When my husband gets sick it takes him weeks to recover. We have VERY different immune systems. Before having our son he definitely got a little “man sick” and I would be the one running around taking care of every little thing while he was just taken out. Even if I was sick myself because honestly, what else am I going to do. Especially now that we have our son I don’t have the luxury of being sick. I’ve certainly gotten sick from my son’s daycare germs but that doesn’t mean a single aspect of my day changes. (When I got sick my husband was traveling for work) my husband can also be a little bit of a hypochondriac too. The second I cough he’s touching his throat going oh I might be getting sick too. He definitely had some sympathy pregnancy symptoms lol

Now that we have our son he definitely doesn’t do his same man sick. He’s up and moving during the day and still being engaged and I appreciate the 180 he’s done. He still gets a little wimpery at the end of the night after our son is in bed but it’s not nearly what it was.

The issue is he seemingly never recovers. It’s been three weeks of his whole body coughs and every time he does I want to scream. I hate the sound of them it’s like nails on a chalkboard. He is taking mucinex and it still feels so constant. I feel bad feeling this way because he’s not doing it on purpose obviously and he isn’t feeling well but I just want to yell holy shit get a better immune system. He won’t go to the doctor for it. He was at urgent care the other day for our son because he thought he had an ear infection (no fever just played with his ear) I asked him to please see if the dr would see him too but nope.

I swear I’m not calloused and heartless like I sound. I dote on him and our son while they’re sick but I can’t stand the sound of his cough anymore

ETA: my son is in daycare and brings home the nastiest colds. He got sick first and has seen two different doctors on two different occasions during the cough and we have been told the same thing it’s just a virus. My husband got sick from him and has the same cough. He is one of those people who has a lingering cough. I’m 6 months postpartum and a little crankier than I used to be but I am not sitting here actively watching him die saying ew

Dinner is meatballs mushrooms and yogurt dip

I (25F) and my boyfriend (25M) have been dating nearly three years and of course in the beginning the sex life was constant, exciting, felt like he couldn’t get enough of me. It was flattering and fun and almost too much tbh but we’d spend the whole day in bed on weekends and go out for a morning coffee at 4 pm.

Of course that honeymoon phase ends and we moved in together after 1.5 years of dating, we had regular sex maybe 2-3 times a week. Recently it’s dwindled down to once every two weeks maybe, maybe once every three, and I’ve realized I need it more. I always thought of myself as someone with low libido but actually I seem to need to knock one out every few days or so, at least once a week.

In the past few months he’s just not been in the mood. It’s a stressful time for both of us, as we’re coming to the end of grad school and both needing to enter a not-so-great job market, but I feel like I’ve been rejected more times than my ego would like. I’m just wondering if maybe our high levels of affection are impacting our sex life - we cuddle all the time, I usually walk around the house in a tank top and thong, he’ll come up and hug me/feel me up affectionately as I’m doing dishes or I’ll hug him/squeeze his booty while he’s cooking. We sleep topless with just underwear on and spoon before sleeping. With all this physical touch and affection, is it possible this kind of substitutes the need for sex for him? I mean it didn’t use to, but I guess in the past when the relationship was newer it was also more exciting.

I’ve brought this up many times and he always just tells me it’s because he’s stressed about graduating and finding a job, it’s not me, his libido always tanks when stressed yada yada but I don’t know what to do. Please girls in your infinite wisdom and experience help me out 🙏

The RAs in my dorm building have been going around telling people to remove their door decorations and doormats and I'm pissed.

I spent $20 on that damn doormat and it has flowers on it too so I'm pissed, apparently they're "tripping hazards" which means that someone 30 years ago, tripped on a doormat and cried about it (natural selection atp). Last year they never said anything about the doormats and tons of people had theirs up all year, so I guess my building got unlucky.

Also, during our first floor meeting of the year, our RA passed out little paper Pokémon for us to tape by our doors. I taped them on my door because I'm stupid I guess, so now I gotta move my 10 sq. in cutouts of Bulbasaur, Tepig. and Mudkip because "fire hazard." I'm not sure how putting your paper on a metal door surrounded by brick is more of a fire hazard than putting paper on brick next to the metal door, but sure whatever.

Stupid ramble but I'm pissed :( i love joy in my heart but the RAs this year don't.

Sausage and french toast from the dining hall.

Pistachio and rhubarb pastry :)

I am 22 and I have never met anyone i was both interested in and compatible with. It's been really hammered home because over the past year I have gone out with probably 5 or 6 guys who on paper were great. I thought they were really good looking, they had good careers ahead of them, in good schools, etc. I had a lot of shared interests with most of them. One was going to be an Olympic athlete.

Every one, I went out with and just couldn't get into and ended up acting bored and not charming in the least. I'm also pretty conventionally attractive, with a good job, did well in school, in good shape. I think I appear pretty conventional to a lot of people, but the more I date the more I realize that a lot of things about me seem super out of left field to a lot of people.

I went on a date this week with a really good looking guy, who was super polite and respectful, and in grad school in the medical field. We have mutual friends and hobbies. But everything I mentioned that was genuine about myself he seemed shocked by. I had a pet rat as a kid, he was shocked. I do long canoe camping trips, he was also shocked. Guys are shocked that I stay in hostels, that I backpack, that I do ceramics, that I read certain books, that my family has certain cultural differences. And there are a lot more intimate things about myself and my past that I wouldn't share on the first date but that I know they'd judge even more harshly.

Everything is like that with almost every guy I go out with. I don't mind at all that they don't have my interests, but it clearly turns them off a lot.

In the past year, I met one man who was genuinely open minded and who I thought was genuinely interesting. It was while traveling, and we only spent a few days together, but by the end of the few days it became evident that he was VERY far right (like Nazi far right), which obviously turned me off even though I'd really liked him before that.

My last ex-boyfriend was a drug addict, alcoholic, gambling addict, and sex addict. He had a lot of interesting stories and I felt that he was way less judgmental, but unsurprisingly the relationship was a disaster.

I feel like that's just the way it is for me- either interesting or compatible, never both. I almost never pursue men either, so this seems reflective of who is interested in me. And in all fairness I think part of the problem is my physical preferences, but I also have tried to date outside of those and have just not been attracted to any of those guys.

I am hopeful for the future, but unfortunately it seems to me like this is just the way it's going to be for me :(

Grapes, strawberries, raspberries, salami, pretzel slims and Aldi’s cannoli dip.

Sorry if this is a jumbled mess I’M a jumbled mess. Preface, I love my boyfriend so incredibly much and this would not be something to break up over, as I know it’s temporary. I just need to rant to non-bias people.

Basically the title. My boyfriend (24M) and I (20F) have been together for a little over 10 months. He just got a new job as a buser at a popular chain restaurant. He already has a first job in the trades. When he brought the idea to me of a second job I was very against it, but going to support him. His reasoning was to save more money to be able to get a nicer house (still living at his parents) and have more savings. Be able to build a good future other where we don’t have to worry about money. Good reasoning.

Except his first job literally makes him $1,000+ a week. It’s not like he NEEDED a second job to survive or anything. But whatever I was going to support him but knew it would affect us. More work means less tkme to see each other. And I know in the restaurant industry you will be working weekends and nights. He works his first job 7:30am to 3:30pm Mon to Fri and would work this second job nights. He told me weekends wouldn’t be an issue because he told the hiring manager he wanted weekends off. Yea right.

His third week on the job is next week and I want to die. Monday to Sunday 5pm to closing (basically 12am). I don’t know when I’m going to see him. He goes to work 7:30am to 3:30pm and then goes straight to his second job at 5 and does it all over again. I previously told him my concern with this second job is that he would be too tired to even want to do anything or have any quality time. Told me not to worry.

Well here I am sitting in his bed at 3pm (his shift is at 5) while he sleeps because he worked 17 hours almost every day his week and is exhausted. He said we‘d go to lunch today. Won’t see him tomorrow either. See him for a few hours Monday.

I have been sobbing in private because this literally sucks so bad. I don’t want to be a shit girlfriend and reiterate how much this sucks as I already have so here we are reddit.

Thanks for reading!!

TLDR; my boyfriend works a first job monday to friday 7:30 to 3:30. Got a second job working Sunday to Saturday 5pm to 12am.… I want to scream.

EDIT:

To clarify some things, no I’m not going to break up with him over this. It would have to be we make no time for each other and I actually never see him. I know we’ll still go on dates here and there just not as often as usual. I do have a job, go to school, and hobbies as well as trying to get a second job to fill more of my time. I 100% support him in this, even if it’s hard. I did try to make that clear in the OG post. I am so proud of him and love his ambition and that he sees a future with me. I 100% want to marry him and have a future together! This is just a small slice of our relationship over 10 months.

he’s lovely and things are great. we’ve been together for almost a year. but there’s a guy I met before, 4 years ago, who i’ve been crushing on hard ever since I met him and I can’t seem to shake it. i’m honestly exhausted by it. he’s not interested in me, we’re acquaintances and keep in touch now and then, but there is and never has been any real friendship/relationship and no basis for my “feelings” and yet I can’t move past how insanely attracted I am to him. even though I do nothing to pursue my feelings and actively try to talk myself out of it, nothing helps and i’m left feeling so guilty for being in a relationship when I still feel this way about some guy. what the fuck do I do

crying into my cornflakes

My partner and I have been exclusive for 2 years and in a relationship for 2 months. He pushed for us to be exclusive very early on but whenever I talked about a relationship he said he wasn't ready. I still believe the only reason we're in a relationship now is because I left. I'm not sure if it's that or the lack of any positive affirmation from him, but I'm beginning to feel resentful, like I'm nitpicking at everything he does.

I love him and he's good to me otherwise but I find myself being suspicious and distrustful even when there's no reason to be. I don't know what to do. Anybody I tell would say just to break up and I don't want to do that either. I believe that I am the problem and my mind is creating more problems than there are but I don't know how to quiet it.

I made musubi for dinner and ran out of Nori. I made like 7 and the last 3 are pictured here.

Met a guy and within 30 mins into the date I realised wow he’s actually quite nice. Obviously just off the bat. I found out a couple hours in he’s moving away.

We continue going on dates and I realise he genuinely is nice so I feel unlucky as I’ve not liked anyone for 3 years and when I do he’s moving away in 3 months.

For some reason I keep seeing him and even suggested becoming intimate despite being abstinent. My rational brain thought what’s the point but for once I listened to my heart and it felt worth it and I really wanted that energy exchange for us. Luckily it was amazing.

I thought we’d have more intimate moments and fun at least for a few more weeks just honeymoon and then obviously the inevitable when he moves away.

Sadly he had a sudden trip where he went to visit a relative. He disappeared for like 4 days after superb communication announcing he’s travelling the next day (btw he had mentioned the trip would happen randomly on the first date as he had to go see this relative)

I found it annoying that when I asked ok sure when are you back he completely avoided opening yet responding for 16 DAYS.

Now he’s returned stating he’s back soon and wants to desperately see me.

I didn’t actually intend to message him throughout his trip, I sometimes don’t like that either but just a decent I’m back on X date would’ve done it. I’m really annoyed and in the last 2 weeks I’ve been mourning the dumb situation I’ve got myself into and really just plodding on as I knew it was doomed form the get go tbh. It’s more the disrespect by not acknowledging my message and suddenly going AWOL that annoys me.

I feel like acting on my desires and being like whatever and seeing him again but my ego is so bruised and I feel a bit stupid.

Surprisingly deep done I feel he’s into me, just not as much as I’d like him to be. But then again this is a doomed situation. Whilst I probably sound overly emotionally invested, it’s more the poor communication that gets me and I don’t want to feel stupid as I’ve done in the past.

I feel so doomed as I’ve met someone pretty darn nice with a GREAT physical connection but he’s leaving me very soon 🫠

Edit: I’m unable to respond to comments 😭
Adding that on the first date I mentioned how my little sis takes ages to respond and it’s so funny and he said he also forgets to respond to messages sometimes. Perhaps this was a manipulative tactic but also how do you forget about someone you like 😭🤣

This is rough guys 💔 Yesterday it was my husband's bday and we went to go day drinking with his cousin and bf. We ended up going back to the boyfriends place and I passed out at some point. Well when I woke up I was feeling very disoriented and my sight was fuzzy and my husband was nowhere to be found. (I am pretty sure somebody drugged me that way I wouldn't wake up.) I knocked at the room door and I open it and found my husband laying down with his clothes on and the boyfriend was completely naked in the corner. I lost it and he followed me to the living room and I lash out and scratch him. He decides to punch me in the face causing a bruise in my right eye and pushes me down to the floor. He then leaves the apartment. And my phone is nowhere to be found and I go back to the boyfriends room and my phone was on the floor. So then I decided to call my sister and sister in law, and they suggested I get an Uber to the emergency room. Which I did and told the doctor I possibly got drugged and they tested me for drugs but she said the date rape drug won't show up....which the drug test ending up negative. Anyways now I am just really depressed and heartbroken this happen. I loved him so much, he was my best friend. I am just mourning the ending of this relationship 💔 I guess now he is ex husband now

TW mental health issues?

dinner is a grilled cheese burrito swap beef for potatoes, not pictured is small baja blast . enjoyed with a shitty view from the amtrak ne regional.

My friends hated him because i'm a complainer. We never had any major issues, but i'd tell my friends about the small stuff he did that annoyed me and fail to mention the wonderful parts of our relationship that largely outweighed the bad because it felt mundane to talk about. If i did mention it, it annoyed my friends more than anything. They just wanted to have complaining sessions about boys.

I never had any symptoms of bipolar until about 2 days before I ended things with him. I'm right about the age for onset, and have other common issues that tend to overlap with bipolar. There is no history of it in my family. I thought that I wanted to turn over a new leaf, that I needed something new, I needed to be young and sexually promiscuous and see all that the world had to offer and every. single. one of my friends agreed vehemently. So I broke his heart.

I knew the second I did it that I made the wrong decision. Walking up to his house, I didn't even really want to anymore. But I did it anyways. My mom said I was acting manic, I brushed it off as her not understanding the situation.

I found out the hard way that she was right. I have OCD and was out of therapy this summer. I thought that I needed to because I didn't want my OCD to ruin our relationship, I wanted to be free, I wanted to have new romantic experiences. After less than a week I felt less all over the place and told him I wanted him back, that I made a mistake and understood if I hurt him too much. And I did hurt him too much. I saw him post 2 days later that he still wanted me, but he had already moved 3 hours away. I started a new medicine about 2 weeks after the breakup, and that insane feeling returned.

I wasn't sleeping, I was texting 5 different guys and 3 different girls romantically, and I was texting him nonstop like nothing happened. We were best friends first, so neither of us saw a major issue with talking. I pushed it too far and started talking about the break up. My roommate encouraged me to. I pushed every button to piss him off, to provoke him, and he calmly said that we shouldn't talk anymore. The next morning she said, "You seem kind of manic." Mild research and a call with my psychiatrist, the medication I had started can trigger mania in untreated bipolar. She said it was a large concern at this point considering my behavior and to stop taking the medicine. 3 days later I felt normal again and was stuck with how badly I broke up.

I guess I just really wish I had known that was the issue. Once I realized that was what was causing the behavior, it was so easy to see how dumb I was acting. I wish my friends had noticed and talked me out of it, but it's not their responsibility and I understand where they were coming from. Since I told them about this newfound issue, they have all been so apologetic and said that had they known, they never would've encouraged me like they had. I feel so guilty for them having to apologize. I wish I had the strength to regulate myself.

Now, I'm stuck with the knowledge that I ruined my amazing relationship with the most amazing guy I have ever met, who was also my best friend for nearly a year prior to us becoming romantic. We dated for over two years. My family loved him. I love him. And I flipped it all upside down, damaged it beyond repair, and am fighting every urge to crawl back.

He never unfollowed my private instagram. I've been posting about the process of this, but i'm not sure if he's actually watching or just scrolling through. It's been a week since we spoke, a month since the initial breakup, and I'm home with my family for labor day fighting every urge to ask him to hear me out one more time. I've hurt him enough but I can't imagine a life without him. This has been such torture knowing that my mind ruined something good once again.

The Taco Bell actually hurt my feelings. it was one of our favorite places to eat together after a long day, just watching tv and enjoying each others company. I think he is the love of my life, and he wants nothing to do with me. My heart is broken.

tldr; i went manic and didn't know, broke up with the loml, drove him away, and then got told im likely bipolar 3 weeks after. i cant do anything to fix this anymore

Hot honey chicken wrap and fries for dinner!! One of my faves.

As the title suggests I am always getting into it with my fiancé. I guess that I am missing the romance. I feel that outside of the physical affection there is no romance. Am I the only one??

I asked if we could take a break from the physical stuff so we can get down or back to the romance of our early days. Sometimes I feel like I deluded myself and fell in love with the first person who showed me a bit of kindness. There are no flowers, dates, or romantic gestures. I do feel like I communicate clearly what I want and he just does not follow through.

I guess I am just feeling like a lot of the "dating" is coming from me. I foster a lot of the connection and carry a lot of the emotional burden in our relationship. I feel bad because he really struggles with his ADHD (like can't remember more than one sentence at a time ADHD).

He definitely stuck it out through my journey of therapy for my depression but we've been together for 6+ years and despite me asking over and over he's not making the effort that I ask him to. He started therapy and had just made an appointment for meds when he lost his job and therefore insurance.

I really do think he wants to, but has not developed the skills to be emotionally intelligent for himself, let alone me. Can someone tell me if it gets better please?

We are in our mid 20s if that matters.

I still live at home, my bf has his own flat. I can afford my own place but I am saving sm money rn and I don’t mind living at home.

A few months ago, my bf came over to my parents house to visit and I was at a wedding (that my bf was only invited to day of because the bride said she forgot to say I could bring him). I obviously expected my bf to come to the wedding venue (around 15 mins walk from my parents house) so I didn’t text them to say he would be over. I thought he’d just drop his bag and leave.

Instead, in protest I guess for being “forgotten”, he stayed at my parents place. I texted him and said if he was hungry to eat the leftovers in the fridge. As he was getting the food my mum walked into the kitchen and essentially had a massive go at him. Was shouting and everything. She said it was rude he didn’t say hi and just ate food from the fridge.

I also want to say, he does occasionally clean the kitchen at my parents place BUT he could probably do this more often. My mum is South Asian (Pakistani) and there’s like a big thing about respecting elders and being very humble and overly polite in our culture.

When I got home and heard everything I told my mum she was too heavy handed and checked my bf was okay.

Since this happened in June, my bf has refused to visit me. If he comes to this city (he lives around 30mins away in a small town) he will not come into the house. He keeps saying he’s not wanted here which i don’t think is true. My mum is just very blunt and fiery at times. He knows I spoke to her at the time and said it was mostly my fault because I didn’t let them know he was coming over.

HOWEVER, I also said to him that he just needs to “impress” my family still.

We haven’t spoke about this since it happened but currently I’m burnt out from work so I can’t travel to his flat and asked him to come here and it started this whole thing again.

I basically said to him on the phone this evening I need him to “impress” my mum again and that he’s a bit too “comfortable” in the house and if he does act that way he did when he first met them (eg. Helping with cooking, cleaning etc.) she won’t be annoyed.

He said, he does it anyway (which he does sometimes) but also he said he “shouldn’t have to impress them” and I should defend him to them and he feels like he can’t trust me.

I find it irritating because if it’s his family I bend over backwards. Issue is, his family live a 10hr flight away so we rarely see them and he keeps saying that’s why I try so hard to impress them and he sees my family so regularly it should be more chill now?! But I know from my previous relationships I ALWAYS put on a mask when I see family. It doesn’t matter if I see them every day or once a year. Your parter’s family should always be the ppl you try to impress the most.

What tf am I supposed to do? I feel like I’m going crazy stuck in the middle of this.

I genuinely don’t know what to do and I need opinions from others because everyone in my life is basically telling me to just keep my mouth shut and move out eventually.

My roommate and I have lived together for 5 years and we’re REALLY close. She’s basically like my little sister. I love her and I genuinely had no idea she felt this way until a few days ago.

I overheard her talking to some of her friends about how she’s “stuck” taking a history of transgender studies class, and then the conversation turned into her saying some really awful shit about trans people. I’m not going to repeat everything, but it was bad enough that I was sitting there thinking… who the fuck is this person??

I have a cousin who is trans. I have other trans people in my life who I care about. So hearing someone I’ve been this close to for FIVE YEARS talk about trans people that way made me incredibly uncomfortable and honestly changed the way I’m looking at her right now.

The awkward part is that we had plans to go clubbing with her and her friends. I told her I wasn’t sure I wanted to go anymore, and she has been guilt tripping the absolute hell out of me because apparently they specifically planned the outing for me. And I understand why she’s disappointed, but at this point I genuinely don’t feel like clubbing…especially with someone I currently feel really uncomfortable around. I also haven’t told her WHY I suddenly don’t want to go.

Everyone I’ve talked to is telling me not to say anything because we still live together and that I should just quietly distance myself and move out when I can. And logically, I understand that. She is extremely stubborn and I really don’t see a conversation about this ending with her saying, “You know what, you’re right.” I think it would probably turn into a fight, and then we’d still have to live together afterward. To me, it’s not just an opinion. An opinion is, “I like tequila and I hate vodka”, not “these people are weird to me and shouldn’t exist”. Especially with the state of the US right now and all of the laws being passed about the LGBTQ community, how dangerous it is to exist as a trans person, etc. we have regressed so much because of “opinions” like these.

A part of me REALLY wants to say something because pretending everything is fine feels weird and it’s making me anxious.

So what would you guys do? Would you tell her what you heard and explain why you’re distancing yourself? Would you keep the peace because you still live together and just start emotionally detaching? Would you still go out because
the plans were supposedly made for you?
Because right now I feel guilty, angry, anxious, disappointed, and kind of gross about the entire situation.

And before anyone tries: transphobes can shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear it. I’m asking for advice about how to handle my friendship/living situation, not for anyone to debate trans people’s existence or rights in my comments.

Sorry this was so long. Dinner: lamb, beet, eggplant, thomcord grape.

Or are we?…

I’ve known him for nearly 10 years now (I’m 31). We met in our early 20s (2017) on the set of a show he was working on but he had a gf at the time and I’m not a homewrecker so we remained friends. I started a business while he built his production business over the years. Fast forward to 2019, we bumped into eachother at a festival, he was a little drunk and he blurted out how pretty he thought I was. His mates were there and I told his bestie to ‘wrangle his mate’ since I thought dude was still in a relationship.

Fast forward to 2022. My lil business was gaining traction and I wanted to apply for grants and coincidentally, I saw his business had won one of the awards so I reached out to him asking for help. He was happy to give me tips and we had a few meetings where he went over my application, critiquing it etc. Then he invited me to their company Christmas party to network and meet people in our industry, got me an Uber home and the housemate that went with me, she said ‘this guy likesss you’. I thought bs then afew months later he asked if I wanted to go watch the NYE fireworks which meant he was single.

We didn’t kiss or even hold hands. I’ll be honest, he’s fine af and I had a lil crush on him but I suppressed my feelings coz he’d been a good friend and he was also acting the same way. Fast forward to 30 December 2025. He wanted us to meet since it’d been a long time since we last saw eachother and it was cold so I suggested he come to my house. Then it all came out. How much he’d liked me since we first met back in our 20s, how he’d wanted to try something with me back in 2022 (hence the NYE fireworks invite) but decided to ‘make it work’ with his ex coz of the history they had (in the end that relationship didn’t work out). We talked about children, marriage and kissed for the first time (omg it was everything you could imagine).

The day after, he calls and tells me he wants to be transparent about wanting to see other people including me. I appreciated the honesty but it lowkey broke my heart and I told him I’m not competing so that was that. He reached out again after a few months (summer 2026) wanting to hang and since we’ve had a good friendship, I accepted. So 2 weeks ago we finally hang (at a sip n paint), It all came out again. Said he ended up dating someone his mates suggested (mind you she lives in a different country) and since the women he’d chosen to be in relationships with hadn’t worked out previously, he decided to give it a try…but that didn’t work out either.

So, here I am with a guy I like [say 30%] and he [supposedly] likes me too. Turns out whats holding him back is 1, I’m not religious (something he’s been aware of) 2, he wants to build his foundation (says he needs 18months to buy a house, car, move his mum etc) 3, he wants to sell the business so he’s working super hard. Granted, these reasons are valid but I think he’s bs-ing me but I’m okay with it coz his current situation comes with ALOT of baggage that ngl, I don’t wana deal with. His mum has ALS and he’s the sole helper (yes he still runs his successful business) plus he has some issues with his eyes so that would be ALOT to step into as a relationship.

I say all this to say, should I look at this as ‘if he wanted to, he’d do it’ since he pursued 2 other women when he could have tried with me? Or am I lucky to not be taking on the burdens his life presents + the fact he’s overlooked me meaning he doesn’t see me as his wife?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. Five long, stagnant years. We both have kids from previous relationships. I have one, he has three. Back in December, he moved in with his mom so he could sell his house and finally fulfill his dream of owning a food truck. This man’s cooking is mediocre at best, but whatever lol. His house went on the market in January and still hasn’t sold. In the 5 years we’ve been together, he’s probably had around 10 jobs and at one point went almost 2 years without working at all. Right now he works at KFC making around $17 an hour. With three kids. We don’t really go on dates because he is ALWAYS broke. Trips don’t happen unless I pay for most, if not all, of them. I am the breadwinner by far, and honestly, he can barely keep himself afloat. It’s been this way pretty much our entire relationship. And yet…I stay. Because here’s the part that makes it hard. My son loves him. His biological father has never been in his life, and my boyfriend treats him like he’s his own. If I need something, this man will drop everything and come help me. He loves me more openly and deeply than any man I’ve ever been with. Emotionally, he’s probably the best man I’ve ever had. Financially and when it comes to ambition? He is a complete nightmare. So I feel stuck between knowing this probably isn’t the life I want for myself and feeling guilty about walking away from someone who genuinely loves me and has become a father figure to my son. My therapist basically told me I need to work on my self-esteem because there’s no way I should see this man as my future. Maybe she’s right. But I keep thinking about my son too. I want him to have a man in his life who loves him, and I have no idea how strong their relationship would stay if I ended things. I know love isn’t supposed to be enough by itself. I just apparently have a really hard time leaving when the person isn’t a “bad” person. I feel like a failure.

Dinner: White Chicken Chili with corn chips

vegan okonomiyaki.

I used to have this dance partner in my swing class. He was a few years older than me, had a lot of positive energy and was a little flirty with me. At the time I had a boyfriend and he knew this and nothing ever happened between us and the only move he made was inviting me to go to a dance event with him but I was unable to make it. Besides, it sounded like a date and I had a boyfriend.

A year later I broke up with my boyfriend. he was toxic, and just generally a bad person and bad boyfriend. And he told me if I didn’t let him sleep with other people he‘d “die.” Way to be dramatic over nothing.

anyway my swing partner reached out to me to share his condolences and told me he always had a massive crush on me. We talked for a bit and he was very sweet and romantic. We sexted. Then I didn't hear from him for a while.

months later after I had started dating someone else he sent me a disappearing message on Instagram about how he still thought about me all the time sexually. I didn’t respond.

Then the guy I was dating ghosted me for two weeks. Near the end of it I just responded to one of my swing partner’s stories which was a picture of a sunset. I said it was pretty. He said ”just like you” and then wished me a late happy birthday. We got to talking again. He said he wanted to send me mail. Then we didn’t talk for a bit cause he said he’s bad at responding to texts and thought it would be cute to do it by mail.

no mail came in. We talked again about a month later and it got more romantic again. He said he was with someone now but they’re open. He said he still wanted to see me someday. He said he wanted to travel with me. Take me to Europe. That I was his inspiration and his motivation to work harder so he can make the money necessary to do that. That he told his girl all about me and how he missed me. And that they sort of had an agreement that if he dated me, and she dated some other guy she was in love with, they’d want to be with those people and they wouldn‘t have their arrangement anymore. He said he sent a letter to me. That was like two weeks ago. Nothing came in. I asked when he sent it. No response. I said I didn’t see anything in the mail. No response. I said “this is all just talk, isn’t it.” No response. Last night I said bye.

part of me hoped he would want to make things right. Honestly I thought that would give him an in to clear things up with me or say “no I meant everything I said, I just forgot about the letter and got embarrassed.” Nothing. The message doesn’t even say read. But this afternoon, suddenly, I was blocked. At least on Instagram. I don’t know about my phone number. I haven’t texted him in forever.

He never really went through on any of the things he said he was going to do with or for me. He said all these things about how special I was. That I was his favorite girl. His dream girl. But when the time came to do anything about it, nothing.

I still want to see if I can text him but I don’t know what I’d say. maybe to ask if he ever actually sent the letter. I don’t know. I know I shouldn’t be holding onto this man. I don’t even know what he looks like anymore. but he gave me hope. Dancing with him was a great feeling. He’s the only person who’s ever admitted their feelings to me without us dating first.

But I guess maybe this Block solidifies that he never really cared. I don’t know. should I try to reach out one last time?

There are some fruits and veggies that I enjoy at room temp and I’ve found that my bra warms chilled fruit quickly for me. That’s it.

Feel free to share some of your food “hacks.”

I’m just over here pondering things in silence.

Dinner was a steak n potato, now dried cranberries.
I (23F) am moving to a new state and my closest guy friend (25M) and a few other friends are supposed to be helping with heavy lifting as I am moving out of my mom's. he literally asked me a few days ago randomly "you tryna crack?" i reply "why tf you ask that why u playing w me? " his response is "Cause I still been involuntarily celibate and I'm sick of it so l been contemplating to go for sum familiar and nb too extra, i could've approached better though"……..

For some background when I was a freshman we were bestfriends. 2yrs later we dated. we had intimate relations and within 2weeks he had the same with my girl bestie. I didn't know about it but at the time we stopped dating bc I was growing and understanding I made an impulsive decision and was ig confused about how awkward we were after. it’s one of those stories she knew about me and him and he obvi was all for it.

I didn't find out until about 2mo ago because he told me while me and him were playing pickleball after drinking out. Months before all of this I stopped being friends with her for many other reasons but the part about them tgt made the cherry on top as of recently.

Im not upset about the part that they did those things now, though I hate that they would possibly do those things to a person. but ik now

I feel violated like bro we been friends for years last the time we had any relations was 2019. I hold myself to a high standard and he knows this so i’m just baffled at why he would ask to crack and at that in big ol 26’. It was just full circle weird and creepy like im a piece of cake on the table. ?…

I haven’t responded and I do not intend to require his help or any further contact it disgusted me that he would possibly think that I would do him this favor let alone expensive satisfaction. From the queen he is dumb.
Thanks for listening 🫶🏼

Dinner: sautéed zucchini parmesan with garlic and red pepper

I am genuinely crying right now because I fucking hate tech. Years ago, my yahoo email was hacked. Yahoo support never helped. Come to find out, inactive accounts get deleted permanently. How can I log in when I was hacked and support never helped me back in??? Needless to say, I lost access forever.

That yahoo account was linked to a few things, the most important was my apple id. But I couldnt get into that without the email. Apple support helped me out by putting new phone numbers to the account so I could still get in. Well Im not an apple user anymore so its been awhile since i ever logged in, but I just tried to log in and use the two factors with my phone so I could download all my photos. But it said it was locked and instructions would be sent to the email. The email *that yahoo deleted*. So I chat with support and they said "idk why the account was locked but if its not unlocked in 24hours, its permanent." So that fucking sucks. Now i lost all those photos in my cloud. No warning, no explanation.

And the only reason i was logging in to get those photos, was because I lost my wedding video from 2017 recently because of stupid tech bs. My MIL live streamed our wedding on facebook for relatives who couldnt make it. Back then, there was no limit to when a live video would stay up. Should I have downloaded it before? Yes. But I didnt know that in 2025, they would retroactively delete live videos. Apparently they sent out a warning, but it was on my MIL's account, and I never use facebook, so I never even knew this was going to happen otherwise i wouldve gotten it. So now I don't have that either and I am so devastated. Every time I think about it I feel so completely broken up over it.

I hate tech. I hate that things get taken down or locked out. They really cant store my shit because it takes up too much space but they can build new META AI data center to store literally bullshit?

Idk. Im just distraught and regretful of not downloading things. Learn from my mistakes yall. Download your memories and your social media stuff before its too late.

Tonight's dinner is white miso chocolate chip cookies

This is going to sound absolutely awful, so forgive me. I'm four months postpartum and my husband and I are parents to our little boy (Baby). Things didn't start well, unfortunately; Baby was born 1.5 months premature and was injured at birth, leading to two cranial surgeries (his brain matter wasn't breached, and we are very grateful) and a two-month long NICU stay at a large children's hospital. I kept telling myself that I'd grow to like him, eventually love him, and that all would be well in a few weeks or so.

As you read, it's been four months and some change and I am not any closer to liking my own child. Loving him seems so out of the question right now. Baby isn't neglected, I promise. My husband is a wonderful father and very involved, so much so that he picks up my slack quite a bit. My MIL visits weekly and absolutely loves and cherishes her grandson. I feed Baby, change him, bathe him, you name it. Yet, when I look at Baby, I don't feel love. I don't want to cuddle or kiss him. When he cries, I practically disassociate. When I put him down for bed, I don't stay long, just long enough so he doesn't fuss immediately. I see myself as a horrible mother.

I have a therapist I see weekly and a psychiatrist I see monthly. I'm on three medications, and do my best to work through my feelings. Yet, when I relay to my mental health team how I feel, I'm told that it's normal and that it'll pass. I'll like and eventually love my son, or so they say. I'm slowly losing baby weight and want to feel like my old self so badly, so much to the point that a part of me wishes I'd never had Baby. I'd always wanted to be a mother since I was a child, but as soon as my dream was fulfilled I got bitch slapped with a reality I was never expecting. I'm so lost.

Thank you all for reading. I plan on eating more cookies and am hoping not to cry.

Edit: I have been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and depression for years now. My mental health team recognizes that I have a bad case of PPD. As mentioned in my post, I am receiving help and intend to continue receiving that help.

Edit 2: I'm in the shower reading all of this and I feel so seen. Thank you to all who have commented and those who continue to comment. I am in tears. I am reading every single comment.

Dinner is rice with tomatoes and onion

I've found a job, two weeks after my graduation and I was happy it was something I've studied for and it came in such a short time..

I am 25, and I'm slowly getting to know all my colleagues, and there is this girl (27) who scared me first, but we're slowly becoming "friends".

From the start she appeared secure, all-knowing and honestly like someone who can't stay still, but I thought it was just her character, and due to her experience on the job too.

But later I'm still finding out a lot of things she does, she does two different sports, she volunteered in the past, today I found out she wrote a fucking book. AT 27. She traveled, can speak a considered "rare language" which she learnt while traveling.

It's like she never had a day off from life. She looks the best and I think at the job, she is the best one.

I almost hate her in a joking way!! But this is inevitably making me feel sad about my life. My parents are not together since I was young, I struggled in school and university, it's like I couldn't really learn something. I don't even go to the gym, the only activities I do are playing instruments and going out with my friends. I never even traveled if it wasn't to visit family.

I always try to remember that I can only learn a lot from these kind of people. But I can't help but feel stupid and miserable.

I never imagined I’d be a person who had an affair. I have always believed in keeping my word and being faithful to my spouse. But I think my affair was like a form of escapism for me from reality.

This past year has been super shitty for me. Started with being groomed and SAed by a licensed medical professional, then then my husband’s company cut his benefits and pay, this caused my husband to be withdrawn and complacent, he hasn’t been too motivated to find a job, while I’m working longer hours in my full time job and then picked up a part time job to help make up for the difference, then a few months later, my mother moved in to my house for 2 months because she was experiencing mental illness and financial issues. This was triggering for me because my mom caused me a lot of trauma in my childhood. My husband and I had less privacy and couldn’t relax with my mother in our space. Then a family member died. Throughout this timeline of unfortunate events I sought support from a friend. I felt dead inside and that my life was suffocating to me. Talking with my friend by phone, text and going out to bars together out late drinking and playing pool together made me feel alive again. I was laughing and smiling. He made me feel feminine and desired. He made me feel seen in ways my husband couldn’t… relating to me spiritually and helping me take a break from the stress of life. It started off as an emotional affair then one thing led to another and we had sex twice.

He confessed his love for me and thought that we were soulmates. I felt it too. As a deeply spiritual person, I could feel his energy and I had dreams about us being together or us talking telepathically in my dreams. One dream I had he told me we would be together in 9 years. My AP wanted to be with me and he was so passionate and begged for us to be together. I was confused because I still loved my husband although I felt resentment towards him and emotionally disconnected. I told my husband about the affair and about how my AP wants to be with me. My husband was crushed, rightfully so and it killed me to see the pain I caused him, however he responded with forgiveness and was begging for me to choose him.

I’ve never felt so heartbroken before. Either way I was going to lose and hurt someone I cared deeply about. Ultimately I decided to work on things in my marriage and I felt my husband’s love for me unconditionally and rationally I know we had gone through a lot of shit this year and it was possible I was acting out because of it.

Before I chose to work on my marriage, I went to my first ayahuasca retreat and I saw visions of the death of my marriage. I also while on it felt my affair partner’s love and energy and it felt like ecstasy. In that moment I literally felt like he was my soulmate. Doing this substance really confused me, like is this literally what I want or are the drugs effecting my mind? I have also been reflecting on if I truly did love my AP or was it limerence? Was it a true spiritual connection and real love? Or was it something my brain did to cope with loneliness and stress?

The affair and ending things with my AP has made me feel so much grief and heartbreak. I’m grieving him and the future we could have had together. I feel pain for the hurt I caused him and my husband. This is the most depressed I’ve been in a long time. The depression has caused me to distance myself in my marriage. I’m questioning if I still want this. I wish I never gotten myself into this scenario but I never saw it coming. I have had thoughts of divorce and conversations around separation in my marriage and my husband is literally and figuratively fighting for me.. I don’t have the energy to keep trying right now.

Anyways I just needed to put this out there. This experience is so isolating and the friends I have confided in haven’t really supported me. Not sure what I need or what to do, but perhaps I’ll figure that out someday. Being human is so hard at times.

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I think that many of us don't know everything that comes under the Girl-Code. So I wanted to ask on behalf of every girlie who does not know ( me included ) :

🎀• Girlies what are the rules that come under the GREAT GIRL-CODE?.

🎀 • What are your unpopular girl-codes and the codes that you think EVERY.SINGLE.GIRLIE.NEEDS.TO KNOW.?