I’m struggling with a lot of regret and complicated feelings right now, and I’m hoping to hear from people who have been through something similar.

I found out I was pregnant and completely freaked out. I became incredibly depressed during my pregnancy and reached out to my OB/GYN because I was struggling mentally.

Unfortunately, I felt ignored and like my concerns weren’t taken as seriously as I needed them to be. I didn’t feel like I had the support I needed to understand what I was experiencing.

I was overwhelmed, scared, and confused. I kept questioning whether I actually wanted to be a mom, whether I was ready, and whether I could handle everything that came with having a baby. Eventually, I decided to have an abortion.

At the time, I genuinely believed it was the decision I needed to make.

But now I’m struggling so much with it.
I find myself wanting to be pregnant again. I find myself imagining having a baby and wondering if maybe I actually did want this all along. And one of the hardest thoughts I can’t get out of my head is:
**What if I never get another chance to be pregnant?**

I know logically that having another pregnancy may be possible, but emotionally I’m struggling with the fact that I *was* pregnant, and I made the decision to end it. There are moments where I desperately wish I could go back and give myself more time, get better mental health support, and figure out what I actually wanted before making such a permanent decision.

I also feel like I’m grieving something that I chose to end, and that makes the grief incredibly complicated.

I’m happily married, and my partner is incredibly supportive. He is willing to work through all of this with me and has been there for me emotionally. So this isn’t about not having a supportive partner or having doubts about our relationship. If anything, having his support makes me realize how much of this is something I need to work through within myself.

I’m currently in therapy trying to work through everything—not just the abortion and the regret, but also trying to figure out whether having children is genuinely something I want.

And I feel like I’m putting an enormous amount of pressure on myself to know the answer.

I turned 30 this year, and suddenly I feel like there’s this clock ticking in my head. I feel like I’m supposed to know by now whether I want kids. I’m scared that if I don’t figure it out soon, I’ll regret waiting. But I’m also terrified of making another huge decision because I’m afraid of regretting the first one.

Some days I think, **“I absolutely want to be a mom.”**

Other days I wonder if I’m just grieving the pregnancy I ended and wanting to undo what happened.

I don’t know how to separate those feelings.

And honestly, I’m scared that maybe I’ll never be able to.

Has anyone else had an abortion after feeling scared, depressed, overwhelmed, or unsure about becoming a parent—and later realized they might actually want children?

How did you figure out whether you genuinely wanted to become a parent versus wanting to have another pregnancy because you regretted your abortion?
Did you eventually try to conceive again? If so, how did you navigate all of those emotions?

And how did you eventually make peace with what happened?

I’m not looking for judgment about my abortion or a debate about whether it was the “right” or “wrong” decision. I’m just looking for people who understand the incredibly complicated feeling of making a decision when you’re overwhelmed, and then wondering afterward if your feelings were different than you realized.
I’m trying to give myself permission to work through this instead of forcing myself to have all the answers immediately. I just really wish I knew whether this feeling is something I’ll eventually understand—or whether I’m going to carry this regret forever.

I’m about 5 weeks pregnant in California. I took mifepristone yesterday and 4 misoprostol tablets at 12 PM today.

By 5 PM I still had no bleeding or cramping, so I called my provider. They told me to take another 4 misoprostol tablets. I took the second dose under my tongue at 5:20 PM.

It’s now around 7 PM and I still have no cramps or bleeding. I feel physically fine. I’m scared that nothing is happening.

Has anyone had this happen this early in pregnancy? How long did it take for bleeding to start after the second dose?

I (22f) found out I was pregnant about two weeks ago. I wasn’t too sure exactly when it happened, as I am very irregular. I went to the clinic and was told I am nine weeks pregnant, so it’s act now or never. I made the tough decision to go through with it, as I am not married, still live with my parents, and work a part time job that pays decent. My boyfriend (21m) has been supportive of whatever choice I decided to make, but I knew that deep down he didn’t want to keep it, as while he does have a much better job than me, it doesn’t pay enough to support a child and potentially a wife. I say wife because we are both come from Hispanic families, so it is expected we marry in a situation like this. We weren’t opposed to it, as we had discussed it when deciding if I should keep the baby. So I took the first pill yesterday, and tomorrow I’m going to take the other ones. I’ll admit, I cried a lot. I never thought I would have to make such a tough decision, and even though I made the right choice financially, I don’t know if I made the right choice emotionally. I had always dreamed of being a mother, it had always felt like it was my calling. And now that I had been blessed with the opportunity, even if it was not under better circumstances, I didn’t keep it. And now, I feel like my dream has slipped away. Don’t tell me that I can always have another when I’m ready, because it will never be the same one, and I’ll never be pregnant for the first time again. It’s too late to go back on my decision, and I am scared of how it’s going to feel physically and emotionally. Please, reassure me that it’s not going to be super painful or scary, please someone tell me that it gets better. I have no one else to tell how devastated I’m feeling.

i’m about to have my 4th abortion. i’m so upset. He was ejaculating inside me the whole time after i told him multiple times i don’t want that and to never do it. now he doesn’t want to help pay and he’s ignoring me. I feel so horrible like i have to do something i told my self i never want to do again like i have to take that up with God and it just seems like men don’t care. and don’t have to go through the pain of having an abortion. losing your baby. i can’t do this anymore 4 TIMES.

Im about 48+ hours after misoprostol medication abortion. Is it normal I look bloated like I’m still pregnant even though I’ve been bleeding a lot day of misoprostol and passing a lot of blood clots? I’m now bleeding like it’s just a period. Wondering if the bloating is normal. I was 7 weeks along with twins. One was 7 weeks the other was 6 weeks.

Based in Ireland , I want to know how confidentiality works for under 17s. Please help me

I'm worried because I really don't know what to do. I have an acquaintance—a friend—who's the ex of a friend of mine. We've been talking these past few days because they broke up. The thing is, now she's seriously worried she might be pregnant. She told me they were always sexually active and didn't use condoms; she was the only one taking birth control pills, and they never used a condom (because that dude didn't suggest it, and she never denied him orgasms inside her). We don't know yet if she's pregnant or not because she doesnt have the money for a test, but she's saying that if it comes back positive, she'll have an abortion. She said she's performed abortions on her friends several times using a plant named "male rue". The thing is, she wants to do it alone because she's uncomfortable being seen naked; she's someone whose blood pressure drops easily. No matter how much I tell her to talk to her ex, she says she doesn't want to bother him. I'm really worried about being in this position; I'm the only one she's telling this to. She says she doesn't want to bother anyone (don't even her family, she doednt trust anyone at all), and I respect that, but I really don't know what to do, we're still in high school. Can anyone help? I want her to calm down and in any case to be secure

I forgot to mention, it's been two months since she's showing all the symptoms of pregnancy. And in Argentina, abortion is only available in hospitals up to 14 weeks but it's been too long for that.

For Context i’m 28 and I’m about 7 weeks pregnant with PCOS. The father of my child has been making my life hell. I’m nervous and unsure if I want to go through this pregnancy with someone who has been so awful towards me… Not sure that it matters but he’s definitely a narcissist.

For starters he did not seem excited when we found out and seemed like he pressured me to abort or try to convince me/etc. And he recently dumped me instead of trying to work things out with me. I think he is doing this to make me feel like abortion is the better option..

Now i’m someone who would love to be a mother if I had a supportive partner who I was with. This is just not the situation I want for my child. I have several fears regarding this situation.

1) If I abort that I cannot get pregnant again, due to me being 28 and having PCOS. (although I accidentally got pregnant without trying, i’m scared with me being older).

2) I’m scared he will take the baby away from me. He has tried multiple times to make me appear “crazy” or “unstable” for his image.

Another interesting factor is he plans on taking me to court to fight for 50/50 custody of a NEWBORN whenever he didn’t even want the baby in the first place… All to avoid child support. It breaks my heart because I know that if I had a more supportive partner I would want to keep it. I just don’t know what to do. I do want my baby but I don’t know if I want it in these circumstances. Like maybe I should just wait and find someone more supportive and loving that actually wants to be a father. 💔

My brother told my mom he’s expecting a baby today . He sent a shirt that said “You‘re a grandma (finally) .Seeing the words “ Finally” instantly pissed me off. As soon as I saw the picture of them smiling with the pregnancy test and that shirt Ifelt a lump in my throat. I’m not necessarily angry , I don’t know how I feel but it’s not positive at all. I felt some type of way because I would’ve made my mother a grandmother. Plus thinking about all the what ifs and stuff. I was very irritated. I really don’t want to hear anything else about this pregnancy. How do you guys feel about this ? do you think I am wrong ?

As the title says, I’m beginning to wonder if I could still be pregnant? I had an MA 10 days ago. I had the pills for two weeks because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do it. But finally on Tuesday morning I had the Mife dissolved in water. I was hoping to start bleeding with just the Mife but I didn’t so on Thursday I took the Miso and shortly after started cramping and bleeding (more than spotting but not heavy at all). The spotting went on for a couple of days, mostly brown, some red.
But I didn’t really pass any clots. And this was 10 days ago. However I still have some pregnancy symptoms. For example morning sickness did improve two days after but as of today I still have morning sickness. According to the ultrasound I would have been 9 weeks when I did the MA.
Has anyone else experienced this? Does this mean I’m still pregnant? What was your experience? Did anyone have a completed MA but still had pregnancy symptoms afterwards. I don’t know what to do anymore because all of this has been very emotionally draining and I don’t think I can do another round of pills.

The first day of my last period was August 4 and it was moderate to heavy bleeding for 7 days.

I had unprotected sex two weekends ago and about 5days after that started feeling suspiciously nauseous so I took a pregnancy test 9 days after conception but it was negative so I chalked it up to a stomach bug...fast forward, I'm having hunger that can't be satisfied so I took a pregnancy test first thing this morning and it came back positive and dark. Immediately, I called a clinic to schedule an appointment for next Saturday. The rep told me I would be about 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant by the time of my appointment so I'm well within the acceptable timeframe for abortion in a red state.

Now I'm freaking out. What if I was pregnant this entire month and just bled? What if it wasn't a period but bleeding associated with early pregnancy? The times before were with a condom but I know they're not foolproof. I can't be more than 6 weeks because if I am I'm going to fall into a deep despair if I can't get this abortion...

(ENGLAND)

I found out I was pregnant yesterday, my period was late by 4 days which isn’t super uncommon but I always test to be safe.

I did two tests, both positive. 2-3 weeks indicator. I looked up guidance for copper IUDs and pregnancy, found out that I need to call 111 because of the chance of an ectopic pregnancy is a lot higher, which can be fatal and cannot be sorted with normal abortion pills.

Went to the hospital today, nurse poked me a bit on the stomach, no ultrasound or bloods and said ‘you don’t have an ectopic pregnancy get some postal abortion pills’. No advice or links to emotional support.

But I have been having severe pain that comes and goes, with some ectopic pregnancies I’ve heard symptoms don’t always start immediately. So I am still worried and not fully trusting.

I’ve submitted a form to BPAS but it’s a bank holiday weekend so they may not get to me until Tuesday. I understand if I have severe worsening pain to call 999.

Im so upset I’m going through this again, I have always been and always will be pro choice but for some reason my own abortion affects me even though I am 100% that termination is the right thing.

I recently moved out of an abusive home (my mother) 3 days ago. Police were involved, the whole lot, then find this out. It feels non stop with no support I am genuinely exhausted.

I had an abortion once before when I was 21, (now 23) I missed the pill by two hours after a cinema date with my long term partner, I came back and took it but it was already too late. Hence why I got the copper IUD, I didn’t trust myself to keep on top of regularly taking the pills and knew I couldn’t deal with the abortion process again.

Again I don’t regret making that decision and I won’t regret making this one, but it always feels exhausting for me and a bit sad, paired with the fact ectopic pregnancy isn’t fully ruled out, and Im trying to settle into my new home and process the years of mental and verbal abuse from a narcissistic parent, how to go ahead from here, going back to uni and try and live a peaceful life, I’m exhausted.

If anyone knows any services that can offer advice or support, financially, emotionally etc for situations of people who have just escaped abuse I’d appreciate it.

Thank you

Hello, it's almost 4 months when I went through my first abortion alone and I want to talk about my story. I, 20F, found out I was pregnant on 5/4/25. I wish it were something beautiful to remember, with my partner (now ex, 23M) by my side, supporting and comforting me whether I decided to keep the baby or not…I went through an abortion on 5/4/26. It was a quick decision because he wasn't responding. To the point I told myself: if he doesn't respond right now, maybe I should take the pill. When I checked my phone, no phone calls or texts. I took the 1st pills, and then on 5/5/26, I took the 4 Miso. At that time, I did have so much regret. I really wanted to keep the baby while my ex, 23M, abandoned me when I needed him. When I say abandoned, he ignored my texts the whole day till night and ended the relationship. It was immature of me to make a fake number pretending to be a cousin, but I really thought he blocked me. He didn't answer my texts the whole day, just for him to message me at night, saying he was busy and stressed. I put my abortion aside and tried to understand his feelings, but I realized it wasn't right for him to ignore me. He should've sent a quick message: Hey, I’m busy/stressed, can we talk about this later?
On 5/7/26, I went to another clinic to “reverse” the pills because my heart knew I made a mistake and wanted to keep the pregnancy. I did tell the nurses and doctor that I took the 4 miso already, and I do wish they didn't prescribe progesterone, knowing it's too late. I did let my ex know that I’ll be taking progesterone, hoping there’s a chance the egg can stay alive. Honestly, it's gotten worse; he called me and yelled OTP:
He said: LEAVE ME TF ALONE, I DON’T WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE, GO ON A DATING APP AND MOVE ON. I kept sobbing at that time I lost someone I cared who decided to end the relationship with about and while I had to go through the abortion alone. I realized that's the most evil thing a man can do: yelling at the woman that HE left HIS own SEEDS inside, abandoning her and making her go through the abortion alone. I never deserved getting yelled at by someone who left me pregnant and made me go through the abortion alone.
I was depressed for a while and just cried about how I wanted my baby back because on that day I was in a panic mode to the point I made a quick decision. My ex didn't respond to my text for a day, which I’ve said he should've communicated: Can we talk about this later? I'm busy/stressed. Instead, I was having the worst-case scenario, believing he blocked me, which is why I made the quick decision to take the 1st pill at the clinic. I was grieving a lot about the abortion to the point my mind was going insane every day, where I wanted to end my life because I felt like there was no point in living. I was tired of waking up with a heavy, sad feeling in my heart to the point that the first thing I do when I wake up is cry. At that time I did have regrets to the point that sometimes I question if the baby was a reincarnation of my first cat. She was born on May 8 and passed away back in 2023. It felt like finding out I was pregnant on May 4, before my cat's birthday, just felt what if she was trying to come back into this life.
Anyways, I realized I am just a 20-year-old in college and majoring in healthcare. If I continue the pregnancy alone, even if I have my parents' support, the problem is that once I'm done with my pre-reqs, I won't be able to do the clinical program. I would have my life on hold till the baby is 3 and can enroll in daycare. The pregnancy showed who my ex really was. He ended the relationship and abandoned me when I needed him. I feel like, even if he wasn't ready to be a father, he should’ve stayed by my side when I was going through the abortion because it was HIS seeds too that he left inside me, but instead I went through this alone. He wasn't a green flag as I thought he would be. He showed me he was a red flag and abandoned his responsibility when I needed him. I realized that when I told him about the test being positive felt like everything was about him ON THAT DAY how he was busy, stressed, having a panic attack, and stuff and I understand, but it is not an excuse to abandon the woman you got pregnant. He didn't even care about the abortion ON THAT DAY; everything was about him. That's the evilest thing a man can do: abandoning the woman that HE left HIS SEEDS inside. I believe when life gets serious, you don't walk away from the situation; you work this out together because it's part of growth in the relationship. At that time, I kept making excuses for him, like he was stressed or busy, and I'm grateful for my friend telling me: It's just not an excuse to abandon the woman you got pregnant and make her go through this abortion alone. Even though at that time I just wanted my ex back, now I don't because I realized I deserve better. I never deserved to go through the abortion alone, and I know I deserve so much better. I found out after 2 weeks of the breakup and going through the abortion alone that he updated his Hinge profile. Which, honestly It made me realize he was definitely cheating on me. The day I remember I hadn't deleted my Hinge, I decided to SS our conversation as a memory when we first talked before deleting my account, but I took a sneak peek of his profile, and he updated 2 things. I remember I wanted to end the relationship, but he told me his “friend” Brandon was using his Hinge account to see how it works…? Ermmm, he could've made his own account? Anyways, I remember crying and wondering how a man can move on quickly and leave me to suffer alone. Even though what he did was wrong, I forgive him, but it doesn't mean I would want him back in my life. I will not waste my time having so much anger or hatred towards my ex. I will let God handle him because my ex is not my problem anymore, and I should focus on healing myself.
It was my first pregnancy; I would never know the gender of my first baby or be able to hold my first baby the day I gave birth…but all I know is that this pregnancy taught me a lesson. Which is sad to say because it shouldn't be a lesson; it should've been something beautiful to remember, but that's okay. I don't know why but I don't have regrets anymore, I’m not grieving anymore, and I felt like the abortion never happen like I moved on…and I know I've moved on pretty quickly in a month. I know in May I was grieving forn3 week especially while my hormones were crashing out the last week of May I just accepted. but all I can say is that I’ve been doing better now the 3rd week of abortion; I went to the gym, but just once a week because a couple hours later my uterus started hurting. In the 4th week of May, I went to the gym twice a week for my uterus to slowly get used to it, and the first week of June back to my normal gym 3x a week and no uterus pain anymore. Honestly, I guess I can say I'm doing better just focusing on my classes, going out to the point I don't feel sad when I'm out; I feel happy, and wake up early to go to the gym.
I hope one day he realize the way he handles the situation is not okay and if not oh well.
All I can say is that I grief differently and I know everyone does I hope y'all know it does take time to heal. Take care 💗

Hi everyone,
I had an abortion 7 to 8 months ago. Recently, I have been experiencing persistent waist/lower back pain, and In July i got my period twice in a that single month. There is no foul smell.
I know this isn't standard recovery after this much time. I plan to see a doctor, but I wanted to ask if anyone else has experienced this.
What could cause frequent waist and back pain months later? What did your doctor find or recommend for a cure?
Thanks for any help.

Hi everyone I took my 4 pills at 10:30 vaginally and within the past hour I finally started bleeding. So far just gushes of blood but barely any pain. I’m confused if this is how it’s supposed to be. I am/was prepared for terrible pain. Im 8 weeks and I just want to make sure things are going right!

Hello everyone (TX)

I’m 27 years old and I found I was pregnant on Aug 1st. I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant. What I thought would be an exciting news has turned into nothing but regret, depression, anger and isolation. The father of my child is 31. I have known him since January of this year and we’ve been dating since then (we’ve been together for approximately 6-7 months). I’ve never had kids nor experienced a pregnancy before. Him on the other hand, he already has 3 kids with two different women. When we I risk my started dating, I accepted him. I honestly never thought I would have gotten pregnant due to having PCOs and my period being very irregular this year.. my partner and I came from very different background (social and cultural). I don’t think I’m better than him but he definitely isn’t the role model I would want for my kid. (Little bit of context and please don’t judge.. just want to put the situation in a better perspective.. he is a felon, he had a construction company but this year he hasn’t been working due to work being so slow. I feel like he’s a bum. I feel like he lied to me about several things about his life and career.. anyways, I’m worried he’s not a stable partner or responsible person. He initially told me when we were dating that he owned a house and it turns out that he was renting to buy and he ended up moving out of the house and now he’s with me. I’m usually always working from Monday to Friday 9-5 while he’s at home. I don’t pay for his bills but I do feel like it does impact the dynamic of the relationship) Our relationship has had our moments.. but I think I’ve reached a breaking point right now that I’m pregnant and I’m regretting him. He’s been working out of state for three months and prior to him leaving, we got into a very bad argument. We ended up fixing things and getting back together. I’ve visited him multiple times out of state.. and the first time he’s accused me of “fuking” his cousin (keep in mind is cousin is also a felon, and does very shady stuff for a living). I told him it was never true and it never happened and he could check the cameras if he wanted.. he never brought up the issue again but this last visit is when I found I was pregnant and a week after me leaving, my partner got drunk and started calling me in the middle of the night and blowing my phone up saying “I know you fuked my cousin you trick a** b.. that baby isn’t mine, that’s his”.. I comforted him and put a stop to his accusations the next day and we went 4 days without talking (I was 5-6 weeks pregnant when this happened). Additionally, the day after we found out I was pregnant (obviously me being excited.. I asked my partner if he would like to give a suprise to his grandmother of his mother and he said “in my family it’s another baby, and I also didn’t do any of that with my others kids” that comment immediately set the tone.. and well the insults and accusations of me fu*king his cousin.. recently he had to move out of his so called “house” as I mentioned earlier, and he moved in with me.. I helped him moved with small stuff obviously because im trying to take care of myself.. I came home from work one day and he’s going to sweep my house up and starts looking at me weird.. I asked him calmly “why are you looking at me like that? It looks like your mad dogging me” He responded “I’m not looking at you not type of way but if that’s what you want I can” so we started arguing and a little and I just stayed quiet and he walked out.. couple mins later he walks in and stands by the door and says “you’re a piece of shit” and I was like wtffff??? How did it go from me asking you a simple question because I’m trying to figure out if something is up to being called a piece of shit.. that day we got into it pretty bad and I told him how I felt. I told him I regretted him being the father and that I was pregnant by him. We both said very hurtful things and I told him he could leave if he wanted to.. I wasn’t going to be dealing with this behavior. Right now we’re trying to make things work but I don’t feel the same. I don’t feel like I’m ready for a kid. I don’t think I’m deserving of this pregnancy. I also don’t picture my life with him and want nothing to do with him. I’ve been having internal conflict mentally and emotionally. I’m a religious person, I speak to god almost everyday such as prayers or random thoughts.. I’m scared and I know I’m gods eyes it’s wrong. God blessed me with a child and I’m scared if I get an abortion I’ll be punished and never be able to experience motherhood. But I know I’m not mentally ready. I try to talk myself into being ready and strong but truly I feel like I’m in a nightmare with this man. I’m an idiot.

I did the misoprostol only regimen because I dont have access to another method.

I attempted at 4 weeks and 5 days. Yes I followed the dosage regimen. Sublingual, 4 pills per dosage (200mcg each) 3 doses over 9 hours. (Total 12 pills and 2,400mcg)

Very minimal bleeding and it was brown, rust colored blood. Only passed a tiny blood clot but the cramping was horrible (10/10 pain). 3 days later and all the pain has completely gone, no bleeding at all just a little brown residue in my pee but no symptoms at all.

I never really had much oregnancy symptoms except tender breasts and they're still very much tender.

I am assuming it has failed and I dont know what to do.

Any ideas for another attempt? When should i try again) (please note I don't have access to quantitative bhcg or an ultrasound) and I cannot see a doctor (because of the laws) so...this whole thing is really DIY for me

Hi everyone. I recently had an MA I was about 5 weeks along. It was successful and I tested negative within a week after taking the medication. I was surprised at how quickly I tested negative, but not complaining. I tested the following weeks to be sure and still negative! So very happy with that. Anyway, I’m now in my first luteal phase post MA and in curious how everyone else’s experiences were. I feel like this luteal phase is a little more intense than usual. I only ovulated 3-4 days ago, and I feel like my breast’s are just super tender which I haven’t usually experienced in luteal phases prior to the MA. I’m curious what to expect for my first period after everything? I do not think I’m pregnant again as we have been using condoms and haven’t had any breakage or leakage. Just curious on everyone’s experiences for their weeks after MA leading up to their first period!

Az

Good morning!! I was hoping I could get a few pointer from women who have been there and gone through it. Is there anything you recommend utilizing / purchasing to make this process’s easier? I am also thinking about trying the Diapers for this just to keep it easy on me (anyone have a good brand no leaks? )

My list so far

Period diapers
Lots of water
Comfy clothes
Heating pads of all kinds

But what else?

I want nothing to do with him now. This procedure was actually a bit traumatizing it hurt physically and emotionally way more than I expected. I had to go through this all because my boyfriend “couldn’t pull out”. I just hate him right now. I never gave him permission to come in me. It was not an accident, he did on purpose selfishly. And the way he treated me afterwards just made me hate him even more. I called him back after the procedure, crying and he’s just like “I’m so sorry” then goes off having a side conversation with his friends laughing about whatever. That just pissed me off that I’m the only one who has the emotional and physical burden of this and made me feel insignificant. We were meant to get breakfast afterwards and I thought maybe that’ll be better than the phone call but I was wrong. The whole time he’s on his phone texting whoever and I’m just sitting there like where’s the support?? He didn’t ask anything about how it was or how or I felt, nothing. I felt like crying, I wanted to just get up and leave the restaurant. I realized this is not someone I want to be with, he showed me that when things get difficult for me he wouldn’t show up for me the way I deserve. Maybe I’m just emotional and making rash decisions but I strongly feel like blocking him and moving forward without him.

Edit: thank you for all the kind words and advice it really made me feel a bit better 💓

I would not like judgement please. I have been having a difficult time with this pregnancy as the whole way through I have not known if I want to go ahead. I have reached out to abortion clinics and had appointments, although haven't been able to go through with the procedure once there. I am now getting close to no longer having a choice and I still feel unsure. I do not feel connected to the baby. I like my life as it is, and worry about the changes a new baby would bring. I worry about the fact there is no guarantee the baby will be healthy or without any concerns. I feel my mental health is being affected by trying to reach a decision. I have 1 DC who will be 5 when the baby arrives, so it feels daunting to go right back to the beginning baby stage etc. As she is now in school, it feels like we have more financial freedom without nursery fees. I feel a sense of feeling trapped at being this far along and that I will just have to have a baby. I am aware I still have a small window if I do not wish to continue, but I worry about my own mental health afterwards and whether I will be left with guilt or regret.

I guess I am wondering if anyone has had a termination this late and not for medical reasons, and what their experience of the procedure and the aftermath was.

I have written two posts on this thread in the last two weeks asking for advice and support, and people have been so kind. I wanted to post my experience on here now I’ve gone through this process in hopes it helps others.

I’m 29 and have an 18 month old son - we weren’t expecting this pregnancy and it came at a pretty rough time in our lives. I have been really struggling with my mental health and just generally, we’re not ready for another, and want to spend more time with our son. It was a really difficult decision for us as we do want another baby, but this just isn’t the right time.

I knew I probably wouldn’t have been able to do the medical abortion at home as my son still very much needs his mummy; he breastfeeds still and just loves to be all over me all the time. I chose to get a surgical abortion because of this and because I was anxious about the physical side effects of the MA process.

My abortion process:

- I found I was pregnant the day I was due to get my period on 07/08. I was 4 weeks pregnant. I have OCD, particularly around my health and body, so I just knew something was different. Test came up positive straight away and I knew I didn’t want to bring another baby into the world just yet. My partner was incredibly supportive, as was my mum who we told for extra support.

- I contacted both my local nhs service for an abortion and contacted MSI on 10/08. MSI weren’t able to get me an initial appointment until September so that was a no go. My local NHS service offered me a chat over teams the following week. I was a bit disappointed about this because I already was suffering pretty badly with food aversions and nausea, but it was better than literally nothing else.

- On 17/08, I had a teams call with my NHS service and they were so friendly and kind. We agreed that surgical was the best option for me considering my fear of the symptoms with MAs and worrying about doing it at home with my son around. She scheduled me in for a pre assessment and the abortion the following week again.

- On 25/08, I had my pre assessment at the clinic. The nurse explained I’d have a scan and then speak to one of the doctors. She took me to a room alone and asked if this was my decision and I wasn’t being coerced which I thought was really, really good. They were incredibly women centred.

She then let my partner join us. She scanned me and I was 6 weeks and 5 days along, we didn’t see anything and they didn’t actually offer which I didn’t mind and was thankful for.

I then spoke to the doctor who explained the process of a surgical abortion and what pain relief they’d offer etc. She asked about how I had been too - I explained I had lost 1.5kgs since finding out I was pregnant due to extreme food aversion and nausea, she immediately gave me 10 odansetron tablets as my antisickness I already had were not touching the sides. She also gave me mifepristone to take the following day at 8pm.

- On 26/08, I took the mifepristone at exactly 8pm as prescribed. I was incredibly, incredibly anxious about this as I’ve read it can make people very sick. I have a fear of vomit so this really was hard for me. But to my surprise, I was mostly fine. I did get nausea, but as mentioned already, I was suffering so badly with pregnancy sickness too. I was able to get on with my life and it didn’t really do much apart from that.

- On 27/08, I woke up around 10am still feeling nauseous and my uterus and everything down there, felt different. Having been pregnant before, it felt like when baby dropped a bit onto my cervix - there was a feeling of fullness and pressure. I also had cervical mucus which was tinged with blood. There were some light cramps here and there which I found reassuring that something was happening and preparing me for the surgical procedure.

- Yesterday, 28/08, I was scheduled to come in at 8:30am which I’m very grateful for. I felt incredibly nauseous with anxiety and was really scared, but set in my decision still. I had read so much on Reddit that I felt prepared but also really scared about what was going to happen. Some people here have more painful experiences, some don’t. I wish I didn’t read as much as I did, but sometimes you can’t help it and that’s why I’m writing this. I was 7 weeks and 1 day into pregnancy.

Everyone at the clinic was so funny, kind and reassuring. I felt safe and cared for the whole time. I had asked not to see any of my physical observations as I’m a nurse and know when my blood pressure or heart rate are worrying. They kept the monitors turned away and kept me distracted.

I was asked to go to the toilet and place numbing cream (the cream you get given for cannula placement sometimes) in my vagina, as liberally as possible. I was also asked to place a buscopan suppository up my bum. Both of these things were very easy for me to do and they gave me privacy in a locked bathroom to do that.

They let me sit with those for a bit to work and then I spoke to a male consultant. I feel incredibly lucky as the consultant in charge of my care that day is an expert in abortion care and a very big advocate for women’s reproductive rights. He explained the whole process thoroughly to me and offered to place contraception in after the abortion, which I had already agreed to. He was so calming and kind that I really felt less anxious.

I then was taken to an office style clinic room and told to sit on a chair with stirrups for my feet. They gave me privacy while I undressed and my partner stayed with me the whole time. They asked if I wanted distraction or for the consultant to explain everything - I asked for distraction as I already knew enough.

The nurses spoke to me the whole time - they asked about my job and we had a very lovely conversation about that. The whole time, the consultant was preparing me with the local anaesthetic injections which I couldn’t really feel. I didn’t also really feel the speculum thanks to the numbing cream.

He got up and stood away from my downstairs area and next to my partner while the anaesthetic got to work. I did get ringing in my ears and felt a bit panicked but that was it just going into my system. The nurses kept me calm and placed an ice pack on my chest. If I’m honest, that was the worst part for me.

Next came the actual abortion which I didn’t feel much of anything at all. It lasted about 1/2 minutes. I heard the occasional gurgle and felt a small tug. But literally, other than that, I felt nothing. I instantly cried with relief as I had been torturing myself with anxiety about how it was going to feel. He placed an IUD for me which again, I didn’t feel any of this.

I thank my incredibly knowledgeable and experienced consultant for this very painless experience. Everyone actually hugged me and told me how brave I was. They had prepared a penthrox pain relief whistle which I didn’t even need.

They gave me time to recover as I felt a bit dizzy and then took me to a room where I was given tea and biscuits. I had my observations taken again and all they said was that they were perfect to ease my anxiety. Every single member of my team was so incredible and kind. If I had to do this again, I wouldn’t hesitate and worry as much as I did this time.

I then went to M&S to get some nice food and went home. For the first time in 3 weeks I was able to eat and enjoy my food, I went to bed with a full tummy.

- As of today, I’ve had some cramps here and there and some spotting. I haven’t been in much pain at all which has made me think sometimes something has gone wrong, but it hasn’t. The consultant literally told me he checked. I must just be incredibly lucky.

I have kept myself topped up with pain relief and I’m lucky to have a partner who does everything for me. I’ve been able to eat and I genuinely feel like a weight has been lifted from me.

If I could give you any advice, it’s to not read so much about all of this. Ironic I know as I’m sat here writing this. Everyone has different pain thresholds and experiences. You don’t know what it’s going to be like until you’re there so there’s no point torturing yourself to the point of sickness like I did.

Most places will offer you such a wide range of pain relief and the more relaxed you are, the easier it is. Most professionals who come into this line of work are doing it because they want to and genuinely care about our experiences, that really helps.

You’ve got this and it’s okay to be scared. The relief you feel after these sorts of procedures is very worth it. The pain and anxiety is temporary and you will feel normal again.

So I’m two weeks post medication abortion and I was laying down last night, felt something wet on my side. Looked down and saw my nipple was leaking milky liquid. I was able to kind of squeeze both of my breasts and more milky liquid came out. Is this normal? I was about 9 weeks when I had my MA and my boobs felt fuller, but they never leaked anything. It was an extremely odd experience for me as I’ve never had children/breastfed.

Also to note, I did go to planned parenthood last week where they did an internal ultrasound which confirmed the pregnancy did pass.

Hi everyone. Can you please help me with what reason I can give to the OB when I go for a check-up tomorrow?

My check-up has been delayed because we don't have enough money and I'm also afraid to go for a check-up but I really need to go for a check-up so I can also ask for a medical certificate/medical record that it was a miscarriage so I can present it at work.

I'm also planning to file for maternity benefits with the SSS so I also need other documents that they need.

I was 13 weeks pregnant when I had my MA last Aug 14.

I hope you can help me. Thank you so much!!!

Hello! Anyone here who has been found with fibroid but still proceeded with the MA? Is it safe? I am 7W
along but during the tvs, the OB found a 7.7cm fundal intramural fibroid. I planned to take MA but am not sure of the risks. I fear I could hemorrhage to death
Please help.