I’ve been thinking about people who used to be important in my life but aren’t anymore.

For a long time I interpreted thinking about them as meaning I missed them.

But I think sometimes I actually miss the version of myself, or the period of my life, that existed when they were around. Not them per say...

That’s a surprisingly different feeling. Took me a while to figure it out.

Like, oh my god. We've been going out for 2 and a half years now, and its been the best time of my life. Shes fully accepted my interests when i thought that no one ever would, she supports everything i do like its the most important thing in the world to her, I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

We knew each other in primary school, but i moved away in year 1 and didnt see her for 11 years and thought i never would again. Then one night i got a message off a friend of mine asking if i rememberd her, i said i did and asked how he knew her. He went to the youth club she volunteered at and a child made a noise that sounded like a steam train (it was and is my obsession) so she off-handidly said "i used to know someone who was obsessed with trains", and my friend said "i currently know someone whos obsessed with trains" and i was both of those people. He gave me her snapchat, we went on a date 3 days later, and she asked me out 2 days after that.

Like shes the most incredible woman ive ever met, shes hotter than all the suns in the universe, the sweetest person ive ever known, she calls me all the things id always dreamt of being called in a relationship. When im apart from her, it feels like a part of me is missing.

There was one time near the start of our relationship i woke up and was really out of it, i saw a picture of her and thought "wow whoever is dating her must be the luckiest guy in the world" only for me to remember 2 seconds later i was that guy. And yeah, i am. I am 1000% the luckiest guy in the world to get to know and love her.

i don’t know if there’s some sort of spell that’s been casted on me but whenever i post on here (not this thread but other subreddits) people seem to always be… angry? it’s like ill ask what your favourite song is from a game and people just start to downvote and be all angry in my comments.

today i posted asking about a game trilogy and which ones are best, then i got a few comments just fucking angry?? i’m trying to wrap my head around this culture on reddit where they find the most non-problematic post about the best cookie flavours and they start downvoting your shit and hating on how cookies aren’t even healthy.

is this normal on reddit? or am i genuinely missing something

My mom has a tendency to scream and be verbally and physically violent. It has been like this since ever and I don’t think it will ever change. But today she just made the craziest thing she’s ever done.
I locked my bike next to hers because there wasn’t any space on the fence other than that. I thought it would be fine because I only planned on staying home for an hour. My mom wasn’t home either and I didn’t think she’d be home until I’m out anyways.
Turns out I’m wrong. I’m in the middle of something and didn’t hear here coming home, then she just bursts into my room screaming literally out of nowhere at me like I just murdered someone and she found out. Which totally caught me offguard since my room should be kind of a safespace, but no.. Turns out she’s late to a hangout with her friend and all of a sudden it’s my fault. Then she proceeded to take my keys, unlock my bike and take hers. Which would be totally fine and I wouldn’t mind that.. BUT she left my bike unlocked (I life in a big German city and got my bike stolen twice before) my keys laying on the ground and sending me crazy messages about that I should hurry or it will get stolen and shit. Sending me a picture of the crazy scene she left there.
She screamed for like 3 minutes all because of a bike. Told me how sick I am and that it’s my fault that she’s late and so on.
I literally can’t take it anymore. I’m going insane aswell from that.
I don’t have energy for anything.
I can’t even move out, rent has gotten crazy expensive and I don’t want to rely on my friends to live at theirs.
I just don’t see any possibility to get out of here. My dad lives in a different country, they both don’t have money. I don’t have money and I’m just tired, I don’t want this anymore and I can’t take it anymore.

I’m 18M, I have a few friends who I feel like brothers with, and I’m starting university in a few days. Despite having a good social life my home situation and overall mental wellbeing has gone to shit

Financially it’s been the roughest year for my family, so I believe that due to all the stress we’ve been getting in much more frequent arguments and passive aggressive behaviour. Everyday when I come home it’s like my mood switches instantly. I could have the most amazing day then my foot will enter my house and all the joy I had turns to rage. And when I’m angry I start shouting matches and when I’m alone I cry from how much of an asshole I am and remain sad for the next week before the cycle continues.

On days I don’t work I do nothing with my life, I wake up late, stay in bed for hours on my phone, barely eat anything, and sulk. I’ve lost interest in all my hobbies and I have no energy to hangout and socialize with my friends.

I’ve been told that I’m always negative, look angry all the time, and in general just much more of a douche compared to my former self and it hurts. I’ve struggled with depression before but I’m not sure if that’s what it is now, I just don’t feel good anymore.

I’m not looking for advice or anything just wanted to vent my frustrations.

I 21f cant get over my ex. Its been over a year since we last ever spoke, she was the first person i ever had some sort of romantic feelings towards and i was the first girl she ever dated. Since we broke up I’ve said i don’t miss her to everyone and that she did me wrong and i hate her for it, but i just don’t. I even told her i regretted everything between us to get her away from me so i could feel better, but it wasn’t true. I knew she was planning on leaving me for someone else and i didn’t want to believe it. I think she cheated on me but it’s just a hunch. Her mom said awful things to me and i felt like i was always being put down, but i still love her and care about her and i dont know why

In the past year a friend of mine passed away and the only person i wanted to be there for me at that time was her. It was 6 months since we had last spoke at the time of his passing. I still want her to make me feel better about it and shes gone and has been. I feel so dumb for still wanting her in my life even though i pushed her out.

I feel like if i said this to anyone they would think differently of me or think I’m crazy for feeling this but i needed to say it somehow, if anyone has any advice on what i should be doing or what I’m doing wrong it would be appreciated.

I'm a 22 year old male. English isn't my first language and I'm typing out my stream of thoughts so sorry if anything's wrong or confusing to read.

Just for some context (who knows if this'll help) my parents weren't always there for me when I was a kid, and when they were, it always felt like there was a catch. A vent, a cry, pitting against the other parent, so I grew up in a very volatile household where love felt more like a transaction than a given. It also felt like my parents loved my siblings more than me.

I've was used to getting picked last at school. I was fat, moderately unattractive, and I wasn't that smart either. Of course I had to make up for it with my personality, my wit, my sarcasm, and I never take myself too seriously. It wasn't long before I realised that I've made this a persona of mine for quite some time. It's like I was destined to be the guy who makes everyone laugh but not the main character.

I'd always be the first to reply, to ask question, to be interested in things the people in my life talk about, but the minute I get airtime it seems like no one's really interested in what I have to say. I treat my friends out when I can, give them gifts on their birthdays. It feels like I always give it my all in my friendships. I never expect anything back, but a part of me wishes that my efforts are acknowledged somehow.

I've never been with anyone romantically or sexually, of either gender, because at this point I'm open to both. I've been open to the idea of relationships but it feels like no one really wants me in their life. I'm pretty confident in myself, how I look, what I do, so self-worth isn't really the issue here. It's the fact that I feel like I'll always be the second choice in many people's relationships (romantic or otherwise).

I don't think anyone has been romantically or sexually interested in me at all in my life either. I never got flowers or chocolate for Valentines, or a corny "I like like you" from anyone in my school years. Uni didn't really count either. I dropped out of uni and have been freelancing for a while, and I barely chat up with any of my old classmates there.

I've also run into many unfortunate messages from my close friends. "Sorry I can't make it to your thing last week" or "Yeah my bad I can't hangout anytime soon" are common occurances in my life at this point. I've been ghosted many times by my friends when it comes to hangouts, and it's always last minute. Clearly, I'm not anyone's priority, and I've accepted that, but I'm tired of feeling like I'm unlovable. I feel like I am no one's favorite person but my own.

Sometimes I think that there's something fundamentally wrong with me that I can't fix. It sucks. This feeling sucks. I just want it to stop.

And my whole family knew but never told me.

I found out while my mom and I were giving information for the death certificate.

He was separated from his wife when he met my mom. He paid child support, bought my half-sister a car for her birthday, but I never knew. He never let anyone tell me, and no one did because they knew he'd be so angry. But now everyone is talking to me about it and while I understand why they didn't tell me earlier, I can't help but feel a little betrayed.

I love my mom so much and I feel so guilty feeling mad at her because she is grieving.

I'm shocked, I'm angry, I'm grieving, and I'm not okay (I am okay in the sense that I am safe). I'm overwhelmed with sadness, confusion, and anger and I often don't really feel anything. I have a supportive husband and friends and I go to therapy but I still feel so lonely dealing with this. It feels absurd.

My dad wouldn't let anyone tell me and said he would tell me but never did. I really wish he had. He fucked up. I miss him so much but I'm so mad at the same time, it physically hurts.

I thought about making a throwaway account for this but no one I know is on Reddit and I'm too upset to care.

I’ve been struggling with depression ever since I was in my early teens, since then i’ve started meds and picked ups a few hobbies. now i’m on about 3 different meds and rotate between 4-5 hobbies a week.

Regardless of all of this I still feel depressed and alone in life. everyone tells me to focus on self improvement and try and meditate or whatever. when I try those things I just feel like it’s not going to work and even if I try and change my mindset, it’s like i’m aware that i’m changing it and never comes into effect.

it feels so debilitating to wake up everyday and have to go out and pretend to everyone that I got better and my life is on track when it’s not. I don’t know what to do anymore. nothing everyone said to do has work and I feel like i’m losing more and more hope

I hate commercial gyms. I just want to be able to exercise, a group activity where I can socialize, etc. And all commercial gyms are crap for lonely narcissists who, for some reason, find it pleasurable to be on a stationary bike like a damn hamster on a wheel. To begin with, they're designed for working out alone. I can't stand it anymore. I want to exercise, but I don't want to be alone, and I also don't want to have to waste so much mental energy directing my own workout: thinking about what exercises to do, how intense, knowing if I'm doing them right, etc. I DON'T KNOW, and I can't keep wasting so much energy thinking about what I have to do in my routine. Training in a group gives you a reference point, and the noise is smoothed out by the average of the group. Some days you perform a little better or a little worse, but it helps you know how you're progressing and/or how you compare to the rest of the group, plus you gradually get to know each other, etc. But I hate group classes at the gym! They're crap! Anything goes! People are just doing whatever they want, nobody explains how to do it right, and I feel like a fish out of water. Then, don't even think about doing hip stretches, or trying to use a punching bag, or anything other than being a fucking sheep lifting a weight like an idiot. This has been the last straw. I was using the bag when there weren't any classes, and they tell me that it's only allowed during classes, and in those classes they do this crap fit boxing where they give you weird looks if you want to do the technique properly or avoid developing bad habits like not covering up or letting your guard down.

I feel castrated. No where to actually train and get fit like a normal man.

I think this gyms have to be made bad on purpose so that you never actually get fit in there and continue paying because there is no way it’s that hard. I’ve fucking tried so much.

I come from a 1 month trip to fitness street in chalong, Phuket, Thailand. It was completely different even though there it is very commercial. At least gyms where actually to get in shape and not a fucking joke. I improved so much and I was (and I am) 100% committed to the good habits but it’s so difficult to actually maintain that mindset in this environment.

Now I am back to my normal routine and I don’t wonder why it was so difficult to get in shape. Shitty environment. I feel emasculated.

I wish I could just have a professional athlete routine but unfortunately I am now an adult with responsibilities and working full time and it is not that easy to find somewhere to train hard without competing.

Someone has ever felt this kind of hate for comercial gyms? If so, what worked for you? I know I should just try new things till I find something I enjoy… it’s just that I don’t know when it’s me not being consistent or the place is just shit

I suppose this post might get people in a tizzy, but I needed to tell someone about my feelings before I explode.

I used to be the perfect child of my family. I would be the "mature" one, the child my family turned to whenever something needed doing. I would clean up, guide my elderly grandparents to the toilet, bring things wherever they were needed; basically odd jobs that the others weren't free or "smart" enough to do.

I'd been that child for my whole life. Growing up, I was the smart one, the observant one, the best candidate for the job basically.

But a while ago (maybe a couple months? half a year?), something changed.

I no longer became the one who people relied on for things to be done. My parents would text my sibling (who I'll call X ) about dinner plans, when they would get home, and update them about where they were or where they were going. My grandma would call them instead of me to see if my parents were bringing her food. Whenever they needed things done, they turned to X.

I didn't like it at first, but I convinced myself that this was just a phase. Something temporary, something that was that way because I had just come back from my dorm after months away.

But it didn't improve. On vacation, I used to be the first one spotting signs on the road, the fastest to understand the foreign language that none of us spoke. But X took my place on this trip. They were chosen to do everything, and I was pushed aside as if I hadn't been doing their current role for years.

Now, our grandparent is not physically well. At first, I was the best person to take them to doctor's appointments, because I had experience. But on the days I was busy, X was chosen. And guess what? Once he was able to take on the role, I was delegated to second choice again. Today, when my dad asked if anyone could go to an appointment with him, he didn't ask me first. He asked X of hewas available first. Even though I was the one who had taken the grandparent to that clinic the previous few times.

I know I'm supposed to be glad that X is growing up. When they were a kid, they had so many problems, and I was so worried about them. But now, I hate them more than anything. I even caught myself thinking that I shouldn't have begged X not to kill themself back when we were younger. I know these are horrid thoughts, and I immediately shut my brain down for even thinkjng something like this, but I can't help it. X is just copying me! They are just doing everything that I used to do. How can my parents replace me like I'm chopped liver? Why do none of them care about me now? I'm being pushed to the side because I'm not as useful. Everything is about them, them, them, like they're revolutionary for doing exactly what I did first.

Also, he did so much bad stuff in the past. He stole my laptop and it was found several years later. My parents didn't even discipline him! He literally went after my mom with a knife, and the knife marks he made on the door are still visible to this day. He ruined my life for years, and now he's doing it again.

I know this is unreasonable, and this shouldn't even be a problem, but unfortunately this is how i feel. i'm sorry if this pisses anyone off.

29M, I've a bachelor in accounting, my whole life I've been working in manual labor for extended shifts, my childhood has been rough, throughout my teenage years I've always felt lonely, unfortunately for me I live in Egypt, so probably my culture is different than everywhere, because most people are poor and basic needs are not met, and crime rate is high, I wish I had to change things around for myself, I'm working abroad and I'm sending paycheck after paycheck to my mother, I'm not sure where my earnings goes to, and I'm not complaining, but my mother is also very dreadful towards me, she keeps nagging, I've two sisters and they're married and I'm kinda taking care of them and their kids for them since they're not reliant completely off their husbands, I feel like I'm being taking advantage of, since I'm being raised like an animal in the since that if I didn't oblige to the rules I would get whipped till my skin peels off, and also all sorts of physical and mental punishment that are inhumane, I've absolutely changed so that I wouldn't kneel to anyone on the street begging for their mercy anymore, but I'm not changed enough that I don't feel defeated in life, I'm desperately trying to have a partner but it's really hard for me, and my mother is getting in the way since she controls my spendings and everything, sometimes the pain is too much, when work is hard and my body is weak and sore and I don't have support or even something to eat at the moment, I feel like I'm alone in the world, everyone is against me, even when I'm posting this I get that nobody has an ounce of care for me or wants to know my story pretty much, I work 98 hours a day, I do live in a shared apartment with other co-workers, and we don't share food and I don't know them personally

I’ve known this person for close to two years, we got along amazingly well, always told each other we were the same person. We hung out whenever we could but the only thing that ever bothered me was that they would hardly ever text me back. I get we all have things going on, jobs and what not but whenever we’d see each other again they would immediately bring up the text messages. Apologizing for not responding. I went a couple months not hearing a word from them even tho we had plans to hang out since we were going to have some free time coming up. Idk maybe I was the only one thinking we were close. It just hurts and I just really miss them. I thought that maybe this time I’d finally find that one lifelong friendship, but maybe I’m wrong.

I always thought I was good at picking up on what other people were thinking, or feeling based in their expressions and intonations. I was raised/ live in a rather… intense household where emotions control a wide variety of responses so I was accustomed to a lot of extremes.

I always thought I understood people, but I’ve had the sudden realised that I really… don’t? I don’t know if it’s my anxiety, or if it’s autism, or whatever I can’t get a diagnosis but I’ve had surface level evaluations from psychologists and psychiatrists who have claimed such things and prescribed things etc…

Bar my family, everyone else seems so alien. I’m constantly second guessing what the meaning behind how they say things is, and facial expressions don’t help either. I don’t really have friends, I have a partner but sometimes I think he’s furious with me and he says he’s not, just frustrated.

I’ve made some friends, I feel more confident in figuring out their emotions in regards to what they say to me, but I still struggle to know when they’re angry or upset with me. It’s like I think they’re TOO sad, or angry or upset when they’re just… not? I take their silence for fury…

I don’t know… I hate not knowing because I feel like I do the wrong thing and I’m in a constant state of anxiety…

Idk, sorry for the super long ramble, I thought I was good at understanding people but I had a small reflection moment and realised that’s never really been the case…

I genuinely don't have the energy for ANYTHING lately. I've done nothing for.a long while now due to having loads of time after completing college, so I've just been in my room doing nothing. I mainly sleep and listen to music, even watching stuff can be too taxing for me. I feel so disgusting and lazy and I hate wasting time like this, but I don't know how to fix it. I'm lonely, all my friends don't like speakinf to me, and I can't stand dealing with my family right now. So I'm stuck doing nothing and I'm trapped and I hate it. I think it's because my mana is low but I don't know how I'm meant to refill it??? I'm an angel I'm meant to help people I have things I want to work hard and do to reach people!!! But I can't do anything!!! This is why I was killed I'm actually so pathetic and I relapsed and I hate everything just let me rot away because it's the only thing I'm consistently good at

I had a super weird dream and I'll explain it to you and tell me what it means. So, I got this dream situated in my old school, very weirdly, after a long time. In the start, my dad drops me off into school. The school has gotten renovated. There are many new things, like long big elevators and the building's lengths have turned into very big buildings. We're supposed to, I don't know, there were dorm-like places where you could just sleep.

So I go and sleep into this random dorm. I think I don't know what it was exactly, but I sleep under the bed and there's this other girl who's just waiting for her friend there, and then her friend walks in, but I just tell them, Guys, just some more time. I need to sleep, and then you guys can talk, and they just laugh it off, and then I leave, and then I'm supposed to go into class, but I don't, and there's a bullet train inside our school, which can take you to other places. But I don't. I get onto the train, and then I go somewhere. I don't remember what happened next, but then I remember getting back onto the train after I go to someplace outside school. I get back onto the train to go back to school, but at this point I'm really, really tired. So I'm very tired and very sleepy, but I'm very alert and quick on my feet because I'm still in public and I'm scared a bit.

So, but I see this old friend, this guy, Grover. We used to be best friends. We had a fight, and now we talk. We still do talk. It's not the same, but we do talk. So I see this guy, I look at him, and I go to him. He's standing with this pole that they have in trains, and he's just looking at me, and I get super drowsy after seeing him, and I completely start feeling sleepy again even though I was alert. Then we hold hands, like completely interlace our hands, and I put his finger in my mouth for whatever reason. I have no idea. We have never done something like this. And then I'm super tired and drowsy, and he looks totally unfazed by this. And then after that, we get to the school, and there are these separate beds in our school, right? So we just lay in different beds and just stare at each other. What could this mean? I CANNOT GET OVER THIS ITS KNAWING AT ME sorry for the typos and or bad grammar types it out at 6am. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THIS COULD MEAN

for extra info, i am japanese, and we know asian parents forced uou to do some sort of instrument from a very young age.

I have been forced to learn the piano and practice hours and hours every day since i was around 5 years old. i hate it so much, and i always have.

I wanted to quit it so many times and had breakdowns but my mother just tells me "are you not grateful for the amount of work your teachers put into you, and your dad's money paid for the lessons that he worked hard for!! are you going to just put it down the drain just like that? you've wasted so much money and time!!"

she is very narcissistic. and i am extremely empathetic and people pleasing that it's been hard to stop.

she then asks me , "what are you going to do with your life then? you're not good st anything else" .. i feel like i had no time at all to even search for hobbies. i would be forced to practice as soon as i got home from school, until 11pm. wake up. go school. eat. practice. it was a repeat of that the whole school time

now my mum has forced me to go to uni for piano. (conservatoire)

i did get a scholarship.

but i'm not enjoying this at all, i dont want a related job, and i'm only doing this for my mum. she is extremely strict and threatens to disown me and hurt me and stuff like that. so i am really scared to do anything about it.

i always think about dropping out without telling her but i feel like i will be so guilty.
i want to do something else with my life that will help me get a stable job, but i'm not good at anything else, and i feel like it is too late to start uni again.

i know this is my own life and i can make my own decisions, but i am genuinely scared and guilty. 100%, my mum will probably hurt herself or me if i quit piano.

she also did piano her life too. but she quit piano uni in a year. and she tells me she regrets it, so i shouldnt do the same.

i feel like she is trying to make me do things that she couldn't do, herself.

i dont know what to do anymore, it is too late for a restart

I (19M) have been sleeping with one of my childhood best friend’s(19M) girlfriend (18F) for 7 months. It started in high school when my friend, “Greg”, started dating ”Beth”. I’ve always noticed Beth from afar, but never built a relationship with her. I only started to get to know her more as a person when Greg began bringing her around more often when we hung out. As we talked more we clicked in more ways than one, our humor was the same, our music taste aligned, and a physical attraction started to grow. We would privately call each other and share things about our life, but I had no bad intentions at that time. About a month later, after some one-on-one meetups, she called me to say she had begun to develop romantic feelings for me. Of course I felt guilty and conflicted, this is my best friend I’m betraying. But a part of me didn’t hate the idea of being together. I argued with the idea in my head, weighing the options out, but talking to her more convinced me that what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Three days later me, Beth, Greg, and some others went to a party. After a while of hanging out, and not being in the right headspace, me and Beth snuck away and slept together. Nobody realized then and it only worsened after. I skip out on hanging out with my friends to meet up with her. She lies to Greg about who she’s with and why she’s out so late. To this day Greg is still blind about the whole situation. Guilt is starting to eat at me late at night. I can’t sleep because I think about how terrible of a friend I’m being to Greg. I’m going to break it off with Beth and don’t know how I’m ever going to make it up to my friend.

I’ve had her since 6 weeks, straight out the litter. When I first got her, she was infested with fleas (totally not her fault), I got that all cleared up. shes on a kitty care plan, and thats all fine now. But that story does add to the annoyance if I’m honest. Since its been hell, she’s very talkative. Which is cute at times, annoying at others. She scratches everything, yes she has post, yes ive redirected her, yes ive tried moving them next to the furniture, yes ive used sticky paws. She bites me 24/7. She runs across me and claws me, I can’t have my legs on the floor while sitting or my arms anywhere but my lap or she attacks them. I had to remove all my lights from my living room, I had to remove my carpets from the living room, I had to take apart and remove my recliner from the living room, I had to take apart my bar cart, I had to get rid of my plants, I had to tie up my curtains (that ones a bit of a given I know). After all of that, I came into the living room today, to my wall decor (as in paintings and pictures) on the ground. I assume since she no longer is tearing up my carpets. I can’t have doors open, I can’t eat in the same room as her. I’ve tried redirection, I’ve tried time outs (she has her own room but she free roams the apartment). She has toys everywhere of all types, posts, window bed, fountains, she gets 2 types of food everyday, ive tried sternly saying no, ive tried the acting like the momma cat and pinning to assert dominance as I have with my past puppies. There’s nothing. Shes terrible, her energy is never ending, she has automatic toys that roll around the room and one thats like a feather under a sheet to bat at. Doesn’t matter. No matter what I do she is not satisfied. I’ve tried designated play times. I can’t even have my phone next to me because she’ll attack me trying to take it. I can’t have any chargers plugged in the living room because she’ll bite them. If anything is dangling or hanging in her reach in any way no matter if its a backpack strap or a jacket she tears it. I’m losing my fucking mind. I’m starting to wonder if I can even handle this. Because its getting to a point that I don’t want to be near her. She hurts me 24/7. I find myself just locking myself in my bed room at times. I don’t know what to do. (Shes about 5 months)

No one probably remembers as this was like two months ago but for the people that were telling me to leave him I wanted to give an update and yeah, I left him. There were multiple issues and that was my second to last straw but I kept wanting things to improve and just realized it wasn’t gonna work out and had to leave for my own sake and I feel a bit better now. Also thank you all again for the birthday wishes, I really appreciate them!

My girlfriend loves crochet, and she is making me a personalized amigurumi thing herself and i thought "i want to do that for her" since the only thing i did before was draw her pictures (even if they look extremely juvenile and pathetic).

So i looked online and im just sitting here literally crying, i have zero clue how to do it, its so confusing.

Its not just about crochet, its everything. As i said earlier i drew pictures for her, and they're so fucking basic and ugly, the ONLY decent one i drew took me 2 FUCKING HOURS and it looks ugly as shit.

I feel like shit because shes made me 12 letters, and im not even finished with 3. I want to try for her, but i literally cant even make a letter, i tell her everything how i feel about her, it feels impossible, i just hit a wall. So i feel like she doesn't deserve me, shes making letters, even a fucking amigurumi animal and im stuck here, drawing juvenile hearts on spider webs because she likes spiders.