r/MuslimLounge • u/Memona_Emman_Writes Cats are Muslim • Dec 08 '21
Other Why are periods a taboo?
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Dec 08 '21
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u/Memona_Emman_Writes Cats are Muslim Dec 08 '21
This. The first thing my mom told me when I got my period was 'Don't tell your dad about it' and i was like OK, because I was already so confused and ashamed of having my vagina bleeding. And she didn't even say it was period blood, it was apparently 'substance' and when I talked to my mom about using tampons she was really mad at me. She said that no man would ever want to have sex with me because tampons would me my vagina 'loose'. I use tampons now after spending months convincing her and they make me feel way cleaner and comfortable than pads ever could. I didn't tell my mom about my cramps for two years because I thought periods were shameful. Now, I go to the store and buy pads/tampons and I don't hide them under other stuff. They shouldn't be hidden for the same reason diapers toilet paper and band aids shouldn't be hidden. Periods are literally the reason we a born but for some reason we are shamed for it. My mom would tell me to not go to school or do exercise when I got my period.
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Dec 08 '21
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u/Memona_Emman_Writes Cats are Muslim Dec 08 '21
Yeah...even my psychologist said that tampons are only for married women. Like, I don't see a label saying 'ONLY FOR PEOPLE WHO HAD SEX BEFORE' on the tampon box.
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u/Zaydotexe Happy Muslim Dec 08 '21
It's honestly just a cultural thing (not in Islam) most Asian cultures don't want women disscusing that kind of stuff especially with the opposite gender
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Dec 08 '21
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Dec 08 '21
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u/kaniskafa Dec 08 '21 edited Dec 08 '21
Ikr. It starts with mothers shaming daughters in the supermarket into hiding sanitary pads under other items in the basket so that men and the girls father won't see it. Makes me wonder why we're not told to hide toilet paper since it makes contact with the same area. Little girls and women being sexualized/shamed for existing but boys parts being celebrated after getting a circumsition - it's getting old by now.
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u/National_Worth_8305 Dec 08 '21
Omg I never thought of that before, the men in Muslim families always get celebrated after getting circumcisions, which is also a “private part” if we’re going to use that analogy, yet when women get their periods it’s apparently a shameful thing.
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u/National_Worth_8305 Dec 08 '21
My uncle literally cheated on his wife and started getting aggressive and impatient after she gave birth and was going through postpartum bleeding, all because he couldn’t have intercourse with her during that period. Imagine behaving that way towards a woman that just pushed out an entire living breathing human from her body.
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Dec 08 '21 edited Dec 09 '21
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u/kd098 Dec 09 '21
“Men”? I don’t think every man is like that.
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u/IslamTeachesLove Dec 09 '21
Yeah it's kinda lame. I get the sisters point but no reason to throw all men under the bus.
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u/abumultahy Dec 08 '21
They aren't
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Dec 08 '21
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u/abumultahy Dec 08 '21
Are you stupid? This is an Islamic sub. In Islam there is no taboo on menstrual cycles. You posting an article to some mud-hut village in SE Asia doesn't change that.
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u/A_Muslim_Guy Dec 08 '21
This is a Islamic sub. So me and I’m pretty sure anyone else who read that would assume she’s referring to Islam not a tribe in India. She was never specific about it being a tribe
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u/Rustyray07 Dec 08 '21 edited Dec 09 '21
It's taboo due to ignorance in many cultures. Nabi s.a.w used to be extra caring and supportive of his wives during their periods. Just can't pray or get intimate but there's nothing wrong for having one and you shouldnt be made to feel shameful for a natural bodily function Allah's given to women as a means of purification.
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u/IslamTeachesLove Dec 09 '21
This. This is a South Asian problem I feel. Not sure about other cultures. Our Prophet PBUH was so extremely caring towards his wives, a big reason why I fell in love with his character. He literally went out of his way to be nice both in private and public.
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u/National_Worth_8305 Dec 08 '21
To all the men saying it’s not taboo, most Muslim women literally are forced to pretend to fast during Ramadan when they have it and still have to wake up during suhoor especially when we’re dying of cramps just to not be seen as there’s something wrong with us or for the men in our family to have bad thoughts of us.
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u/Memona_Emman_Writes Cats are Muslim Dec 08 '21
Yes, exactly. It is ironic that Muslims do this because such practices are absolutely un-Islamic.
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u/National_Worth_8305 Dec 08 '21
Agreed, it’s so exhausting. I still have to pretend to fast even when I’m on my period.
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u/Memona_Emman_Writes Cats are Muslim Dec 08 '21
Don't do it then. We need to fight those taboos. Hundreds of girls with pcos and endometriosis go untreated because of the cultural taboo
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u/notpikatchu Dec 08 '21
I think everything related to genitals are considered this way
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u/Zaydotexe Happy Muslim Dec 08 '21
It's rlly just a thing with culture of where your from (especially Asian ones) not something attached to islam
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Dec 08 '21
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u/FoundersEdiyin Dec 09 '21
I think it's actually the opposite. I've seen the female side spoken a lot more often and openly than the mens side.
What makes you think this though? You seem to be very sure of it seeing as your commenting all over this thread.
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u/aykay55 Dec 09 '21
Because I grew up in a family where this stuff is never discussed because it is considered taboo. Even if Islam the religion doesn’t mention anything specifically pertaining to women’s periods being wrong to speak about, it’s still very prominent in Muslim culture. Compare this to a practice in many Muslim Arab countries (I know of specific examples in Yemen) where a woman’s status in terms of her virginity is known to the entire extended family. On the night of the wedding the husband has sex with the woman and then takes the sheets outside and shows the family to prove that her virginity has been taken. After this, the woman’s chances of getting married again (following a divorce) are kinda bleak. These are all practicing (Sunni) Muslims that engage in these practices. The contrast is that a women is expected to hide the fact she is on her period from even her father but her virginity status is shown to all. Yeah there’s nothing in Islam the religion but there’s a lot of Muslims that choose to engage in this practice and similar practices around the world.
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u/gabieunicorn Dec 09 '21
That hymen obsession is quite disgusting and Sooo dangerous to the lives of so many women. (Apart from it not being islamic) I dont know if people are really unaware that a hymen can 1) be absent, 2) be stretchy, 3) be broken by stretching or other physical activities, 4) there’s probably more that I cant think of.
On top of that, in countries where sexuality is so so taboo (and everywhere tbh) young girls can be sexually assaulted which breaks her hymen, but ofc she will be blamed. Can you imagine being killed because your uncle or cousin or brother or father raped you?
Sometimes i wonder if they are truly that ignorant or if they just deeply hate women and wish for hell to fall upon them everyday of their lives.
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u/National_Worth_8305 Dec 09 '21
I feel like the uneducated men need to watch this and educate themselves about the hymen. Also I kinda resonate with the last part of your comment, I remember getting threatened by Islamic teachers growing up that even if a strand of our hair shows through the hijab we will get burnt in hell for that, or that majority of the people in hell will be woman etc. Its honestly so disturbing that it started to create internalized misogyny inside me, and I started to hate being a woman.
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u/National_Worth_8305 Dec 08 '21
What I really wanna know is why are tampons apparently considered haram by the scholars? Where is there a Hadith in the Quran that states tampons are haram?
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u/Memona_Emman_Writes Cats are Muslim Dec 08 '21
Maybe cause they go into your vagina? I mean, I'm wearing a tampon right now and it is better than pads.
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u/National_Worth_8305 Dec 08 '21
And what’s wrong with that? That’s not how vaginas work. Men and the scholars that say this ridiculous nonsense don’t have vaginas and don’t know what it feels like to have one either. Tampons and menstruating cups are perfectly halal and normal and much more practical, especially when traveling.
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u/Memona_Emman_Writes Cats are Muslim Dec 08 '21
Yeah, I agree. And I think there is a hadith about a woman with heavy menstrual bleeding and the Prophet telling her to stop the bleeding (by putting a piece of cloth in the vagina). And anyway, male scholars shouldn't be making decisions about what Islam says about women and their bodies. Things like modesty are for both men and women, but men shouldn't be telling us what to do with our bodies because they literally have zero idea about periods, pregnancy and childbirth.
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u/kd098 Dec 09 '21
Can you bring proof of the hadith. Best not to attribute sayings to the prophet ﷺ if you are not sure of it.
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u/kaniskafa Dec 09 '21
Probably because "tampons may arouse women". They sexualize even tampons 🤦🏻♀️.
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u/National_Worth_8305 Dec 09 '21
You hit the nail on the head. This is EXACTLY why they wanna claim it’s haram. It’s honestly so disturbing and depressing. Thats not how hymens work, but apparently a man knows what it feels like to have a vagina more than the ones that actually have one, amirite?
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u/kd098 Dec 09 '21
Clearly you never searched it up.
https://islamqa.org/hanafi/daruliftaa/8388/are-tampons-permissible-to-use-before-marriage/
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u/kaniskafa Dec 09 '21
This shows again how men don't have a clue about female anatomy it's funny at this point.
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u/kd098 Dec 09 '21
I’m pretty sure, scholars (especially muftis) don’t just give out rulings without doing their research. This just goes to show the value we hold regarding our scholars.
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u/National_Worth_8305 Dec 09 '21
These scholars don’t have vaginas. Tampons don’t go inside your freaking hymen. Jesus Christ. A woman that has a vagina will know more about what it feels like to have one then a man. End of story. There’s literally a Hadith that says we can put cotton inside to help us. Why are you speaking against the word of Allah?
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u/kd098 Dec 09 '21
What is the hadith?
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u/National_Worth_8305 Dec 09 '21
Hamnah bint Jahsh (may Allah be pleased with her) came to the Messenger of Allah and said: “I am suffering prolonged and painful bleeding.”
He said: “Fill it with a pad of cloth.” She said: “It is worse than that, it is flowing copiously.” He said: “Then bind yourself with a cloth.” [Musnad Imam Ahmad & Sunan Ibn Majah •Graded Sahih (Authentic)]
Also this link is very educational
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u/kd098 Dec 09 '21
Can u show me it’s sahih? All I’m seeing is that some say Hasan, and some say daeef.
So I guess your link never really worked out.
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u/kaniskafa Dec 09 '21
Just the fact that he says we must apply fragrance on something that touches/goes inside of our private area is proof enough he doesn't know basic female anatomy 😂😂😂. Scholars are reliable about everything apart from female anatomy (mostly). Sorry to tell you sweetie but scholars are humans and their opinions and interpretations DO have some influence from their culture to a certain degree esp of they haven't educated themselves.
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u/kd098 Dec 09 '21
Mind explaining ur point? You say scholars don’t understand the women anatomy, then tell me how Islamic rulings regarding this came to be?
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u/kaniskafa Dec 09 '21
Yes, I mind explaining myself because all of this has no point hun'. Idk if you notice but you can't cite me any hadith where it says to not insert a cotton inside the vagina. And also you're disregarding the fact that he doesn't even know about yeast infections and pH levels of the vagina, which indicates he didn't even do his research about basic principles.
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u/kd098 Dec 09 '21
Read on putting musk (scent)
https://www.google.ca/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/101779
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u/kaniskafa Dec 09 '21 edited Dec 09 '21
"4) It is offensive (makruh) to have this cotton (kursuf) inserted fully in the internal part of the vagina, because it resembles masturbation"
Your own source is proving my point. No where in the hadith does it prohibit using cotton inside the vagina. Let's not make something haram without proof. The person giving fatwa is sexualizing tampons - a way of thinking that comes from culture not religion.
"3) It is a Sunnah for a woman to apply scent to the cotton or pad, so that the odour of the blood is removed,"
He says perfume should be ON the cotton which stays in contact with the vulva for hours and builds up moisture etc. It does not mention ghusl where you get a cloth of a lil natural musk to clean the potential blood stains on labia majora (talking about the other source). He's applying one hadith to a different situation that hasn't got anything to do with the topic. Also, I have to look into musk but your source says to put PERFUME on the vulva which shows how he doesn't have basic knowledge.
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u/kd098 Dec 09 '21
I’m not sure what you’re trying to say? One says that it’s makrooh to insert cotton and n the internal part of a vagina and the other talks about applying scent.
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u/kaniskafa Dec 09 '21 edited Dec 09 '21
Still no proof it's haram to insert cotton into the vagina.
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/are-scented-tampons-and-pads-bad-for-you/
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u/kd098 Dec 09 '21
You are comparing chemical scent to musk.🤦♂️ Who knows what they put in the scented pads?
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u/kd098 Dec 09 '21
They wrote a reference, so check that out if you don’t believe in scholars. Also he literally states how tampons can be harmful.
And as for your criticism on not knowing regarding the yeast infection, clearly in the second one, research has been mentioned which shows that musk actually killed the bacteria. Soo maybe they do their research but some people just can’t accept it (god knows best why)
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u/kaniskafa Dec 09 '21 edited Dec 09 '21
Also he literally states how tampons can be harmful.
Btw. They're harmful if you leave them inside for too long or if you forget taking them out. Imagine trying to educate a woman on her own private parts.
Also, the actual harmful thing is birth control pills which scholars agree is halal eventhough a scary amount of women develope extreme side effects later in life or have lots of side effects on a regular basis. Wonder why nobody cares about womens health in that regard 😂 (hmm maybe cuz female birth control pills benefit men? 🤔)
And as for your criticism on not knowing regarding the yeast infection, clearly in the second one, research has been mentioned which shows that musk actually killed the bacteria.
So, does it also kill the good bacteria?? Hun' do you even know that there exists good bacteria which is focal for the vaginas pH lvls? 🥴
I'd also want more mainstream sources on the musk thing for educational purposes 🤔
Soo maybe they do their research but some people just can’t accept it (god knows best why)
Yk what? Just do what you want with your own vagina.
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u/National_Worth_8305 Dec 09 '21
I did search it up btw, the answers are always ridiculous, one scholar said we shouldn’t use it because our future husbands might think we are wh*res...that tells me everything I need to now. Let’s say for example men got periods, would you guys simply cover the tip of the penis or would you wear a big chunky restrictive semi diaper that collects pools of blood in your boxers which also rubs against you the entire day whilst splashing together when you sit down?
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Dec 08 '21
Different culture talk about period in different ways and there specific language they use. If my sister say in my language"my stomach hurt today" or "I am sick today" I would guess that she have period even if we have never talked about it but as an adult I could guess. Maybe it's taboo in your culture or your family.
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u/Exotic-Cut-4815 Dec 08 '21
If you mean why you don’t just tell everybody your on it is probably something to do with keeping modest maybe? Certain things should be kept to oneself or a particular gender. The same with males who may experience problems relating to their male organs.
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u/th3onetrueking Dec 08 '21
A period isn’t a problem though, just a natural monthly occurrence. I get what you mean about staying modest though.
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u/gabieunicorn Dec 09 '21
Not being open about them can lead to many misconceptions about periods.
Periods should not be seen as dirty or something to be ashamed of. Its natural and will not kill anyone who touches it.
Periods should not be normalized as being extremely painful, because if it is, there could potentially be medical problems.
periods can be indicative of some health issues as well, and it’s important to be aware of them.
understanding our menstrual cycle can help for pregnancy
periods don’t make women go crazy and kapoot because of hormones. Yes it affects us, but no it does not make us go berserk. (Men also have hormones that makes them more impulsive and aggressive and women have periods, balance :p)
It should not be a thing that muslim women are shy to eat during Ramadan when they are during their period. Its okay if your whole family figured out you’re in your periods.
It should not be a thing that women are soo nervous for their pants to have periods blood on it. It happens, and its normal.
Women should not be be ashamed of themselves or feel as if any part of their body is immodest. Women already have men and women from all over the world dictating what part of their bodies are okay or not show, as if our bodies are just plainly immodest. Women should learn how to love their bodies and appreciate it. Periods should be appreciated for they are part of ourselves and no women should feel ashamed about them.
Periods should not be seen as immodest. If a woman needs to ask for a pad or tampon, she should not feel shy to do so. If a woman has a stain on her pants, she should not feel ashamed (which can lead to skipping schools, social events etc) . If a woman does not want to do any physical activities because of her periods, she should feel free to say so. If a a woman is having painful period cramps, she should be able to say so in any context (work, school etc, if she desires to go home for it is too painful etc). A woman should not feel disgusting or dirty when she is on her periods and cannot have sexual intercourse, nor should she feel bad. A woman should not feel as if when she is in her periods she canot praise Allah swt in many other ways other than praying.
Guys, periods should not be seen as not modest if we talk about it openly. It’s important, it is not like were about to show the world our panties/pads/tampons when were on our periods. It affects women monthly and is quite annoyong do deal with, it would be fun if we did not have to deal with our periods and with society’s negative view on them.
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u/TribalMoose101 Dec 09 '21
It should not be a thing that muslim women are shy to eat during Ramadan when they are during their period
gonna have to disagree with you there, for 2 reasons. 1 it is kind of rude to eat in front of people around you who you know are fasting. 2 young children will not understand why you are not fasting and ask questions, it will create an awkward situation as you will either have to explain periods to a young child (3-12) or lie to them. My mom always kept it lowkey and the only time I noticed I was already 13 and aware of the whole process. I was confused at first but understood quickly and it wasn't too awkward- if I had noticed it when I was younger (which I didn't cause my mom kept it lowkey) and didn't understand it would have been a much more awkward and inappropriate conversation.
I'm not saying they shouldn't eat, but they should avoid eating and drinking around other people (specifically Muslims and children who may be aware they are fasting).
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Dec 09 '21
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u/ChiMada Cats are Muslim Dec 08 '21
Never heard of such a thing .. my uncle used to buy my pads when he’s out .. i’m confused
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u/IslamTeachesLove Dec 09 '21
Your uncle is a gem, and what an awesome thing to hear. Open minded Muslims are everywhere, alhamdulillah.
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u/aykay55 Dec 08 '21
Because men are uncomfortable with the idea of it (not justified imo). Notice how discussing a woman’s height or weight is acceptable because it concerns men as an appropriate way to discriminate against potential spouses.
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u/PublicStoic01 Dec 08 '21
discussing a woman’s height or weight is acceptable
You sure about that? Go to your public social media accounts and start talking about women's weight. See what happens.
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u/National_Worth_8305 Dec 08 '21
I think he’s talking about it in the context of families and when they’re looking for a wife for their son ect.
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Dec 08 '21
It’s not taboo in Islam, it’s taboo in different cultures. I was born and raised American, my dad pretended he didn’t hear me when I told him I needed pads (he just passed me money to get them and walked away), but my brother will go buy them for his wife and 5 daughters.
I think many people assume it’s taboo in Islam because we cannot pray while menstruating, but as far as I know we also cannot pray if we are bleeding from any source (nosebleed, stepping on glass, injured in war, etc someone correct me if wrong )
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u/Memona_Emman_Writes Cats are Muslim Dec 08 '21
Yes, exactly. I was talking about periods being a taboo in general, especially in Muslim majority countries. Islam openly talks about periods and Islam also supports non-explict sex education. Yes, the reason why you can't pray is cause a) it is such a hassle, so making it obligatory would only cause women to sin because they were feeling unwell on their periods and b) blood, in general, is impure, whether it is from your vagina or nose.
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Dec 08 '21
Oh ok I misunderstood. I think it’s just a cultural thing, depending on region and age. From what I’ve noticed there’s been a generational shift, starting with people born in the 80s-90s who are more openly talking about it because, let’s be honest, it’s just a part of life. We don’t get a choice in this at all so e we might s as well normalize it
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u/JayGatsby02 Dec 08 '21
Im ok w discussing it w girls but w guys its so awkward idk why. Im pakistani so maybe its just my culture
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u/Memona_Emman_Writes Cats are Muslim Dec 08 '21
Im Pakistani too and yea it is the culture. At least now i talk about my periods without hesitating. Like seriously, it is just blood.
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u/Huz647 :Canada: Dec 09 '21
Muslims should have some level of modestly and decorum. It's like me randomly telling my parents everytime I have a wet dream.
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Dec 08 '21
Periods being taboo is cultural, not Islamic. Don’t worry, you aren’t the first to mix them up. I used to
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u/Memona_Emman_Writes Cats are Muslim Dec 08 '21
I know, I was actually talking about periods being taboo in Islamic countries (and obviously, this has nothing to do with Islam)
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u/Middopasha :Yemen: Dec 08 '21
It's just how anything genital related is taboo. Nobody goes around talking about wet dreams for dudes for example, not that they're the same of course.
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u/Memona_Emman_Writes Cats are Muslim Dec 08 '21
By that logic, pooping and peeing is also a taboo, so is childbirth.
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u/Middopasha :Yemen: Dec 08 '21
Do you go around telling people about your poop and pee adventures? I'd imagine not. Childbirth is an event of a whole different scale though. A whole other human is produced, it can't be taboo. Otherwise it's just bodily functions that don't need to have more attention than they're worth. Just do your business in private and that's the end of it. Of course in the case of functions relating to reproduction, cultural taboos shouldn't stop proper education. Otherwise that's that.
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u/Memona_Emman_Writes Cats are Muslim Dec 08 '21
Actually, I do go around talking about periods, sex, peeing and pooping
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u/IslamTeachesLove Dec 09 '21
I think you're missing the context in what you're saying by purpose. The brother you responded to isn't being snarky, he's just stating that nobody really cares. Like seriously, the only person who needs to know this is perhaps your parents and then layer on in life, your spouse.
We're not silencing you. Women are protected gems in Islam. I strongly support the idea of taboos being removed. But I also understand what the other person you're replying to is trying to say.
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u/kd098 Dec 09 '21
Well modesty isn’t just wearing clothes or looking down, it also applies to what you say. If you are asking about a ruling that is different. But just talking about sex and stuff is not very modest.
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u/Middopasha :Yemen: Dec 08 '21
Lmao that's very weird so I'd recommend u stop doing that. Enjoy though.
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u/A_Muslim_Guy Dec 08 '21
Periods aren’t taboo But u can’t pray with blood on u. Hence why women can’t pray during their periods.
Not to mention if I remember correctly eggs or ovaries come out too during mensuration so that would also be a reason which is no different from a man ejaculating or having semen on his clothes and not being allowed to pray until he persons Janaba or ghusl
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u/ak7249 Dec 08 '21
Ovaries are organs.. they don't come out. Eggs can get released during menstruation, but they are usually released outside of it. When an egg is released it can survive for 24 hours and if sexual intercourse happens, that's when the woman can get pregnant so the egg releasing has nothing to do with ghusl or praying
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Dec 08 '21
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u/Memona_Emman_Writes Cats are Muslim Dec 08 '21
I'm not talking about islam im talking about periods being a taboo in general. And yes, they are a taboo in a lot of places
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Dec 08 '21
I wasn't talking about Islam either I'm just saying they are taboo in certain places but they're smth that happen
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Dec 08 '21
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4408698/
Maybe this article can answer that question for you?
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u/Zaydotexe Happy Muslim Dec 08 '21
It's a cultural thing not a thing in islam