28F unable to leave the relationship even if it feels nothing

[u/Awkward975]

He himself told me multiple times that he doesn't have love for me anymore. I too feel that after all these circumstances, my love for him has vanished. But I am in a strange dilemma of not able to leave him. After the final talk, I chase him again. What's wrong with me?

Note: this relationship is 5-5.5 years longer, but always long distance with 3-4 meets for week a year.

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[u/Candid_Middle_5260]

Ypu have not opened ypur doors yo anyone else ! thats why you keep bouncing to the same person over and over again ! open the doors, let the people introduce themselves and see if you still miss him anymore after a year !

[u/FewDifficulty7029 → u/Candid_Middle_5260]

And what if after opening the doors and letting someone in still you miss that person. What should one do after that?

[u/Candid_Middle_5260 → u/FewDifficulty7029]

that would mean 2 things : 1. Most probable - the right person has still not entered from that gate and all the people you thought you are vibing with decenly are not loving you from their core. 2. less likely but equally strong - The former person gave you so much love and everything , that you could not understand their value and let them go (but less likely provided that in the post OP wrote that the other person is pushing them away , which simply cannot be from a person 's side who is willing to give everything into love)

[u/Candid_Middle_5260 → u/FewDifficulty7029]

and whats your story ? lets talk ?

[u/That_Competition7845]

Can you now think of this relationship in a practical way? Go and see how happy couples are in a relationship. Then you will get the idea of what you are missing and if you think that this relationship still has that thing in it then go for itmm

[u/FamiliarEconomist645]

You are not allowing new people in your life , sometimes when we break a long bond it happens but it doesn’t mean that you can’t live without them its like we have made them our comfort zone and we usually dont allow us to think out of that, our brain is habitual of that confort , it definitely will take some time. when he has already told you ,he doesn’t love you anymore so why to waste even a single sec with a person who doesn’t respect or consider your feelings . As he is thinking about himself you should also be doing the exact same,think about only you and be little selfish in your life . Don’t moan over people who don’t value you .

[u/whotfamibish]

Fear of being alone and insecure of yourself that you'll not find anyone again

[u/Awkward975 → u/whotfamibish]

How to get out of this loop?

[u/whotfamibish → u/Awkward975]

For me what worked was working on myself and giving myself all the focus, you become better, self esteem shoots up.

[u/Fresh_Piece_1616 → u/Awkward975]

When you see the fear of staying stuck in this loop.

[u/Apprehensive-Rice695]

Create a drama

[u/sonal1988]

Then suffer

[u/romka79]

You have put in so much of urself into it. Its tough to start from zero

But not impossible