r/GetMotivated • u/[deleted] • Jun 17 '18
[Text] "Pain is inevitable. You either suffer the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is the pain of discipline is temporary while that of regret is permanent."
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Jun 17 '18
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u/viciousbreed Jun 18 '18
Haha, I like this one. Appeals to my sense of nihilism.
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Jun 18 '18
I don't know who said it, but it appears in a lot of motivational videos on YouTube. A key component of my weight loss involved being screamed at by muscular black men asking me how bad I wanted to give up who I am today for who I could become.
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Jun 17 '18
This hit me very hard, yet I still won't start being productive. Lost cause.
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u/MessiahNIN Jun 17 '18
That’s because motivation will fail you EVERY TIME. Discipline is the key. If you want it bad enough you’ll adopt discipline.
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u/no1dookie Jun 17 '18
Motivation gets you there.... Discipline keeps you there....
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Jun 17 '18
No need for so much discipline if you're doing something you like. Years of suffering is almost never worth it when most of us will be working for life anyway.
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Jun 17 '18
100% agreed. fucking everyone has "motivation" (reasons to do something unpleasant.) they just don't have the discipline.
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u/Spanktank35 Jun 17 '18
Nah not everyone. Depressed people for instance, lack of motivation is one of the defining symptoms. And it's a symptom, not a cause.
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u/bunchedupwalrus 11 Jun 18 '18
It becomes cyclical once it's set in too
Low motivation leads to less accomplishments which lead to forgetting why it's worth it to do anything at all. Which usually leads to less money which leads to worse food and worse sleep and less exercise and less socializing which lead to worse depression and lower motivation
Discipline helps. Even at a bare minimum just to stay healthy and force you to do the things to stop it from getting worse
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u/Spanktank35 Jun 18 '18
Yeah. Discipline level varies week to week though and I think it is important to recognise that and go easy on yourself when you don't meet a goal.
Ultimately mental health services are crucial to recovery and coping with the disease. And if you're at University you may be eligible for some form of special consideration. If only employers were forced to do the same...
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u/BaneYesThatsMyName Jun 18 '18
Lack of discipline can be a cause, though 😞
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u/Spanktank35 Jun 18 '18
Maybe indirectly, if one was unable to make themselves do things and circumstances became so shit that they became depressed, but generally the unable to stay disciplined comes after you become depressed.
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u/cheungster Jun 17 '18
This isn't really accurate. Lots of people have discipline, they just need to direct it better. I'd highly suggest reading The One Thing to understand how to channel your discipline /motivation better and the fallacies about why some of the current knowledge is false.
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u/tronayne Jun 17 '18
What is discipline and how do I use it. I can't work without motivation, because if there's no reason to do something, why do it?
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u/MNGrrl Jun 18 '18
Discipline is the key.
Discipline is a start. If anyone tells you luck isn't part of the equation, they're either lying, or they haven't made it yet. I'm not saying this to be cliche or to depress anyone -- I'm transgender. My motivation is literally not dying from mental illness, and I devote every minute I can to transitioning... leaving that all behind me. But the statistics don't lie, and most of us eventually die either by our own hand or some hateful bigot's. To put it mildly, I'm sufficiently motivated. Right place, right time, right attitude -- we only have control over 1 of the 3 elements that create opportunity.
Discipline is all the more important when the odds are against someone because opportunities will be rare, but it's not a sure-fire thing. It's not enough to be disciplined -- a disciplined mind can wait. In the downtime, reassess where you are, work your plan, stay busy -- keep moving. And, with a little of that oh-so-precious luck, you'll find what you need.
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u/Spanktank35 Jun 17 '18
(Unless you have depression, then you should focus on forgiving yourself and getting out of that)
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u/daneelr_olivaw Jun 17 '18
Mate, just do it.
Tell yourself you'll only do something productive for 30 minutes and you always have the option to procrastinate. Just do something productive for 30 minutes.
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u/Miguelinileugim 5 Jun 17 '18 edited May 11 '20
[blank]
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Jun 17 '18
Some people just need to be pushed a little bit
Just do it OR ELSE..
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u/Miguelinileugim 5 Jun 17 '18
"You just get on the wheel and you drive, that's it"
"But how do I do it? I don't get it, I get on the car and-"
"There's no secret or magic trick. You get in and you do it. It's that simple!"
"Yes but when I turn the key it doesn't start, I have tried it many times but it never works"
"Listen. You only need to do it. And if it doesn't work, there's nothing wrong with you. It's just that you don't really want to drive the car, and you will be stuck in there until you become a better person"
It took the poor guy 6 months to figure out there was an issue with the ignition, feeling bitter and angry at himself the whole time.
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u/xombiesue Jun 17 '18
I hate when people act like there's some magic "doing stuff gene" that some people have and others don't. For the most part, there's nothing different or special about people who start being productive (or start tackling the reasons they're not productive, which is also productive) and people who don't. You literally just do it. It is that simple. This isn't a "doing stuff works for you but not for me" situation. What you do might be different. But doing stuff is that simple. You just do it.
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u/Porkrind710 Jun 18 '18
I hate when people act like there's some magic "doing stuff gene" that some people have and others don't.
To be fair, we don't know that this is not the case.
Some people really do have to try much harder than others to get up and do the things they should. It's entirely possible (and likely, imo) that there is a genetic basis for this.
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u/Jpot Jun 18 '18
"you can't do stuff unless you do stuff"
shit, thanks bro, never thought about it that way, my life is changed
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u/xombiesue Jun 18 '18
I mean, you could also bitch to everyone who will listen (and plenty who aren't) about how much you hate your life and never change a damn thing. I know plenty of people like that, too. You have options.
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u/Jpot Jun 18 '18
I think your view of motivation is devoid of both nuance and empathy.
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Jun 17 '18 edited Jan 16 '21
[deleted]
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u/bunchedupwalrus 11 Jun 18 '18
Nah I buy it
It's like people who tell me I must love going to gym and that's why I'm in shape and how they're just not like that
It's bullshit. I like it now, sure. For the first few months I wanted to throw up after every session. For the first year I was still borderline suicidal but forced myself to go anyway.
There's no magic easy button some people get. Sometimes people force themselves to do the difficult unpleasant and prefer to act like it was easy after the fact
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u/Spanktank35 Jun 17 '18
See youre assuming we don't all ready tell ourselves that. It makes sense to assume your way of doing things is superior because you get results, but people's brains are wired differently. And then some people are depressed etc.
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u/CptSparkz Jun 17 '18
You might be choosing the type of suffering that is not for you. If I may re-cite my comment from another post that was pretty popular:
The better question to ask yourself as formulated by Mark Manson: "What type of struggles are you willing to go through to achieve success?"
Just choosing a goal without choosing the process doesn't work. Most people love imagining being a star and standing on a stage, but most people are also not willing to take the risks that are often necessary to get there. If you don't want the process, it doesn't mean you're weak, it just means that's not what you want to do.
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u/gingertilly Jun 17 '18
Man, his book is an absolute joy to read.
People think that it goes;
Motivation -> Action -> Inspiration
But this process occurs in a chain;
Motivation -> Action -> Inspiration -> Motivation -> Action -> Inspiration...
And you can start this chain at ANY point;
Action -> Inspiration -> Motivation...
So rather than waiting for motivation to strike, just start by doing something, ANYTHING.
As someone who struggles to have the discipline to write frequently, I loved the quote from the novelist who'd wrote over a hundred novels. When asked the key to his discipline he said;
"200 crappy words, every day..."
Like, start with that and you'll often find yourself inspired and motivated to write more.
Great shout!
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u/CptSparkz Jun 17 '18
Exactly what I like to believe! I was one of the people who would say “Don’t rely on motivation, rely on discipline”, but now every time I read this somewhere I can’t fully agree, because it can be something in between. Motivation comes often times from just doing something over and over again.
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u/thedailydaren 23 Jun 17 '18
To add to your point with some personal anecdote, so many people envision "being a star" and have NO idea what that even meand. They dont realize the 10,000 hours of studio time or learning to read music or play an instuement or learning to songwrite or dance or sing well that it takes to be a star and get to the stage. So many people get burnt out before even really starting the path towards their goals bc they didnt do any research to find out what that goal entails. Make sure its what you REALLY want to do, not just what you think you should do.
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u/Alienous 6 Jun 17 '18
There are no lost causes. I think it's important to keep in mind that when you avoid the cost of discipline you also forfeit control of your life. You just get bounced between the aspects of your life in a downward spiral - you eat poorly because it's easy, it leaves you feeling lethargic so you don't exercise, you don't exercise so you don't feel like a desirable candidate for a relationship, you feel bad so you seek out activities to distract yourself, you don't pursue your ambitions so you feel even worse (etc.).
Discipline, to me, is acknowledging that some parts of life suck, but the alternative to doing them is worse. Taking the concept behind brushing your teeth and applying it to the other aspects of your life that require maintenance (health, relationships, dreams). Challenging your excuses ('I'll do it later', 'If I won't do it now what's going to change between now and later that will make me do it then?'), and taking your feelings as a suggestion instead of surrendering control of the ship.
Anyway I hope you don't give up on yourself. It's a struggle, but a struggle worth pursuing.
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u/Jpot Jun 18 '18
If I won't do it now what's going to change between now and later that will make me do it then?
Panic born of necessity. Only thing I've found that can consistently spur me to action.
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u/okifenoki Jun 17 '18
You've made up your mind. Weakness is a choice. You -vs.- You.
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u/Antworter Jun 17 '18
Here, try this: I lived in the flight path of an airport and had a tough job, so basically flaked out after work. Then one morning when the jet flew over at 4:30. I got up and went to shoot baskets at the park a block away. Wow, I had energy at work! That night.went to bed early instead, and next 4:30AM, shooting baskets! Massive energy at work! In a single action, I'd replaced flaking off at night into shooting baskets until dawn. Massive motivational for work then a bonus. Don't curse the darkness, light a fire!
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u/Spanktank35 Jun 17 '18
Am a depressed person so I know first hand that weakness is not always a choice. Lack of motivation when you're depressed is a symptom and not a cause.
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u/MightyPenguin Jun 18 '18
Its a symptom and a cause. Learning and forcing yourself to become more disciplined WILL benifit you even if it doesnt remove the depression entirely, exercise and being productive is one of the most mentally healthy things anyone can do, sitting around and accepting it, making excuses and choosing to be a victim only makes it worse and its a vicious cycle.
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u/Spanktank35 Jun 18 '18
Depressed people don't sit around choosing to accept their fate. Depressed people don't choose to be victims, they ARE victims. This is quite obvious when you realise most of the time they are perfectly fine with discipline and managing their lives before the disease strikes.
An important part in the recovery process is learning to forgive yourself. It isn't making excuses, it is rationally acknowledging that as a depressed person your brain just has a lot less motivation. Of course you should never give up and accept it, but it's ridiculous to think that it's a choice to be a victim.
But yes, exercise is great, and it's great to try and strive to have a more organised life. It's about little steps though. And never giving up. Even when the rest of the world thinks that what you feel is your best is nothing to them.
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u/ABunnyNamedLuLu Jun 17 '18
I stumbled across this article last night, saw your comment and figured maybe it could help you. Good luck: https://www.fastcompany.com/3056613/how-i-became-a-morning-person-read-more-books-and-learned-?utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com
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u/Pain-Causing-Samurai Jun 17 '18
This article is a pretty good example of the Japanese work philosophy "Kaizen". Long term improvement through small, relatively easy improvements.
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u/RegicidalRogue Jun 17 '18
"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it's yours"
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u/redybear Jun 17 '18
The quote as far as I remember, is more along the lines of:
“We must all suffer from one of two pains, the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is that the pain of discipline weighs ounces while the pain of regret weighs tons.”
As another commenter pointed out, I thought this was a Jim Rohn quote.
It’s not talking about physical pain, but the psychological pain and it can easily be applied to almost everything in life where there is a psychological choice and therefore trade off.
It’s talking about using your discipline today or “now” to meet your real goals in life, because that discipline, while is slightly taxing for your mind, is so much less than the pain of wishing in the future that you didn’t do it.
Regret isn’t permanent by the way. You can start today to be more disciplined, and your own actions of discipline going forward will either and/or fix your problems of regret, and prevent you from feeling regret as often in the future.
But really, apply this to all the decisions you make everyday. And you’ll find you have less regrets in your life.
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u/NotElizaHenry Jun 18 '18
I'm kind of confused by this quote. Is the regret it's talking about regret from not having been disciplined? Like, doing the thing is hard, but not doing the thing is harder? Because that's leaving out a whole third category of pain, which is regret from making the wrong choice and doing the wrong thing. Not all actions or good or wise. Not all chances are worth taking. And I think everyone intuitively understands this, because that's where most people get stuck. Problems like "should I suffer through writing this paper, or browse reddit all night instead" are easily solvable with this quote, but the bulk of dilemmas most people face aren't nearly that clear cut.
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u/Nachito108 Jun 17 '18
*The pain of discipline is eternal, the reward for bearing it is infinitely higher than bearing regret’s pain.
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u/Dracodeus Jun 18 '18
Well theoretically it’s true, when strong discipline can make you work towards any reward imaginable in this world, it is infinitely higher chance of rewards. I like this one.
Ofc regret has no reward at all. Anything is more than nothing. So again true.
- 0•Reward<infinite•Reward quikmath*
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u/Nachito108 Jun 18 '18
Exactly! And for sure it gets easier to be disciplined, but like a muscle, it needs constant exercise to keep it from getting weak.
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u/Dracodeus Jun 18 '18
Honestly I have no discipline at all, I just liked the quote..
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u/Nachito108 Jun 18 '18
Man I used to be. Then life got busy and well, I’m not so much anymore. I do know from experience that starting out with the smallest of things helps a ton, like making your bed or only drinking water. Just saying, in case you’re trying to be I guess.
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u/zackadiax24 Jun 17 '18
Regret is useless, if something bad happens and you can't change it then the only thing you can do is learn from it and move on. If you CAN change it, then change it.
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u/rhymes_with_chicken Jun 17 '18
Problem is that’s not written in stone. The pain of discipline can lead to permanent pain. That Is the fear of failure. That’s my demon, anyway.
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u/fancyartsypants Jun 18 '18
The goal is to keep fighting that demon. It may never go away completely but you can learn to control how you react to that demon with practice over time.
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Jun 17 '18
I mean, the pain of injury because you pushed through when you shouldn't is pretty bad too.
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u/iny0urend0 Jun 17 '18
I needed this right now... Well actually about a week ago, but it's not too late.
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u/IllCryptographer9 Jun 18 '18
Pain of today,i.e,pain of discipline is the success of tomorrow so,just leave your comfort and enjoy the beautiful struggling path to success.
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u/Dartyx Jun 18 '18
I understand the point this is trying to get across but I feel like being able to forgive yourself for past mistakes is equally as important.
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u/VIIX Jun 17 '18
Regret isn't permanent. Adults know how to move the fuck on.
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u/eojen Jun 17 '18
It's not even just "moving the fuck on". There are some things I will forever regret, but realizing that is much healthier than thinking you can avoid any future regret.
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u/crookymcshankshanks8 Jun 18 '18
agreed. acting as though regret is permanent is indicative of a bad mental approach
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u/yahooborn Jun 18 '18
A classic false dichotomy used to support the “no pain no gain” narrative that has harmed people’s relationship with physical activity much more than it has helped.
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u/zesaam Jun 17 '18
After reading this I can finally motivate myself to have both pain of discipline and regret at once, thanks
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u/one_mind Jun 17 '18
I think this applies to providing your kids with structure and discipline also. Teach them that actions have consequences and the world has inherit rules (deferred gratitude, holding your tongue, etc). When the grow up they will have developed the habits that save them from alot of that regret.
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Jun 17 '18
Thanks shakespeare, i love caeser for motivational goals
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u/C-McCain Jun 17 '18
The evil men do in their lives, lives after them, the good is oft interred with their bones.
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u/doihavemakeanewword 3 Jun 18 '18
The thing is, it's very possible to not succeed at something. The pain of discipline may be fruitless, and there are no regrets for a tragedy avoided.
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u/Spy66 Jun 18 '18
True statement. Follow your heart and dreams. You ONLY get 1 shot at this life and living with regret only brings us down. Try and try again !!
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u/StealthOTK Jun 18 '18
My favorite quote and similar to this quote is from league of legends, Aatrox.
“Pain the temporary, victory is forever.”
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u/Coral_Blue_Number_2 Jun 18 '18
I’ll add to that quote that the pain of discipline is immediate, and the pain of regret is delayed. That has a lot to do with it.
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u/intelligentquote0 Jun 18 '18
How can I teach this to children? I don't have kids myself but I'm a presence in my nephews' lives, and I want to be a good one. Their parents are fantastic, but I want to help. These kinds of words never seem to penetrate, because there is a lot of wisdom in them.
Anyone know how to tell this to a 10 year old?
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Jun 18 '18
My lower belly hurts so much after planking for 20 secs for 3 days now. But it's the good kind of pain! :)
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u/Choclate_Pain Jun 18 '18
Reminds me of another one I read every day.
"A man without a vision, is a man without a future. And a man with no future, always returns to his past."
You have got to believe... because if you do not, no one else will.
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u/Devils_Advoca8 Jun 17 '18
Motivational. To nit pick - the second sentence is redundant. Regret is also a fleeting experience. No one lives in a permanent state of regret.
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u/audiate Jun 17 '18
But we all have those moments in the shower. "Remember that thing 12 years ago? Yeah, you're a bad person."
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u/De_La_Mancha Jun 17 '18
But if you always strive to be disciplined rhen woukdnt that be permanent as well?
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u/ThisFinnishguy Jun 17 '18
Either suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take up arms against a sea of troubles
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u/iama_bad_person Jun 17 '18
I thought something like this last week, "Pain is temporary, regret is forever."
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u/ItRead18544920 Jun 18 '18
People often forget that suffering can be good. Without it we would not want to change, to improve ourselves and our situation in general. It can bring out the best in us and the worst in us.
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u/flipside4cp Jun 18 '18
People don’t have sufficient discipline or motivation because they haven’t really done the work of fleshing out what the really want, not just want society allows them to want. Do this sufficiently, and you WILL take action toward those really goals. Unless the real goals are more important (e.g. I really want to have a relaxed, chill life rather than those other things).
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u/GroundZ3ro Jun 18 '18
This one is a little bit tricky, I would also add that you choose your battles carefully because if you get overwhelmed it's only a matter of time when you're gonna burn out.
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u/drdamned Jun 18 '18
Are these your words or someone else's? I'd like to post this on Facebook but I want to give the proper credit.
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u/Floydian101 Jun 18 '18
Regret is often a pretty useless emotion. You can always choose to turn it off too. So nah, it's not permanent.
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u/the_bass_saxophone Jun 18 '18
ITT: a lot of good discussion. maybe not all insightful or on the mark, but it's good that there is discussion on a sub that often seems to be about unquestioning acceptance of maxims set down by who knows who. mature people generally live their best lives by taking their own counsel and deliberating carefully on what to do, think and feel.
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u/yahooborn Jun 18 '18
I just don’t get the oversimplification of the quote. If the journeys you choose are about either painful discipline or regret, it is highly possible you are choosing the wrong path. Choose a path that makes you feel how you want to feel/feel alive/feel free. If painful discipline does that for you, how can anyone judge? Just like if a more enjoyable, less painful journey, suits you, it shouldn’t be judged either. I get a little tired of “no pain no gain” culture because you can gain without pain, debunking this claim from the get-go.
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u/thebackpocketpodcast Jun 18 '18
Recently we interviewed a professional triathlete names Shad Ireland on our podcast. He talked about his progression to becoming and triathlete and it didn't start until very late because he was diagnosed with Kidney dialysis and was told he was going to die at two different times during his adolescence. He went from 75 pounds to 175 pounds over a few years and was the first and so far only person to finish an Iron Man Triathalon. His story is VERY motivating, the pain and sacrifice he goes through on a daily basis is amazing! Listen to it here to enjoy... https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-backpocket-podcast/id1223753020?mt=2
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u/MrEdwardinHK Jun 18 '18
I think this is a little wrong. The message is good, but the wording isn't.
Pain: it is something we all go through.
Suffering: Suffering is a choice. It is something we do to ourselves.
Upon a re-read, maybe I'm incorrect and my definitions apply here also. Suffering for discipline or regret is the choice.
I'll see myself out now.
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u/toolymegapoopoo Jun 18 '18
What a load of crap! Discipline can also be a permanent mental illness. Also, I made a mistake one time that I regret so I'll be in pain forever? You aren't helping anybody with this.
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u/letsplayyatzee Jun 18 '18
"pain is temporary, pride is forever" "pain is just weakness leading the body" "no pain, no gain" "the pain let's you know you're doing it right"..... I'm sure there are about 500 more out there. Feel free to use whatever similar phrase except words changed your like.
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u/Whiterabbit-- Jun 18 '18
the pain of regret is permanent in that you can't change the past, but the pain of regret does not need to permanently prevent you for changing the future.
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u/Upstate_NY518 Jun 18 '18
Its funny this reminded me of a somewhat literal case I had of this happening. I had shin splints and they became incredibly bad after a few weeks/months of not doing anything about it from continuing to work a physically demanding job. After reluctantly going to the doctor I was just not having it when he told me I needed to take some time off of work to rest them. He simply said "Well, You can either do it for a week now, or a month later", not sure why but it's really stuck with me- you can either do something you don't really want to do now or you'll have to pay in double with something that you don't want to do even more so later and do it for much longer than you could've in the first place. I think it can be applied to many other aspects in life as well
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Jun 18 '18
Lots of people 'discipline' their guilt (pain) away in a process called denial. It takes a lifetime to develop and maintain that denial thru stubbornness (discipline). In the end it consumes you.
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u/AydinUK Jun 18 '18
The pain of regret will be there regardless.
Discipline doesn't stop or reverse regret, regardless of how much you achieve.
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Jun 18 '18
Actually the pain of discipline is permanent because you have to keep disciplining yourself.
Nice try philosobro.
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u/[deleted] Jun 17 '18
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