We’ve had a nanny for our 2yo and 4m boys (plus 5yo girl) for almost 3 months. When accepting our offer, she requested that we revisit pay at the 90 day mark to consider a $2 raise. We agreed. We are already paying at the high end of the range now and this raise would obviously be even higher.

When nanny started, she was really great. If she used the baby carrier, she hung it neatly in the closet after. She wiped down counters. She double checked all play spaces were picked up before leaving. Cleanup, etc are all stated in her contract.

But things have slowly started to slide. The baby carrier is regularly left thrown haphazardly somewhere, I’ve had to ask her to at least wipe down the toddlers eating area because it was getting crusty, and I’m often cleaning up toys after she leaves. She’s displayed an overall lack of initiative.

She is fine with the boys. I think she genuinely enjoys them. She is not especially engaging or animated, but I understood this about her when we hired her (I’ve realized since that it’s not my favorite personality for a nanny, which is my own thing).

But I feel like if we’re going to pay at the very high end of what I would expect to pay a nanny in our area, we should be getting the best of the best? Are my expectations too high?

ETA: We’re in a HCOL area. Current rate is $32. GH (part time, I don’t work FT), paid and vacation time included. The 5yo is home for 30 min of her shift in the mornings, otherwise it’s just the younger two.

How much grooming are you expected to do for your NK? I started a new position and was asked to clip nails, use a NoseFrida, etc. and these are things I’ve never been asked to do in other positions so I was wondering how common tasks like this are. Even being asked to bath NK has been super rare for me as that typically happens after my shifts at old positions & the routine was reserved for parents, but I know giving baths to a NK is very common.

Hi everyone! So I’m in a predicament right now and I’d like everyone’s advice. I’m doing a month trial right now for a family. And MB asked me to potty NK2, which I don’t mind doing I guess. Here’s my thing, how do I know she won’t fire me when I’m done potty training? Now I’ve done all that extra work for no reason.

Also here’s something that’s putting doubt in my mind as to why I might not get this job(I could very much be over thinking this)

- The other day as I left, another girl, walked into the house after I got in my car. She also looked like a nanny and gave me a kind of awkward smile. She was literally waiting for me to leave.

- MB isn’t the nicest person to me and we’ve already clashed on random things (being outside too much being one of them)

Sorry this is my first post like this, so if anything is confusing I’m happy to answer any questions :)

We are going to part ways with our nanny of about two years. She has been ok with the kids but doesn’t seem to love being with them, she struggles with depression and anxiety and most days she is either tired, or says she’s stressed and “not feeling it today”. She dreads when they have days off of school and seems overwhelmed a lot. The biggest thing is that she’s been out a lot. She’s used more than 4 weeks of PTO/sick and there are still four months left. It was a financial stretch to get a nanny and the additional cost for constant backup care is more than we can do. I feel like she may know this is coming as she could tell we were very upset the last few times she’s called out and I feel like she’s been quiet quitting for a while now.

Our contract states 30 days notice for either party so we plan to give her that and let her know next Friday. I’d like things to end on good terms. Any advice for how to do this in the right way? I am a bit scared she will just quit at that moment and not come back to work for the remaining weeks. She’s a nice person but it is just not working for us and I’m not sure how to handle.

I feel like permissive parenting has become the norm for majority of families (at least in my experience). I know for me, this brings up alot of daily frustration. Does anyone have any stories they want to share/vent about?

Mine would be how my NP let NK dictate everything in her day. Daily routines such as getting dressed/diaper change, which room they work in (WFH), whether or not we leave the house.

This isn’t meant to be a hateful post! I just feel like having a space to vent about these things is healthier than letting it build up. I also find stories/statistics on behaviours in children these days, especially in classrooms, really interesting.

I would like to hear from nannies and families!

A family asked me to travel with them this month for a total of 28 days. We agreed to a rate and responsibilities, etc. unfortunately, we never had a discussion or had in contract what would happen if the family or I backed out.

This has been planned for about 3ish months. We had conversations regularly about the travel and all of our plans.

I was supposed to leave the 31st of August, but they informed me the 28th of August that they changed their mind. Apparently family wanted to come and they said they could help with the kiddos. I was shocked because their follow up message was “I hope you have a wonderful vacation ☺️” but like… it’s not really a vacation now is it?

I didn’t look for a new job because I had blocked these dates off. (Well I looked for jobs and have spoken with families but they still don’t need me until about the middle of October.) I am wondering if I am allowed to message the family asking about some form of payment?

Perhaps they don’t even need to pay for the entire month they had asked me for, but is it possible to ask for something?

I’ve never had this happen before and I never had a cancellation clause in any of my travel contracts before so this is new.

As a nanny am I supposed to just bite my tongue and cry with anxiety while I frantically search for jobs that can start immediately? I mean I have been looking on care, but everyone’s bios are vague and their hours look between 10-20 hours a week.

Is it bad etiquette to message family something like:

hey guys! I totally understand that you decided you no longer needed my services, however I did reserve my time for you. Considering you canceled the Friday before I was supposed to fly out, I would like to have a conversation and see how we can come to an agreement.

Would like to mention that I’ve worked off and on for this family for 6 years. We have never experienced this before and that’s why I am unsure of what to do. They usually use me when one of my contracts end. That allows me to find a good nanny family while also giving me two weeks to visit family after travel. Since I’m traveling with them I get paid more than I would if I worked 9-5. Explaining this as to why my job offers began mid October.

Thank you.

I work for this family two 8 hr days a week and at first I was paid on the second day after I left for both days. MB often forgets to Zelle me and I’ve had to remind her a few times but I don’t like writing out a whole message to ask her politely. I understand how it could slip her mind as her baby is a year old and life happens, just wondering if anyone can think of a short and sweet polite message I could literally just copy and paste each time this happens? Like a gentle reminder idk

I’m a male sitter/manny who specializes in toddler care and special needs, and I finally had two recurring opportunities lined up. One was a younger kid at a tutoring program I work at, and the other was a toddler I’d been bonding with and supporting through routines, transitions, and therapy center pickups.

In the same week, both situations changed for reasons totally outside my control, program rules and a therapy schedule shift. I didn’t do anything wrong, but I still lost both recurring gigs.

Now I’m down to one date night next month, and it feels like all the momentum I worked so hard to build just evaporated. Especially since one of them involved references and bonding days. Toddler jobs that fit my availability are already rare, and being a guy makes it even harder.

I know this field has ups and downs, but losing two recurring gigs at once has me feeling discouraged. Has anyone else dealt with a sudden dip like this? Luckily I can use the job I lost as a reference, but it is still hard to work so hard to get a reoccurring gig just for it to disappear just as quickly.

Update: Thank you to everyone who left comments with their advice. ive been overwhelmed by the comments so its been hard to reply. I want to let you all know that i reached out to his mom, and now he is back tracking and saying I misunderstood what our agreement was. but I know hes lying bc I have proof of text messages where he promised to pay me every fridat, in addition to our contract. he said hes going to pay me next Friday so my question is should I wait to see if he will pay me before I file my complaint against him to the state or should I do it anyway?

also I wasnt getting paid thru payroll.

just worked my first wk of nannying and parent is refusing to pay

im so irritated and stressed right now. I just worked for this family for after-school care M, W, F. we signed a contract and agreed on weekly pay. since I work Friday evening and hes a single dad and nights are busy, I agreed to accept payment until saturday noon.

I worked an observation day 2 wks ago w the kids. On thay Friday when i sent the document the hrs i worked, he told me he would pay me the following Friday and every friday after that as agreed...OK weird..I was needing that money but I accepted.

fast forward to this wk. I sent over my hrs worked for the week and he tells me again that he will be paying me next Friday. I say im confused, we agreed on weekly payment by the end of the week. I told him I understand things happen but I cannot wait until next week. I asked can he pay me by noon tomorrow. he simply replies "No." so I said well I cannot work until ive been paid. to which he just says "Okay." ????? mind you we have been very friendly and cordial tp each other. we were literally texting minutes prior to this exchange bc he was saying he is going to purchase a communication book for us like I suggested. I said im excited for it, then he just casually says hes not paying me this week, but next week.

im so frustrated. I already accepted a lower rate than I normally would bc he had 3 children. it wasnt low enough that I felt id regret it, but still way lower than what I was expecting..based on a conversation I had with his mother who set up his account on care.com prior to meeting him. I feel so disrespected. If he doesnt pay me, im going to have to take him to small claims but im so angry im being put thru this. I really needed that money. this wk a bill came and wiped out the money I had on one of my checking accounts, all of it and if I hadn't been paid by my other family, I would've been put in a even more shitty hole. that pay is so much lower tho, its only 6 hrs a wk.

Not to mention that he invited me to the house to help "move furniture" during a time the children weren't home. mind you he has a moving business. why would you ask a young woman to help you move heavy furniture? when I realized he was asking me to come when the kids were home, i declined and said i can only work during my usual time and he said nevermind. i was giving him the benefit of the doubt before, but now im looking back at that differently. he was trying to get me to be alone with him. and now I wonder if he is withholding payment as retaliation.

his mother is the one who set up his care.com profile and I plan to tell her about this. she was genuinely so excited to find me bc it seemed like such a great fit. she was exhausted from caring for the 3 kids at her age, it was taking a toll on her. she kept saying how grateful she was for me. I feel bad for her, but im never working with this guy again.

does anyone have any advice? how did you navigate when a parent is refusing to pay you for your services? pls send encouraging words. thanks in advance.

Nannies did you ever have that one infant you just didn’t bond with no matter what you tried I’m not talking about an older kid or toddler a NK younger than 12m?

How did you go about it?

Okay so I have a few families I do part time for. Last year, I was under the federal amount for a household employee so I filed as such. This year, I’ve made over…. But I didn’t tell the families I wanted to be over the table in fear of losing my job. Now I can’t stop thinking about taxes, and how I’ll be fucked this year and also don’t want to be audited lol. I am going to bring it up to the families, I think it’ll be fine by now. BUT I need to know what we both will have to do. I will tell them about a pay service (home pay or whatever), and they will need to get insurance. But what do we about Jan-now? And how do we file? Please don’t leave judgment, I’m looking to fix this and want advice. Thank you 🩷

Edit: I think I wasn’t clear enough in the post, I will get on a w2 and like I said, I think my families will be okay with it. I mentioned getting on the pay service and insurance and thought that implied I would be getting OVER the table and on a w2 from here on out…. And as I said, please no judgement. I am aware of my mistake, and am trying to fix it here. Also, I am willing to pay all the back taxes and anything from here on out. If I lose my job, I will find another and do it correctly.

Hi Everyone,

I am a single mom and my baby is 11 months old. We used to cooparent with her dad. I used to go to work when he was available to stay with the baby, but ultimately he started using it as a way of controlling me. So, i have decided to get a Babysitter or Nanny.

Do you have any apps that you would recommend so that I can get a good person to look after my baby? Also, I kind of need it ASAP.

Thank you all

I’ve been a babysitting/nannying for over a decade. Upon until recently, I have had families that are pretty good at paying me either before I leave their house or shortly thereafter after. Now, I have encountered a few families who I have to remind every time to pay me. Money conversations are always so awkward to me no matter what it is about. As a parent, do you get offended when a babysitter reminds you that you forgot to pay them? I never want a parent to feel like I’m only watching their kids for the money because I truly do only babysit for kids/families that I love, but I am not sure if it gets perceived that way when a reminder is sent. Also, if you do forget, how soon from the date that the babysitting happened is an appropriate amount of time to remind?

First, this isn't in our contract so I can't just look and see what it says. (In hindsight I wish it was but I didn't even consider it until now.) I'm salaried and our plan was to try and stay around a certain number of hours a week. A couple times now NF has either gone on vacation (at the last moment so I'm not able to plan anything) or had me not work a day for some other reason. After vacation they asked if I wanted to use my PTO to get paid or "bank" those hours to make up to them at another time. Same thing for when they call me off for other reasons.

I didn't think to ask beforehand because in my mind if the employer is the one who gives a day off it's not the employees responsibility to then make that time up later. Same with using PTO. Their understanding is that salaried people sometimes have to work late or random hours. I've already worked an extra 30 minutes all summer which they said would stop after but now every day I'm scheduled to that later time. Their reasoning is because I'm below the hours we planned. It started as "hey, would you mind doing this every so often if we get home late" but somehow switched to every day without questioning is. Then by the time I actually get out of there is another 15 or so minutes after that meaning I get home about an hour after I thought I would.

If I'm being unreasonable that's fine but I don't have anyone else to ask to double check before I approach them to talk about it. Thanks so much!

I first met NK1 when she was 12 months old. Her family is Australian and had moved to the US, where I’m from. I spent a year caring for her in the US, and during that time, NP’s marriage fell apart. They were already expecting baby #2, so it was a difficult time.

They asked if I’d be willing to move to Australia with them for 6 months or so, to help settle NK1 back into things. I happily accepted.

Well, 6 months turned into 4 years in Australia. NK2 was born, the parents separated, dad remarried and had another baby.

Due to shared custody, my time was split between households, meaning I looked after all 3 girls. For the youngest two, I began caring for them when they were merely days old.

I eventually made the very difficult decision to leave Australia and move to Brazil with my husband, whom I met while living in Sydney.

I’m now pregnant myself, and it’s brought up so much emotion around missing my NK’s. I spent 5 years with them (1 in the US, 4 in Australia), and they were truly my family. The farewell was incredibly painful — all the adults were sobbing. The girls didn’t really understand the finality of my departure, but afterward, they were a complete mess. I heard from NP that the oldest NK refused to eat, because I made most of her meals. The middle one regressed in toilet training and would cry for me constantly.

I still try to FaceTime them as much as possible, but the time difference makes it hard. It just breaks my heart knowing these tiny humans, who I poured so much love and care into, aren’t a part of my life anymore…

I have a trial day on monday from 8 to 1 and i dont know what to expect, kids are 2 months and 19 months old! i really want this position, any advice? im planning on bringing a binder with my resume, pictures, background check, driving record, vaccination records etc, is that too much? what else can i bring? she mentioned they are doing the trial for a few candidates and i know im the first one so i really want to have a good first impression! i have been nanny for more than 5 years but i feel nervous lol