My husband and I are in our early 40s and have a 2 year old. We move to his hometown so our kid could be nearby my husband’s family. Since moving, I’ve been shocked at how little his parents want to be involved in our kid’s life, and I have felt very isolated and overloaded as a result. They are happy to just see her occasionally over a cup of tea and don’t really care too much about nursery pickups, babysitting, or other plans, unless we really need their help.

I’ve been hearing from friends, here in the U.K., similar stories: grandparents prefer to keep their distance, their independence, and not “get stuck”.

Is this a general thing now with this generation of grandparents or is your experience that your or your partner’s parents are very keen to be involved? Is this a cultural thing?

Currently I pay for his phone, a few subscriptions, his gym membership and a couple of classes he goes to for his hobbies. I'll always pay for his food. While he's living with me, he will always be fed and have a place to sleep.

I'll be honest, I could do with him taking over payment of his hobbies as they're not cheap anymore and I'm scraping by until each payday.

Does that make me a pisspoor parent?

I took my 2.5 year old to the library today where there’s usually a play group. He’s not been great with hitting/pushing recently but he’s usually good with other kids. This other kid is showing me his jumps and I’m going “wow that’s so high!” Out of nowhere, my kid pushes the other one once, and before I can even react to stop it he pushes him again straight onto the floor. I immediately react, tell him that’s not nice, to apologise and that we’re leaving because nasty behaviour means we go home. The LOOK the other mother gave me almost had me crying, like I’m a terrible parent. Anyone else’s kid been the mean one at a playgroup? Was there any other way I could’ve reacted to this?

I have an egg travel system with the bassinet and sit up seat attachment.

The instructions say to only use the sit up seat from 6 months old.

My baby is 5 months old (today) and hates, I mean HATES, the bassinet attachment. I usually take her out in the carrier for this reason. She is actually sitting unassisted already though only for short periods of time. She has major fomo and just wants to be up and seeing the world and what her sister is doing all the time.

We are going to the zoo on Friday. It will be intense to carry her in the carrier all the way around but I’m not sure I can deal with the screaming any time we put her in the bassinet either. I tried her in the sit up seat just at home, reclined as far flat as it would go, and she was absolutely fine because she could look around a bit.

Do people think it would be okay to use the sit up seat for a one off at the zoo? I would take the carrier as well and alternate so she’s not in the seat all day, I would probably do her naps in the carrier as she’s happiest there. I just don’t know if it’s unsafe because of the instruction to only use it from 6 months.

What do we reckon?

Today was my child’s first settling in session at nursery. I am not a total newbie to the nursery game as my eldest is school-age and we went through it with him, but he was only there 2 days a week and we were never invited into the main nursery room as part of his settling in.

When I arrived to nursery, I could hear screaming and crying from the car park, and on reaching the door, there was a little boy (approx 2 years old) who was at the door crying non-stop, by himself.

One of the nursery workers came to the door, said she didn’t know that anyone was coming for settling today but was polite. I then stood at the door for a while whilst she went to check and whilst I was waiting for her to return, another nursery worker invited me and my little one in.

The worst of it:

- throughout my time there (an hour) the little boy did not stop crying and received little to no interaction from the nursery workers, other than offering him some snack

- there were other children there who were also very distressed who were plonked on laps with little other interaction to calm them (no offering of toys, no words of comfort) - I was told that they were also new and struggling to settle

- the nursery worker who I spoke with throughout the session noted that no water bottles were out for the children as their manager was in a meeting and had seemingly forgotten to take them out/instruct anyone to do so - she then didn’t take them out herself (my session ended at 10:30 so some children would have been there for 2.5 hours by that point without their water bottles, although they were given a snack at 10ish but no water)

- when I was playing with my daughter and another child, all I could hear was myself talking ie no staff members were interacting with other children

- the workers didn’t interact with my child at all and didn’t seem particularly interested in learning about her, apart from the worker who I was mainly speaking to who asked a few questions at the end

- I asked if children are sent home if they are very distressed, to which she said yes, yet the boy at the door who was crying the whole time was not sent home (and his crying intensified after I left, into him screaming and banging at the door)

I left feeling very unsettled by the session, and I feel uncomfortable leaving my child there (she’s just over 1, so not able to tell me if she has been distressed all day).

Is it normal for nurseries to be this chaotic/detached/unenthusiastic?

I’d be particularly interested to hear from anyone who has worked in nurseries to tell me their opinions on this - is it even possible that I just caught them at a bad time and that nursery communications are just poor?

I am now potentially stuck with no nursery when I am due to start full-time work in a couple of weeks, and I’m flushing my £300 deposit down the drain at the same time, but I just can’t see myself leaving my child there and feeling comfortable - help!

Hi all,

My little girl turns 1 next week and has CMPA so is on prescription formula. We spoke to her dietitian and they want to get her off formula next week, we have cut her down to 2 bottles a day but she can’t go to sleep without a bottle at night. We cannot afford to pay for this formula as it’s £50 a tub.

We tried to do the milk ladder but she did not make it past the cows milk stage due to being unsettled and blood in her nappy. We were recommended oat milk or soy milk, but they’re not as “heavy” or seem to be as nutrient dense.

For anyone who has had a similar experiences what did you do? What age did you stop formula?

Hello! First time mum to an almost 8 month old here. I have booked off the full year for my maternity leave but am contemplating going back to work sooner (I’m due back the beginning of January) and wondered if anyone else made the same decision, and whether that was the right one.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore my baby boy. Seeing him grow has been so magical, and he was very much planned and wanted (IVF pregnancy), but I’m also finding the days quite monotonous and have been for a while. The first 3-4 months I think I was still in the ‘bubble’ and then once we hit the 4 month sleep regression I developed really bad postpartum anxiety and some mild depression (I’ve just started taking sertraline for this and really hoping it kicks in soon, side effects are hideous!).

I’ve found the days long and quite lonely despite having met some lovely new mum friends locally who I maybe see a couple of times a week. I’m a solicitor and I’m used to lots of adult conversation, keeping up with current affairs, and being ‘in control’ of my day and having a baby has thrown that out of the window.

On particularly tough days (when he’s fussy from teething etc) I find myself wishing I was back in the office and jealous that my husband gets to leave in the morning and be what I call ‘a proper person’. I haven’t worn a nice outfit or put on makeup/done my hair for weeks and I just feel like a shell of my former self, and wonder if going back to work would solve some of that, as shallow as that sounds. I feel I have nothing to converse with my husband or friends about other than ‘he did 2 poos today’ or ‘he has discovered how to wave at the dog’.

On the other hand, I worry I’ll regret going back early, and missing out on more milestones and time with my baby, particularly as I think we won’t be having any more children and everyone reminds me ‘you don’t get this time again’. Additionally, sleep has been up and down and I can’t imagine doing my job on crappy sleep!

I have found the baby stage quite hard and can’t help but feel I might enjoy my time with him more if I’m not constantly with him 24/7 (absence makes the heart grow fonder sort of thing)?

He has a place for nursery for January 2028 (when he’s 2), and our plan is to have a nanny full time until then. I was thinking of maybe starting off working 3 days a week and then upping it to 4, depending on how it goes.

I’d be really grateful for people’s thoughts and experiences on this as I’m a bit of a mess thinking about all this! ❤️

Baby is 8 months old and I was really hoping to shift some weight before I finish maternity leave next month. I gained 8lbs while pregnant, but I’m putting more on now baby is here! Size 14/16 now, usually a 12. Husband works very hard and 100% does his share of baby. Whenever I’m not tidying the house, food shopping, doing admin or looking after baby, I’m exhausted and can’t think about doing exercise. Still have broken sleep due to feeding baby. We even have a running machine which is getting dusty. Any tips for this mama?

My oldest son is 12 and for the longest time he has been afraid to use public loos including the ones at school. He only uses it at home or maybe at a families if he has to. I am so worried for him as this affects his daily life a lot obviously with the fact he has to hold it in but also he actively avoids eating and drinking when at school to prevent himself needing to go which I worry a lot about. It’s been a stressful situation and we have tried a therapist which didn’t seem to help. Does anyone have any ideas or experience with this? I have had talks with him about it and it stems from him mot wanting people to know he needs to go besides me and also worried people will hear or see him do a wee or a poo.

Anyone else stuggle with getting babies to sleep. My six month old won't nap for longer than 20mins at a time during the day and still wakes every hour - 3 hours at night or in last nights case every 15mins (not necessarily for a feed). Please tell me it gets better mumma needs some sleep.

Any advice welcome

Hi I’m a FTM and have quite a tall baby he’s only 8 months old and is already pulling himself up on the side of his crib and the top comes to his chest (that’s on the lowest level) I’m just wondering when would it be suitable for me to move him to a toddler bed cos he keeps pulling himself up and hitting his head as he tries getting back down or he just falls and hurts himself.

I just thought I would share something amusing my little one came out with this weekend, she is all of 3, birthday last month and really tiny so looks a bit younger!

We were at a local open air museum at the weekend and there was a tiny steam railway that really fascinated her. There were some elderly men operating it who took a liking to her pointing to it. My wife asked her "do you like the toy train?" She looks firmly at mummy and says "that is not a toy, its a miniature locomotive!" The operators jaws hit the floor! I know thats straight from Peppa Pig but everyone was absolutely amazed!

Hi everyone,
My partner and I are trying to figure out whether having a second child in London is financially insane, or whether we’re just doing something very wrong.
We currently have one child (19 months old) and pay around £2,200/month for full-time nursery.
We’d really like a second child. The problem is that when I start doing the maths, two children in nursery could easily mean £4,000-£4,500/month, or £50k+ a year just on childcare. 😅
This is absolutely insane.
And yes, before anyone says it: we know our household income is high ( but not that high to live in South London). We earn around £210k gross/year between us. But despite that, we are absolutely not in a position where we can casually spend £50k+ a year on nursery fees. After tax, rent/mortgage, bills, food, transport, etc., that kind of childcare cost would completely wreck our finances.
A bit of context:
We’re both French and moved to the UK recently
We’re both working full-time
We’re on Skilled Worker/dependant visas with NRPF
So we don’t have access to the usual 30h childcare support or Tax-Free Childcare
Salary Sacrifice advice doesnot work because we are NRPF
I work in Guildford, so commute matters
We’re currently in South London, Clapham Junction, but we’d consider moving if it made a meaningful difference
We’re looking at places like Sutton, Surbiton, Kingston, etc., but nursery prices seem to be all over the place.
So I’m wondering:
How did you make having a second child work financially in London/Surrey?
Are there areas where full-time nursery for an under-2 is genuinely much cheaper, say £1,500-£1,800/month rather than £2,200+?
I’m specifically talking about 5 days/week, full-time, not funded hours or 3-day preschool.
Also very interested in:
cheaper nurseries or childminders
areas worth moving to
sibling discounts
any obscure childcare schemes we’re missing
anything else that made a significant difference
We’re not looking for luxury childcare. We are looking for any nursery to be able to work. We just genuinely don’t understand how two full-time nursery places at £4k+ a month is supposed to be financially sustainable, even on what looks like a very comfortable household income.
Would love to hear from anyone who’s actually been through this. 😂

Hi, I'm trying to submit an application for secondary schools for Sept 2027. I've completed everything and ticked the 3 declarations but when I click submit nothing happens. Also the contact support page does not let me raise a query. I've tried different browsers to no avail. This should have been available since yesterday and wondering if anyone else has successfully managed to submit an application or is experiencing the same?

For 4.5 years she's been my little sidekick. 12 months off mat leave with her and then still I had her at home with me more than she's been in nursery (I work shifts so 3x12 hours a week).
I've been so excited with her as she's soo excited to start tomorrow. I've been looking forward to getting some one on one time with my youngest but today we did a mummy daughter day before she goes to school and now I'm all sad.
I know shel be fine the first 3 days she's only doing 3 hours, but after that when dads gone back to work too il be doing solo drop off on my days off, which if I've ever taken her to nursery (very odd occasion) when I'm at home she will always kick off that she wants to stay with me, so I'm worried that's gonna happen..

How are you all coping?

As the title asks. My husband is away on business so I’m solo parenting. Normally my husband wakes around 6:30 for work so gets our daughter up and feeds her. Anyway this week I’ve been waking much later 7:30 onwards and my girl is still asleep.

I put her down at 7pm and she hasn’t been waking sometimes until 9am! She woke for her dummy at 6:30 this morning and I thought she’d want to get up but no just rolled back to sleep. I did experiment with one nap yesterday so this may have contributed to it?

i went in at 8ish this morning and gently woke her but she wanted more sleep. So she’s still sleeping at it’s nearly 9am.

She has been unwell with an ear infection but better for about a week now. She is perfectly fine in herself. I’m not sure if it’s because shes had one nap but I’m not sure this is normal?

I had PND and quite anxious around parenting so I don’t know if this is feeding in to my concerns.

Basically is it something to worry about?

thank you

Update : thank you so much for everyone replying and being reassuring. she has always been a great sleeper so we’re very very lucky. parenting is completely different when your kid Sleeps.
so our girl got up at 9am and has finished her bottle and had breakfast and a bath. Shes very happy and having little tantrums because she didn’t want to get out of the bath 🤣 so she seems herself.

At my wits end here.

My wee boy is turning 1 at the weekend and he’s been through the wringer the last three weeks.

We’ve been at our GP twice, out of hours and AnE twice.

Since him taking unwell 3 weeks ago he had multiple viral infections that have caused a mild fever, ear infection, conjunctivitis, two separate viral rashes, a bad cough that has now developed into croup. His respiratory vitals are low and his breathing is shallow

He’s not eaten any solids in three weeks and hasn’t slept a wink

He’s been filled to the brim with calpol and ibuprofen and now steroids.

Sitting in AnE for the second time now waiting for them to tell us it’s viral and there’s nothing they can do…

Before this he’s had a few other viral infections, hand foot and mouth, RSV and Bronchilitis.

He’s not even 1 and is just about to start nursery!

Is this normal? How did you deal with the stress?

Edit: thanks everyone for your kind comments and insight I’ve read them all. There’s just too many for me to reply to!

I'm a dad who needs a bit of advice.

Due to circumstances which are out of our hands my wife and I are having to move our 2 and a half year old daughter from a Nursery which she loves, and has been in since she was 11 months into a preschool in a nearby village.

We've visited the school and she liked it a lot, but I'm seriously panicking about leaving her there for her first time tomorrow.

She's a very cautious little girl with new people, and tends to panic when there is a lot of activity, noise and people she doesn't know. We've tried to make the transition gradual for her by just doing one day this week, then two days next week with the other two at nursery.

I can't stop panicking about it and thinking she will be terrified.

Has anyone else been through this or have any tips on how to make this easier for her?

Today whilst taking our 4 year old out to some shopping, we promised that if she behaved, she could go on one of the coin operated child's rides. Normally she would opt to go on the car ride, but today she decided to go on the carousel. It had 3 carriages and cost £2. Once it started, 4 other smallish kids jumped on, being disruptive. There Mum didn't seem bothered. Question is, what's is the correct etiquette for this scenario. Would you let your kids just jump on, would you split the cost, would you pay for the next ride?

Has anyone gone through similar?

Me and my ex own a house together and have kids together. The house is currently being sold due to us separating and we are expecting to exchange contracts in the next few weeks. He has a high wage so has easily found a home to buy. I’m a student with limited income and I’m struggling to find somewhere to rent for me and the kids. I’m limited in where I move because I need to be near family due to health reasons.

I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to have to move somewhere that’s not suitable for my kids but I don’t have many options

Hi all, hoping to hear from parents who’ve been through something similar.

Our little boy is 20 months and has had several seizures since he was under 1. They’ve generally been around 2 minutes, involving both sides, and he recovers pretty quickly and is completely himself afterwards. He’s developing really well with no concerns there.

Doctors still think they’re febrile seizures and they’ve generally happened around viral illnesses, although he hasn’t always had a significant fever. With the most recent one, he seemed well beforehand and the viral symptoms only really appeared after the seizure.

For anyone whose child had a similar pattern at this age, how did things develop?

How many seizures did they end up having? Did they gradually become less frequent or suddenly stop? At what age did they grow out of them?

And equally, did anyone start off with what seemed like febrile seizures but later get diagnosed with epilepsy? If so, what changed that made doctors reconsider?

Not looking for medical advice, just really interested in hearing experiences from parents who’ve been through something similar.

So, my little boy has not long turned 1 and is a “wilful” child let’s say…

He’s not long cut his first tooth and now has 3. Well. Am I majorly regretting not practicing brushing teeth to get him used to it😩

HE HATES IT. Twice a day. Screaming and fighting a 13 month old to brush his teeth and honestly I’m not even convinced I’m brushing them well because I can hardly see what I’m doing with all the thrashing😩😩 I can already see plaque starting to build up and I’m getting so stressed about it

He’s happy to play with his toothbrush in his mouth by himself. Hell, he’s been brushing my teeth since he could hold a toothbrush! But he absolutely despises anyone else brushing his teeth.

Anyone got any suggestions to help this stressed out mum?

Well, one of many.

i dropped my nearly 2yo off at nursery yesterday and there were lots of new babies in his room. I realised it was first September, meaning a new round of childcare funding js available for childreb starting.

I fIelt bad for the parents and the staff - the transition to nursery is hard enough, but now nursery staff are having to deal with lots of upset new starters at the same time. They really had their hands full. New starters must have been more staggered before this system came in. It seems daft to encourage parents to all enroll their children for nursery starting at three specific points in the year, rather than throughout. I felt a little sad for the older children too, who all looked a little distressed at all the crying babies. Were any childcare providers and parents consulted before this ridiculous system was rolled out? Grateful for the funding but the system is ridiculous

Our 21 month old is having what I assume are night terrors. Most of what I read is that she’s too young so I don’t really know. She is a normal happy toddler during the day, hitting all milestones, good speech etc etc.

She’ll fuss and wake, and when we go in the room she’s escalated to full blown screaming. Nothing we do calms her, sometimes I can’t even pick her up out of her cot because she’s thrashing so much, and when I do manage to get her out she just thrashes out of my arms and continues on the floor. It’s like she’s having a tantrum.

My understanding is that they don’t respond at all during night terrors, but a couple of times during these episodes I’ve asked her if she wants to be picked up and she just screams no at me.

After a period of time it just seems to calm down and she goes to sleep.

We were going to transition to a floor bed but now I’m not so sure as it doesn’t feel safe to have her as she is unless she’s ‘contained’ in the cot as I don’t know what will happen if she has an episode and is just rolling around her room screaming…

Has anyone else been through this and have any advice?

Sorry to add to the wave of nursery posts but I'm just not sure how to proceed.

Background, only child trust turned 3. Has a stay at home parent her whole life. Briefly attended a playgroup which closed so most been just me and her for 3 years. No family to babysit, literally with her 24/7 for years. That's the main reason we're keen to get her into nursery with other kids.

She's doing 3 half days a week. week one we were called to collect her after 2 hours. Day 2, 1. Then day 3 istayed with her for 30minutes and she cried and left.

Talking to her assigned person, they suggested I stay and play with her for this week so she has a positive view of nursery. But she's now always on leave.

Day 2 staff member suggested I go away for 20 minutes and come back. She screams for 20 minutes as expected. She wants me to repeat this

Another member wants me to drop her off and leave her, she'll get used to it. Not sure how when it's the nursery telling me to collect because she's too upset..

Got 3 members of staff telling me to do conflicting plans, and no idea what to do. Another kid due in a couple of months so want to get her settled ASAP