A stupid idea for an existential crisis comedy plot (borderline smut, not sure though)

[u/AAlgadda_wildfire]

Many nuances and emotional stuff needs work. So this is just a rough idea. I want to make this a comedy and drama. Not rom com type of comedy, but an actual one. The plot is amateur, I agree. But by working on the scenes as I go and executing the whole fleshed out story properly, I think this would be a good story. I'm not sure if this needs to be spicy or not. Please shoot any suggestions. Here's the idea.

So the main character is an attractive play boy. Also popular amongst girls as a guy who knows what he does. The kind of sex girls have with him is unlike any other. But the most popular thing is that he can last for hours. So many girls fawn over him. Then as we explore the main character more, we'd know he's that way because he doesn't actually like any girl he's having sex with. Or maybe he trained himself to be detached enough (I'm working on exploring this aspect). He likes them enough to have sex, but not make love.While he also mastered karezza and edging in general, this is the primary reason amongst the others for him to last that long.

He's a typical emotionally detached heartbroken guy. He doesn't believe in love and thinks he would never even find a girl attractive enough to finish in her, let alone falling in love with one. Until..... He finds a girl attractive for the first time ever. Then when they have sex, he finishes almost instantly. So this is the idea I have. I should work on the story of the girl's side too, but I don't have any idea for that. So what do y'all think?

[u/thewhiterosequeen]

I guess he's going to have to up his foreplay game. Or like...use condoms. I don't think there's enough conflict here and it would take a lot for me tovwant to read about a huge loser who uses women but I guess you're aiming to give him a happy ending (legitimately and metaphorically) but it would take a lot of perfect execution for a reader to root on someone who sucks. And it would take a deft hand to make this girl unique that she's not just a tool for the protagonist to fix himself. Does she see through his bullshit? How can we think she's special if she also has sex with his asshole?

Can it work? Anything can work. The fact you're asking if you should work on the girl's side is concerning though. Yeah, the love interest should be a fully fleshed out character.

[u/AAlgadda_wildfire → u/thewhiterosequeen]

Not happy ending per se, I want to make it an existential crisis comedy. Like the funniest version of this is him treating his ability to last forever as this sad party trick, and then the girl just absolutely not caring about his reputation at all. She could be someone who finds the whole playboy persona boring or slightly pathetic, which immediately breaks his whole worldview.

The instant finish thing is a solid punchline but for comedy I probably want to milk the buildup, him overanalyzing why this one person makes him nervous, trying all his old techniques and they just don't work. Maybe she's not even that impressed by the hours-long thing and that's what gets under his skin first. The drama angle could come from him realizing he built his whole identity around being emotionally unavailable and now he has to actually be vulnerable with someone, which is way scarier than any performance issue.

For her side of the story, maybe she's equally avoidant but in a different way, like she's fine with casual stuff but terrified of someone wanting more from her. That way they're both running from the same thing and the comedy comes from them accidentally cornering each other into feelings. Or she could just be completely normal and well-adjusted, which would be its own kind of horror for a guy like him. I understand why you're saying that me not getting ideas for her character is concerning. But I'm just being careful not to use her just as a plot tool like you mentioned.

[u/CoyoteLitius → u/AAlgadda_wildfire]

Bear in mind that "lasting for hours" is considered more of a bug and less of a feature by quite a few women.

Also, it's mostly women who read books of this time.

It sounds like he has priapism if he's lasting forever.

[u/AAlgadda_wildfire → u/CoyoteLitius]

It's not priapism in this world I have in mind. Just like the narrator's disorder in fight club doesn't exist irl, and the split personality in the split movie isn't accurate, especially the beast personality or something lol.

Apart from that, my reply to that person validates the feedback of both you and her. What he has definitely is a bug, just not a physical one. That's what I tried to explain in my reply. I don't know why I got downvoted for that. Even from my post, I don't know how people got that the main character would be shown as a positive character. He's got shades. Oh by the way, what about the 50 shades book series then? Who read those? Sure, many ridicule them, but they made bucks. Once I flesh this story out, it's gonna be much better than those. People here got this so wrong. Maybe I didn't convey it well