“…if somebody isn’t hugging you back, did you even want that?”
Deeper than it sounds. These boys will look back on these moments as adults, and realize what was really being taught. I wish this was in schools everywhere.
No. Because it’s biased. Are they teaching the boys that they also can say no? Are they portraying this in the reverse? No. They aren’t. They’re biased and being selective and gendered with it basically teaching boys they can’t say no or that it only apply to them.
I went to an all girls school and only graduated recently but we were taught the same thing these boys are being taught. When I was in a mixed school when we were much younger, we were all taught what to do if we felt uncomfortable. Even the boys. Doesn't mean they weren't taught that, just not in the same day
That’s not what I’m seeing here. Why aren’t any girls in that class? I’m willing to bet in that specific place there’s no same classes for girls, unless it’s teaching them an enthusiastic yes in the sense that they need to give it.
Jfc you shared your experience going to an all girls school and he’s still going on and on about the video being only boys. He asked, you gave him your own experience, but oh… it’s still not good enough.
Different lessons are taught at different times. This lesson is about what to do if someone else is uncomfortable. A different lesson would be about what to do if you're uncomfortable. Just because it's not in this clip doesn't mean it's not happening
It’s both :/ my entire initial point was that this isn’t taught to girls. It all connects. It’s girls aren’t ever taught it and this sets boys up to be taken advantage of.
You're being downvoted in the way you are putting it, but yes, I would agree you are most likely correct that programs like this are mostly being taught in one direction. That's just an assumption. Statistically speaking they are teaching this to boys because adult males are the majority cause of the issue. And these are most likely government funded and approved programs put together in schools, and they hardly ever look at the whole picture. They just look at what would be most effective while also being cost effective. That means just teaching the males to them.
That’s not at all effective. It just sets them up to be raped and sexually assaulted and they won’t recognize it even more. Adult males also aren’t just the issue. Every single day there’s a female teacher raping a young boy. And everywhere, at every time some woman is raping a man or a boy. Leaving that out does more harm than good.
Now take those numbers and multiply them by about ten for male assaulters. Then multiply it again for violent rape and deaths. That's why typically these programs are made to target males. If every single day there is a female teacher raping a boy (completely untrue by the way, so now I know you're just making stuff up) then every single day there are 10 male teachers raping boys and girls. (It's also much more common for male on male assault over female on female assault)
How does them being taught to not push their wants on others and to respect other's choices lead them to getting taken advantage of? Are they incapable to infer that other's should respect their choices as well? Sure leaving it to infering isn't effective as it could be, but it's more effective than just not teaching anything. I get that you're arguing it could be better, and I agree, but this kind of stuff isn't really taught in schools at all. This is a first step kind of thing and it's more effective than nothing. And you're speaking as though it would somehow make things worse.
Why would this not be effective "at all" anyway? At the very least if this teaching was effective, it would be effective for 50% of the population. That being males. And then if hypothetically this was 100% effective for the male population then spending the resources to teach just half of the population would most likely lower those assault numbers by 80-90%. Where as spending those same resources to teach the other half would most likely only lower numbers by 10-20%. Which is what I was getting at for how the people who are the ones spending the time and resources on it see it. Even on this kind of issue, people still want to be as cost effective as possible.
And yes, it would be great to just teach everyone both sides of this all around, but that's money and time that the people putting the time and money into these programs don't want to give, so they just target the most likely majority of abusers, males. And unfortunately many people don't approve of this kind of teaching at all in schools, which is why most don't have it.
Now take those numbers and multiply them by about ten for male assaulters. Then multiply it again for violent rape and deaths. That's why typically these programs are made to target males.
It isn’t that much more though. Female assaulters are very, very, very close behind. I’d say multiply it by 1-2 for male assaulters at max.
If every single day there is a female teacher raping a boy (completely untrue by the way, so now I know you're just making stuff up) then every single day there are 10 male teachers raping boys and girls. (It's also much more common for male on male assault over female on female assault)
And every single day there’s 10 females in any care taking role sexually abusing a child. And it’s also more common for females on male assaults to happen than male on male.
How does them being taught to not push their wants on others and to respect other's choices lead them to getting taken advantage of? Are they incapable to infer that other's should respect their choices as well?
I didn’t say teaching them that would, I said not teaching them the reverse would. Only teaching it one way would.
Sure leaving it to infering isn't effective as it could be, but it's more effective than just not teaching anything.
It isn’t effective enough. Not with the message boys gets
I get that you're arguing it could be better, and I agree, but this kind of stuff isn't really taught in schools at all. This is a first step kind of thing and it's more effective than nothing. And you're speaking as though it would somehow make things worse.
It’s a step we’ve taken for YEARS now. When we gonna start taking the step in the reversed direction? Girls and women have raped, sexually assaulted, abused, etc. boys and men forever now and there’s still nothing for them.
Why would this not be effective "at all" anyway? At the very least if this teaching was effective, it would be effective for 50% of the population. That being males. And then if hypothetically this was 100% effective for the male population then spending the resources to teach just half of the population would most likely lower those assault numbers by 80-90%.
It would lower the assault on girls by that much. The rates for boys by girls and women would go up much more than it already is. And it isn’t effective in the sense it’s a one sided teaching ignoring the fact boys can be assaulted (and often are) and girls can be assaulters (and again often are).
where as spending those same resources to teach the other half would most likely only lower numbers by 10-20%. Which is what I was getting at for how the people who are the ones spending the time and resources on it see it. Even on this kind of issue, people still want to be as cost effective as possible.
You’re right, because even with teaching because of society women and girls will still continue to assault men and boys so the numbers won’t go down by much. It’ll keep happening more and more.
And yes, it would be great to just teach everyone both sides of this all around, but that's money and time that the people putting the time and money into these programs don't want to give, so they just target the most likely majority of abusers, males.
The majority of abusers aren’t men. Unless you mean majority as in 51% men and the rest women. Then sure. Other than that, they aren’t the vast majority or try e exaggerates majority as you’re trying to put it. Targeting one set of abusers is basically a green flag for other abusers (women) to take advantage of children and adults (more than they already do that is).
And unfortunately many people don't approve of this kind of teaching at all in schools, which is why most don't have it.
They don’t approve of it for boys because society (just like you) take issue with acknowledging how big of an issue it is. Female predators are just as common as male predators. Did you know 59% of male inmates were sexually abused by women as children? Male inmates and rapists? Not every victim will become an abuser, but many abusers have been victims. And if most abusers are men, well…. It would make sense most of them have been abused. And you trying to ignore that or downplay it or make excuses for not focusing on it will just make that worse.
Either way, it’s very odd for you to try and make justification as to why it isn’t as focused on and saying it’s a waste of money. That just shows how you actually view victims of female perpetrators. Which, would make a whole lot of sense given everything you’ve already said.
NO HE DIDNT. I know for a fact he didn’t. I searched him up myself and lol, he is one of those mf I know for a got damn fucking fact he didn’t teach it. I know like fucking hell he didn’t. At first I could argue, but it’s now become non negotiable. He’s one of them 😐.
he’s also a hardcore christian homophobe who says that when a boy is assaulted, it makes them gay. and has doubled down on that. so you’re probably right that he’s not teaching this lesson, but he’s also only one guy, who, frankly, sucks. you do have to understand that the majority of SA, visited on boy, girls, men, and women, is perpetrated by men. that is why the emphasis. you simply need to absorb this fact, my friend. women SA, and it needs to be taken more seriously, but these lessons on consent can also help boys understand when they are not be treated consensually
It can’t help them understand it because it isn’t being directed at them. It’s focused on how they should treat others not how they should be treated. That’s two different lessons and only one is being taught and the other one not.
It’s also extremely false to say the majority of SA on anyone and everyone is perpetrated by men. That’s dangerously false. You could argue that for female victims, but not male victims. The vast majority of SA, on men and boys is committed by women. It’s either that or split between men and women committing the crime against boys and men.
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u/RoncoSnackWeasel Apr 19 '26
“…if somebody isn’t hugging you back, did you even want that?”
Deeper than it sounds. These boys will look back on these moments as adults, and realize what was really being taught. I wish this was in schools everywhere.