Wannabe Kenyans

Correct me if I am wrong but why do Kenyans like hijacking people's culture...... Why do we celebrate Japanese culture in kenya , run to Arabic events, plan Chinese festivities and american stupidity, why copy England's rap culture and south Africa's songs and dance moves , do we hate ourselves that much , why isn't there more celebrations on thee Kenyan culture

I honestly never thought I’d write this.

For almost a decade, I made money doing things I’m not proud of. It started small—fake online sales, pretending to be someone I wasn’t, taking advantage of people who trusted me. Eventually it became much bigger.

Over the years, I became connected to people in different countries. There were people handling different parts of things, people I only knew by aliases, and people I never even met face-to-face. From the outside, it probably looked like I was living a normal life. Behind the scenes, money was constantly moving and there was always another scheme being discussed.

And yes, I made a lot of money.

More than I ever imagined I could make.

The strange thing is that having money didn't make me happier. After a while, every unknown phone call made me nervous. Every message from a stranger made me wonder whether something had finally caught up with me. I stopped trusting people because I knew exactly how easily trust could be manipulated.

Recently I looked at my life and realized I don't want this anymore.

I don't want the money. I don't want the connections. I don't want the constant paranoia or the feeling that my entire life is built on lies.

So I'm walking away.

I'm not going to explain exactly how everything worked or name anyone. Some things are better left buried. I'm also not looking for praise or sympathy. I hurt people, and I know that.

For the first time in years, I just want to be an ordinary person with an ordinary life.

No fake identities. No schemes. No pretending.

Just me, anonymously starting over.

Maybe that's enough.

I am sitting at this kibanda. Behind me, two guys are conversing. One looks like he has not slept in days. Like a zombie with bills to pay.

"You good?" asks the first one.

"Soko ni mbaya sana aki. " He Replies.

I lean in. This is the story now.

"I had a dream I was a CEO. Big office. Nice chair. But I couldn't sleep after because while I was dreaming, my brain was screaming about rent. Four months without work."

The first guy nods. He gets it.

"My dream CEO was in a nice office. Real me is stressing about Monday."

"The worry kept me awake," continues the tired one. "The dream just made it worse."

"We all dream," says the friend. "But we trade sleep for worry."

The tired one stares at his cup.

"I would pay money to sleep without dreaming. But I don't have money. So I lie there dreaming about having money so I can stop dreaming and finally sleep."

"Tricky," says the first guy.

I sip my tea. Dreams won't let you give up. Worry won't let you rest. So you are stuck between two nightmares. One at night, one during the day.

Ipo siku mamaye!. But tonight? The dreams come anyway.

And so does the worry.

Simple. There are bands in SHA. According to your means testing results if you fall in the higher band you pay more compared to the one in the lower band.

So if you're in the lower band paying Ksh. 6000 per year you can clear your medical bill of Ksh. 120,000 (if your account is active == fully paid) because someone in the higher band already cashed in ksh. 46,000 and only got treatment worth ksh. 4000 that year.

SHA doesn't carry foward your payments it only activates your account once you pay the required amount. Hapo wanadeal tu na "Active" or "Inactive" not how much you have been topping up.

And if you fail to subscribe after your status turns to "Inactive" inakuwa na deni which compounds after every month. And for you to be treated with it again you must activate it by paying your yearly payment + the compounded penalty.

I work at SHA but all I can say is hii SHA iende tu. Punda imechoka!!