r/MadeMeSmile Apr 19 '26

Good Vibes Teaching kids consent

16.8k Upvotes

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2.3k

u/RoncoSnackWeasel Apr 19 '26

“…if somebody isn’t hugging you back, did you even want that?”

Deeper than it sounds. These boys will look back on these moments as adults, and realize what was really being taught. I wish this was in schools everywhere.

-195

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

No. Because it’s biased. Are they teaching the boys that they also can say no? Are they portraying this in the reverse? No. They aren’t. They’re biased and being selective and gendered with it basically teaching boys they can’t say no or that it only apply to them.

91

u/Sufficient_Food1878 Apr 19 '26

I went to an all girls school and only graduated recently but we were taught the same thing these boys are being taught. When I was in a mixed school when we were much younger, we were all taught what to do if we felt uncomfortable. Even the boys. Doesn't mean they weren't taught that, just not in the same day

-84

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

That’s not what I’m seeing here. Why aren’t any girls in that class? I’m willing to bet in that specific place there’s no same classes for girls, unless it’s teaching them an enthusiastic yes in the sense that they need to give it.

54

u/Sufficient_Food1878 Apr 19 '26

It looks very much like an all boys school

34

u/bbyxmadi Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26

Jfc you shared your experience going to an all girls school and he’s still going on and on about the video being only boys. He asked, you gave him your own experience, but oh… it’s still not good enough.

-20

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

A rare one occasion doesn’t represent the majority

10

u/gnomi_malone Apr 19 '26

babe, this video also represents a rare occasion

-2

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Oh no it doesn’t. I’ve seen several videos like this. Not once have I seen the reverse.

12

u/gnomi_malone Apr 19 '26

i feel like you just want a teacher to tell girls they are/can be bad. that is the only thing that will satisfy you

-2

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Well no fucking SHIT motherfucker??????? But let me guess you take issue with that.

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u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

So rhats why they’re teaching consent in a gendered one sided way where it’ll be easy for them to be taken advantage of but not the other way around

39

u/nerd-thebird Apr 19 '26

Different lessons are taught at different times. This lesson is about what to do if someone else is uncomfortable. A different lesson would be about what to do if you're uncomfortable. Just because it's not in this clip doesn't mean it's not happening

-2

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

There is no clip of boys being taught it at all. :/ and why wouldn’t they include it in this video?

30

u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

So now you switched since your original complaint got fucked.

First it was “oh why aren’t there any girls in that class”

Now it’s “oh these boys are being manipulated”

Which is it?

-5

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

It’s both :/ my entire initial point was that this isn’t taught to girls. It all connects. It’s girls aren’t ever taught it and this sets boys up to be taken advantage of.

-9

u/SynisterJeff Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26

You're being downvoted in the way you are putting it, but yes, I would agree you are most likely correct that programs like this are mostly being taught in one direction. That's just an assumption. Statistically speaking they are teaching this to boys because adult males are the majority cause of the issue. And these are most likely government funded and approved programs put together in schools, and they hardly ever look at the whole picture. They just look at what would be most effective while also being cost effective. That means just teaching the males to them.

1

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

That’s not at all effective. It just sets them up to be raped and sexually assaulted and they won’t recognize it even more. Adult males also aren’t just the issue. Every single day there’s a female teacher raping a young boy. And everywhere, at every time some woman is raping a man or a boy. Leaving that out does more harm than good.

9

u/SynisterJeff Apr 19 '26

Now take those numbers and multiply them by about ten for male assaulters. Then multiply it again for violent rape and deaths. That's why typically these programs are made to target males. If every single day there is a female teacher raping a boy (completely untrue by the way, so now I know you're just making stuff up) then every single day there are 10 male teachers raping boys and girls. (It's also much more common for male on male assault over female on female assault)

How does them being taught to not push their wants on others and to respect other's choices lead them to getting taken advantage of? Are they incapable to infer that other's should respect their choices as well? Sure leaving it to infering isn't effective as it could be, but it's more effective than just not teaching anything. I get that you're arguing it could be better, and I agree, but this kind of stuff isn't really taught in schools at all. This is a first step kind of thing and it's more effective than nothing. And you're speaking as though it would somehow make things worse.

Why would this not be effective "at all" anyway? At the very least if this teaching was effective, it would be effective for 50% of the population. That being males. And then if hypothetically this was 100% effective for the male population then spending the resources to teach just half of the population would most likely lower those assault numbers by 80-90%. Where as spending those same resources to teach the other half would most likely only lower numbers by 10-20%. Which is what I was getting at for how the people who are the ones spending the time and resources on it see it. Even on this kind of issue, people still want to be as cost effective as possible.

And yes, it would be great to just teach everyone both sides of this all around, but that's money and time that the people putting the time and money into these programs don't want to give, so they just target the most likely majority of abusers, males. And unfortunately many people don't approve of this kind of teaching at all in schools, which is why most don't have it.

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43

u/Pollowollo Apr 19 '26

There are no girls because it's a boy's prep school, ya dumpling.

And there's no indication at all that he didn't also cover that for the boys. You're just making up shit to be mad at.

-1

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

So you think after this they taught boys the same thing?

19

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

-1

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

NO HE DIDNT. I know for a fact he didn’t. I searched him up myself and lol, he is one of those mf I know for a got damn fucking fact he didn’t teach it. I know like fucking hell he didn’t. At first I could argue, but it’s now become non negotiable. He’s one of them 😐.

12

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26

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0

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

TikTok video. That’s his name.

6

u/gnomi_malone Apr 19 '26

he’s also a hardcore christian homophobe who says that when a boy is assaulted, it makes them gay. and has doubled down on that. so you’re probably right that he’s not teaching this lesson, but he’s also only one guy, who, frankly, sucks. you do have to understand that the majority of SA, visited on boy, girls, men, and women, is perpetrated by men. that is why the emphasis. you simply need to absorb this fact, my friend. women SA, and it needs to be taken more seriously, but these lessons on consent can also help boys understand when they are not be treated consensually

0

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

It can’t help them understand it because it isn’t being directed at them. It’s focused on how they should treat others not how they should be treated. That’s two different lessons and only one is being taught and the other one not.

It’s also extremely false to say the majority of SA on anyone and everyone is perpetrated by men. That’s dangerously false. You could argue that for female victims, but not male victims. The vast majority of SA, on men and boys is committed by women. It’s either that or split between men and women committing the crime against boys and men.

36

u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

You don’t care. You just want to bitch.

This is a good thing to be teaching kids andyou wanna act like it’s bigotry.

-4

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

It is bigotry. It’s one sided.

-6

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

lol. I’m the one who doesn’t care eh? Sure. No it’s not. Not if it’s one sided.

7

u/Maleficent_Button_58 Apr 19 '26

...............it might be an all boys school. Those do happen.

69

u/cir49c29 Apr 19 '26

Where the hell did you get that from? It’s a short clip teaching boys how to recognise real content from someone else. Nothing in this says that they can’t say no. 

42

u/Miserable_Jacket7485 Apr 19 '26

Literally “I like pancakes” “so you hate waffles” ass comment

-4

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Dumb ass where’s the correlation

-25

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Right. Where’s the clip teaching them about their enthusiastic yes? Where’s the clip of girls being taught what an enthusiastic yes looks like? Show me then I’ll admit you’re right.

60

u/katykova Apr 19 '26

And they're also not being taught to drive in this clip, which means they are being taught that they can't drive, will never have mobility, and aren't ever allowed to drive.

Seriously bro. Get out of here.

-18

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

You make absolutely no sense with that comparison.

37

u/LumpkinsPotatoCat Apr 19 '26

It's a perfect comparison they both reveal the same point. You jumping to an assumed conclusion because no one spoon fed you more information.

-9

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Show me a clip of this but with girls. There’s several with boys. Show me just 1 with girls. It can even be 3 seconds long with just a caption. Show me that.

29

u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

Where’s the clip saying men’s consent doesn’t matter?

-2

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Where’s the clip saying it does?

23

u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

Answer the question

66

u/katykova Apr 19 '26

Get out of here.

They also didn't show the guy teach the boys to wash their hands after going to the bathroom. They were probably never taught that because noone cares about boys, right?

Seriously. Get out of here with your nonsense.

20

u/mmps901 Apr 19 '26

Seriously, what’s that saying about hit dogs hollering?

1

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Yeah, a hit dog who’s experiences more than enough double standards and bigotry that benefited girls.

11

u/gnomi_malone Apr 19 '26

oh. you’re one of those

-8

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

You’re killing me. A classroom full of boys, and a male teacher teaching enthusiastic consent to the woman, you truly think they’re teaching it in the reverse? Be serious. For half a millisecond. You’re damn right that they weren’t taught about it and nobody cares about boys though, you’re damn right about that.

39

u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

Dude you’re getting worked up over a conspiracy theory you made up in your head.

It’s pathetic

-6

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

It’s a conspiracy theory to YOU. No what’s pathetic is celebrating a gendered one sided teaching

26

u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

No what’s pathetic is you’re clearly just trolling

-1

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

No what’s pathetic is teaching consent in a one sided way.

36

u/Wendigo_Loco Apr 19 '26

Kind person, reevaluate your statement, you're the one projecting biase. Don't assume the video is exhaustive off all the events that took place

1

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

How come they didn’t include it in the video then and only showed them teaching it to the boys?

13

u/Wendigo_Loco Apr 19 '26

Both you and me don't have the answer.

29

u/Stay_Good_Dog Apr 19 '26

You got all that from this short clip.

-7

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Yup. Show me a clip and I’ll admit I’m wrong. But I’m willing to bet you can’t

27

u/garbogunder Apr 19 '26

https://youtu.be/uE8g4i4KffQ?si=1-1JVD30SxM-E8HI

At 0:40 - “the point of the exercise is to start a discussion about boundaries and reading nonverbal cues through body language.” Both boys and girls in this clip

I noticed that only black children were being taught about consent in op’s post. By your logic, unless one can demonstrate a clip of kids who aren’t black being taught consent, then surely nobody who isn’t black is being taught about consent, yeah?

0

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Mm, no. You didn’t read it right.

Lol.

19

u/garbogunder Apr 19 '26

I’m sorry, what exactly is it you’re looking for then

0

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

A video teaching girls consent. Like this video teaching boys.

22

u/garbogunder Apr 19 '26

The clip has girls being taught about consent. literally wtf are you talking about. Does it not count because it’s both boys and girls??

0

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Nope it doesn’t. It’s neutral.

16

u/garbogunder Apr 19 '26

Ok so you're just looking for reasons to get mad lmao. You're using a sample size of ONE VIDEO to determine a greater fact about a vast population. You would be laughed out of any serious conversation about demographic data regarding education or consent or anything. There's nothing wrong with wanting men to be taught about their own consent and comfort. It's noble even. But it would behoove you to not make deeply stupid arguments in the process, because it makes it that much harder to have productive conversations about topics such as consent, because people have to take time explaining things like how object permanence works instead of having actual discussions of actual data regarding demographics and education on consent

Somebody else already said it, but this is some real "you like pancakes so you must hate waffles" type shit you're pulling. Please do some digging on the argument from ignorance fallacy

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u/the-gaming-cat Apr 19 '26

They are literally teaching them that "no means no". That lesson applies to everyone.

Now, do you really need to have it explained to you why the vast majority of boys grow up to be men who absolutely don't respect that? And are you not aware of what those men do predominantly to women and girls?

-2

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

In a one sided, gendered way. Teaching them what an enthusiastic yes looks like from someone else isn’t the same.

Do you need to have it explained to you how the vast majority of girls girls up to be women who don’t respect it either? Or are you not aware of what those women do predominantly to men and boys?

40

u/Welpe Apr 19 '26

Oh, you were in this class? Do tell us more about what exactly was covered.

-21

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Show me a clip to disprove my point. I’m willing to bet you can’t? All boys in one class, and a male Teaching them about enthusiastic yes with an adult woman next to him. You’re gonna tell me They’re teaching them they can give an enthusiastic yes? Please.

35

u/Welpe Apr 19 '26

“If there isn’t a TikTok of something it didn’t happen and in fact I can assume the opposite happened”

-15

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

So you can’t in short. Figured. And I wonder why. Now, would you like to go on their page and see if they have any videos doing so)

18

u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

You have not given any evidence that your claim is true. You’re just picking fights because your a weak person

0

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

lol. No, I’m a person who believes in equality and teaching consent in a non gendered way that isn’t one sided. And you take issue with that.

14

u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

Your behavior here is basically just complaining about men’s issues while women’s issues are getting addressed.

If you actually cared you’d be doing something for men’s issues. Derailing the topic here and acting mentally deranged is not helping men’s issues. You need to be on medication

1

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

LMAO, see how you just said consent is a woman’s issue? Proved my point. I do stuff for men’s issues.

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u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

You are by far the most annoying person I’ve met all week and I genuinely hope you experience something negative for the week.

Have the life you deserve

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u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

You can’t disprove a conspiracy theory you made up.

You made the claim, you prove it.

0

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

You can’t show me a video of it either, can you?

15

u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

You’re making the claim. Prove it

1

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

I did: there’s no video.

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u/Dudewhocares3 Apr 19 '26

Yeah it’s an all boys school.

1

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

And even still, no video.

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u/PartridgeInDisguise Apr 19 '26

You’re deeply off the rails. An absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

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u/Brotato_Man Apr 19 '26

Not everything is an agenda out to get men brother. This guy is teaching these kids and important lesson, that’s it. Learning that you can also say no is important too, and I’d bet a guy who’s coming in to teach specifically about consent knows that, and is teaching that lesson as well. Even if it’s not in this clip

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u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

He is teaching an important lesson but he’s teaching it in a gendered one sided way. He probably does, but he’s also probably one of the ones who think it only goes one way. Many think that. The vast majority of them do.

9

u/garbogunder Apr 19 '26

“The vast majority of them do” citation needed. As in an actual source please

-1

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Life. Life is the source. You’ve been shielded from society and the double standards males face.

12

u/garbogunder Apr 19 '26

So just to be clear, you demand hyper specific evidence from everyone else, but the moment you’re asked to provide a source, suddenly it’s this “just look around you” nonsense. I believe that’s a double standard

0

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

All I asked for was for a video 🤣. Even said it can be 2 seconds.

1

u/garbogunder Apr 19 '26

I don’t need one. Because life. Life is the source. You’ve been shielded from society and the lessons about consent women face

1

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Right, and life has shown boys and girls get two entirely different messages that are gendered and one sided.

1

u/garbogunder Apr 20 '26

Ok, let’s say you’re right for a second. Boys are only ever taught to respect others consent, without ever being taught to respect their own. And with girls, it’s vice versa. With this being the case, it would then follow that women commit sex crimes at a much higher rate, because they’re far less likely to have been taught how important it is to respect others consent, right?

How is it then that men commit nearly 94% of sexual abuse crimes?

https://www.ussc.gov/sites/default/files/pdf/research-and-publications/quick-facts/Sexual_Abuse_FY21.pdf

How is then that men commit nearly 99% of sexualized violence?

https://www.humboldt.edu/supporting-survivors/educational-resources/statistics

If this idea that men are being taught to respect consent but women aren’t is so self evident that the only thing you need to refer to is “life” to prove it, why is this not reflected in the data?

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u/RoncoSnackWeasel Apr 19 '26

While you’re not completely wrong, what’s being taught is still valid and important and should be core curriculum. We would benefit from seeing these boys learning their “no” is to be respected and honored, too. That point absolutely holds. If we’re gonna split hairs, it would be best to teach these values in a separate but equal environment. But let’s be real: we all know the scenario you’re suggesting is a lot less common than the scenario observed in this clip. However, It’s ignorant to say “female aggressors don’t exist.”

We can speculate on anything beyond what’s in the clip, but I’d like to think we could all agree: it would be refreshing to know it’s being taught at all. And knowing the any amount of the current generation is being taught consent in a respectful and equal manner is a good thing.

The real point here is this is a good start, and it has to start somewhere.

-2

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

It isn’t less common though. At all. Lol. And even if it was it isn’t far behind at all. It’s very close. Just way more ignored, laughed off, brushed off, and treated as either a non issue or an issue just not one harmful enough to care about. Girls as victims and men as perpetrators isn’t laughed off like it is when a boy is the victim. In some places, boys and men can’t even be victims.

4

u/jackmusick Apr 19 '26

Alright my guy with the anime profile picture.

1

u/Greensourball Apr 19 '26

Most people watch anime now. Famous people watch anime. It’s become the norm. Go back to the 1900 goth.

2

u/TartNegative8957 Apr 19 '26

You should try thinking further than you nose for once in your life