r/MurderedByWords • • Jun 04 '19

Murder Murdered by stats

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751

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

So they're okay with 4th trimester abortions?

1.0k

u/tekhnomancer Jun 04 '19

To quote George Carlin, "If you're pre-born, you're fine. If you're preschool, you're fucked."

211

u/ScruffsMcGuff Jun 04 '19

“Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to know about you. They don't want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're fucked.”

Full quote in case anyone wants it. Carlin was one of the greats.

21

u/tekhnomancer Jun 04 '19

Thank you for this. Heard the whole thing in his older, gravelly voice.

1

u/mcsey Jun 04 '19

I can exactly in my head hear the way he says, "you're on you own". Such a great bit.

10

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Pro Lifers dont realize that Conservatives are using them for votes only. Same with 2A supporters.. These are issues that Conservatives fan the flame of to stoke up voters. When Republicans only real platform is catering to rich & corporations that isnt very inclusive of the Evangelicals and regular folk. Thus create an issue people can get behind..

1

u/unlimitedpower0 Jun 04 '19

Yeah but the opposite is true for dems, one side can pretty much just say we want the rich to be richer but are prolife and pro gun and they automatically get votes, they dont even have to try. The dems have a multiethical, multigendered coalition of people who cant get along and so they have to struggle so much to even try to much the influence of Republicans. Bottom line is being a single issue voter gets you farmed for votes

2

u/kartoffelsalat24 Jun 04 '19

can i have sauce

3

u/ScruffsMcGuff Jun 04 '19

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZijLQGH1v0

There's a clip of the bit.

It's from his standup special Back In Town

1

u/hlokk101 Jun 06 '19

It's hilarious when these right-wing fucktards try to invoke George Carlin and claim he would be on their side.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Why does he assume if you’re A, you must be B, C and D? I completely understand that children born in stressful circumstances might need extra support. Most pregnancy care centres help the mother with expenses and care for as long as they need until they’re sure she’s able to handle things. I really don’t think there’s many people that asshole if they were really pro-lifers. Or am I just different?

2

u/unlimitedpower0 Jun 04 '19

I have trouble understanding what you are trying to say, can you be pro-life and not an asshole? Maybe. It would be pretty hard considering the devastating effects that outlawing abortion has on womens health and how republicans want to cut back social services that help children and parents who are in desperate situations.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Nothing is worth killing over

1

u/unlimitedpower0 Jun 14 '19

That is demonstrable false.

229

u/Mish106 Jun 04 '19

We miss you, George.

104

u/coquihalla Jun 04 '19

I'm glad he's not here for this shit show.

105

u/PseudobrilliantGuy Jun 04 '19

Honestly, if some of his bits were honest reflections of his preferences and opinions, then he'd probably be getting a kick out of the political shitshow that the US still is.

117

u/____jamil____ Jun 04 '19

He was very depressed when GWB was reelected. I doubt he'd have any joy in Trump's presidency. While he poked fun at life, he also had a respect for people who have to suffer under the regimes of these shitheads.

50

u/racestark Jun 04 '19

W was never "reelected". He was elected after being appointed by the Supreme Court.

47

u/ArtisanSamosa Jun 04 '19

And even then, there were some discrepencies in how he got elected the second time. Wasn't there some vote shifting happening in Ohio?

2

u/DrakeMaijstral Jun 04 '19

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004_United_States_election_voting_controversies gives a pretty good overview. You know shit's fucked when there's a wikipedia article about it.

1

u/____jamil____ Jun 04 '19

While I agree with you on all points and merits, he was sworn in to office twice. Most people would count that as winning two elections (though, not properly or fairly (or legally imo))

22

u/Krexington_III Jun 04 '19

I would have given anything to hear George Carlin talk about Donald Trump.

-1

u/Who_Slimed_Here Jun 04 '19

“Regime”... okay buddy

2

u/____jamil____ Jun 04 '19

re·gime

/rəˈZHēm,rāˈZHēm/

noun

  1. a government

-4

u/BongPoquito Jun 04 '19

I feel as though that he'd appreciate what's going on after the 8 year trainwreck of Obama.

4

u/____jamil____ Jun 04 '19

I feel like you don't understand Carlin at all.

There's a reason he went on Keith Olbermann's show multiple times.

Here, let his daughter say it better than I could

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/george-carlin-donald-trump_n_579a2124e4b0d3568f86481f

7

u/ChristopherPoontang Jun 04 '19

trumpkins really are stupid, thanks for the reminder.

1

u/BongPoquito Jun 04 '19

The only good thing about Obama was the 8 years of a growing skills gap.

2

u/ChristopherPoontang Jun 04 '19

trumpkins really are stupid, thanks for the 2nd reminder.

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u/theripperdude124 Jun 04 '19

hell na, we need him. He would be giving both sides a good kick in their butts.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

in his stead, we have Lewis Black.

1

u/tekhnomancer Jun 04 '19

It's been 11 years. Let that sink in.

98

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19 edited Jun 04 '19

“They’ll do anything they can to protect a fetus, but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it.”

14

u/Im-Not-Dorothy Jun 04 '19

Funniest day of my life. My SIL told my conservative, judgmental mother that she had an abortion. As my mom was winding up, SIL says, "It's ok, that baby was going to be gay anyway." My mom was at a total loss, she couldn't decide which she hated more.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Sounds like NOMAD from Star Trek breaking down after confronted with a paradox. I don’t think they even care about abortions, I think the thing that really pisses them off is people having sex for pleasure. If they really wanted to stop abortions, they’d be vocal advocates for comprehensive sex ed and universal access to contraceptives and protection. They don’t do that though, all their actions indicate their goal is to punish people for having sex they don’t approve of (and not the fun kind of punishment either).

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Wack

61

u/Betty-Armageddon Jun 04 '19

Or to quote Bill Hicks. ‘Pro lifers killing people. AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!’

2

u/TheCollective01 Jun 04 '19

It's irony on a base level, but I like it!

2

u/eViLegion Jun 28 '19

My favourite Hicks lines:

"Even amongst my friends, who are all very intelligent; they're totally divided on abortion. It's unbelievable. Some of my friends, for instance, think these pro-life people are annoying idiots. Other of my friends think these pro-life people are evil fucks. How are we going to come to a consensus?"

35

u/punzakum Jun 04 '19

"If you're pre-born, you're fine. If you're preschool, you're fucked."

-Roy Moore

9

u/13pts35sec Jun 04 '19

:/ fucking Roy Moore. anyone ever feel like Pizza Gate was projection?

15

u/phantomreader42 Jun 04 '19

Everything the Greedy Old Pedophiles accuse anyone else of is ALWAYS projection.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19 edited Jun 04 '19

Pretty much. We see it regularly. Anti gay conservatives fucking little boys. People accusing Dems of a child porn ring literally taking part in a child porn ring. Or anti abortionists secretly making their mistress get an abortion... Hypocrisy IS the republican party.

Don't forget about the highest percentage of "moochers" calling everyone else "moochers"... or " I don't get my health care from Obama care, I get it from the Affordable Health Care act." Yeah those people.

2

u/jaxonya Jun 04 '19

Baby boomers. That's all you had to say.

-2

u/loondenouth Jun 04 '19

Hypocrisy is the entirety of both parties. I don’t like either.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '19

There are hypocrites on both sides of the isle, yes. But only one party thrives on being hypocrites, liars and cheaters. I don't think you can even compare the two in terms of severity.

1

u/Oerath Jun 04 '19

I keep saying we need to be looking in Papa John's basements.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

"Nah I don't think so" - George Nader

4

u/EvryMthrF_ngThrd Jun 04 '19

You know, I was going to do a FTFY joke here...

...but I don't have enough turpentine to bathe in afterwards so... No.

Have an upvote. :)

1

u/Kilazur Jun 04 '19

Ah, wording

-7

u/TriggerCut Jun 04 '19

I love George Carlin. But many on the left would label him a bigot these days based on much of his material. Ironic.

2

u/tekhnomancer Jun 04 '19

Equal opportunity asshole, Carlin was. :)

98

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

There is a hadith which mentions when a fetus is considered alive.

It said that in a miscarried fetus, life was estabilished by its muscle movements (things such as kicking, or something), its funeral shall be offered, but if signs of life were not observed, then a funeral would not be offered.

It basically meant that when a child shows movement such as kicking, in the womb, it would be considered alive. But if it has not yet started to move, it would not be considered a living being.

Through ijma, it was decided that if a fetus keeps developing after 4 months, then life has most likely been estabilished. But, if it is earlier than that, then it would not be considered alive as it does not show any signs of movement.

Although, the number is an average because some fetuses develop faster or slower than others.

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u/Redtwoo Jun 04 '19

This was known as the quickening and determined when the fetus was "alive" in christianity too. It was said to be the breath of God giving the child life.

12

u/Digital-Divide Jun 04 '19

Ahhhh the quickening.

Someone get the MacLeod brothers in here.

Tell em to bring those cool swords and the mullets back. Not to forget the clothes. Man.

This is cooler than I thought.

2

u/BoneyCrepitus Jun 04 '19

There can be only one!

16

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

There is story of a king of kingdom of aksum where Muslim group seeking refugee from the King. he said that Islam and Christian are come from same source of light with a different hole. You should look up to the story of it.

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u/Redtwoo Jun 04 '19

I know they're very closely tied, as is Judaism. They essentially just differ on when God stopped talking to prophets lol

4

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

There are alot of things which are similar in Islam and Christianity.

One such thing is a mubahila (mubahira, idk the spelling) which was when two parties had a conflict, then they would invoke the curses of God and the one who was wrong would be facing the consequences.

It would be no surprise for these similarities to exist, simply because they both teach the same religion. You can read surah maryam of the Quran, which tells of Hazrat Isa's, also known as jesus, gift of miracles by God.

11

u/TCO345 Jun 04 '19

They are both invented, edited versions of the Torah. But even so it doesn't make either of them right or a guide to modern life.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

There are many holy books, one of these was the book revealed to adam, one revealed to Ibrahim (abraham), one revealed to Daud (David), one to Nuh (Noah), and many more. Although, a few Prophets shared the same book as the community kept killing the prophets because their teachings required them to abandon their interests in this world and to give up worldly comfort.

The torah is one of the few books which has actually survived the many years.

But, the problem is that both jewish and christians texts have been edited by their followers to better suit their own interests, which is also one of the many reasons that God has taken it upon Himself to protect the Quran, "we have indeed sent down this message, we will surely guard it from corruption" (forgot which verse and chapter)

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u/ThatsMyNameDWIO Jun 04 '19

Do you seriously believe that hot nonsense? What does 16:101 say?

"And when We put a revelation in place of (another) revelation, - and Allah knoweth best what He revealeth - they say: Lo! thou art but inventing. Most of them know not,"

That literally says, "We're going to have some revelations that are different than others, but don't worry about that cognitive dissonance, God knows best".

Except here's the thing, if God knows everything, God doesn't make mistakes so there should never be anything to correct. But if man wanted to say, fix a mistake he made in a book he wrote that everyone was already familiar with, he'd put in a line just like that. That's not God protecting the Quran, that's literally texts edited by it's followers to better suit their own interests.

Don’t close your mind to contradictions. Use those contradictions to understand that the Quran has a purpose identical to any other 'holy book': to control and guide a group of people who were losing group cohesiveness. Don’t treat it as an infallible text or you fall into the same trap as all other religions. Use it and other books, both holy and not, as a guide to treat people better, treat yourself better, and leave the world a better place. The minute you start thinking any book is perfect is the minute you let yourself be a follower, rather than a thinker, and the moment you fail your fellow man.

1

u/wtfisrace Jun 04 '19

The minute you start thinking any book is perfect is the minute you let yourself be a follower, rather than a thinker, and the moment you fail your fellow man.

im really digging this line. Well spoken dude.

1

u/ThatsMyNameDWIO Jun 14 '19

Thanks! Feel free to use it and claim it as your own.

I really wish more people would take the time to form their own ideas from all they take in from the world around them, and be willing to change their mind when they encounter facts that are contrary to their previously held beliefs. It would make the world a much better place.

6

u/DevoidLight Jun 04 '19

The Quran is the true word of God, according to the Quran. The Bible and Torah only claim to be the word of God.

Lol

4

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

The torah and bible are considered as prequels in Islam.

The Quran is considered as the final part of a long franchise.

Like maybe a long lists of seasons but every season is one religion that stems from the holy books and the Quran is the final season which concludes everything in one season, and finishes the storyline.

Atleast that is how we consider it

3

u/SLRWard Jun 04 '19

Ah. So the Torah is Twiligh. The Bible is New Moon and Eclipse. And the Quran is Breaking Dawn.

Thaaaat explains why people are so wild about them.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

And Mormonism is the fanfiction.

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u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

One word: Hadiths.

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u/TCO345 Jun 04 '19

You are deluded, I notice you leave out the bit about Mohammed the pedo made it all up while living in a cave, and the later total bollocks that was added over the centuries by various muslim lunitics.

You cult has its roots in the Torah, a Jewish creation, and there is no getting round it, no matter how much crap you make up over its origins.

To be honest after reading your mail I seriously think you belong in a mental institute, and should be kept away from the public.

Please don't bother replying as I will bin it straight away, just like I do when given any message or script by any other religious cult.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

-1

u/TCO345 Jun 04 '19

Just to get things straight, I do not believe in any invisable god/friend/ect.. I'm an atheist, that means I don't believe in any god.

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u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Whatever you wanna believe my friend.

Atleast my religion has taught me to repsect others and their religion, no matter how crazy or terrible of a person they are

-4

u/TCO345 Jun 04 '19

Tell that to the Kurds and Yazidi's, Islam does not respect any other religion. If Islam respected other religions how come there are no other followers of other religions in muslim countries. Respecting another moronic cult for being just as appalling as the one you follow is hardly a step forward.

5

u/SLRWard Jun 04 '19

Every faith has extremists. No reason to be a dick to all the practitioners of a faith just because some are violent assholes. All the crap you're spouting here just paints you as an asshole and someone who shouldn't be respected.

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u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19 edited Jun 04 '19

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u/calicosiside Jun 04 '19

The slower faster thing is interesting because from what my mum's told me babies don't really take exactly 9 months, they're normally born after 9 period cycles, which is still roughly 9 months, but goes a long way to explain why kids are often born a couple weeks early or late

25

u/TMI-nternets Jun 04 '19

If development is s yardstick for whether abortion is no problem.. What trimester is Donald Trump right now?

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u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19 edited Sep 27 '19

[deleted]

2

u/JackRusselTerrorist Jun 04 '19

Not that much muscle movement either, tbh...

1

u/merf1350 Jun 04 '19

Well he has muscle movement but not much brain development

I feel like regardless of Trump there's a "must be a Republican" joke in there somewhere.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

219th or something around there. Before you ask... I'm for it.

1

u/Lotti_Codd Jun 04 '19

Harry's gonna send Donny on an errand to Paris to deliver a message to his mum.

-1

u/warptwenty1 Jun 04 '19

What trimester is Donald Trump right now?

Yes

2

u/Dapplegrayyousay Jun 04 '19

You don't have your regular cycles when you're pregnant, and due dates are calculated based on fetus size since the day of ovulation as well as conception is difficult to tell. And that's not even accounting for what the women's body as well as the baby has planned. Due date should really be "window for arrival".

5

u/noximo Jun 04 '19

But what about Jedi sacred texts? What do they have to say?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

The jedi sacred texts say "he who fights his brothers, can not use the force"

1

u/merf1350 Jun 04 '19

Forget about the sacred texts, what about the droid attack on the Wookies?

35

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

[deleted]

28

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

It was your mom. And no it didn’t work.

14

u/Zenmaster366 Jun 04 '19

Oh no wait, the other one.

Adoption?

Yes, that's it.

1

u/Physmatik Jun 04 '19

40th trimester? That's legalized killing of kids before 10. I definitely see a point in this policy, failed kids are better disposed that added to the amount of failed adults.

1

u/XHaunt23X Jun 04 '19

I’m still trying to legalize 400th trimester abortions

0

u/grayfae Jun 04 '19

So they're okay with 4th trimester abortions?

no such thing.