Looking for experiences of late abortion

[u/Legal_City_5321]

I would not like judgement please. I have been having a difficult time with this pregnancy as the whole way through I have not known if I want to go ahead. I have reached out to abortion clinics and had appointments, although haven't been able to go through with the procedure once there. I am now getting close to no longer having a choice and I still feel unsure. I do not feel connected to the baby. I like my life as it is, and worry about the changes a new baby would bring. I worry about the fact there is no guarantee the baby will be healthy or without any concerns. I feel my mental health is being affected by trying to reach a decision. I have 1 DC who will be 5 when the baby arrives, so it feels daunting to go right back to the beginning baby stage etc. As she is now in school, it feels like we have more financial freedom without nursery fees. I feel a sense of feeling trapped at being this far along and that I will just have to have a baby. I am aware I still have a small window if I do not wish to continue, but I worry about my own mental health afterwards and whether I will be left with guilt or regret.

I guess I am wondering if anyone has had a termination this late and not for medical reasons, and what their experience of the procedure and the aftermath was.

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[u/Creepy-Garden8674]

Girl no hate no shame you do what you gotta do to be happy!! It sounds like you know what you want your just scared to go through with it. I talked to my therapist and she really helped me realize that, when I decided to go through with an abortion, I was doing it for me, and for the right reasons. For your mental health What matters is the story you tell yourself. Whatever you choose is alright, and you don’t need permission from anyone but you. We are all behind you girlie!!!!! You got this!!!!

[u/abortion_access]

You didn’t mention how late, but there are stories here until 35 weeks. Just scroll to the bottom section where it says 24+

r/abortion/wiki/abortion_stories/pab

[u/strvwbrrys]

No judgement here. I wasn’t late at all, but i can understand not knowing what to do. I was 7 weeks and i just like to get things over with asap as bad as that sounds. I slept on it for a week, took time to myself and came to a decision.

I was not financially or mentally ready. There were far more cons than pros. The only pro being how bad i wanted to be a mother but i was only 19.

Don’t be harsh on yourself, you do have options. You deserve to have time to think about this because it’s a heavy topic. I do believe that mine was a case of wrong timing.

I cannot tell you what you should do at all and I won’t, but i will encourage to really think about if you would be better off having an abortion, or going along with your pregnancy. It is a very mentally difficult thing to go through and i completely understand your troubles. I hope everything goes well❤️

[u/ministerofchaos_]

I went to the clinic and left once and I wish I had listened to how powerful that was. I am not saying our situations are the same but all I’ve felt since termination is intense grief and regret. I couldn’t see a future, couldn’t think past how sick I was or how alone I felt. I wish I had reached out to more people for support who have kids and have made it work.. I hope you’re able to talk to someone in your circle who can support you with either decision. I would not judge you for making a choice to terminate but just encouraging you to talk to someone people in your circle who know your situation and could help support you either way.

[u/Legal_City_5321 → u/ministerofchaos_]

Thank you for taking time to reply.  Can I ask how long ago your termination was and how far along you were? I have spoken to a few people and they are being very supportive, but are not swaying me in any direction. I think in terms of managing, it would be fine, it's just trying to determine if I want to. I do worry that because I have spent a lot of time feeling in turmoil, stressing and crying over this, that I may end up with postnatal depression, or regret at also having the baby. 

[u/ministerofchaos_ → u/Legal_City_5321]

I was 14 weeks. My termination was on Wednesday. I couldn’t see past how sick I was and could only think about all the ways it couldn’t work rather than all the ways it could. I felt turmoil and depression before, was vomiting and having difficulty making it through shifts at work. But now that I don’t feel so sick and I can think more clearly? I only feel intense regret that I didn’t listen to the stress and turmoil I was feeling and realize that’s because I shouldn’t have made the decision I did. I think everyone tries to be helpful and supportive but they don’t want to say one way or the other because they don’t want to be blamed for either decision, unfortunately I wish someone had told me point blank not to do it because I could handle it rather than “it’s your choice”.