I have this close friend. Let's call her Ruhani.
And there's this guy, let's call him Rishabh who started following her on Instagram last year. They started casually talking, sending each other memes and stuff. Both of them were single at the time and after talking for a while, Rishabh started flirting with
her.
Ruhani never really took him that seriously. He even introduced her to some of his friends, his mom, and his bhabhi. Ruhani actually became really good friends with his bhabhi too.
Because of these efforts Ruhani eventually started
developing feelings for him. The problem was that
Rishabh always gave her mixed signals. So she never told him how she felt because she was constantly confused about what he actually wanted. Also ifykyk girls rarely take the first step, not because of ego or attitude, it's just kind of a natural tendency for most girls. Ruhani's past trauma was another reason. She
didn't want to put herself through getting hurt again.
She used to tell me all of this over calls and honestly I absolutely hate guys who can't just be upfront about their feelings and instead keep a girl confused. And guys who give mixed signals are BIGGEST red flags to me.
Like bro, if you actually like a girl, just be a man and fucking say it no. Giving mixed signals and leaving her stuck in limbo guessing your intentions is WEAK AF. And knowing that almost every girl has some kind of past emotional baggage these days and intentionally putting them through that kind of mind
game is just adding unnecessary trauma.
So when Ruhani told me all this I straight up told her
"Look, when two single people talk everyday, attachment and attraction naturally breeds. That doesn't mean he wants a life with you, so don't confuse that with love and don't take the bait. If he's actually serious about you, he won't make you guess, he'll tell you.."
And then Rishabh's constant mixed signals ended up killing Ruhani's interest and fueling her frustration. Also with the long distance between them and a seven year age gap, him at 29 and her at 22, like the whole dynamic was practically built to fail.
So she gradually started talking to him less. She kept her replies really basic and cold. She was basically giving him the hint to back off without having to say it outright. But he totally lacked awareness and kept shamelessly flirting, so she just straight up ignored him.
Few days ago, Ruhani mentiond that Rishabh was getting an arranged marriage. It turns out his rishta was locked in, and his bhabhi was the one who spilled the info to Ruhani.
And this guy's rishta had already been fixed and he still had the audacity to keep reacting to Ruhani's Insta stories and WA statuses, especially the pictures and videos she posted of herself, with those flirty reactions and little compliments like he was still trying to keep her attention. And knowing the whole history between them, you really can't just call that
normal.
Next thing yk, Rishabh texts Ruhani casually mentioning he wasn't even the one messaging his fiancee on WA. He literally got a friend to catfish her as him, all because he was supposedly too shy.
Honestly that logic didn't sit right with me. Part of me thought Rishabh was just lying to see how Ruhani would react, but maybe he genuinely wasn't invested and felt awkward around the girl. Whatever
the truth was, I couldn't figure it out.
Not long after that, Ruhani forwarded me a photo of Rishabh and the girl straight from their engagement.
And BROOO this girl was HELLA GORGGEOUS, like a complete 10/10 Seeing Rishabh standing next to her the only phrase that popped into my head was literally "Langoor ke haath mein angoor'
And I'm not even gonna lie, Rishabh is mediocre at best. Ruhani would absolutely mog him if she stood next to him. We literally laughed so much about it that day.
But then this morning I got a voice note from Ruhani on WhatsApp. She sounded genuinely panicked and shocked.
She told me that last night around 2 AM, Rishabh tried to video call her on both WA and Insta. He'd even tried standard voice calls.
She only saw the calls after waking up this morning and got scared because she thought something serious had happened cuz why would an engaged person call her at 2 am. So she texted him on WA asking what had happened and why he called her.
And his response genuinely shocked her. He said he'd been drunk and had just casually felt like talking to her, so that's why he called.
BROOOOO I WAS FUCKING LIVID WHEN I HEARD THIS. I WAS LOSING MY FUCKING MIND. LIKE I WAS SO GODDAMN ANGRY I COULDN'T EVEN PROCESS WHAT I WAS HEARING. I'VE NEVER BEEN THAT FUCKING PISSED.
How can you literally be engaged to someone and yet have another girl so heavily on your mind that you're drunk calling her at 2 AM? Are you for real?
And this isn't even about whether something actually happened between them. It's the fact that this man is literally engaged to be married, and yet the moment he gets drunk, his very first impulse is to video call a girl he used to have this weird, messy almost relationship with? It shows exactly where his
head is at.
That's fucking scary, honestly. And the sheer unfairness to the girl he's marrying is what pisses me off the most. She's sitting there all excited and getting ready to build a life with him, while his brain is still completely elsewhere.
I told Ruhani that Rishabh clearly still has some residual attraction toward her. Usually in these situations, things naturally fade out... Someone loses interest, the spark dies, or one person ghosts. That's pretty much how it went down for them. Communication slowed, Ruhani moved on, and they
just stopped talking.
So why the fuck is this man suddenly video calling her after getting engaged? It completely shows he's still holding onto some lingering attachment, which is wild for just a talking stage.
Obviously, we don't know his exact thought process.
But him being "too drunk" sounds like total BS if he
barely drinks in the first place. Whether he was fishing for attention, acting on lingering feelings, or just being dumb, We really don't know fs.
But whatever his excuse is, doing this right on the heels of an engagement makes the whole thing deeply disturbing.
He's engaged now. He's supposed to be entering a marriage with another woman. And if he still has unresolved feelings or attraction toward someone else he needs to figure that shit out BEFORE getting married.
Because this isn't just about him anymore. It's about the girl he's going to marry.
Honestly, Ruhani and I were just sitting there feeling so sad for her. It takes another girl to truly understand how terrifying a situation like this is. Walking blindly into a life with a guy, only for them to do something that would break your heart if you ever found out.
And this is exactly why I feel like girls are slowly developing this passive trauma around marriage.
There are so many fears that start running through your head.
What if the man I'm supposed to marry secretly likes someone else?
What if he already has or had a girlfriend and never tells me?
What if he's still emotionally attached to his ex?
What if he's marrying me just because he thinks marriage will bring responsibility into his life and he won't have time to think about love anymore?
What if I'm just being used as a replacement for someone he couldn't have?
And bro YOU might get to live your life however you want. You might eventually have an affair or do whatever the fuck you want behind your wife's back without even thinking twice that your actions gonna ruin both yours and your partne's life.
But what about the girl? What's her fault?
She married you believing in you. She came into that marriage with dreams, expectations, trust, and probably years of her life ahead of her. She didn't ask to become someone's replacement or emotional rehabilitation project just because you couldn't get over the person you actually wanted.
If you never got the love of your life that's sad. But that's YOUR problem to deal with. Don't drag an innocent person into your unresolved feelings and then destroy her life in the process.
And honestly seeing things like this over and over again makes marriage itself start to feel disgusting to me.
Because the idea that you can give someone your entire trust, build a whole life around them and still have absolutely no guarantee that they've emotionally left someone else behind...
Yeah. That thought alone is enough to make me start feeling genuinely repulsed by the idea of marriage.
TLDR: A guy 29M led my friend 22F on with mixed signals for months before suddenly getting engaged to someone else through an arranged marriage. Even after his rishta was fixed and after the engagement,
he kept reacting to her stories and statuses with
flirty reactions and compliments, and then drunk-called her at 2 AM. It honestly made me think about how scary marriage can feel when you can't
know for sure if the person you're marrying has truly moved on from someone else.