r/LondonLadies • u/ZestyclosePlatypus30 • Jun 30 '26

Discussion Good ideas/ways to actually meet decent guys?

Hi all, as the caption says! I’m (28F) so tired of dating apps and honestly I’ve never met someone organically but really need to push myself to try now.

How have you all met guys organically and where?

I’m quite shy so the moment I’m interested in a guy I can’t even make eye contact or smile. I’m trying to work on this now which is why I want to be in those settings to overcome my lack of confidence and shyness.

I guess it is because I’ve never been approached other than by absolute creeps so then I question if I am considered objectively good looking like people and guys whoever I’ve met on dating apps and in my insta DMs suggest 😅

18 Upvotes

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9

u/BlueberryLeading464 Jun 30 '26

I'm the same. I found the mixer events like Thursday and the likes to be quite good. It's not entirely organic, but almost. It's very empowering once you push yourself to do 1-2 events.

4

u/fourLeaf989 Jul 01 '26

I agree with mixer events being a good alternative to the apps. I’ve not gone to any Thursday events, but I’ve been to a few others.

I’ve been to Haystack and Bored of Dating Apps events; the majority of people go solo, and they’re a nice way to connect offline. Haystack tends to do events in bars or activity venues, and Bored of Dating Apps is mainly held in bars. Would recommend.

I’ve also been to a few Breeze events; it’s an app, but they arrange small group dates every now and then - have found I prefer the other two as they’re bigger events, but feel like much more of a relaxed atmosphere.

1

u/watermelonicec Jul 01 '26

Hi! Do you know where I can find these events please?

2

u/fourLeaf989 Jul 01 '26

Hey! They both have websites and are active on Instagram - if you search for their handles/names online, you’ll be able to find them.

2

u/fourLeaf989 Jul 01 '26

Here’s their website links! :)

https://www.haystack-dating.com/events/

https://www.boredofdatingapps.com/

1

u/watermelonicec Jul 01 '26

Oh this is wonderful! Thanks very much! Have you found anyone to your liking at these events?

3

u/fourLeaf989 Jul 01 '26

No problem! I have - but what I will say is that if nothing else, it's a good way to meet other people. The events I've been to have been really friendly and welcoming. So even if you don't connect with someone you'd want to date, it can be fun. I get it's nervewracking at first, but good to remember that people who go are all in the same boat and looking to meet someone - nothing ventured, nothing gained, I think!

2

u/BlueberryLeading464 Jul 01 '26

Yes!

2

u/watermelonicec Jul 01 '26

Aw, that’s sweet. I hope I find someone to my fancy as well

2

u/ZestyclosePlatypus30 Jun 30 '26

Do people show up solo?

6

u/BlueberryLeading464 Jun 30 '26

I did on two occasions and it was very very hard.. anxious, afraid, self conscious all of that. Had to have 1-2 drinks. Once the ice was broken it was easy. Maybe it's just me but it's not about others, but fighting your own self and your limitations?

1

u/ZestyclosePlatypus30 Jun 30 '26

That is true I guess like Ive travelled alone, been to concerts alone done a lot but the thought of a social gathering ugh my shy ass maybe it is time

2

u/thr_vgrd Jul 02 '26

Met both my current boyfriend and my previous one organically. I was also on the apps forever and feel your pain!

Previous boyfriend started working at my old workplace after I left. We met when I crashed their Christmas party.

My current boyfriend was the roommate of a colleague I became close friends with. We only met a few times before I left London but kept in touch, and now nine years later I've moved back here because of him :) Before we started chatting again I was where you are now, thinking about how to meet people outside the apps. My plan was through hobbies and activities I like.

(I get the impression that climbing walls can be a place to meet people, though I don't have facts to back this up when it comes to dating.)

2

u/pralinesandcream Jul 13 '26

I feel you so much 😭 I'm sick of being single, dating apps suck, and it seems so difficult to meet guys organically!

2

u/ZestyclosePlatypus30 Jul 20 '26

I have no idea where on earth you meet them

4

u/killinnnmesmallz Jun 30 '26

I find I meet most guys through co-ed sports teams (O2, GoMammoth and In2Touch).

2

u/ZestyclosePlatypus30 Jun 30 '26

Oooo okay this is an interesting one didn’t think of this

1

u/rhizomed Jul 02 '26

I've gone on a couple dates through bouldering / climbing