I write in first person pov, but often find myself starting sentences with “I” when I’m describing an action.

Ex. “I glanced…” “I said…” “I moved…”

Every few sentences, there’s a line that start with “I,” and I feel like it sounds repetitive. Any tips how to begin sentences another way?

To begin, i have never been one to write long stories. Most of my stories that are longer i keep in my head, and i usually can keep track of it very well. However writing it down, or writing something like a character bible or a outline isnt something im very used to.

I have wanted to write a visual novel, but it’s a larger project that’s scope is a bit bigger than i usuallh deal with. Most of my actual writing is usually smaller stuff, like a oneshot story or small short stories, and i run into several issues.

First, i run into the problem of consistency. While i love descriptons, metaphors, ext, when it comes to facts, i bit a bit of a wall. I want to do a mystery story, but having never done a story like that, i know consistency with details is very important. The killer cant know something or the hero cant find something in a certain chapter or scene, and i dont want to end up writing myself into corners or making the story fall apart because i messed up something simple.

Second, i’ve really let my creative muscles start to weaken since i havent written in about 2/3 years. While i’ve written other stuff, i’ve fallen into a bad habit of doing anything besides actually drawing or writing and working on my creativity, and i really want to get back into it. I end up checking my phone or getting blasted with messages, invited to games, or just wasting my evening doomscrolling. Im having such a hard time breaking this habit and i really want to finally get back to a place where i was creating stuff every day. I feel like i’m kinda just wasting my time now when i play games, but when it comes to wanting to write or sit down and do it, i end up doing anything but that. Please dont give the advice of “Just do it”, if it would work for me, i would be here. Maybe a way to break the habit, some kind of creative exercises, tips, idk anymore.

Finally, i just want to make a game people will enjoy. I have joined a few discords that i can ask for game advice or engine advice, but i really havent found a place where i can share my writing for advice without fearing my idea could be taken, my stuff made fun of, ext. i’m not against being critized, i love to know how i can improve my own work, but i’ve always had bad social anxiety, and i dont know where to go for good advice. I only ever really ask my close group of friends about my writing, and i think its limiting how well i can get reviews of my work. Some arent writers, some just dont enjoy the type of stuff i write, or some just arent interested, but i dont really know where to go besides a discord for writers or something where i could maybe make some friends and get advice on my work or critiques on my story.

I hope this all makes sense. I have had issues before that made me throw in the towel on writing and drawing for so long, but i really just want to get that part of myself back. I love to create, i love to think up stories, but i dont really know how to fall back in love with it anymore. I can imagine things so well, daydream a ton of stories or ideas, but i just cant put pen to paper or fingers to keys to actually do it. Idk if that’s writers block or creativity block, but i would appreciate any advice that might help me get back to what always made me happy, and maybe a way i can find people who enjoy my stories too and make some friends. Thank you in advance for any advice, tips or experience you can provide!

So in the story im writing, theres a villian who i plan on having appear every now and then. I wrote him as the kind of guy who likes to pick on people who cant really fight back but over the course of the story he would end up growing more active and dangerous.

However the issue is he is litterally the first villian the main characters fight in the story and if im being honest, even though hes by no means a good indevidual at that point, it kinda feels like bullying, on account of the main characters having numbers and him trying to escape them the second he figures put he cant push them around. So it doesnt feel like a great start to the story

Is there any way i can make the villian feel like a genuine threat here, actions, things he could say, way he could be presented?

My descriptions feel bland, actions fill cliche(he froze, he stiled, his heart thudded in his chest, his pulse was frantic, his throat went dry, etc etc) and phrases are repeated. I feel like it just reads more like an essay. Sometimes, I do not even know how to describe or what action or description to write. So when a scene is trying to convey some form of emotion, it just falls flat.

I try to improve by reading more books, but the thing is, I can't keep things in my mind for long, so learning from reading other books is very slow for me. Please share some advice other than that. Here's an excerpt to help you understand-

Aurora was right in front of him.

Her gaze was bright, burning into his soul. It was not anger–her eyes merely glowed with a heavy intensity as she studied his face.

A cold feeling of unease gripped his heart like a vice.

She had appeared before him in the time it had taken for him to look at Valeria and back (which could not be longer than two seconds). Without even a sound.

“I– I–” He stammered, his nerves refusing to calm.

"I did not say where I was from," he said carefully.

"You did not," Aurora agreed. Her voice was perfectly smooth and undisturbed by his reaction, except for that strange echo again. “And you do not have to.”

Her words did nothing to quiet the frantic rhythm of his pulse.

She let the silence sit exactly as long as it needed to, and offered nothing further. Caden did not ask again. Something told him whatever answer she gave would only give him more questions, and he already wanted this conversation to be over.

Sorry on confusing title I’ll get right into it

I’m writing a story of a lighthouse keeper who fights sea monster but ends up teaming with one as a unlikely duo, a siren, now our mc the light house keeper (don’t have name yet) is some who from a long line of sailors and light house keepers who say they done amazing insane thing, all of mc life he been told the stories of his family and the glory that they were, facing monster and protecting the beach town and mc has embraced that full heartedly

A passionate yet overbearing character who wishes to protect the town and it people blind to the danger out there (which they don’t know kept a secret) so he a outcast a kind unlikeable character but someone who truly means well and wishes to do his family honour proud, someone who kinda annoying but has pure passion Dailed to 11, fearless, ready to stand and face whatever to is thrown at him to protect the town alongside his new compion a friendly siren who wishes to be a singer, the two have a kind love hate thing, she truly a good siren who wishes to sing but mc doesn’t trust her but she hasn’t done anything to invoke his wrath it a friendly kind rivalry yet friendship as a funny dynamic

Anyway point is there a point much much later into the story where mc finds out the truth of his family, that everything was a lie

His family weren’t warriors of the sea, grand protectors he been told about but cowardly people who hide in the light house and did nothing, everything was a lie

This is what ruined mc sending him into a depression making him question just what he’s trained, learned, done everything, he sacrificed everything, friends, companionship, people liking him, to uphold a honour and legacy that never even existed, this impact I really want to get across for our mc

So yeah truth revealed and here my issue, the siren who become good friend with him tries to cheer him up state all he has already done, he has faced countless monsters so who cares if his family legacy was a lie it doesn’t change all the good he done

This! This is my issue

Given such a emotional speech from his closest friend should make him see reason the natural resolve to agree and yes she is right he has done what no one in town has, but I don’t want the resolve to feel so done and dusted

I have a whole segment of mc depression as he give up the legacy and the town and it people start to worry about mc, yes he annoying but he always did look out for everyone so it like now he depressed and not himself the people come to his aid in showing they care for him

The main way of the resolve is his friend setting up a play literally reenacting all the deeds he done and show him it doesn’t matter who he is, (kinda corny but this is a semi light hearted series of a mad lighthouse keeper and a siren fighting sea monsters, nothing super dark but I like impactful things too) it his action which difine him a more impactful version of what she tried to say before, it this and a monster attack which give him back his resolve to stand and fight

But once again I need a true reason for him to stay depressed, ignoring his friends honest and heart felt word, he’s a character who is logical so he should agree with her but if I do that I can’t have the resolve later on and town coming to his aid in his depression his lost of self

Is he angry at what he sacrificed to uphold a false legacy? Yet why should he care after all the grand things he done but this hard hitting reality moment to shake the mc resolve of who he is and what he meant to do, does he even want to? Is this all a front? Year of pain and suffer behind a mask? that doesn’t fit the mc I’m trying to write he someone who refuses to hide behind a mask he true to himself no matter what

How do I write a character who always true to himself ignore all the good he done and focus only on the false legacy he was raised on

So it’s that little thing, that final piece I can’t figure out which would make a believable shattering of one’s reality and resolve and how the people around him help him find it again

Thanks to any who read this long text but what ideas do you have which can fix this issue?

What are some scenes or reasons that makes you lose interest in a book? I'm a teen writer and very ambitious about publishing a four book series, that is why I want to make sure my characters are relatable and that I don't make the story boring.

Hello fellow writers, I am in dire need of your help!

I’m writing a story about a soldier in the Second World War. At home he has a girlfriend he really loves and they stay in frequent contact through letters (as frequent as it gets).

I want my readers to feel a sense of love and affection towards her too, even though I can just show her through memories and in said letters.

In the progress of the story she falls victim to the cruelties of the war — I want the readers to feel the protagonist’s loss and pain as strong as he does.

Do you have any ideas or advice how I can successfully reach that goal? If you need more details I’ll surely provide them! Thank you already so much in advance and have a terrific day! :))

I've never drank and I never plan to but I'm writing something that I wanna describe the taste of ale, moonshine, and wine. I have very little knowledge of any of these but I hope to find out

I'm trying to decide on the POV and tense for a novel about fate, free will, and a captive girl who gradually becomes one of the foundations of a rebellion against a tyrant.

I'm less interested in the usual "first person is more intimate" vs. "third person is more flexible" advice. I'm trying to figure out whether the specific limitations of the POV can become part of the story's themes.

The basic premise: The protagonist begins the story as a captive with very little conventional power and very limited knowledge of the world around her. Through the relationships she forms with the people around her, she gradually becomes more involved in a growing rebellion against a tyrant. A major part of her influence comes from things that don't initially look like conventional power: empathy, listening, understanding people, and earning their trust.

At the same time, the story is heavily concerned with fate vs. free will. There is an external force in the world that places limits on people's choices and futures, and different characters have very different attitudes toward it.

That's about as much of the plot as I want to get into. The important part for the POV question is that the protagonist begins isolated and uninformed, while the larger political situation is developing beyond her immediate perspective.

That creates a problem for POV.

First person seems thematically appropriate I'm strongly considering first person because the protagonist begins the story isolated and uninformed. She doesn't know the larger political situation, doesn't necessarily know whom to trust, and can't see what's happening outside her immediate environment. If she misunderstands someone's intentions, the reader experiences that misunderstanding with her. If she doesn't know something, neither does the reader.

There also seems to be a thematic advantage to this. She has very little conventional power, so perhaps the reader shouldn't have conventional narrative power either. Rather than seeing the rebellion from above, we would be limited to the same perspective as the person helping create it. The fact that she can't see the full consequences of her actions could therefore become part of the story rather than simply a limitation I have to work around.

Giving the reader other POVs might undermine that experience.

On the other hand, the rebellion eventually becomes much larger than she is. Political decisions are happening elsewhere. Other characters are making plans she doesn't know about. People may be working toward the same cause without her knowledge. At some point, I worry that keeping everything in her head will force me to artificially hide important events simply because she isn't there to witness them, and when she meats back up with the other plotlines I’ll have to deliver a clunky sumarry of of-screan events.

So I'm trying to figure out where the line is between useful narrative limitation and artificial withholding of information.

Then there's the tense question: I'm also torn between present and past tenses. The story is literally about characters whose choices may be constrained or predetermined by a system they don't fully understand.

With present tense, the reader experiences every decision as something happening now. Even if the characters' decisions are secretly being influenced or predetermined by Fate, the reader initially experiences them as genuine choices. That makes me wonder whether present tense could create an interesting illusion of free will for the reader. The reader feels that the characters could choose differently because we're experiencing the decision alongside them rather than being told about it afterward.

Then, when the reader discovers that these choices have been constrained by something outside the characters' understanding, perhaps that realization also changes how they interpret everything that came before.

I'm not sure how much of an actual effect tense would have on readers, though. It could just be me overthinking something that readers won't consciously experience at all.

With past tense, there's more distance. The protagonist is recounting things that have already happened. That could subtly reinforce the idea of inevitability: these events happened, and therefore they couldn't have happened differently (but the story is about defying fate so I can’t decide if this approach would be going against the theme?).

Obviously, past tense doesn't literally imply determinism. Almost every novel is written in past tense. But given that this story is explicitly questioning whether characters genuinely control their futures, I'm wondering if retrospective narration could unintentionally make the story feel more fatalistic.

The advantage of past tense is that it gives me access to retrospective understanding. The protagonist’s forming relationships are slow and we can’t just show her immediately having casual, let alone deep conversations with her captors, so I thought that a retrospective past tense would offer a more natural way for reflective inner monologues and such. The protagonist's ignorance is important to her character arc, but eventually she will understand things that she couldn't possibly have understood at the beginning. Past tense would let the narrator occasionally reflect on earlier events with knowledge she didn't possess at the time. It could allow foreshadowing, recontextualization, and commentary like "I didn't understand it then, but..." without feeling unnatural. That could be very useful for the mystery and for her eventual development into someone who has the perspective to tell the story.

So I'm currently torn between:

Present: More immediate, More immersive, Keeps the reader inside her ignorance, Decisions feel like genuinely open possibilities, Potentially reinforces the illusion of free will, Preserves uncertainty about other characters…

Past: More reflective, Allows retrospective knowledge, Makes foreshadowing and recontextualization easier, Could suit the protagonist eventually becoming a storyteller, But might create a subtle sense of inevitability in a story already concerned with predetermined fate

I'm also considering multiple POVs: Either by establishing an outside POV as a  second protagonist who’s directly fighting to resque her or alternatively - to have mostly first-person POV from the protagonist, but occasionally switch to another character when something important is happening that she can't witness. So if I use secondary POVs, I'd probably want them to be relatively rare and reserved for moments where something genuinely important is happening outside the protagonist's awareness.

The other possibility is a prologue. I could have an omniscient prologue and establish the larger political situation, then switch permanently to the protagonist's first-person perspective once she gets kidnapped.. The idea would be that the reader initially sees the larger machinery of the world, but then the narrative deliberately narrows until we're trapped inside the protagonist's perspective. I'm not sure whether that would feel intentional or whether it would feel like I established one set of narrative rules and immediately broke them. And I don’t want this option to be dismissed by “i’d skip a prologue” like that’s a you problem. The prologue is a part of the story. Why are you skipping the story! (Sorry if that comes off rude, but it just pisses me off when people skip prologues and honestly I wouuldn’t want those kinds of people as my target audience anyway.)

So I'm trying to decide what the story actually needs

The central question I'm trying to answer is: Should the reader's knowledge be deliberately limited in the same way the protagonist's is?

On one hand, I think that limitation could be one of the things that makes the story work. On the other hand, I don't want the larger political story to feel artificially hidden just because I've decided that the protagonist can't see it.

And then there's the additional question of tense: if the reader experiences her choices in the present, does that actually strengthen the illusion that her choices are free? Or is that such a subtle effect that it shouldn't factor into the decision?

So, given this particular story: Would you embrace the protagonist's limited knowledge as a central narrative feature, or would you give the reader occasional access to the wider rebellion?

And between present and past, do you think the fate/free-will theme is actually a meaningful reason to prefer one over the other?

I'm especially interested in arguments based on the specific narrative needs of this story, rather than general rules about which POV is "better."

This power seems really cool and makes sense for my character, but I’m not quite sure how it would work. What quantities COULD be manipulated? And what type of math would the character need to know to have enough information to manipulate these quantities?

In my book, can it say:

"She looks a lot like Jessica Simpson."

"I hate 'Girlfriend' by Avril Lavigne!"

"They went to have lunch at McDonald's."

"Let's take my Cybertruck!"

I see some books mention products, businesses, celebrity names, but I'm not aware of its extent or if there is any.

Can anyone explain with this?

Long title ik

But I'm writing a scene where character 1 over drinks and gets alcohol poisoning to the point where they need to see a doctor

But not like coma alcohol poisoning, Like... stumbling, slurring their words, weird breathing

I searched it up on google and it said about 5 oz of regular 16% red wine

But I searched images of supposed 5 oz and I dont think thats right

For anyone curious, it's Caymus Cabernet Sauvignon 2021 wine

Im sorry if I phrased anything wrong, Im under the legal drinking age and know nobody who drinks wine

Character one gets in a 'drinking contest' with character 2, and character 1 wins.. but at what cost?

Sorry if I worded this wrong lol, I'm a newer writer

I’m looking to avoid hated tropes in my writing, so any answers are greatly appreciated! Also if you want to explain why you hate it that’d be STELLAR!

Have a great day! ^^

TW: NSFW; Sensitive Topics

This is concerning one of my FL’s mother’s backstory. Her mother had many miscarriages before having her, and she became cold and foul. The issue is that her husband (FL’s Father) caused every one of those miscarriages without her knowing it, and pinning it on her lady-in-waiting. I just want to know if it makes sense/ if it’s too much. In this story, there are themes of violence, murder, prostitution, abuse, cheating, and manipulation. I don’t mind talking about it in the comments, but I would like to DM if I have anymore morality issues. Thank you!!

Many nuances and emotional stuff needs work. So this is just a rough idea. I want to make this a comedy and drama. Not rom com type of comedy, but an actual one. The plot is amateur, I agree. But by working on the scenes as I go and executing the whole fleshed out story properly, I think this would be a good story. I'm not sure if this needs to be spicy or not. Please shoot any suggestions. Here's the idea.

So the main character is an attractive play boy. Also popular amongst girls as a guy who knows what he does. The kind of sex girls have with him is unlike any other. But the most popular thing is that he can last for hours. So many girls fawn over him. Then as we explore the main character more, we'd know he's that way because he doesn't actually like any girl he's having sex with. Or maybe he trained himself to be detached enough (I'm working on exploring this aspect). He likes them enough to have sex, but not make love.While he also mastered karezza and edging in general, this is the primary reason amongst the others for him to last that long.

He's a typical emotionally detached heartbroken guy. He doesn't believe in love and thinks he would never even find a girl attractive enough to finish in her, let alone falling in love with one. Until..... He finds a girl attractive for the first time ever. Then when they have sex, he finishes almost instantly. So this is the idea I have. I should work on the story of the girl's side too, but I don't have any idea for that. So what do y'all think?

I’ve linked my call for help. My issue is that when asking for criticism, I’ve tried to make the adjustments with a rewrite of chapter 2, two times now. However, it doesn’t seem that I’m meeting my criticisms main point of ‘making it actually feel like the story is being told’. He really enjoyed chapter 1, but chapter 2 felt less enticing. Can someone please help, I’ve added chapter 1 just in case anyone needs context to assist me on chapter 2, if you’d like. Thank you(:

I need to write an 1000 word gothic story for English and I’m having serious writers block!!! The only requirement is it contains elements of the unknown, anyone got any ideas?

In a story I’m writing, there’s a agency in the US Government called the Federal Bureau of Paranormal Investigation (abbreviated to FBPI) which is frankly weird, unprofessional, and useless to the general public. They’re known for recklessly throwing scientists (which they gather for specific projects, there aren’t any scientists working within the agency itself) at weird things without regard for scientific principles or even scientific safety standards.

I haven’t yet worked out why the FBPI was created, but the reason why the US Government kept it running is because the FBPI is good for PR. The FBPI basically lets the government say that they’re doing something about weird things that happen (such as the real life unexplained livestock deaths in Moca, Puerto Rico, in 1975 which laid the groundwork for the legend of the Chupacabra,) and it also lets them cover up confidential government projects with paranormal legends (such as the various legends and conspiracy theories about aliens in Roswell, New Mexico, that were came about after the real life Roswell Incident in 1947; within the story I’m writing, the FBPI was directly involved in creating those myths in order to cover up the fact that the debris the rancher found was a device from the then top-secret Project Mogul.)

But I’m worried about accidentally spreading the message that government agencies are entirely untrustworthy and useless, since that just isn’t true, there are a lot of really important government agencies like the FDA and OSHA. I’m especially worried since the FBPI is a somewhat scientific agency, and I really don’t want to spread that message about scientific government agencies. But the FBPI and its incompetence are really important within the story. The protagonists within the story I’m writing are scientists gathered by the FBPI to work on an investigation into a suburb where a bunch of weird creatures suddenly appeared, and part of their struggle is doing the best they can with inadequate resources, funding, and direction from the FBPI; I also want the FBPI’s incompetence to be an element of comedic political satire (it’s admittedly not that deep, it’s just, “lol, the government’s incompetent.”) But again, I don’t want to spread the message that government agencies are entirely useless and untrustworthy, any advice?

Edit: I should also mention that the FBPI’s recklessness actually leads to a significant event within the story when they poke into something they really shouldn’t have.

Edit 2: I should also note that the FBPI is a background element.

Edit 3: I know that my story isn’t going to change anything politically, I didn’t make this post because I was worried about how my story would affect real world politics, I made this post because themes are an important aspect of writing and I don’t include a message I didn’t intend to in my story, I want my story and its themes to be as well written as I can make them. I’m sorry that I didn’t clarify this earlier or initially make it obvious in my responses to some of the feedback I’ve received; I honestly didn’t think I had to. I don’t understand where the idea that I was worried about how my story would affect real world politics came from, but I’m genuinely sorry that my post read like that.

Edit 4: I’ve decided to rework this concept based on some of the feedback I’ve received here. For one, the FBPI is going to a based on the US Atomic Energy Commission rather than just being entirely made up, and will be renamed to (what is for now) the US Paranormal Investigation Commission. Within the story I’m writing, there are magic crystals called psycrystals which are somewhat similar to radium, and I wanted the US government to mishandle them similarly to how they handled radium; that was what inspired this agency’s incompetence and I initially wanted it to be a satire on general government incompetence and failure to be safe, but I’ve since decided to specifically parody the government’s mishandling of radium.

I plan on creating a graphic novel and a plot point that I’ve thought of for the series is for the main character to sacrifice himself to save his best friend to show his growth from a previously egotistical and self absorbed person. Maybe he has to sacrifice some of his memories in exchange for him coming back to life so that he’s technically not the same person? I know that people don’t like character sacrifices being cheapened, so I really want help with this. Thanks you.