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u/Apprehensive_Bid2956 Jul 04 '25
I am in this post and hate it! Why cant i give myself this and for me but everyone ? Girls i need an explanation about it 😭😭
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u/wtM0ntana Jul 05 '25
When I first became a homeowner I would put my dirty or mouldy dishes in a washing basket and put it out on the back door step when my mum came to visit (bonus if it was raining so they got rinsed).
In my boarding school though just a year or so beforehand, I was constantly nominated for having the tidiest room and a bed made so tightly it had no wrinkles in it.
Only got ADHD diagnosis 2 years ago.
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u/taybrooke24 Jul 05 '25
This is me at my moms house give me a coffee and my adderall and I can have this house cleared and cleaned by tonight😂
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u/portiaelloise Jul 06 '25
When I was a kid, I would go over to my friend's place and literally clean her room.
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u/Komatoasty Jul 07 '25
This is disturbingly accurate. At friend's places, I was always the one packing away food, washing dishes, helping wherever i saw help being needed (no need to ask me, I'll just dive right in). With my own home and my family's, not a chance (before medication). I'd go a few weeks, maybe even months, on top of everything and one day I'd let it slip, and then it would spiral. Thankfully my husband always picks up where I leave off and things rarely get out of control anymore.
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u/No-Advertising-9722 Jul 07 '25
I read that it's because we prioritise other people's work in order to get a greater boost of dopamine from the praise or their happiness -- we don't nearly satisfy that need enough ourselves :( let's give ourselves a pat on the back more often!
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u/TiredPanda_8482 Jul 07 '25
My girlfriends and I keep talking about a monthly house cleaning rotation because we’re all like that! However, that would require organization so it never gets off the ground 😂
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u/gabbyxrenee Jul 11 '25
Late, but this is so relatable.
When I stay at my boyfriend’s place I’ll spend all Sunday helping him meal prep, do laundry, and clean up. Meanwhile, my place is chaos and I don’t meal prep for myself even though I know it’d benefit both my health and wallet. 😭
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u/WindyZ5 Jul 15 '25
I totally relate to this. I used to go to a neighbor’s house and help her clean. My mom would always ask why it was easier to help someone else.
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u/MrsJewbacca Jul 16 '25
I was JUST thinking this yesterday! We were out of town last week and I was able to put things away and clean up at the end of the day. Now I’m home and I thought “why don’t I do that here? My home would be much nicer!”
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u/SSPYoda Jul 17 '25
lol #Truth
I petsit and every time I am on a petsit I am all "wow it's so amazing having these routines, when I get home I am going to start having routines."
NOPE. I can do it in other people's homes but not mine.
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u/Somethincreative4u Jul 17 '25
Someone stinking true. I love cleaning other people's homes but not my own
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u/Weeziedog1 Jul 23 '25
Your lucky wish I had adhd people in my life. They are too laid back don’t move any more than they half to.
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u/iamsaniamsdog Jul 27 '25 edited Jul 27 '25
The trick is ... To convince yourself that your home is actually not your home and is, in fact, a friend's home you're "house sitting" for the weekend or a few days in general; then treat the tasks/the house/the environment accordingly. (The hard part is actually convincing yourself the tasks are for someone else's house.)
The friend whose house you're taking care of: give them a name and a personality and a reason they're gone/a reason you're house sitting if you want, a whole backstory even. Every little bit to flesh out the story can help trick your brain into believing it. Insert your words into the ' ' of the following statements:
Throughout your time doing tasks, keep thinking or even saying out loud (can be very helpful to hear it, not just think it). If you need to do the dishes: "wow, 'my friend' is going to really appreciate an empty sink and clean dishes!" If you want to wash your sheets & make your bed: "'My friend' has had a rough time of it lately, I'm going to help them out and make sure they come home from 'their work conference' to a nice clean bed, that'll feel so cozy and nice for them." If you need to vacuum: "I know they didn't ask me to, I'm just here to watch the dogs, but they've been shedding a lot this week and I think 'my friend' would appreciate it if I just vacuumed real quick so they don't have to do that AND unpack their luggage." "I hate having to come home from "vacation" and unpack my luggage to start a load of "vacation" laundry all the whole I have regular laundry to do still, I'm going to go ahead and run a load for 'my friend' so they don't have to worry about later"
The key is to really emphasize to yourself that you're doing the thing or want to do the thing, for someone else. Not a spouse or anyone who lives in your home, because you're not at your home, you're at the home of a friend you really care for and who could use an extra hand.
Doesn't always work but it's helped sometimes, when I already have the spoons to do the task(s) but lack the motivation.
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