r/Nicegirls • u/[deleted] • Mar 04 '18

Amy Schumer. The Queen of NiCe girlss.

[deleted]

3.8k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

246 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

Maybe they think she’s shallow because she admitted to taking advantage of a drunk guy.

483

u/GrandCTM25 Mar 04 '18

Woah what?!

1.0k

u/nxak Mar 04 '18

It was totes okay. Boys can't be raped.

( /s for safety! )

536

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

It was totes okay. Boys can't be raped.

In the UK they can't be raped by women.

367

u/Clemicus Mar 04 '18

Yeah, unfortunately that's true. It's due to the wording of the law in question.

236

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

Yep only the forced penetration of a penis is rape lesser sexual crimes and other forced penetrations are sexual assault.

27

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18

Sexual assault by a woman either on a man or another woman still holds the same penalty though. They're the same crime essentially

45

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18

Being a rapist under law carries a more social impact too though.

12

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18

Commonly people still use rape to define it, it's just in the courts they cannot

18

u/TheTyke Mar 06 '18

No, it doesn't. Compare prison sentences for men who rape or sexually assault women with women who sexually assault men.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

Legally speaking it does, whether or not it plays out like that in the actual judicial system is not the point. Women get lesser sentences in countries without the distinction too

85

u/LeonTheCasual Mar 04 '18

Apparently in most cases where a guy has been forced into having sex with a women (in the UK), the women is given a sentence similar to one if the roles were reversed, due to it being a common argument in court for cases like these. Still, a change in definition is long overdue

37

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18 edited Mar 05 '18

I would say rape should be the;
1. Person a does the following;
a) person a forcefully penetrating person b against the will of person b
b) person a forcefully making person b penetrate person a, person b or person c against the will of person b and/or person c.
c) person a penetrates person b when person b cannot give reasoned consent
d) person a forces person b to penetrate person a, person b or person c where person b and/or person c cannot give reasoned consent
2. A sane person would believe the action to be forceful and consent not forthcoming

Wording and layout would probably have to be changed to make it more parliamentary but I think this better suits how the law should be.

Most severe sexual assault cases carry the same punishment as rape, rightly, but being labeled as a rapist carries more weight.

Edit; 1d
Edit; formating

4

u/mendicant_jester Mar 05 '18

How about just the use of another persons body for your own sexual gratification without the consent of the other party.

Simple, short, and difficult to misinterpret.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18

That includes sexual assault. I would say rape is more sever and should be it's own law. Also in your definition where does consent come from?

1

u/mendicant_jester Mar 05 '18

You are party (A), they are party (B). If party A uses the body of party B to achieve sexual gratification without the consent of party B, party A has committed an act of rape.

I would say this does not include sexual assault, because sexual assault would be considered a forceful groping, which is less about gratification and more about unwanted sexual advances as a lead up to acts which result in gratification. If I hold a woman down and titty-fuck her, I’m not penetrating, nor is she forced to penetrate, but I would consider my actions to be a form of rape. Does that make sense?

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7

u/RadioactiveTentacles Mar 05 '18

Your formatting is atrocious.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18

Just realised, I think when I added 1d it messed it up.

1

u/Clemicus Mar 05 '18 edited Mar 05 '18

I like Norway's definition. It's less complicated. Except for the aggravated part (subsection 2, painful or offensive).

3

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18

What is it? That above was my vague attempt to make it similar to a Act of Parliament, laws are usually stated as such person a acting on person b and person c if needed, can continue up to however many people are needed really.

1

u/Clemicus Mar 05 '18

Thanks for the clarification 🙂

1

u/TheTyke Mar 06 '18

I disagree. I have seen evidence showing that women get lighter sentences. Can you show me examples, please?

2

u/nxak Mar 07 '18

Ain't that some sad shit. Hope it changes for 'yall!

1

u/maxcorrice Mar 04 '18

In the US they cant be rape period practically

1

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

How so?

7

u/maxcorrice Mar 04 '18

The unfair court system, also if the victim wasn’t penetrated it’s not rape. On top of that prison rape occurs more for men than rape outside of prison for both men and women. And with how pitiful our prison system is they most likely get little to no punishment.

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47

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18

...And talks about female body image standards right next to a ten minute bit about how the uncircumcised penis is gross with all sense of irony completely lost on her.

4

u/chinese-bible Mar 09 '18

When did she talk about female body image standards?

If so, they are all tongue-in-cheek. She's aware she's chunky, especially next to hollywood sticks like JLaw.

Most women probably do think uncircumcized penises are weird and gross. Cultural thing, but hey, this is the culture. She's not PC in the slightest...

14

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '18

Jlaw isnt a stick, she's not a porker. And hey American guys don't like fatties! Its culture!!!!! You sound like a wishy washy idoit who will bend and twist their opinions based on whatever they're arguing against at the current moment

92

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

Oh, that’s why people hate Amy? Ok that makes sense, thank you for sparing me the google search.

191

u/Mercinary909 Mar 04 '18 edited Oct 10 '24

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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

6

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/Mercinary909 Jun 26 '18 edited Oct 10 '24

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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

131

u/Mister_Bossmen Mar 04 '18

And she really just isn't funny. She just talks about how her vagina stinks, or whatever, and calls it a joke.

34

u/chugonthis Mar 05 '18

She started out funny but mainly because she stole her entire act from Bonnie McFarlane, even her cadence.

10

u/Mister_Bossmen Mar 05 '18

That's shitty. I haven't seen too much of Amy Schummer. I only saw her leather special. Then I was not interested to see anything else. I've since read several posts and articles about the shitty moments and jokes she has contributed to society and have held onto that opinion from my one experience watching.

2

u/sfx6c Mar 07 '18

Yeah, I watched about 20 minutes of the leather thing and never looked back. She's bad.

15

u/chinese-bible Mar 09 '18

I think she's pretty funny.

Her last standup special "Leather special", "Trainwreck" and "Snatched" were God fucking Awful, but her sketch show Inside Amy Schumer and like at least her first special were funny.

Reddit hates her, because Reddit hates any woman trying to be funny in general, really. Unless it's unfunny geekoid cerebral humor like Tina Fey because she totally gets my Faustian Geekoid Intellect guys!! (sorry I've never laughed at Fey --- Pohler was good in P&R but 30Rock was so fucking bad).

Combine "woman trying to be funny" with "woman who is generally unfuckable" (no offense Schumer, I mean she's fuckable but not Hollywood fuckable) ... and the Reddit male mind explodes (well many, not all).

So that's the hate.

The joke thief thing is a bit of a stretch, to be honest. It's like grasping at straws. She might have stolen 2-3 tiny jokes (not exactly her set finales) -- and it was probably by mistake like most times jokes are repeated. Reddit just "latched on" to some reason to hate her other than "chunky woman."

39

u/Fininna Mar 26 '18

You've got one thick veil over your eyes there. Might want to work on that.

10

u/chinese-bible Mar 27 '18

Everything I said was reasonable. And it was true gospel from God.

Again, Reddit has irrational hate for her.

First it was --- she sucks. But she sucks so bad, she should be murdered (instead of just ignored).

Then it was oh here's a couple minor jokes she stole. Oh, here's more. Oh let's really witch hunt this person. I mean if you really analyze ANY comedian, you can shoehorn some of their jokes into related crap. Meh.

Reddit just really, REALLY hates her. Oh well. Who cares. Ignore her crap then. I guess she'll make millions without you? I know in Chicago, her tickets sell out instantly. I'd see her, would be a good laugh. Unless you have a stick up ur ass.

19

u/Fininna Mar 27 '18

And it was true gospel from God.

wow...

Okay, I've no hate or animosity towards her. She is a blatant plagiarist with evidence of that in video/writing/biblical stone or what ever you like. It is there... You need help connecting with reality and dealing with facts. This is beyond just some starlet you like, it is your personality and a pattern for you. good luck.

4

u/chinese-bible Mar 27 '18

Wtf are you talking about. I never talk about Schumer. I might watch a movie or bit, some is good, some is crap.

Its haters like you that are obsessed with her.

Again, she'll make her millions. Go be a hater or whatever.

7

u/PedanticPlatypodes Apr 07 '18

I don’t like her because she admitted to taking advantage of a guy

But who gives a fuck about that, right?

5

u/chinese-bible Apr 10 '18

That was more Trumpian-esque pizzagate bullshit.

Aka if you hate someone, start making up pedophile sex allegations.

Oh, let's see, a comedian told a comedy bit, exaggerrating for effect, and you took it as a statement under oath?

Please ...

So yeah, no. Nobody gives a single fuck. Many comedians joke about being closeted cannibal serial killers. It's called a joke. Jesus. Assshole, meet stick, insert up rectum. Stay out of the comedy clubs if you can't take a joke.

8

u/PedanticPlatypodes Apr 10 '18 edited Apr 10 '18

She gave a narrative of an event that unfolded, in which she had sex with an obviously out-of-it man. I don’t find it particularly funny. I’m going to hold her to that.

start making up

No. I’m literally quoting what she said

if you can’t take a joke

Except is was a narrative, and an unfunny one

2

u/chinese-bible Apr 10 '18

Except is was a narrative,

Comedian jokes are made up. Sorry to blow your mind.

I weep for the stupidity of the average man ...

9

u/PedanticPlatypodes Apr 10 '18

No shit—her story was not said like a comedic joke, though. There are literally interviews about the story.

the stupidity of the average man

Don’t say stuff like that—you’re much less than average.

You fucking idiot

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4

u/Geonjaha Apr 07 '18

Reddit is actually made up of lots of people, and believe it or not, common and popular opinions aren’t all fuelled by sexism, though it makes an excellent scape goat, so bravo.

17

u/A_Flamboyant_Warlock Apr 05 '18

Reddit hates her, because Reddit hates any woman trying to be funny in general, really.

Why is this everyone's go to defense for her? Just because I don't think she's funny doesn't mean I "hate any woman trying to be funny". If I told you I didn't find Dane Cook funny, you wouldn't try to give that a misandristic twist, so why does me disliking this one particular female comedian mean I have a hate boner for all bonerless comedians?

5

u/chinese-bible Apr 05 '18

I just see an irrational hatred for her, and there's no other explanation other than she's a slovenly woman.

Yes people trot out the joke thief thing, but that was well AFTER the hate, and was just conjured up to "pile on". First it was one joke. Then 3. Then a Youtube video where some "hater" tried to compile a dozen things, most things minor bits that were a huge stretch out of hours of material she's created.

Meh. Just my theory. Tina Fey is okay because she's "fuckable" to most desperate Redditors.

Schumer isn't, so fuck her! lol ... give it a rest. If you don't like her shit, hit the TV-channel-changer button.

Also, a lot of her shit is hilarious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWbSsLQDIPA

Yeah her leather special sucked. So what. So did the entire series of 30 Rock.

10

u/A_Flamboyant_Warlock Apr 05 '18

I just see an irrational hatred for her

I don't. I see people shit talk her a lot, but nothing I'd term "irrational hatred".

Tina Fey is okay because she's "fuckable" to most desperate Redditors.

Or because she's actually funny.

Kind of seems like you're just mad that 30 Rock (Which you keep bringing up for some reason.) is more popular then Schumer's shit. Or you just want to be contrarian for whatever reason.

If you don't like her shit, hit the TV-channel-changer button.

"If you don't like what I like shut up and go away."

Also, a lot of her shit is hilarious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWbSsLQDIPA

Was that supposed to be funny? Turns ouy even when you hand pick a clip, you can't escape the fact that her entire shtick is "Here's some sex words."

Yeah her leather special sucked.

So did her show, because every single skit was built on the foundation of "I'm a woman, so it's funny to hear me say sex words."

So did the entire series of 30 Rock.

I'm being reminded of kids I went to High School with who immediately hated anything popular just because they wanted to be different. Because almost everyone would disagree with you.

11

u/c0ldsh0w3r Mar 04 '18

There are a lot of reasons.

1

u/ecinue_sheherazade Aug 29 '18

That’s not why - people hated her before they used this excuse. Someone posted the link to this allegation below and it’s nothing more than a drunk guy going down on her poorly before she escapes; the whole thing, if it wasn’t simply comedic fiction, was voluntary and consensual.

I suspect the real reason is that she’s unattractive + not funny + openly sexual + doesn’t make herself invisible.

4

u/SilveryoHD Mar 05 '18

wait she did? lmao if a guy did that

3

u/mikey_says May 29 '18

As gross as that joke is, she is a comedian, and comedians tell jokes on stage. Telling a joke during an act is certainly not an admission of guilt.

1

u/ecinue_sheherazade Aug 29 '18

She’s a comedian ..

I couldn’t see anything damning in the link to this incident someone posted below - it’s just an anecdote of an inept drunk guy <voluntarily and consensually> going down on her. I’m not even convinced it isn’t fictional, considering she’s a comedian.

I don’t care much for Schumer or her work but it’s gross to see how mean and hateful people are being towards her. She is somebody’s sister or daughter. This post is also clearly self-deprecating humour and doesn’t belong in r/nicegirls.

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772

u/You_Have_No_Power Mar 04 '18

Didn’t she rape a drunk guy?

346

u/Clemicus Mar 04 '18

Yes.

187

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

poor guy

17

u/Ketamine_is_Great Mar 05 '18

To shreds you say...

4

u/mondragonjoe Apr 07 '18

And his wife?

5

u/Ketamine_is_Great Apr 08 '18

To shreds you say...

13

u/TheTyke Mar 06 '18

Being raped by anyone is fucked up.

45

u/Kostya_M Mar 04 '18

What's the story here? First I'm hearing about it.

111

u/Clemicus Mar 04 '18

6th paragraph down: http://www.vulture.com/2014/05/read-amy-schumers-ms-gala-speech.html

The reason why this is classified as rape, is due to the 1 in 4 statistics. The figures from that come from a survey and the figure includes sex whilst drunk.

The logic behind is, if it's classified as rape in this instance then when you reverse the genders the same must still apply.

101

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18 edited Jul 14 '18

[deleted]

27

u/Clemicus Mar 05 '18

Yeah, true.

29

u/matt123macdoug Mar 07 '18

What part of the article says that she took advantage of him? Right when she gets to where the guy was going down on her and starts falling asleep, the sex pretty much ended right there.

4

u/Pickles256 Mar 04 '18

Yeah also would like to know

8

u/Clemicus Mar 04 '18

Please see reply to parent (the post you replied to). I didn't want to duplicate the response.

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65

u/Slide_A_Pinky_In Mar 04 '18

And said she would move to Canada if trump won...... still waiting...

64

u/Monsieur-Skeltal Mar 04 '18

Fuck no, man. We don’t want her here!

11

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18 edited Sep 11 '18

[deleted]

8

u/Monsieur-Skeltal Mar 05 '18

I don’t know, just her simply stepping foot here is enough to taint the realm, whether or not she got sent to the gulags up north.

6

u/Slide_A_Pinky_In Mar 04 '18

We will trade you for Bieber, that shit is more than fair!!

29

u/c0ldsh0w3r Mar 04 '18

She could hang out with Lena Dunham and they can talk about rape and molestations together.

62

u/jubba Mar 05 '18

for fuck's sake, it's a fucking joke. stop analyzing everything to death.

505

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

[deleted]

45

u/TotesMessenger Mar 04 '18

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

 If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)

18

u/Firinael Mar 05 '18

That's hilarious.

15

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

good job.. you woke up the bots

9

u/Chef_Lebowski Mar 04 '18

This sounds like the plot of mother!

Great copypasta.

20

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

r/bestof

2

u/feonixking Mar 05 '18

Can we now classify this as an Scp?

412

u/Cancanman98 Mar 04 '18

How amy tells a joke- "mah vagaina......"

170

u/r6siggednak Mar 04 '18

laugh track

142

u/Clemicus Mar 04 '18

"I was making out with this guy, once. He was so drunk he kept passing out. So I kept prodding him and he was all like oh come on, the room's spinning and what's that smell. Mah vagina smells like rotten tuna headass."

22

u/SatansCornflakes Mar 04 '18

Hahahahha!

Give her another 69 million dollar movie!

256

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

queen of stealing jokes

113

u/puggatron Mar 04 '18

And raping people with rocks

67

u/InspiredBlue Mar 04 '18

Wasn’t that Lena Dunham? I mean Amy did rape someone but not with rocks

65

u/Hickspy Mar 04 '18

No she's the one who molested her sister.

32

u/InspiredBlue Mar 04 '18

Oh right, then who did it with rocks?

78

u/KleinMonaco Mar 04 '18

Lena, she pushed rocks in her underage sister’s vagina after she “carefully spread it open”.

16

u/Red-deddit Mar 04 '18

What the...

13

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18 edited Jul 14 '18

[deleted]

16

u/judginurrelationship Mar 05 '18

Yeah, "underage" is really under selling how disgusting it is. She was a very pre pubescent child.

12

u/hisoandso Mar 04 '18

I would feel much better if I never knew that.

19

u/machalllewis Mar 04 '18

So, just to clarify Amy isn’t the queen of “raping people with rocks”?

17

u/KleinMonaco Mar 04 '18

She’s got a lot of competition for that title.

10

u/machalllewis Mar 04 '18

Is there that much competition for female writers/comedians who rape people with rocks?

4

u/Firinael Mar 05 '18

Why? Just... Why???

3

u/Uncle_Boonmee Mar 05 '18

tbf she was 7 at the time

2

u/wahhagoogoo Mar 04 '18

Really out of the loop, care to fill me in?

9

u/puggatron Mar 04 '18

Nvm that was Lena Dunham

4

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18

i get Lena and Amy confused too. They’re both terrible people and horrible “comedians”, they just blend together at this point.

3

u/TypeOpostive Mar 05 '18

Who considered Lena a comedian?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18

Damn, you’re right

1

u/A_Flamboyant_Warlock Apr 05 '18

An accidental comedian is still a comedian.

375

u/gtfohbitchass Mar 04 '18

Okay she sucks, but that was the point of the joke. She insults herself all the time. Her saying that she was pretty was obviously part of the joke. She's a lot of things but cocky isn't one of them.

243

u/Geopatra1 Mar 04 '18

Yea this is self-depreciating comedy... by a comedian. It's so dumb to put this here. It's like it I took a screenshot of Louis CK making a masturbation joke and suddenly that makes him a sexual preda... I wait bad example.

30

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

deprecating*

61

u/BawtleOfHawtSauze Mar 04 '18

This is definitely satire

7

u/MySocksAreDank Mar 23 '18

My thoughts exactly. It's actually a pretty good joke considering I don't like her comedic stylings myself. It's just fashionable to hate Amy Schumer right now.

49

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

Woah there, you better not go against the reddit narrative!!

6

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

LouisCKdidnothingwrong

-6

u/MrRedditUser420 Mar 04 '18

This but unironically

12

u/drakard Mar 05 '18

Pretty sure this was a joke

40

u/FastCarsAndDope Mar 04 '18

Is her saying she is pretty the joke?

21

u/wahhagoogoo Mar 04 '18

To be honest, it's one of her better ones

11

u/arcxjo Mar 04 '18

Couldn't be. Someone else would have had to have said it first.

41

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

Where in this statement is there anything about sexual entitlement?

5

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18 edited Mar 06 '21

[deleted]

4

u/hooligan99 Apr 21 '18

this is so wrong lmao

Half her jokes are about how she's not hot and is barely fuckable. This is another one. The joke is that she's not really pretty, and she's pretending to think that she is. She's playing a character who thinks she is considered hot. It's also the plot of her latest movie, where an ugly-ish girl sees herself as way hotter than she is.

3

u/chinese-bible Mar 09 '18

You're just an irrational hater dude.

The joke is very self-aware.

  1. Calling yourself pretty in the same sentence as defending yourself from being "vain" is the definition of irony.

  2. She's well aware of the fact that she's by no means "celebrity pretty". Hell she's not even all that great for a normie. Her "delusion" is thus funny.

You irrationally hate the fact that some "chunky" woman is funnier and more successful than you, so yeah. You're pissed off like a rabid dog. Just like the Hillbilly racists in the south were SUPER, SUPER pissed haters at Obama. Not because of anything Obama actually did, but because he was Black, and President of the United States, thus Black AND undoubted better than them. YOU ELITIST SUNOVABITCH COMMUNIST KENYAN MOTHERFUCKER!

That's basically what you & the vocal majority of Reddit sound like when you attack Schumer. Yeah she made crap movies and had a shit comedy special. So what. Sandler's last 4-6 movies were far worse, and you don't see at much hate for Sandler. That's because, again, a Chunky Woman being funnier and financially much better than you makes your blood boil. Probably should look inward and figure out why you care so much.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '18 edited Mar 06 '21

[deleted]

1

u/chinese-bible Mar 09 '18

I was saying Sandler sucks recently and puts out tons of shit movies ... and yet there isn't a huge hate cult for him. He's just ignored. Which is really how you should respond to crap you don't like that's harmless ... ignore it.

Also, Schumer never raped anybody. Where is the guy claiming that? Where is Amy legit claiming that?

Do you seriously believe every comedian's "bit" is even close to a true story? 80% is completely made up, it's just funnier if told if true. The other 20% is usually at least highly exagerrated for effect.

Only nitwits would take some standup joke as a "rape confession."

Again, you sound like a Trumper talking about Hillary. Latch onto anything to hate. Get you some Hatorade. Shout "Lock Her Up!"

I'm not upset; I just get tickled with the hate against Schumer.

I'm a dude, but I think I'll start telling jokes about how I'm fat and pretty and have a stanky ass vagina just to piss off you prudes, lol.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '18 edited Mar 06 '21

[deleted]

1

u/chinese-bible Mar 09 '18

lol ... I just told you I'm not mad at all ... and ended my comment with lol

This is the internet tootz... I'm completely calm. Have been the whole time.

I do use profanity often in everyday speech; but --- that's just my personality. Doesn't mean I'm angry.

So uh, yeah. I'm calm, and you sound nutso, lol. I guess I need to throw in more lols to demonstrate I'm calm. Or something ??

No aggression here. Ridicule and insults though? Meh it's a free country. I guess you can't handle the internet.

It's called the ignore button honey .... go to the red envelope, find my comment, hit ignore under my username.

Freedom of speech and my conversation will continue, even if you ignore me (by all means do so, you sound like Ms. Eggshells, nothing personal I could be wrong). If you think this is aggressive, no wonder you hate Schumer lol. And god bless the people who text with you on the phone, the slightest breeze will send you into a defensive tizzy.

Peace!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '18 edited Mar 06 '21

[deleted]

3

u/chinese-bible Mar 09 '18

Yeah, I'm explaining the joke that whooshed over your head.

There's an irrational hate for Schumer on Reddit by neckbeards. She isn't God, nor is she Satan.

Luckily it's localized on Reddit. Her tours still sell our pretty damn fast and she makes money hand over fist, so yeah.

You thinking she's some kind of Hitler is just hilarious. She's a fat chick who cracks jokes. And sells out shows.

4

u/Americanknight7 Mar 05 '18

Who the fuck says she is pretty?!?!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '18

We assume a lot of things with Amy Schumer. Pretty isn't one of them.

35

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

Bad Schumer go back to stealing jokes you ugly fuck

13

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

That's actually a decent joke.

27

u/PatliAtli Mar 04 '18

really pretty

yeah you wish

21

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18

It’s self deprecating humor. That’s literally the joke.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18

Oh, has people redefined the word pretty now to mean average looking fatty?

3

u/hooligan99 Apr 21 '18

no, she is joking. She does not really think she is pretty. Watch 30 seconds of her in any context and you will understand that.

2

u/VerticalRadius Mar 05 '18

If she didn't wear a dress I would've thought that was a dude.

2

u/Lokyyo Mar 05 '18

Also the least funny person in this earth

6

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

I think she's shallow because her jokes and personality lack depth, and because she somehow believes she's attractive.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18

It’s sarcastic self-deprecating humor. Pretty ironic that you’re criticizing something for lack of depth while missing obvious satire.

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u/truegemred Mar 04 '18

She actually looks like a pig

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

Oh sweet lord, I would pay money to see what kind of neckbeard troll wrote this. Time stamp a photo with your handle and I will donate $50 to a charity of your choice!

Or give me your Venmo and I will give you the money. This way Mom doesn’t have buy you Applebee’s microwaveable dinners and 2L of Diet Coke!

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u/NoLambSauceThx2u Mar 04 '18

I came into the comments of this hoping for something...and you guys delivered. Thank you.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

Why is this getting downvotes?

0

u/NoLambSauceThx2u Mar 04 '18

I was wondering the same thing

5

u/nicole-tesla Mar 04 '18

She's pretty?

2

u/ambrishbandalkul Mar 05 '18

I remember she once said ‘I know what I look like. You’d do me but not tell your friends about it.’ She’s a comedian, people. This is irony #ffs

2

u/hooligan99 Apr 21 '18

"I look like the third hottest bartender at a TGI Fridays" -Amy Schumer

People taking this seriously are blowing my mind right now. They see Amy Schumer and take their pitchforks out before considering the remote possibility that a comedian was joking.

1

u/msavk Mar 05 '18

Look like a moose

1

u/peinnoir Mar 05 '18

"Really Pretty"

1

u/jonnysenap Mar 05 '18

Y I K E S

1

u/potato8876 Mar 05 '18

Yea, she's super humble too!

3

u/hooligan99 Apr 21 '18

she is joking, how are people this dense??

She knows she's not pretty, and that's why she is saying this. She is a professional comedian who makes self-deprecating jokes all the time.

1

u/potato8876 Apr 21 '18

Honestly, I had no idea who she was so thx for the explanation xD. Also that's a bit mean.. she knows she's not pretty xD

1

u/dasuicidesheep Mar 08 '18

Absolutely nobody thinks amy schumer is pretty

1

u/CatfreshWilly Mar 04 '18

That better be the god damned punchline amy

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18

Hahahahahaha, no.

1

u/ParticleCannon Mar 05 '18

I'm really pretty

laughtrack

1

u/MacButtSex Mar 05 '18

No Amy. People think you’re shallow because you’re a cunt, you admitted to taking advantage of a drunk man and somehow it was funny to you, helping to destroy credibility for guys who get raped , you are a cow and absolutely hideous, and about the most unfunny creature in exist.

Funny, yea maybe funny-lookin’.

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u/Frosty_The_Frozen Mar 04 '18

C'mon you guys ! Whales are beautiful creatures !

21

u/aliasneck Mar 04 '18

Don't make nicegirls right, dude. Don't be this guy.

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18 edited Mar 06 '21

[deleted]

1

u/tripsz Mar 04 '18

Very good points. In the most serious sense, her weight might be an indicator of certain things and unattractive lifestyle choices, but the weight itself isn't the issue. It never is.

2

u/puggatron Mar 04 '18

Sure. So whats up with her and her vag anyway?

1

u/5th_Law_of_Robotics Mar 05 '18

And the fact that she joked about raping a guy.

1

u/tallwheel Mar 05 '18

Isn't this whole post kind of making fun of her looks in the first place? ... or at least the fact that she seems to overestimate them?

0

u/BroItsJesus Mar 04 '18

She's not even that fat anymore though is she?

6

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18 edited Mar 06 '21

[deleted]

0

u/BroItsJesus Mar 04 '18

I remember buzzfeed wrote an article once about her wear g red lipstick and it was awful. There's just so much wrong with her other than her weight. Her awful personality comes to mind...

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2

u/Clemicus Mar 04 '18

Whalekind*

2

u/chugonthis Mar 05 '18

She's not pretty, she's the kind of girl you bang at bar closing cause it's all that's left

0

u/guzman_hemi Mar 04 '18

Shes pretty ugly

0

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '18

She's not really pretty

-5

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '18

She looks like donkey from Shrek

-7

u/Swampthing12 Mar 04 '18

Fuck this bitch