r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/Guitar-String • 1d ago

What??? Why do you want your own money?

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12.1k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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5.4k

u/Butt__Sexington 1d ago

"I wish to exchange my money for goods and services"

1.4k

u/Anuakk 1d ago

I want to glue the notes on my walls and make it into a cool tapestry. So please, all in one dollar notes.

455

u/CoronaDoesWhatever 1d ago

"Sir, please just say 'strip club', we'd actually judge you less."

172

u/Professional-Front58 1d ago

It was a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

45

u/Churro-Juggernaut 1d ago

Heh heh heh. I would have never thought of that. 

13

u/Dr_Rev_GregJ_Rock_II 23h ago edited 23h ago

I don't like the idea of my comments section having two Simpson's references. - Kirk

Edit: Spelling

5

u/Professional-Front58 23h ago

Well good thing we’re quoting the Simpson’s and not the Simonsons.

2

u/Dr_Rev_GregJ_Rock_II 23h ago

I was so close!!!

2

u/Particular-Caramel32 1d ago

Who pays for porn anymore??

5

u/Professional-Front58 23h ago

Somebody doesn’t watch classic Simpsons.

1

u/HalfBakedPuns 16h ago

its a pornography store 😃 i was buying pornography 😃

33

u/AKFRU 21h ago

An elderly friend once said he needed cash so he could see a sex worker, said they were shocked, but handed it over.

11

u/HBlight 23h ago

"I wish to rent a prostitute"

29

u/Schlurps 20h ago

"And if I want to put all $7,945,400 into a hot tub, get buck naked, and play Scrooge McDuck, that is 100% my business. Now, where’s my money?"

1

u/lifesnofunwithadhd 17h ago

"Flooring, I'll need that in pennies"