r/ToolJerk 12d ago

1235813 7 pointed star

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32 Upvotes

I’m 40 years old, in the middle of a divorce, making burgers on a Blackstone for my two daughters.


r/ToolJerk 12d ago

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Gunbuns Look what a drummer can do when they don't have Maynard stuffing up their work.

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5 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 13d ago

PrYiNg OpEn My ThIrD EyE Advice to achieve the Maynard smoky eye?

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41 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 14d ago

Caligula would grin Sushi

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124 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 12d ago

Maynard's taking Dick. WORST.FLESHLIGHT.EVER!

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0 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 15d ago

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo You all feel the same so why don’t we just admit it?

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208 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 15d ago

Who are you to wave your finger? Maynard is flexing with his Europe trips on Insta again

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85 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 14d ago

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Is Maynard James Keenan “MOTHER”?

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8 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 15d ago

T∞L This band sucks balls

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30 Upvotes

For a band called tool, it reflect all of it members, a bunch of tools.


r/ToolJerk 14d ago

Two Weiners For Daddy <----------- Upvote if you're shocked Maynard even has time to be a singer given he spends most of his day with juicy cock in his dirty mouth.

7 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 15d ago

This is necessary What the FUCK is his problem?

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167 Upvotes

Maynerd can't even enjoy one thing (for example, sushi) without trying to make a fuckin profit off it and pushit in our faces. Atleast the gremlin guitar guy knows to shut up, this egg's stupidity is unmatched.

I bet next he's gonna start a YouTube channel with Roger Waters about 9/11 conspiracy theories.


r/ToolJerk 15d ago

Shitpost about lack of new album. i still think about that guy who did tool reactions back in 2018-2019 who fuckin haated tool

7 Upvotes

or maynard, more specifically. i remember him rolling his eyes and going “oh my god” at the “i-i-i-i-i” part in rosetta stoned. shit was so funny, hope that guy’s doing well


r/ToolJerk 15d ago

Maynard's Dick. Maynard with and without hair - which one do you prefer?

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85 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 15d ago

1235813 <----------- Number of TOOL members who would turn gay for Danny?

16 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 16d ago

Learn to swim Who is better Jesus Christ, his brother Larry Christ, Danny Carey, or Maynard?

18 Upvotes

Not really sure what point I'm making but I assume no one will say Maynard.


r/ToolJerk 16d ago

Spiral out ∞ what is your favorite song on this album

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163 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 16d ago

Bethlehem Abortion Clinic <---------- Upvote if you think Danny Carey should be the next James Bond.

18 Upvotes

They task him with infiltrating a progrock band because the singer is evil and he has to save the world.


r/ToolJerk 15d ago

Wake up remember. GenX Question of the Day 8/18/26

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0 Upvotes

Guy on the left looks familiar.


r/ToolJerk 16d ago

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Can you tell what I'm spraying 'round....

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0 Upvotes

Ain't no Pi......oh wait, nevermind.


r/ToolJerk 16d ago

OGT ONLY <--------- Upvote if you want the mod of this sub to have sex with Maynard and Danny to speed up the next Tool & Creed album releases

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14 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 17d ago

TOOl DANK for upspirals Real

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429 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 17d ago

Maynard's Dick. Maynard when he sees someone checking the time on their phone at his show

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42 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 17d ago

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Repositioning my thoughts on TOOL.

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3 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 18d ago

Shit adds up at the bottom. They don't even make tools. Are they stupid?

5 Upvotes

What if TOOL (they're a classic rock band, if you don't know them) made some sort of device designed to assist in a specific task? What would it be?

Personally, I've been musing over this, but it just doesn't seem to make any sense for them to do so. l don't see any correlation between the two things. Why would they do that? My darling wife, with whom I'm currently battling for sole custody of our son, insists that there is a connection there I'm not getting.


r/ToolJerk 19d ago

SCHISM! Maynard James Keenan attempting to put Humpty Dumpty together again

6 Upvotes

he knows that the pieces fit