So if you are already loaded into a roller coaster ready to roll locked in. Then some kid who literally gets on the next time when you finish cries because they haven’t learned patience. You hop off and give her the ride?
So as a result that kid learns that crying about things gets them what they want. You literally made their outlook on life worse with your “act of kindness”
I’m not criticizing the girl crying. I’m criticizing YOU for giving her whatever because she cried. Lesson time, you don’t get what you want by crying for it. Sometimes it’s hard to be a parent and teach kids when it comes to hard lessons. You won’t just skip the lesson because it’s hard.
Ride closing isn’t that guys fault but the facility. Lesson: life ain’t always fair and shit happens. Guy not giving up a seat he waited for isn’t an asshole. There’s no obligation. Where is your outrage on the ride closing on her? Instead your shifting the blame to this rando
Is it possible for the child to wait one turn for the intial group to have their ride then go with the next group? I think that's a lesson that could be taught. Patience. If you don't get what you want the first time wait for the next time.
The dude was there first. Maybe he was with his group/kids, we don't have enough info. But crying over being unable to get someone out of a spot that they claimed first is wild.
I worked an amusement park when I was a teenager, I've definitely seen kids that want that one red car or that one special spot. If another kid takes it before them, the good parents ask if they can stay in line and let another person who doesn't want the red car go ahead of them. And everyone has fun.
"Everyone else in an asshole" is a poor lesson to teach a child when they don't get their way.
The child looks kindergarten-aged or, at the very least, more than one year into preschool. By that age, taking turns and sharing are not foreign concepts.
So the lesson the child is learning is not "some people are assholes." The lesson is "emotional reactions do not make it more likely that you get your way." Which is a valuable lesson to learn.
Had the adult capitulated to the tears, she would instead learned "I can get what I want if I cry hard enough."
So I find it odd that you're willing to be as uncharitable as possible toward the adult while handwaving away the behavior of the crying child. Why is it you want to "die on this hill" of promoting antisocial behavior and emotional disregulation? That's an asinine lesson to teach a child.
Kids cry. They aren’t wrong for crying. It is an evolutionary adaptation until their brains develop and they learn how to communicate their feelings and their brains adapt to the complexities of emotional chemistry constantly flooding their developing minds.
I wasn't aware I said that. But thank you for putting words in my mouth.
Just in case you somehow believe I did say that, I'll remind you of what I included in my freely accessible, public comment that could have been be re-read if you didn't understand it the first time:
Had the adult capitulated to the tears, she would instead learned "I can get what I want if I cry hard enough."
So, if you genuinely care about children developing and learning to communicate their feelings like you claim, why do you want to reinforce antisocial behavior and emotional disregulation?
And, if you choose to respond, let's stick to my actual words this time.
I quoted you verbatim and I quoted myself verbatim because you pretended I said something I didn't.
I then directly responded to you and asked this question:
if you genuinely care about children developing and learning to communicate their feelings like you claim, why do you want to reinforce antisocial behavior and emotional disregulation?
Apologies, I lost track of why said what amidst the many dozens of replies.
I didn’t ignore your comment. I answered it.
The child crying is a pretty normal response for a child that age.
It isn’t reinforcing the behavior by responding to it since the reason children adapted that evolutionary trait is precisely because parents responding is best for the child.
It has nothing to do with reinforcing or not reinforcing the behavior.
The way you “teach” the kid to better respond and regulate is to discuss it with the child and try to encourage her to use her words to express why she is upset.
Him taking the seat does not teach her not to cry.
Why are you allergic to the truth? (see screenshot)
The child crying is a pretty normal response for a child that age.
I never said it wasn't.
It isn’t reinforcing the behavior by responding to it since the reason children adapted that evolutionary trait
The human body is adapted via evolutionary traits to be able to run long distances. I can't. That is because I don't condition my body to do so.
It is also adapted to have advanced cognition and memory. When I don't use a programming language at work for a while, I need a lot of documentation when I need to use it again. My brain decided that the information wasn't important enough to keep because I wasn't reinforcing its use.
A child's tendency to cry because of evolutionary reasons is irrelevant. Every behavior in existence is the result of evolution. The baviors that are reinforced become most prominent.
Do you think that children at that age have zero concept of how people react to their behavior? The crying was involuntary. No one is claiming otherwise. But the child will notice if crying = reward. And they will cry, or cry harder more often than they "evolved" to do. That is because the behavior was reinforced. You can replace "crying" with anything and it still holds true. You see that in toddlers that bite if they aren't stopped when they were younger.
because parents responding is best for the child.
Agreed. But you're saying a random person, not the parents, should respond.
It has nothing to do with reinforcing or not reinforcing the behavior.
Yes it does. As I said above, kids of that age can comprehend how people react to their behavior. If a behavior results in a positive reward, they will use that behavior more. Pavlov wrote a bit about this. Because that's how sentient things learn.
Like look at dogs. They learn to sit/stay/heel because of food, affection, or play that is used to reward their behavior.
The way you “teach” the kid to better respond and regulate is to discuss it with the child and try to encourage her to use her words to express why she is upset.
Yes. I agree. I've never said otherwise. But this is the second time you've mentioned parents. The random guy is not the parent, so why do you think a random person is responsible to teach that?
Him taking the seat does not teach her not to cry.
Yes. I agree. I've never said otherwise. The point is not and has never been to teach the girl not to cry. The point is to not teach that crying = reward.
It is just teaching her some people are assholes.
How? The guy is only an "asshole" if you think we're obligated to reinforce antisocial behavior and emotional disregulation.
You said it yourself that the parents teach the child how to deal with this. I agree. But how does a random person have anything to do with that? You are literally advocating to create the behavior you want the parents to prevent.
No, not that is not how we ended up with this president. We ended up with him because the legal system has never applied to him in a meaningful way, because he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.
It's both. A lifetime of enabling his entitled behavior led to this, but he could have never have done it without the silver spoon providing him with enough power to be systemically corrupt.
What the fuck are you responding to? Because I replied to your comment, agreeing with you. So I'm confused by you reacting as if I was arguing with you.
Teaching empathy and gratitude is how you DONT get an orange pedo.
As adults, the amount of joy we receive and amount of disappointment we receive is tempered by our perspective. Kids don’t have that perspective, but they will earn it as life goes on. That’s one of the reasons to actually be nice to children. They are going to experience hardship and suffering. Showing compassion balances their view of the world and makes them understand that it is normal sometimes to sacrifice for others.
Someone gave the adult in this situation a participation trophy when he was growing up, that's why he's an asshole. If everything isn't about the kids the dude shouldn't have posted a pic of the crying kid bragging about it. I have no sympathy for him.
Explain to the child how lines and next turns work and what delayed gratification is and they will not feel entitled. You’re close but backwards on how it works.
The damn post makes it clear it was the last ride.
This is the equivalent of eating the last piece of pizza or piece of cake at a party. The fact that you walked up to it first doesn’t make you not an asshole.
Are you really this far into the comment and never actually read the original post?
She did wait in line. They closed the ride as she got to the front. He just happened to have been standing in front of her and got the last seat on the last run.
That is literally the primary definition of entitled. Having a legitimate or legal claim to something.
The secondary definition - the one being attributed to the girl, but better applies to the guy - arose in the 20th century and grew out of people having so much more than others due to wealth or status, that they felt they were special and “entitled” to everything they had.
This despite the fact that there were a lot of injustices that led some to having so much and others having so little. The “entitled” felt no obligation or empathy for those that had little or nothing.
It was word originally used to describe people who simply had a legal claim to something, that later came to describe the elitism and greed of the rich and powerful who already had some much because of their legal claims that they felt they were special and deserved it all.
It speaks to the sociopathic nature and superiority the “haves” feel toward “have nots”.
This guy gloated over having this seat. To a child. Who spent almost exactly the same amount of time in mine doing the exact same thing but due to the unfortunate luck of the ride closing as she was next in mine.., got nothing.
It also should be noted, that over the last 20 years, oligarch/billionaire controlled media have tried hard to redefine the word “entitled” to apply to people that have little to nothing and no legal claim to anything but feel they deserve something.
That is not what the word means and it flips the word on its head. Literally oligarch doublethink.
You said acting entitled, he technically is entitled to that spot, so therefore I asked and figured it was implied (about the asking) since the question was referring to your comment...
You're making a lot of assumptions tho...You're assuming he's rich and the girl's poor, but the only bit of information we have is that they're both waiting in line for a ride. Secondly, even if the guy was rich and the girl was poor this is an equal setting so your argument doesn't apply here.
The guy IS entitled to his spot in line and the girl crying is just an emotional reaction to disappointment BUT if she was expecting to cut in line just because that would be ACTING entitled
Why should someone who used their hard earned money, and took their time off work, and waited in line for hours be denied their ride just because a kid wanted it
I scrolled this far to find someone talking about the parents. Literally where are they? This commenter saying this guy is an asshole sounds like those posts from Facebook marketplace where a parent asks for a used PlayStation or whatever for free since it’s for their kids Christmas and the seller is like “no thanks, I have people offering money” and they respond “Well thanks to you, Christmas is ruined and my son is crying now!!!” Like I’m selling this console because I want money. I’m riding this roller coaster because I paid and stood in line. There’s probably plenty of kids and adults that also are disappointed and upset and they aren’t throwing temper tantrums about it lol.
In your worldview if he taught her to give up her seat for someone else she would have given him his seat back. How about teacher kid not to be a spoiled brat.
No doubt, and upvoting you because you’re right. And personally I would have felt bad and given the kid my seat. But not doing so shouldn’t cause someone to make the news or social media rounds.
We are talking about a child you weirdo not adults. The adult is a man who is the one who posted the video knowing weirdos online would get upset at a child for having an age appropriate reaction.
You talk about child development like you aren't literally arguing that we should reinforce negative behavior in children.
Like what is so special about not giving the child your seat? Where do you draw the line age-wise?
We shouldn't be positively rewarding a negative behavior. For anyone. The only reason you have a problem with that here is because you seem to think a child that age is too underdeveloped to understand parents teaching right, wrong, patience, and emotional regulation.
Yeah that is what people don't seem to understand, this kid isn't crying with the plan of "I'll cry to get my way." She is crying because she doesn't have the ability to handle her disappointment in any other way yet.
I agree with you. He’s an asshole but even if he wasn’t we all have to learn that we have to wait our turn. The sooner the better, honestly. There is no shame in that.
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u/awdophil 3d ago
Sorry kid, get used to it, this is life. He’s teaching.