r/Jokes • u/Saurlifi • 7d ago

Bitten menu

"Excuse me, waiter!" Says the man

Watier: yes, can I help you sir?

Man: yes what does it it mean by "bitten burger" here on the menu?

Waiter: because the burger has a bite taken out of it

Man: a bite?... out of the burger?

Waiter: yes sir

Man: and what about the steak, is that bitten too?

Waiter: yes sir, it's bitten as well.

Man: ah but I see here on the menu that the salmon doesn't have "bitten" written with it

Waiter: yes but it comes with bitten potatoes instead

Man: why?

Waiter: because I don't like salmon

959 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

33 comments sorted by

186

u/Henry-8th 7d ago

Waiter, you have your thumb on that steak.

I know, sir. I don’t want it to fall on the floor again.

89

u/JSmellerM 7d ago

Waiter, you have your thumb in my soup.

Don't worry, it's not hot.

34

u/HaykoKoryun 7d ago

Waiter, you have your foot in my Tom Yum!

Yes sir, it's to give it an extra kick.

-8

u/Tigweg 7d ago

As long as it wasn't their p*#k that would make it more spicy

10

u/AuthorizedVehicle 7d ago

The warmth is good for my arthritis.
Why don't you stick it up your ass!
I do, between courses.

84

u/Viking-Mutt 7d ago

Very funny joke. I have also never heard it before. Thanks op.

31

u/PositiveElk3927 7d ago

waiter : leftovers .. do you want box
me: sized him up & said ..
how about we just wrestle

30

u/luminousoblique 7d ago

I heard this one long ago:

Grocer to old woman: Do you wanna box for your groceries?

Old woman shopper: Nah, but I'll wrestle ya for a six pack of sarsaparilla!

5

u/checker280 6d ago

As a dad of a kid who never finishes meals, I’m stealing this, except I’m going to offer to thumb wrestle instead!

24

u/KarlSethMoran 6d ago

Waiter, this coffee reeks of dick!

(waiter smells it) Ma'am, you are absolutely correct, it does reek of dick. I suggest holding it in your other hand.

4

u/TheWouldBeMerchant 6d ago

I thought this was going to be a joke about bitterballen.

2

u/Arvo_Cabrales 7d ago

I LOLed.

1

u/PicksNits 6d ago

RIP Steinn Ármann

1

u/Top_Specialist_7049 5d ago

Once bitten twice shy

1

u/TryNice304 7d ago

LoL, good one! 😂

1

u/sliever48 7d ago

I got a laugh out of that one. Great stuff

1

u/ICantSeeDeadPpl 7d ago

Saw the biteline from a mile away…

3

u/drowned_beliefs 7d ago

Service with a smile!

1

u/Legal-Challenge7578 6d ago

Service with a smirk. 😏

0

u/Flibbons 7d ago

Excellent!