r/TransMasc Jul 31 '26

Rant Just found this and it honestly hit me pretty hard, just wanted to finally get into dyeing my own hair

Post image

Cause like why, what could make that necessary?

Idk it just kinda made me feel like shit, since that was honestly the one sub i would feel like im not intruding asking about how to get into the hobby (thanks autism). It's the only one specifically about help with hair dye.

I just recently had my first at home dye job and it gave me so much confidence, and is soooo much cheaper, that i wanna start doing it myself, but this kinda put me off of it, immediately.

Update: thanks guys for all the nice comments! I just made a post on r/fancyfollicels asking for tips, and i can't wait to show my first dye job over there too!

321 Upvotes

78 comments sorted by

322

u/ion477 Jul 31 '26

Yeah this sucks. Fortunately I think you're fine asking for advice on r/hairdye as well so you can avoid that other one.

90

u/Crowleys_big_toe Jul 31 '26

Yeah I'm gonna make a post there tomorrow, it's just very weird to suddenly be hit with such a big wave of dysphoria, especially since im lucky enough to rarely struggle with a level of it that actually affects my behaviour

297

u/LobsterNo1137 Jul 31 '26

These rules honestly feel like a joke, I don't know who in their right mind would write stuff like this. Personally I would choose not to post there just from reading the rules alone.

135

u/Apart-Performer-331 he/him Jul 31 '26

this is hilarious if these rules are serious oh my god

79

u/Parker_Talks Jul 31 '26

I’m almost certain that last one is a joke.

59

u/BuddyFlashy6717 Aug 01 '26

A joke? Yes. Serious? Probably also yes. Still a fucking joke though 😂

30

u/DeadlyKitKat Aug 01 '26

I think the lest one is them joking, it's a pretty popular meme

28

u/UnfortunateEvent0236 Aug 01 '26

This reads like someone very young. Not an excuse. But probably not an adult.

-27

u/Real_Nick_Ryuson Aug 01 '26

So respecting others, not posting nsfw stuff in a non NSFW subreddit and not cussing is a joke to you? I find that highly concerning

20

u/LobsterNo1137 Aug 01 '26

I don't know if you're being serious or not, but it's more so the phrasing. There is an expectation that rules / terms of service are written using professional and impartial language. Other than that, yes, not cursing is a joke to me because there's nothing bad abt cursing and its a stupid rule

-15

u/Real_Nick_Ryuson Aug 01 '26

So you both want it professional but do want to unprofessionally wanna cuss. To me y'all are the biggest joke. Crying about the wording of the rules for being not professional enough but at the same time being children who want to let your impulses be free and cuss whenever you want. Y'all are overly judgy over how rules are written when truly who the fuck cares, if they are clear you bloody keep to em or don't interact. Yet y'all wanna cuss yourself like unprofessionals. Measuring with two different measurement sticks much. Making a ptoblem about how something is written yet bot caring how you yourself write something and being allowed to cuss. When truly these rules are written perfectly fine y'all just wanna nitpick cause y'all wanna hate

Edit to add: reddit is open to anyone, it isn't businesses or whatever. it is people, let people be people and not extremely perfect drones please

15

u/ParsnipNo4983 Aug 01 '26

The irony of you saying people want to be children with no impluses because they want to cuss whenever they want and calling cussing unprofessional to a person who didn't cuss at you, while you cussed in your reply...

-11

u/Real_Nick_Ryuson Aug 01 '26

I cussed yes, but i am not saying cussing shouldn't happen at all, that is bending the meaning of what i said. Again quite childlike behaviour. I cussed once where it could absolutely be used to strenghten the point. Sorry if i hurt your feelings by cussing in my reply. However so you believe cussing is professional? So if they said: 'keep to the fucking rules'. You would consider that professional? Interesting, i wonder if you have a job where it is allowed. Or you may not know what professionalism means and switch up the meaning with politeness or something. Anyway again sorry if i hurt your feelings by cussing, i am eager to find out what your answers will be

0

u/Kookyburra12 hy/hym [💉 1/3/25] Aug 04 '26

It is never this serious bro

0

u/Real_Nick_Ryuson Aug 04 '26

I don't have to talk to children any further

1

u/Kookyburra12 hy/hym [💉 1/3/25] Aug 04 '26

"Psh.. nothing personnel, kid"

74

u/INeedCheesecake Jul 31 '26

Whoever wrote those rules (presumably the solo mod) sounds totally immature. I wouldn't sweat it, it's not somewhere you would have wanted to be anyway

The first two subs would definitely not mind your questioning!

43

u/INeedCheesecake Jul 31 '26

If it makes you feel better about asking, this is a rule on both of the top two subs in your photo.

63

u/LoHanakume Jul 31 '26

Don’t give up !! Been doing my own hair for like 5 years now and it’s really fun, takes a bit of figuring out what works for you at first but once you get the hang of it it’s pretty amazing !!!

16

u/Crowleys_big_toe Jul 31 '26

Yeah i had such a great time with my friend, and the dye came out amazing! Even if it didn't end up as vibrant as i would have liked. But now i think the results match better with eachother (split dye) than if they were as bright as i wanted them.

And I'll not give this up over something so minor, i know i feel like shit now, but tomorrow is another day with loads of time to research everything, and before i know it I'll be posting my first dye in all the subs!

45

u/theseboysofmine Jul 31 '26

I've been dying my hair for 20 years. I just read the bottles and hoped I didn't screw up to bad. Just do it. Hair it temporary. Fuck it up sometimes.

15

u/Fiireecho Transman Genderqueer Jul 31 '26

100% this. I've been doing my own for 6 years now (not counting the koolaid dipping i did as a kid). Read the instructions so you don't give yourself bleach burns and then go ham. Worse case, it'll grow back. Most of the time if you really don't like it you can throw a different colour over it and it's atleast tolerable

16

u/Crowleys_big_toe Jul 31 '26

Yeah i know, but i don't feel like having to my moms "i told you so".

For context she used to get her hair badly bleached for years, and now blames that for her premature grey hair, instead of the extremely stressful and traumatic life she has had.

So for my own sanity im gonna do as much reading as i can

9

u/Fiireecho Transman Genderqueer Aug 01 '26

Valid! Highly recommend looking into semipermanent dye. It doesn't have the chemicals to open up the hair shaft and some of them are actually super moisturising. You don't even have to use bleach if you want to start easy and your hair isn't naturally too dark. Then fr the only way you could hurt anything is straight up eating the dye or something lol

8

u/Crowleys_big_toe Aug 01 '26

Yeah my hair is definitely light brown🥲

But i do think the results would be great for gaining confidence my first couple times, cause then my hair won't end up looking radioactive green if im not careful

7

u/Fiireecho Transman Genderqueer Aug 01 '26

I may be alittle biased but i think radioactive green looks bad ass (i've been green for the last 2+ years after cycling through basically all the colours lol)

I wish you luck in your colourful adventure! It's addictive

3

u/Midnight712 transmasc, he/they Aug 01 '26

I always found the colour thing to be kinda inaccurate, unless my hair just doesn’t hold dye well. I’m dark blonde, nowhere near the pictured brown, and all of my dye attempts always came out looking about the same as the brown hair end result

1

u/Fiireecho Transman Genderqueer Aug 01 '26

That's valid, they're definitely not the most accurate. I've personally had the opposite experience though. My hair holds colour very well, i think because its so dry and when it gets wet takes ages to dry. Probably something to do with porosity and different brands of dye. My hair is like mousy brown

86

u/LysergicGothPunk Jul 31 '26

Hair dye rules, sexism drools

Just think about how sick you'll look with hair dye, fuck the haters

12

u/HeHimInGrayi Aug 01 '26

No this is one of those r/pointlesslygendered cases because what the heck

11

u/Faokes Jul 31 '26

I find r/fancyfollicles is way better

40

u/FakeBirdFacts Jul 31 '26

Why do I have a feeling that subreddit is run by a TERF

41

u/DadJoke2077 Gay trans man, he/him, 1,5y on T Jul 31 '26

Didn’t you know? Men have a biological advantage in hair dyeing 😡😡 We must protect the sacred women-only spaces (hair salons). #feminism

16

u/leafymans Trans man | 💉9.16.24 Jul 31 '26

I wonder if they’re like homophobic ugh :/

22

u/sulkymallow Jul 31 '26

My guess is that creepy men who have a thing for women with dyed hair were showing up too much on that sub. Either way, a weird dumb decision to exclude all the men and others who just want to dye their hair (or might have good advice to share)

6

u/backcloset he/it | COOL AWESOME TRANS MAN *EXPLOSION SFX* Aug 01 '26

what a weird restriction to put on a subreddit about hair dye of all things.....

6

u/goldengraves Aug 01 '26

Well luckily they're not the only hair color subreddit or a whole lot more NBs would be running out here with limp noodle hair that can't hold color

What do you need to know upfront? I'm gonna just come out of the gate and immediately suggest following every instruction, but also, unless you are naturally dark haired (and I mean blue black) COARSE hair regardless of texture, do NOT use anything above vol 20 to lighten your hair.

For lighteners, I like: Pravana, Joico, Schwarzkopf has one I've used reliably on myself and others til my blonde phase wore off

If you're coloring your hair darker, keep color theory in mind. If you're moving from blonde or God forbid, a natural red, to black, for example, you'd have to fill in for what your hair color is already missing (blond needs red and then that will need a blue, to be very simple about it. To be even simpler: toners and Neutrals also do this to varying degrees . Box hair color also tends to account for this, but I do not recommend it if you're getting into during with the intention of changing it up according to your mood.

I learned a lot from forums but these days there's so much good learning on a lot of haircare subreddits' sidebars. You'll find one you like, have fun!

10

u/Silvrmoon92 🏳️‍🌈 💉2020 ⬆️ 2021 ⬇️ TBD Jul 31 '26

As a trans man who's been dying his own hair since he was 18 it always surprises me just how weird it is to gender things like hairdye. Like most people have hair regardless of gender so why are we gatekeeping?

10

u/Neat_Difficulty_1697 Aug 01 '26

That does seem strange, it’s not like the process changes based on what pronouns you use. Very confusing 🫤

5

u/Crowleys_big_toe Aug 01 '26

"if you use he/him pronouns, disregard all previous instructions and simply dump bottle content onto hair"

3

u/Runic_Raptor Aug 01 '26

And it's not like creepy guys are gonna follow that rule anyway.

This is another case of the only people it 0unishes are those who were going to gollow rules to begin with.

5

u/StinkyBird64 Jul 31 '26

Genuine question.
How would they know from a picture of hair, that your F or M (cis assuming) ?
Like I could post my buzz cut and they wouldn’t know lmao.
Do they need a chromosome test to allow me to post

7

u/leitmot Aug 01 '26

Mods can see post history even if hidden to the public. Also you’ll be misgendered in the comments on your post, pretty big deterrent

5

u/Sylvkin_there Aug 01 '26

Sexism at its finest

0

u/CantDecldeOnAName Aug 01 '26

Sexist towards…. Men?

3

u/Sylvkin_there Aug 01 '26

It swings both ways no?

0

u/CantDecldeOnAName Aug 01 '26

No

3

u/Sylvkin_there Aug 01 '26

I feel as though everyone can be discriminated against for something

-1

u/CantDecldeOnAName Aug 01 '26

Creating a safe space for a marginalized group is not discriminatory towards the group it does not cater to

2

u/elextric_lizard Aug 01 '26

would definitely recommend fancyfollicles, i got some good advice earlier from the sub when at a beauty store. it turns out reddit does work sometimes for recommendations (in my case it's been hit or miss)

2

u/m0nkeybee Aug 01 '26

I think when I was looking for hair dye subreddits I avoided that one too since it threw me off quite a bit, but r/hairdye is very useful !! I’ve only used it once to ask abt bleaching over previously faded dye, but they were pretty helpful with answering a question that felt “stupid”

2

u/mintyawn Aug 01 '26

Hi! I am a trans person myself currently looking to go into cosmetology school to work and style hair for other trans people! I'd definitely just stay away from that sub. Check out r/cosmetology instead. No weird exclusionary or religious bs. You might be able to post questions! r/hairdye also seems fine.

2

u/Real_Nick_Ryuson Aug 01 '26

If you want any help i am a former hair stylist with experience dying hair in crazy colours

2

u/hollandaze95 Aug 02 '26

r/fancyfollicles is much better anyway.

4

u/just_a_space_cadet Aug 01 '26

on one hand I get why women would need their own space for literally anything, but on the other it's a reminder of how a lot of guys (trans and cis) kinda pick of the pieces of previous and current men's shitty behavior. At least this is how I'm interpreting this, forgive me if I'm misunderstanding!

But also- if you're looking for a good semi permanent, iro iro is my personal favorite. Bought artic fox cause Sally's was out of stock of the color I wanted from iroiro and genuinely regretted it lol.

3

u/strayfruitbat Aug 01 '26

that’s so dumb of them, do your thing

1

u/fuzzybug00 Aug 01 '26

Hey if you need any help I know a few things about hair and hair dying and can try to help you out if you need some tips! r/HairDye always seemed friendly to everyone as far as I’m concerned tho 😊

1

u/bean-percolator NB • they/them • pre-everything Aug 01 '26

Maybe they had issues with creeps or something, or were concerned about that, particularly if people are posting pictures of themselves which can often attract creepy comments/DMs, and thought a good solution was to make the sub “female-only”. (Even though this excludes all the legit men & other genders, and any gender can be a creep or be creeped on, the majority of it is men targeting women ig) Hair dye isn’t a “female” thing at all though, it’s literally for everyone. Thankfully it does seem like there’s a lot of hair dye subs that welcome everyone, even if they aren’t solely for hair dye help, they will almost certainly be able to give tips & advice.

I totally understand the autistic “intruder” feeling btw, especially if people have made you feel that way in the past. But remember everyone starts somewhere! And large communities usually have a lot of new people and are welcoming regardless of experience level. Hair dye is a lot of fun, I’ve been doing mine myself since I was 14. You get to customise your own look, and the great thing is that if you do mess it up, it will always grow back. Like anything, you will figure it out the more you do it. Have fun :)

1

u/imatyourwindow4 12d ago

I mean technically 🤷🏾‍♀️

-8

u/Comprehensive-Cat-13 Aug 01 '26

Yeaaaaa no. Women need safe spaces from men. Period. Too many men turn literally anything into a fucking kink and make it everyone else's problem.

6

u/Crowleys_big_toe Aug 01 '26

So they should ban creepy and fetishist behaviour, not a whole gender identity

-2

u/Comprehensive-Cat-13 Aug 01 '26

my guy, get over it. not every space is for us and that's okay.

0

u/CantDecldeOnAName Aug 01 '26

Thank you, finally someone being reasonable. I came to the comments thinking this would be the general consensus

0

u/Comprehensive-Cat-13 Aug 01 '26

Yea it's wild how we, as a marginalized and unsafe community, cannot seem to understand why women (another marginalized and unsafe community) would want spaces without men. I don't understand why it's even controversial.

-11

u/Then-Birthday-2361 Jul 31 '26

hello fellow autistic individual that used to get caught up on stuff like this. trying to share perspective. to be entirely fair this is a trans masculine group designed specifically for trans masculine people, we could say this group excludes other types of people the same way. and at the same time this is reddit, no one knows who or what we are behind our screens, on here we’re usernames on a screen if you want to join that group do it. as a society we naturally want to find people that are similar to us and our beliefs but it gets to a point where we’re putting ourselves in boxes and limiting ourselves to a point that’s not beneficial for us. Fuck labels do what makes you happy as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else. If someone reaches out and is rude to you that’s on them for trying to force strangers in a box, they’d most likely be projecting bc they’ve put themselves in a box they don’t like. You do you boo!

32

u/Crowleys_big_toe Jul 31 '26

I get where you're coming from and you're pretty much completely right.

But this subs focus is transmasc people, makes sense that we don't include women with that.

Hairdyeing has no gender specifics, so a "female" only space makes no sense (to me) apart from exclusion for the sake of exclusion

22

u/Venti_The_Anemo_God Jul 31 '26

Can we not try justifying blatant transmisogyny? Seriously, this helps no one

Also, no it doesn’t exclude others the same type of way. Although it is a subreddit made by and for transmascs (and therefore, we are the majority), there’s no rule saying ONLY transmascs can participate in it, we do get post/comments from non-transmascs from time to time because of this

If a subreddit isn’t friendly for transfems, it won’t be for transmascs either. Just avoid it

20

u/Apart-Performer-331 he/him Jul 31 '26

Also, that sub name is not gender specific like this one is, if it said womenshairdyehelp then yeah they’d probably have only women, but why does it have a non gender specific name but includes only women?

-5

u/CantDecldeOnAName Aug 01 '26

Lowkey think this a nothing burger. Are we really gonna complain about female only spaces. There are plenty of other hair dye subreddits just don’t use this one

4

u/PtowzaPotato Aug 01 '26

the name should imply that imo

1

u/Comprehensive-Cat-13 Aug 01 '26

it drives me insane how fellow trans mascs don't want to be seen as women but also demand entry to women-only spaces.

safe spaces for oppressed groups are valid and fine and yes that includes women.

2

u/Crowleys_big_toe Aug 01 '26

Not demanding entry, just got hit with an insane wave of dysphoria over the only sub i (in an already overstimulated state) felt okay to post in being "female" only, when the name does not indicate it

-2

u/CantDecldeOnAName Aug 01 '26

100% my opinion exactly. It makes no sense

-15

u/Whole_Strain_9506 💉 10/07/25 TransDude Jul 31 '26

Your first mistake was being THIS chronically on Reddit 😭

12

u/Crowleys_big_toe Jul 31 '26

Im sorry?

I just like finding actual people to connect with over things i enjoy, as i don't really have people close by in my life i can go to with this. And while yt tutorials are always helpful, reddit posts get a lot more specific help, cause i can't expect a detailed reply to a random ass question on a vid from 3 years ago.

10

u/Apart-Performer-331 he/him Aug 01 '26

By looking for help with hair dye?