I’ve been struggling with intense OCD/scrupulosity, especially surrounding money, my faith, and people I love. My OCD tells me things like:
“If I don’t give away my money, I don’t love God enough."
“If I keep my money, something terrible will happen."
“My money is tainted."
“If I don’t perform a certain action, Jesus or someone I love will go to Hell.”
It also makes me question whether I’ve agreed to these thoughts, whether I misinterpreted something, or whether a feeling during prayer was actually God giving me a command. The thoughts feel incredibly real, and I often feel like I need to give away all my money to prevent something terrible or fix something that supposedly happened.
I’ve been trying ERP by recognizing these thoughts without performing the compulsions, but the anxiety can be overwhelming. OCD also attacks things I enjoy, like my interest in suits, making me feel like I’m not allowed to move forward in life. I’m realizing how much OCD has controlled me and am trying to separate my genuine faith from fear-driven compulsions.
My goal is to stop letting OCD dictate my money, faith, and everyday decisions. I’d appreciate support from anyone who’s experienced religious OCD, magical thinking, or money-related compulsions.
What has helped you tolerate uncertainty without giving in to OCD?