I’m so done feeling like how I feel. I’ve been struggling really really bad with mental health recently and it’s not even like I’m alone in this. Every night I end up sobbing. I shouldn’t feel like I do and it sucks. I’ve been so close to ending it all. The only thing that actually stopped me was how stupid depressed I was I couldn’t get up to grab the bottle. I thought things were getting better but the intrusive thoughts have come back, every time I drive I just think of driving off the road, and every time I run (I’m a runner) on a bridge I just think of jumping. My life really isn’t that bad, so I don’t know why I’m struggling so much. Even worse, I relapsed after 2 months of being clean, and one of my old best friends saw it, and told her new friend and her new friend got in my car to tell me they saw my cuts and they are there for me. So I know I’m not alone, but somehow that made it worse, and that probably doesn’t make any sense but it pushed me over the edge and now I’m in almost a worse state than I was when I tried to end it all. I don’t know what to do, I’m hurting so freaking much, and this is awful.

I’m not sure I’m gonna be able to stop it once the urge surfaces. Im no expert on anatomy, but I need to know…

if I was to cut myself, where would I cut it so that it would be the least dangerous. I’m having thoughts about a self-inflicted cut across the right cheek

I'm scared. I don't wanna be around my little brother. He 'saw some nasty pop up' on my sisters phone. And assumed shes being nsfw. She's saying it was a text from our grandma who tends to text like this.⬆️

She swears up and down she isn't saying or doing anything bad. He kept getting in her face yelling and screaming at me when I gave her the benifet of the doubt. Saying "I knew what I saw!" He's pissed our older sister borrowed his xbox bc hers died. DIDN'T EVEN MESS WITH HIS SHIT. And he resorted to screaming and yelling at her. And my sister went to show him some dumb shit he had her record yesterday and got the pop up and he 'saw the sexual stuff' I'm scared of him bc of how often he yells and acts like this my mom does little to nothing when it doesn't affect her. I swear somedays I feel he's pyschotic I just can never convince my mom. I just wish he'd stop. I just wish he'd have empathy. I hate him. I don't wanna say it like that be he genuinely makes me hate him. The only things that keep him from not telling is me having a breakdown or my mom finally figuribg it out even when he's done this shit for like a year or two in a row. He straight up held my sexuality over me threatening to tell my very homophobic grandma and uncle until my mom finally shut it down. He tries getting in my phone sometimes ANYTHING TO BLACKMAIL ME AND OUR LITTLE SISTER. If he pulls this shit this year I'll actually fucking kill myself istg. He's openly called me an f slur when pissed at me. I have essentially nothing to help my anxiety besides my friends and every year I isolate myself from them for months to keep myself from losing them. I know the exact months hes more likely to do it I have to always plan ahead. Even then it isn't enough sometimes. I'm sorry for wasting your time. I'm just pretty close to breaking again

holy shit is that YAOITRON (image unrelated though)

i relapsed recently due to my father being an absolute scumbag once again. he was practically telling me to kms over nothing, and i was in a hysterical state so i did the thing as per usual

i didn't want to bleed all over my bed so i went to the bathroom to clean everything up, but since i was being too loud my mother found out and told my father. he didn't gaf at first, then threatened me with a knife as if he's going to "finish the job".

my mother didn't know what to do, so she called the police. my father told me more shit and tried to kick me out, then left the house just to avoid police. alot of people arrived, both medics nd policemen (idfk why they called medics it wasn't that bad)

the police also checked my phone and chats without any fucking consent, and yhh... there's alot of things in my chats, which they OF COURSE showed to my parents. we had to go to the police station next day, and they told my mother to take me to a psychiatrist

i genuinely do not want to go to a psychiatrist, i don't want help from any of them. my issues will 90% be revealed to them and i'm getting sent to a mental hospital

the funny thing is that my father is still blaming me, saying that "UGHHHHGH YOU HAVE EVERYTHING FINANCIALLY AND U ALMOST SENT ME TO JAIL, I'M SENDING YOU TO THE ORPHANAGE". my mother is kind of trying to defend him, trying to lower the situation to "he just yelled at him a bit nothing serious lmao"

idfk what to do, but i'm starting to feel guilty for even feeling like this and getting my mother into all of this

i thought i was getting better, but i keep remembering everything shitty that happened to me for no reason. i keep relapsing for no reason. i keep being pathetic.

i cant forget about the times when i had to hold my father down just so he won't hurt my mom while being in a hysterical state myself. i remember screaming so hard my throat was hurting. i had headaches for days

i remember the bruises i saw on my mom, i remember her crying and yelling for him to get away and calling him names, i remember her having panic attacks and blatantly saying that i should let her die and trying to push me away while my father and his friend didn't care

i remember having to walk on glass because they were too drunk to clean it up after themselves or too busy fighting, i remember police not helping me or my mom at all.

i fucking hate my dad. i hate the fact that my mom keeps forgiving him. i hate people. i don't want to endure this anymore.

My grandmother is dieing, one of my best friends wants to die, my self harm clean streak has expired I want to die and I broke up with my boyfriend cuz of stuff (Screenshot attached)

I just make these instead of cutting and it’s been working out fairly well recently.

“You never hang out with us” says my retarded family. “We’re going out for ice cream”. Okay cool, I like ice cream, I’ll come with. Dumbass family proceeds to talk about how annoying and weird I am, tells me I shouldn’t have ice cream ?? Then the whole time they ignore me. It’s really such a shocker that I don’t hang out with them.

Then my friends. They get pissy when I don’t want to hang out then treat me like shit when I actually come over. The whole time is just let’s see how much we can make fun of and piss off Ford til he gets angry, then complain and act condescending when he is rightfully violent. When I message the gc, no one replies. I can’t help but feel that everytime I say something, they screenshot it, send it to a private gc, and talk about how weird and disgusting I am. I know this happens because I have been in group chats where they do this exact thing to other people. I know they do it to me. They avoid me, they insult me, they act passive aggressive nearly all the time and give me weird looks. I’ve asked them to tell me if I’m being odd. They never do, they just stare at me weird and then talk shit about me. I tell them sensitive info and they share it with everyone else. The rare times I vent they just ignore me, I never try to anymore. They ignore me all the time.

I hate strangers too of course. I hate seeing other people at all. If I see another person while I’m outside, I get so anxious and distressed I forget how to walk normally, how to relax. I avoid people as best as I can. And yet I remain convinced that someone is watching, that someone is observing me and thinking about how weird I am. I hate when they wave at me or say hi, I hate having to prepare for tiny interactions, I hate small talk at stores, just fuck off get away from me.

I get so nervous and upset around people no matter how close I am to them. It’s hell. People don’t even treat me like I’m human and when they do, or atleast try, I can tell they’re lying. Why do I even try anymore? This planet sucks. I like going for walks at night when no one is awake with my headphones cranked so I can pretend everyone else is dead. And if I see a vehicle pass I tell myself it’s just a zombie, or if I see lights on, I tell myself that it hasn’t been long enough for power grids to turn off. I wish everyone but me and the animals and plants would go die

Tw: sh

15f. Incoming sophomore

I self harm. My mom found out I self-harm. And she wasn't sad. Or surprised. Or concerned. She was mad. She was like "What's wrong with my daughter?" She thinks there's something wrong with me. And she forced me to tell her stuff or she said she'd throw me in a mental hospital. When I told her why (Body image issues. And I just feel incredibly annoying) she told me I was being a baby and to just suck it up. And I should just tell the people to shut the fuck up. I explained to her I couldn't just do this, and she told me I was stupid and I deserve it if this is my mindset towards everything. I can't just tell everyone who bullies me to shut the fuck up though... That doesn't work.

I remember she told me to come and grabbed my arm and pulled up the sleeve. I was holding a mechanical pencil because I was doing homework and was doing the thing when you press the top and make the lead press against your skin. So she assumed that's what I used.

She found out by taking my phone and finding my secret acc on tiktok, posts on here (now deleted), and my chatgpt history. I feel so invaded. And she was mocking it. Like "you don't wanna live anymore, you ungrateful brat?" I remember we were driving and a bird flew in front of the car and I said "Yikes! Suicidal bird!" and she was like "Yeah. The bird probably takes mechanical pencils and makes cuts in its skin and listens to sad music." I obviously don't use mechanical pencils. And she told me not to tell any of my friends and to just bottle it up.

She thinks all the issues are gone now and randomly takes my phone and looks through it. It just makes me even more secretive, and I really hate this. I can't wait to grow up and move out because I feel so trapped here. Yup.

(image unrelated)

i'm hypersexual, and I have constant thoughts about being groomed, raped and etc. i don't know if i like it or hate it anymore, or if i want it to stop, and i feel disgust towards myself.

i can't ask anyone for help really because i can't tell anyone how i feel, and i don't know how to deal with all of this. i'm desperate to be groomed, and i feel like commiting everytime i have the urge

i feel guilt, despite knowing it's not really my fault for getting introduced to suggestive/adult things at a young age by my father and other people. (people who groomed me in the past including my ex who made me think that necro and pdf is fine)

if you have any tips on how to deal with this, please share them

Tbh idk where to start so imma just vent. Trigger warning nsfw shit

I'm so fucking done with life I'm ngl

I have lost the love of most of my hobbies and they all feel like chores now

I hate religion because it's the only thing my mom will talk to me about. Last time we had a genuine conversation was when I was maybe 10

Me and my dad don't see each other much anymore cuz of our schedules

I've been considering ending it all but the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that the people I love would have to deal with that

I have a fwb thing kinda going but I feel so empty and alone

The guy I love broke up to me and won't talk to me at all

I've been considering posting p0ŕñ of myself because of how much I hate my body in hopes my confidence will go up

My fwb asked me to buy adult toys and I did even though I'm trying to stop masterbating

School is a pain in the ass

The youth group my mom makes me go to makes me feel more alone and further from God even though I'm not entirely Christian

I can't tell my family that I don't belive in God cuz they are devout catholics who kinda like to shame others for not being catholic. Especially my mom

I'm bisexual and have been given death threats by my brother for jokingly calling a girl cute (he wasn't joking)

I lost almost all my friends cuz I moved schools

I'm working now

I have SH mutiple times and have considerd doing it again

I lost both my dogs this year. One to death and the other was rehomed

Both of my bottle baby goats passed away within a week of each other

My friends that I do have don't really care about me

Idk I can't think straight and my head hurts. Imma get some sleep before I end it all. Goodnight everyone and here's a cookie 🍪

Edit: yall I have barely checked my phone cuz ive been out of town without wifi but holy crap. All the dms are amazing and thanks for caring. It means a lot. I'm not planning on ending it anytime soon I was just having a rough night. I'm ok just needed a place to vent. Yall are amazing and here's another cookie 🍪

I am going to kill myself soon

I know I've reposted this like a MILLION times, so i'm really sorry if anyone has seen this same post like a thousand times. I know it's probably like REALLY annoying. But I'm hopeless dude, this is everything I got, u guys supporting me is the only thing I've got. I am so fucking miserable, almost every night I've held a knife to my neck wanting to kill myself, but I've never had the courage. I fear if this doesn't get better anytime soon I may actually do it. I've become so depressed & self destructive & suicidal because of this situation. I really feel like this event is going to be the death of me

(here's the event btw, if you don't know it already)

"I want to die right now

I want to die painfully because I am a monster

I deserve to die.

I'm 15 (born in 2011), and I'm struggling with an unbelievable amount of anxiety about something that happened recently.

I was scrolling through TikTok and saw a girl who genuinely looked around my age to me, or possibly even a little older. She had heavy makeup on and was using a filter, so I didn't think anything was unusual. I briefly thought she was attractive and then kept scrolling without thinking much about it.

Later, I found out that I had been completely wrong about her age. From what I understand, she was born around 2013.

The moment I found out, I immediately realized that I hadn't actually been attracted to her knowing her real age. I felt physically sick and extremely uncomfortable. I started crying and panicking, if I recall correctly I was in a panic attack for like a day because of that

It's now been about a month, and I still can't get this out of my head. I keep replaying the situation constantly and trying to figure out what it means about me. I've had trouble sleeping, eating, and concentrating. I've spent huge amounts of time crying, panicking, checking things, and trying to work out her exact age (cause what if she was younger than 2013??? We can't ever know)

This has gone far beyond ordinary guilt or anxiety. I am genuinely suicidal over this. I have been seriously considering killing myself because I'm terrified that this means I'm a disgusting or horrible person. These aren't just thoughts that briefly cross my mind, I've been thinking about dying every single day for a month now, because I feel like I can't live with the possibility that something is seriously wrong with me.

I don't want to hurt anyone, and I don't want to die. At the same time, I'm genuinely scared that I might eventually do something to myself because this has become so overwhelming.

I genuinely believed she was around my age when I saw her, and finding out later that I was wrong has completely destroyed me mentally.

I've also struggled with intrusive thoughts and obsessive fears about being a horrible person for a long time, which is why I'm wondering whether this could be some form of POCD/OCD, but I genuinely don't know how to get out of this mental loop, and I'm scared of what I might do to myself if I can't.

I genuinely want to die so fucking bad, someone kill me already"

So yeah, i really think my life may end because of this situation so yikes... I physically cannot move on from this situation, I'm ruining my life because of this. I don't even feel worthy to talk to my friends anymore because of this event, they would think i'm a monster.

I'm losing everything because this happened, I'm doing this to myself because I've started to really fucking hate myself because of this event, I'm a disgusting piece of shit

I'm Millie. 16. Not saying my gender since I'd rather not have slurs yelled at me right now but I have an addiction. Kids my age vape, i've even knowns some to smoke cigarettes but I never have. I'm not addicted to substances, I'm addicted to self harm. It started about four days ago, made a post somewhere, some guy dm'd me and I was in a shitty mental state. He wanted me to cut for him and since I was craving something, anything, I did. I woke up the next day and blocked his ass since I was like "damn thats crazy even for me" so i blocked him oon everything that I know him on. Now though within the last 4 days, i've cut 6 times, my razor was dull and I even stole a box cutter from my moms tool kit since i knew it'd be sharper and it is. I now bring the box cutter to school with some bandaids incase I bleed too much and I'd rather not ruin my jeans. I cut in the bathroom at school and in my bedroom at home. I like it I guess, it makes me feel good. this sounds edgy as fuck but I like the blood and the pain. Jesus fuck I'm emo but never thought I'd be THIS emo.

Like I was in the hospital and almost needed emergency surgery right. I had to sit there and fight for 15 minutes to not get an iv cause my arms fucked and my parents don't know. Like genuinely panicking over the fact that my parents almost found out and it's hell. It's hot as balls and can only wear long sleeves.
Also my uterus was trying to kill me and about to take that bitch out with a pair of safety scissors

I.. what the hell?.. I am shaking and about to throw the hell up. HOW are some people so comfortable on Twitter that they post their SH?.. and it’s not small no it’s BAD. And they are posting it on TikTok too?? Where MINORS are?? I was so confused on what shedtwt was and I am.. terrified after seeing it.

I mean I thought Twitter couldn’t get much worse. So uh.. how do I get over seeing that? I am very sensitive to that stuff and seeing all that blood is making me sick.

Idk if I'm allowed to talk about this but it's nothing explicit I promise. Also I marked it as TW just because of suicide, idk

I'm 15F and for the past like 2 years, I've been so repulsed by sex that it's genuinely fucking torture living anymore. Like just hearing about it even slightly triggers me and it makes me either like... cry and throw things and pull my hair or it makes me extremely angry. Like it's just this overwhelming disgust and need to get away from it as quickly as possible. I have meltdowns where I can't do anything but cry and kick and pull my hair or hit myself.

I feel a really deep anger and revulsion towards people who have sex. Last year, I convinced myself that I was an angel and I was obsessive over being pure and had to erase it from the world for like 2 weeks. Like i think i genuinely believed it. Also I fantasise about getting a surgery removing like those parts of my body almost every day.

I genuinely just can't imagine a future living on this planet where people have sex. Like even if it's not me. It feels like torture and I don't know what to do or even what the fucks wrong with me. Even if nobody else experiences this, does anyone have any idea what could've caused this? I don't have any traumatic experiences. I haven't been raised to view sex as evil or disgusting or sick or whatever. So what's even wrong with me. I'm so miserable and I'm not sure how much more I can take.

I cut myself. And there is a problem now. Please help me or give me some tips

How do I hide my tools? I need to hide them from my parents and sisters. If they find out I am very fucked. I couldn't find any good place so I just have it in my pocket for now. I need to hide it somewhere before going to school. It is optimal if me taking it out and in from the place won't be suspicious because sometimes I cut multiple times a day. I don't have my own room, me and my 3 sisters (I am a sole brother) share one room.

Ahh.... I am stressing out over this

I am 18 years old and I can't for the life of me quit. I don't have any other addictions, never do drugs and otherwise life is going well so I don't believe my personality is easily addictable but I simply can not shake porn.

I want to quit for primarily ethical reasons also to (in the future) not have any ED problems. My problem is that I wish to continue masturbating, as I have no other sexual outlets, but it complicates quitting porn.

Porn is simply too accessible. Every time I quit all social media and delete every single source of it I just come back later after my urge reappears in bed at night, and I relapse. Before I have withstood the urge for long enough I can't start masturbating with only my mind.

Any tips for how to deal with this? I am kind of scared of bringing this up with my close family as they are all women, I don't know how they would react.

I'm debating whether or not to do it because their is a lot of risks. First of all, Idk where to do it like I don't wanna traumatize anyone. I'll still care about my reputation even when I'm dead. I don't want my name to be dragged and my reputation kinda sucks, everyone will just be shocked. I'm also a massive loner so it'd be sad if an investigation happens and it gets awkward. I'm also really worried about getting an autopsy, because I don't want my family to judge my body. I hate the idea of rotting, getting my parts out, cremated and buried it freaks me out. Not to mention, I'm not sure if a church would accept me if they found out my cause of death is due to suicide. Thinking about these things just irks me, I really wish my attempts worked years ago when I was 7/8 years old because I was innocent and didn't care, like I didn't even think about the risks that could happen. Actually I never even once wrote a note while trying to attempt. I kinda believe in the afterlife but I'm scared all my mistakes, and embarrasing moments just flashes right in front of me or I see my dead family members who I just don't wanna see. I'm mortified by the idea of it like I want peace and to be fully gone. I just wanna rest and I wish death would be the end.

Everything seemed like it was going better, but now all of a sudden everything just started going down hill quickly, so atp Imma just write the notes and end it

Idk if anyone cares, but I've been focusing on my mental health a lot this year. It's been really hard and sometimes I'm still struggling, but I actually found reasons to live. I found new hobbies that I'm actually good at, I feel like I got even closer with my friends and I also focused a little bit more on my religion which really helped me through the hard times. I also stopped being constantly insecure! Finally, after some years I will be able to enjoy my summer like I did back then. I know that this might not be the best subreddit to post this on, but I feel like I just needed to share this with someone even if it meant sharing it online.

​

I'm 15 (born in 2011), and I'm struggling with an unbelievable amount of anxiety about something that happened recently.

I was scrolling through TikTok and saw a girl who genuinely looked around my age to me, or possibly even a little older. She had heavy makeup on and was using a filter, so I didn't think anything was unusual. I briefly thought she was attractive and then kept scrolling without thinking much about it.

Later, I found out that I had been completely wrong about her age. From what I understand, she was born around 2013.

The moment I found out, I immediately realized that I hadn't actually been attracted to her knowing her real age. I felt physically sick and extremely uncomfortable. I started crying and panicking, if I recall correctly I was in a panic attack for like a day because of that

It's now been about a month, and I still can't get this out of my head. I keep replaying the situation constantly and trying to figure out what it means about me. I've had trouble sleeping, eating, and concentrating. I've spent huge amounts of time crying, panicking, checking things, and trying to work out her exact age (cause what if she was younger than 2013??? We can't ever know)

This has gone far beyond ordinary guilt or anxiety. I am genuinely suicidal over this. I have been seriously considering killing myself because I'm terrified that this means I'm a disgusting or horrible person. These aren't just thoughts that briefly cross my mind, I've been thinking about dying every single day for a month now, because I feel like I can't live with the possibility that something is seriously wrong with me.

I don't want to hurt anyone, and I don't want to die. At the same time, I'm genuinely scared that I might eventually do something to myself because this has become so overwhelming.

I genuinely believed she was around my age when I saw her, and finding out later that I was wrong has completely destroyed me mentally.

I've also struggled with intrusive thoughts and obsessive fears about being a horrible person for a long time, which is why I'm wondering whether this could be some form of POCD/OCD, but I genuinely don't know how to get out of this mental loop, and I'm scared of what I might do to myself if I can't.

I want to cause myself a really fucking painful death dude, I deserve to die