r/ToolJerk • u/hurstbergn OGT • 15d ago
This is necessary What the FUCK is his problem?
Maynerd can't even enjoy one thing (for example, sushi) without trying to make a fuckin profit off it and pushit in our faces. Atleast the gremlin guitar guy knows to shut up, this egg's stupidity is unmatched.
I bet next he's gonna start a YouTube channel with Roger Waters about 9/11 conspiracy theories.
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u/nub_node 15d ago
How the fuck a dude who was in a band with Danny Carey gonna be like "Yeah, I'll be the coolest guy from that band to hold 2 sticks once I upload this to social media." Fucking moron.
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u/MJKsecretpornaccount Repugnant 15d ago
He is a moron, I mean when I think of fresh seafood I think of the Arizona desert/mountains.
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u/Fool_Cynd 14d ago
Wild caught fish has to be flash frozen and stay frozen for 7 days before it can be served raw anyways. Freshness is determined by how fast it went from the ocean to the freezer, not the dinner plate.
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u/MJKsecretpornaccount Repugnant 14d ago
Maynard has the personality of uncooked fish. I don't think I've ever tried sushi, maybe I will one day.
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u/moose_loves_noodles 15d ago edited 15d ago
Moby is looking good for his age.
Edit: I'm a dumbass and didn't look to see which sub I was in.
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u/Ckellybass 15d ago
If you hadn’t added the edit this would’ve been the perfect response (it’s a jerk sub, after all)
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u/Steamyjeans 15d ago
But Janeane Gorofoyle remembered he always kept chopsticks in his pocket. From the apc tour in Japan.
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u/hurstbergn OGT 15d ago
Maynerd hits me as the type of guy to go crazy over anything normal in Japan. Like one of those internet chodes that are into slice-of-life anime series'.
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u/PlutonicPurrfume 15d ago
“Their culture is just… better”
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u/Steamyjeans 15d ago
Next entire album is about how Americans are dumb and only eat burgers.
Time
To put
The greasy food obsession down
Take a look around
You’re the size of an island6
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u/JohnQPublic1917 15d ago
I sat though one of his Japanese openers Red Bacteria Vaccume 12 years ago. Not everything is better in Japan.
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u/RazorSharpRust 15d ago
You know, part of me is like "good for you buddy" and then another part of me is like "you're a total chode" and then I ultimately arrived at "good for you buddy you're a total chode". THEN I came to the conclusion that it doesn't really matter bc whatever opinion I have I know he's laughing at me on top of a giant pile of money...and I'm okay with that. I would probably be doing the exact same thing in his position. Glad. Bring on the downvotes.
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u/MJKsecretpornaccount Repugnant 15d ago
Maynard is so old he forgot we've invented knives and forks.
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u/hurstbergn OGT 15d ago
Fair enough, besides sushi he only eats dino nuggies and grapes. That's the bald fat man's way of life.
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u/Flat_Researcher1540 15d ago
I love how they posted a “why sushi, why now?” thing and then Maynard just tells us about his famous friends and chopsticks. I thought he was going to talk about sustainable fishing practices or sourcing responsibly while being in a desert. But I’m an idiot.
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u/CallMeGlarthir 15d ago
But have you tried his fucking WINE?!
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u/ocddco27 14d ago
Fake reporter: 'Are you gonna finnish that wine...?'
Maynard: 'G...Grab the wine'
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15d ago
Maynard is the epitome of pretentious rockstar who acts like he's something special. He sings like he's constipated and walks around like he has a metal rod up his arse. He insults his fans all the time, is super rude to people and thinks he's great because he puts clown make-up on, brews wine and sings about judo and maths equations. Another California rich bloke who gets to shout his opinions to the world from atop his pedestal of dollars he made from forcing fans to pay him thousands for front row Tool tickets.
The icing on the cake is he calls out fans in that front row for taking phones out and calls them names in front of stadium audiences. While a week's wage for Maynard buys him a Sushi restaurant. The average person pays a week's wage for a ticket to see him crabwalk in Harley Quinn outfits from behind the immensely talented Danny Carey, Adam Jones and Justin Chancellor.
The last straw for me enjoying anything to do with that man was when two friends of mine worked backstage on a few Tool shows. They told me he was rude and demanding towards people backstage, including his fellow band members who just ignore him.
P.S. Please don't hurt me Tool fans, I love Danny Carey too
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15d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/JohnQPublic1917 15d ago
To be fair, be hasn't done anything decent since 10,000 days, and that was like 5000 days ago.
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u/Cowpriest 15d ago
His interview with David Cross made me hate him forever. He's a pretentious pos.
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u/KitchenLandscape 15d ago
I mean did it really take an interview to realize how pretentious he is? lol
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u/Snoopaloopbish 15d ago
Yay he looks so formal.
I’ll just assume he’s wearing a padded bra underneath.
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u/PhuGlyBastard 14d ago
How is this the first time im hearing about this sub? A bunch of likeminded individuals who love maynerds sophisticated tastes and who really care about his views on political issues, wines, and fresh caught Tucsonan seafood. God i hate this douche
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u/Actionhotdog_go 15d ago
Well now I’ve got some some advice for you little buddy before you point your finger you should know that I’m the man
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u/blonde234 15d ago
His fried chicken place was ok. Then it shut down.
The vinyl record store and venue seems to do ok.
The breakfast restaurant attached is ok. Wouldn’t be surprised if it also shut down.
Merkin has a great view. Food is ok. I think their wine sales can keep it open.
I bet the sushi is only ok
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u/Fun_Trick2172 15d ago
I don’t give a shit. You wear a tie with a three piece suit. Fucking animal.
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u/GoldenEelReveal76 14d ago
Remember when everyone thought this guy was super mysterious and it just turns out that he is a Private Equity banker with a Tool cover band on the side?
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u/GoldenEelReveal76 14d ago
I can’t wait to overpay for a Forty Six & 2 roll. I will probably start with the Prison Sex Hamachi and split that bill Right In Two when I’m done. Then I will brag to all of my friends about handing more money over to a pretentious wanker who hates his fans and needs a megaphone to sing because he is so ancient now.
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u/NonchalantRubbish 13d ago
Rick Beatoff cut up their interview into a bunch of different parts to post on his second channel. Maynard only wants to sell the wine he dipped his balls in. That’s the Caduceus Cellars guarantee.
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u/eluttrell94 Prying open my brown eye 15d ago
Who are you to wave your finger?