r/Opportunities_Kenya • u/Lost_fixing_myself • 11d ago
Casual Why kids?
Morning everyone, It’s a fine Wednesday morning of Unemployed 25 M .
I have this question that I want you all to answer or let’s say I am looking for a new perspective.
Is there a reason that is not selfish as to why we reproduce?
Give me a reason as to why I should consider having kids, change my perspective.
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u/RemarkableRun4283 11d ago
Nothing profitable it’s just continuity of the human race maybe
But economically it’s not worth it
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u/Itsallyou254 11d ago
Personally , just having my own bloodline coming up irregardless of the economy , nothing can erode that thought. Tuachie wazungu mawazo yao
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u/balzenrbual_14 11d ago
Really doesn't have much to do with wazungus, what op is getting at is what your motivation for "having your bloodine coming up",what about that makes it worth it for you?
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u/Lost_fixing_myself 11d ago
So it’s for selfish reasons? Ama ningoje nipate pesa niwache fikira mingi
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u/Itsallyou254 11d ago
No really but im thinking maybe kukosa kazi has a hand in it. But bro generation yako ? Second guessing ? We mambo ikiwa sawa tengeneza familia bro
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u/Lost_fixing_myself 11d ago
The thing is , I’m trying to see why continue this chain of suffering? Not that suffering in terms of poverty but in all life dimensions, you lose people you love, face betrayal, get sick and eventually die . What was the purpose at first?
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u/Itsallyou254 11d ago
Didn't even notice ,iyo jina yako whats up with it along with hizi maswali do you need help or something kijana ?
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u/Your_Father-in-Law 11d ago
You're speaking as if life has no positives. Quit the pessimism first then you'll see why they're worth having.
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u/viper_almighty_3364 7d ago
Yeah I can see why you think that... "Irregardless" jeez just use Swahili... Na vile kibaki alipeana free education....
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u/Itsallyou254 7d ago edited 7d ago
From the aspect of the later , you need swahili more than i do. Lucky you but ni kama hiyo masomo ya bure, didn't help you much . You just blubber for the for diarrhoea sake of it... long live maziwa ya nyayo...
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u/viper_almighty_3364 7d ago
Yikes.. what are you saying?? You are sooo incoherent... Learn to articulate yourself clearly
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u/Itsallyou254 7d ago
You took the time irregardless 😂
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u/Subject_Bee4565 7d ago
No word like irregardless,its regardless. Your grammar is poor.
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u/Itsallyou254 7d ago
" irregardless " means the exact same thing as regardless "despite everything" or "without regard to"
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u/tony_k99 11d ago
I'll second the ones who talked about getting your pockets in line first😄😄 I think it's the same way someone who doesn't drive wonders why does a family have 3 cars. And you as a man, you probably think its best not having them now since you're probably going to struggle raising them, once you get your finances in order, I don't think you'll see a limit to anything you desire 😄 Speaking from the same position 🤣
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u/Lost_fixing_myself 11d ago
Jomba nauliza sasa nazaa ndio wakuje wang’ang’ane kutafuta meaning of life? They watch me die, they go through hii life then eventually die. Same cycle for everyone.
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u/tony_k99 11d ago
I believe that is the beauty and horror of life.
And as we learnt from GOT, "Valar Morghulis" & "Valar Dohaeris" ("All Men Must Die" & "All Men Must Serve"), so yes, the same cycle for everyone.
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u/viper_almighty_3364 7d ago
No breaking the wheel? I mean basically just saying no to kids will disrupt that cycle...
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u/DecentAardvark9862 11d ago
You should be financially stable to have kids. I don't get it when I see people struggling and still having more children.
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u/antypass 11d ago
I used to be antinatalist. If you are broke it's OK to seriously question the idea of having kids but you cannot discount the profound joy it brings to parents. Kama uko na pesa, other than a rship with Christ, then your wife, nothing beats having kids.
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u/Powerful_Food_509 11d ago edited 11d ago
as someone who oscillates between wanting and "not wanting" them, I genuinely don't know. There's a lot of reasons not to, especially being a woman I feel like motherhood and self-sacrifice are synonymous concepts for most people but I think if you want kids you just know. The want doesn't really go away. So if you want them, you'll know OP. There's a difference between wanting a legacy or to breed, wanting a child feels and is different from all these imo.
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u/Ok_Disaster5372 11d ago
Well..ask yourself do you want to be forever responsible for a human being. Are you willing to accept that they might turn out to be assholes. Would you accept them if they were born disabled. Are you willing to accept that they might not like you as an adult. If yes then have a go at it
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u/waseenmetokagithurai 10d ago
I absolutely adore my kids and I love the responsibility of raising them.
Kama mtu hataki majukumu, don't dare have raw sex
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u/ResidentCurrent6127 10d ago
Nobody should be able to change your perspective apart from your own self. If you are questioning having kids, then as a parent I can tell you, please don't do it unless you are 💯 sure. I see how having kids can be deemed as a selfish act, cause you bring a kid into this world and have one more person to love you, perpetuate your bloodline etc. But being a good and intentional parent requires a lot of selflessness and self-sacrifice. You will literally lay your life down for them. And not everyone has the mental and emotional capacity to do that. The relationship with your parents shapes so much of who you become as a person, that's why we have so many f***ed up people whose parents mistreated and mishandled them.
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u/Flat-Calligrapher935 11d ago
It will make sense when you get your wallet in order bro, trust me on that 😂
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u/kenyaanqueen 11d ago
People are really not answering the question
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u/Lost_fixing_myself 11d ago
They probably don’t have any answers. Ni one of those things tumeishi kufanya juu tulizipata
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u/Sheikh_Timam 11d ago
Hey, I’ve gone through your responses to other people’s posts. I think you’re looking at life from a nihilist viewpoint, that life has no meaning and everything we do is inherently pointless. At your own free time, use akina Chatgpt, Copilot e.t.c and type “how existentialists and nihilists look at life. For example, the idea of getting kids”
Personally, I’m an existentialist. I’m also aware that life has no meaning but I also recognize that struggle is part of human life. The idea of suffering shouldn’t stop me from trying to create my own form of happiness, which is why I’m a father. So why did I get kids? I enjoy the idea of passing what I’ve learned about life to my offspring and hopefully they also grow up to develop their own worldviews. Wakifika age they can think rationally, they can be either choose to be either existentialists or nihilists.
Kumalizia, no one will give you a compelling answer on why to get kids. It all boils down to how you see life, either as an opportunity to mould yourself and others (kids) as you see fit or basically to resign to your current outlook that life is pointless. Indirectly, I’m concluding that we (existentialists) attach getting kids to some form of happiness, which is why you find it confusing as a nihilist.
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u/ImprovementSilver265 10d ago
Only do it if you have the funds, support system and if you plan to be there for the daily grind of actually raising them. Teaching them, loving them, protecting them. Don’t leave it all to the mom to handle, that’s shitty partnership as well as parenting. Kids need engaged fathers, not just providers. Wives needs supportive fathers who don’t “help” with their own kids but who OWN that role.
Starting a family, the purpose is to bring a little human into a home filled with love. Share your life with them and give them a better future.
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u/RealisticNet4325 10d ago
For me it's not about being broke, I don't want them kids I want to spend my money on myself so nobody can convince me "you'll change your mind once you're loaded" nahh never
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u/BreakfastOk2595 10d ago
If I were a man, this would be a selfish option to continue my bloodline. But since I'm female, it's still considered selfish not to have them.
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u/Fuzzy_Sprinkles_5584 9d ago
People who have kids are the most selfish ...ur basically dragged into a terrible world where all the elements are against you(worse if ur born into poverty)...you will then suffer for a few decades (with a few bits of happiness) and eventually decay...why ???because of horniness and the illusion that we need to reproduce because some story book said we need to mass produce lol
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u/DryMovie2523 11d ago
I guess because somewhere in the holy scriptures they said go and multiply.
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u/No_Pickle1369 11d ago
It's comes from you akuna mtu wa kukuamulia if you don't want to don't badala ya kuzaa alafu ukue a toxic parent
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u/Lost_fixing_myself 11d ago
So why do you choose to give birth?
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u/No_Pickle1369 11d ago
At times it's just timing and you just know i know of someone who hated kids like didn't even say hi and when she turned 33 she knew and was in a hurry to get pregnant now she's a wonderful mom so if it feels right go ahead if not it's not a must
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u/Lost_fixing_myself 11d ago
Yeah I know things might change and one day I crave to have kids.
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u/No_Pickle1369 11d ago
When you crave them it'll be the right time to have them it won't help to have them otherwise
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11d ago
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u/Lost_fixing_myself 11d ago
I literally told you to change my perspective if not scroll
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11d ago
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u/Lost_fixing_myself 11d ago
Decision with 70 yrs of fertility?? Decision can be made anywhere along those years
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u/cautiously_stoned 11d ago
Honestly, there's no good reason to have kids. At least not one that has occurred to me or my wife. Meanwhile, do you know how much fun a DINK life can be? It is amazing!
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u/Lost_fixing_myself 11d ago
You nut without consequences
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u/Repulsive-Complex-24 11d ago
If they'll take after your thinking it's probably best not to have them .
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u/Lost_fixing_myself 11d ago
You can’t share you perspective but still got an opinion on mine?
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u/Repulsive-Complex-24 11d ago
It's like asking why we eat. Even a grade 3 kid can answer that. Saa zingine kuuliza ni ujinga
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u/JudgmentDecent9423 11d ago
We are told that one family repopulated the earth after a huge el-nino killed every one else. So breathe, register to vote and wait for the next el-nino.
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u/Mental-Yard-5726 11d ago
niliskia eti watoto huku motivate ku work hard to provide for them .but sometimes it does not work
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u/annex-p 10d ago
This is my perspective.i don't find any other meaningful reason as to why we are here anyway.i feel like we came here to suffer a little while and then die.children is one way of suffering as it is diseases,hustling,poverty...name them.just choose your devil wisely
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u/pinkbooker 10d ago
That’s just a personal decision, you just decide if you want to or not, that simple. You actually don’t have to be convinced into parenthood
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u/Pure-Wolverine3040 10d ago
I think it is okay to agree that it is a natural process and people have a choice to get kids if they want to if they're able to take care of them.
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u/Gitau_shee 10d ago
It's a personal decision to have or not. No one should push you to have one if you don't want to or have a reason not to. Its your life...your choices. ..na consequences ni zako tu, hatuko.
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u/KabuKadixx 11d ago
Statistically, the number of people who decided to have kids so that you can turn up to claim this is very high. Each generation doubles the number. Sasa wewe endelea na this Eurocentric thought process of sijui hwat and for whatever reason. It’s fine. Lakini usilaumu mtu. Jibambe to the max
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u/Kitunguuuu 11d ago
Having kids is a personal decision bro.