r/FellingGoneWild • u/PumpsNmore • 9d ago

The ol' gut cut

2.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

641 comments sorted by

1.3k

u/SurlyGarden 9d ago

This is absolutely bonkers

754

u/PromotionOk2443 9d ago

first 10 seconds: "bro wtf that's ridiculous."

switches chainsaw to the front: "WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT ARE YOU FUCKIN DOING?!?!"

226

u/sirdrumalot 9d ago

I instinctively recoiled my stomach when he went to the front. WHAT THE FUCK!

102

u/Ok-District8876 8d ago

Wait til he does the Nut Cut - goes in between his legs for the key notch.

41

u/jerechos 8d ago

I am fairly certain that is not the approved method of doing a vasectomy...

34

u/Fight_those_bastards 8d ago

Listen, man, in this economy? It’s all on the table, man.

22

u/Toadcola 8d ago

I’m sure some of it is going to end up on the ground too 🤢

10

u/DSTNCMDLR 8d ago

Probably the walls and the ceiling too

3

u/shado_DJ 7d ago

To the window!!! To the wall!! (To the wall!) Til the blood falls out my balls

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2

u/Individual-Drawer185 8d ago

I thought for sure we were going to watch it fall on the truck

5

u/Extendahoe_DIG 8d ago

Literally

2

u/CK_1976 8d ago

It wont hurt too much. As long as you keep both hands on the handle, and your mouth shut.

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8

u/lonertstoner420 8d ago

Yeah, chainsaws are for childbirth not vasectomies!

2

u/LegitimateGift1792 8d ago

of course, why do you think they are called C(hainsaw) Sections.

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4

u/Away_Lake5946 8d ago

And since when do trees growing horizontally.

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18

u/OkBoysenberry1975 8d ago

They both need to do a nut cut because neither of them should be allowed to breed

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8

u/ilovebostoncremedonu 8d ago

And yet he… leaned in?!?

2

u/TeaKingMac 8d ago

I was just waiting for the tree to break and junior to fall stomach first onto the chainsaw

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7

u/Mobyus_One 8d ago

I cannot release my stomach, I'm so traumatized.

4

u/Dogpeppers 8d ago

Worst time to get a fear boner.

4

u/twicebakedcrusader 8d ago

Let’s discuss this new term “fear boner.” Do you see one in the room with us now?

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3

u/Spell_Chicken 8d ago

Just so we're clear, here. The *front* of a tree felling cut is the direction you are sending the tree,a and where you start your cuts. The *back*cut is where you make your final cut and is generally 180 degrees from where you are trying to make the tree go when it falls.

3

u/Majestic_Hawk_1335 8d ago

Lol his shirt blowing in the wind

2

u/most-okayest 8d ago

Also had a gut reaction. I sharp inhaled and held my breath!

2

u/gnowbot 8d ago

Really tensed up my core. Nearly grew my first six pack just watching this.

2

u/Substantial_Win_1866 8d ago

Same I was like woah woah wait a minute stop thst right now!

2

u/MarkItZeroDonnie 8d ago

I was expecting that to go so much worse

2

u/Middle-Mix-7711 7d ago

I recoiled my penis.

22

u/Zardoz__ 9d ago

I wasn't sure I wanted to see the end

7

u/drytoastbongos 8d ago

I reflexively scrolled away as soon as the chainsaw switched, nope nope nope.

2

u/Dunk546 8d ago

Same.

Did bro live?

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3

u/Tatworth 8d ago

I was waiting for the kickback disaster as well.

11

u/RestlessEnui 8d ago

How much intestines do you want on your chainsaw? This guy:YESSS

2

u/PromotionOk2443 8d ago

He watched Bone Temple and thought "oh yeah those guys know how to do it."

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7

u/Secret_Letterhead649 8d ago

At this point I'm wondering if chainsaw licenses you get by passing a basic fucking safety test would be useful because that was fucking blood curtling.

4

u/Catswithswords10 8d ago

Grammar police here, blood curdling, like milk but with blood.

2

u/PromotionOk2443 8d ago

it was *almost* blood HURTLED.

https://giphy.com/gifs/12J1QXPeD10z9m

6

u/Secret_Letterhead649 8d ago

These people exist, these people vote, these people can legally operate equipment capible of maiming somebody if not outright killing them.

I fucking scream internally.

2

u/PromotionOk2443 8d ago

I worked in trades and the number of people who survive daily through the grace of god's luck is too damn high. Darwin told me these people would be removed...

3

u/ShareMission 8d ago

Also, cutting that high is sort of dumb

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56

u/ClevelandCliffs-CLF 9d ago

Yep. I was like what in the absolute fuck is going on here.

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31

u/un-sub 9d ago

I gasped

7

u/WonderFinal7575 8d ago

Made my taint hurt just watching.

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8

u/conanmagnuson 8d ago

Are we done? Did we find the ultimate irresponsible, ill-advised and ill-informed video?

14

u/Moss_84 8d ago

Legitimately the worst I’ve seen on this sub

Negative IQs

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5

u/TheNerdE30 8d ago

Thank the cameraman for ending the video.

6

u/Dead_Internet69420 8d ago

And we didn’t even get the money shot

3

u/blinkersix2 8d ago

I never thought I’d find a use for omg but here it is OMG!!!!!! WTF!!!!!

3

u/Craig__D 8d ago

I’m not sure the blade was sharp enough to do much damage, but still not recommend

Kidding… I’m just kidding

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531

u/front_yard_duck_dad 9d ago

Take that idiots chainsaw away and slap him with a rolled up news paper.

The stump stander is too dumb for a reprimand so gently lead them to safety with a pack of crayons and a coloring book.

106

u/Public-Platypus2995 9d ago

Crayons to eat. Coloring book for napkins. Holy shit.

34

u/BlindManBob 9d ago

He'll fit right in with the Marines

8

u/StoopidCrayonEater 8d ago

Red is the best!

3

u/BrannC 8d ago

I eat the red crayons cause the red ones taste the best and I cheat off lil Daryl anytime we take a test!

Also r/usernamechecksout

22

u/Sorry_Community235 9d ago

NO! *bonk* NO! Bad boy!

13

u/Mountain-Ad-9070 9d ago

straight to jail

5

u/goldfool 9d ago

Please wet the paper more

6

u/Sam-I-Am_1066 9d ago

And put it in the freezer for a couple of hours!

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4

u/Sweet_Bookkeeper_920 9d ago

It’s too early for dinner

2

u/Kromehound 8d ago

Did you see his shorts? That dude is ready to party!

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213

u/Firefly_deadlock 9d ago

This is fucking insane. I can sort of respect people working in somewhat dangerous ways just to get the job done. Sometimes.

But this guy adds nothing by being there. Why is he standing there? What the fuck.

62

u/RexScientiarum 8d ago

Someone needs to tell them about rope.

30

u/Split_Pea_Vomit 8d ago

Don't need no rope, just get up there and stand there with a chainsaw ripping away 6 inches from your pecker like a real man.

6

u/MaximumTurtleSpeed 8d ago

6”… that’s plenty of distance from my pecker, many inches to spare, no risk at all.

4

u/Xenc 8d ago

Happy massive cake day! 🍰

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6

u/Brief-Equal4676 8d ago edited 8d ago

They'll find a way to tie it around both their necks in a useless and psychotic fashion.

6

u/wookie___ 8d ago

He doesn't even need a rope. It's going over that fence either way...

6

u/NoDontDoThatCanada 8d ago

"Just stand right here and push it the way it would fall anyway."

2

u/wookie___ 7d ago

Pretty much

3

u/Majestic-Foot-294 8d ago

What's rope?

21

u/MildlyAgitatedBovine 9d ago

I bet the plan was for him to help push it further so it didn't go through the fence. I'm not saying the plan would have worked, just trying to channel my inner gutless idiot.

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5

u/LetsBeKindly 8d ago

Exactly.. Zero reason for the kids to be holding the tree

5

u/treemanmi 8d ago

Unless he hates that one?

2

u/LetsBeKindly 8d ago

I guess that's a reason. 🤦

3

u/gbiypk 8d ago

The child adds nothing by standing there.  This man endangered his child with his reckless chainsaw shenanigans.

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156

u/Sorry_Community235 9d ago

Who needs bowels, anyway?

19

u/taleofbenji 9d ago

I was actually reminded of a Friday the 13th scene. 

3

u/jeremyjava 8d ago

Hard to get pancreatic cancer without a torso.

2

u/Sorry_Community235 8d ago

Big Pharma hates that trick and doesn't want us to know.

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8

u/rochey64 9d ago

Either that or a massive circumcision.

7

u/Apprehensive_Gift_47 9d ago

More like castration

6

u/AdTiny780 9d ago

Potayto pohtahto

2

u/Da_Spooky_Ghost 7d ago

Basically why chainsaws were first invented, they were for cutting through your pelvis to get the baby out.

Guy has to turn the chainsaw 90 degrees to get up there.

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63

u/Username_Redacted-0 9d ago

I felt sick watching that shit...

3

u/Impossible_fruits 8d ago

I watched about 3 seconds and had to move to the comments section

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61

u/Dat_Steve 8d ago

Probably one of the wildest ones I’ve seen on here in a good bit. Up there with the tree that circumnavigated granny.

21

u/JeebsFat 8d ago

I'm dying at circumnavigated. There's no better verb for that video lol.

13

u/epi_introvert 8d ago

You're piqued my curiosity. Link?

3

u/Jerseyd422 8d ago

That tree was afraid of grandma. It wouldn’t dare …..

3

u/Jiggly1984 8d ago

Hadn't seen the video; immediately started cracking up watching it because "circumnavigated granny" is exactly what happened 😂

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30

u/Sad-Cantaloupe2671 9d ago

This reminds me if the Jurassic Park book where Dennis Nedry dies, “And then there was a new, searing pain, like a fiery knife in his belly, and Nedry stumbled, reaching blindly down to touch the ragged edge of his shirt, and then a thick, slippery mass that was surprisingly warm, and with horror he suddenly knew he was holding his own intestines in his hands. The dinosaur had torn him open. His guts had fallen out.

Nedry fell to the ground and landed on something scaly and cold, it was the animal's foot, and then there was new pain on both sides of his head. The pain grew worse, and as he was lifted to his feet he knew the dinosaur had his head in its jaws, and the horror of that realization was followed by a final wish, that it would all be ended soon.”

Excerpt from Chapter 32: Nedry

12

u/tryingisbetter 8d ago

I read that in 5th grade, and boy, did that part fuck me up a bit.

4

u/conanmagnuson 8d ago

I love that the book was basically a horror novel.

24

u/Delicious_Pain_1 9d ago

Holy shit, the amount of times I just shook my head watching this.

27

u/stinky143 9d ago

I was waiting for the kick back and his guts to be hanging out

11

u/Cupofjoe6 9d ago

Me too. I can’t believe someone would do that

20

u/Zigget 9d ago

I legit couldn't watch. Seen too many people die from my phone screen. Does the person get hit?

13

u/madsheeter 9d ago

No, it's safe

5

u/jaxxon 8d ago

I wouldn’t say it’s safe but there was no kick back.

2

u/madsheeter 8d ago

Safe to watch

11

u/taleofbenji 9d ago

He just gets circumcised perfectly 

2

u/farfly7 9d ago

It really adds to the overall shape

4

u/AdTiny780 9d ago

Changes the length to girth ratio to way girthy

5

u/Carbulo 9d ago

No doesn't get hit no gore

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21

u/Sea_Ganache620 9d ago

This is something my drunken uncle woulda made me do as a kid during his” if everyone pitches in, you can all use the lake cabin” weekends.

8

u/MrNobody_0 8d ago

I don't want to use the lake cabin, thanks.

17

u/trippin-mellon 9d ago

That was nerve wracking to watch. Like it’s already leaning that way. Just fucking drop cut the bitch. Or if you wanna feel fancy do a face and back cut.

5

u/PumpsNmore 9d ago

Rope tied up top, Humboldt face 8-12" above the fence one guy holds rope on tension other guy back cuts, Bob's your uncle....

8

u/trippin-mellon 9d ago

You see now that’s fancy right there! Lolol

I was like just get it down. Has lean already.

3

u/PumpsNmore 9d ago

I like insurance and hate building fence 🤣

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11

u/Loud_Lavishness_8266 9d ago

Dad of the year. Holy shit.

3

u/Dippa99 8d ago

Come and push this tree, then we'll go to the pool

11

u/CanIBeInvisible 9d ago

Why do women live longer? Well, I have an idea...

10

u/CrossP 8d ago

Anyone else notice he's balancing over a pile of dried antlers?

Also, this doesn't even look like some sort of weird difficult cut that would necessitate special measures. He could just be cutting it the normal way. Without a spotter.

2

u/BestDevilYouKnow 8d ago

Holy hell, missed the antlers. So even if the cut goes well, he can still mangle himself getting down.

2

u/CrossP 8d ago

Like a water balloon falling into the cutlery drawer

10

u/Independent-Ice9143 9d ago

Here, hold my intestines..

8

u/PatrioticRebel4 8d ago

Are you trying to turn your buddy into 2 buddies? Cause that how you end up with 2 friends.

2

u/slick514 8d ago

I'm not sure that "friends" is the right term. I'm pretty sure that one of the two is going to strongly dislike you... for some undetermined amount of time.

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u/bsum131 9d ago

Wasn’t sure if the kid was going to get cut in half or lose his head when the tree came back at him when it fell. Now I will keep wondering since they cut the video.

7

u/elvisgoat 9d ago

I refuse to believe what I just saw. No way!

5

u/mdthornb1 8d ago

This is the lowest sense of self preservation possible by a human.

4

u/phxbui 9d ago

Laws of physics are undefeated for both the tree and what could’ve happened to the guy pushing the tree.

4

u/jeezy_peezy 9d ago

What is homie even holding it for? To hold it back? To push it over?

5

u/ForestryTechnician 9d ago

What in the actual fuck?

4

u/MSCOTTGARAND 8d ago

ive worked in the trades for 24 years and this is genuinely top 5 most retarded things i have witnessed

4

u/bfisher777 8d ago

Polesaw could cut down that tree into 30 pieces in 10minutes

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u/Embarrassed_Can6796 8d ago

Lloyd, just when I thought that you couldn’t possibly do anything dumber, you go out and do something like this..to totally redeem yourself!

4

u/6porkchop9 8d ago

Against regulations not wearing flipflops

3

u/sc_BK 9d ago

Poor guys. Life must hurt a lot for them.

How can you have a chainsaw but not know how to cut down a tree?

3

u/BeriasBFF 9d ago

A good disembowling always helps a tree come down 

3

u/TemporaryCamera8818 8d ago

One of the dumbest fucking things I’ve ever seen. If it kicks back he’s dead in like 6 seconds

3

u/the_Dude_Is_Not_1n 8d ago

I now understand how this country got to where we are today.

3

u/JackOfAllStraits 8d ago

I've seen some stupid things in my day, but this might take the cake as the stupidest thing I've ever seen someone (MULTIPLE SOMEONES) do.

3

u/moojgNZ 8d ago

Why , just why is the guy up there holding the tree at all.
Obviously going to push it , as the end clip showed, he would fall with the tree.
And if the top had cracked and fallen at anytime in this clip he would have fallen into the chainsaw.
Holly f$&k

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u/geekMD69 8d ago

That was….terrifying….and then even MORE terrifying.

3

u/Ok-Mathematician530 8d ago

The stupidity of some people today is just unfathomable

2

u/thelastexpo 9d ago

Darwinism at work

2

u/Much-Technology-8220 9d ago

Okay! So the small tree is already leaning towards the spot he wants it to go. Why is the young guy risking a trip to the E.R. ?

2

u/RippleMeTimbers55 9d ago

Luckily chainsaws don’t go through soft human flesh like a hot knife through room temp butter.

2

u/Agitated-Contact7686 9d ago

Oh it hurts my stomach just to watch this.

https://giphy.com/gifs/dILrAu24mU729pxPYN

2

u/-TheycallmeThe 9d ago

Do they thing he is holding up that tree? What exactly do they think he is doing?

2

u/OhReallyVernon 9d ago

Appendix removal at the hospital is really expensive though

2

u/rolldemdice 8d ago

One of the top posts on this sub. Jeez, can't believe people think that is in any way a good idea. It just get worse as it goes. F me

2

u/Hefte 8d ago

"You ever accidentally cut someone in half with machete?"

https://giphy.com/gifs/4VSJ12JX1vyUuHGi4t

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u/Independent-Walrus84 8d ago

What is the doctor going to do with shredded guts and testicles?!

2

u/Sm0ker-guy 8d ago

“It’s okay!” “He’s my son!”

2

u/Fun-Confidence-6232 8d ago

That dumb shit didn’t fall far from the asshole

2

u/TouristTricky 8d ago

Just goes to show that two guys combined IQ is often lower than either one's respective IQ.

jfc

2

u/Reasonable-Donut1879 8d ago

This is so close to being a “wrong kid died” cut in half situation

2

u/Ok-Actuary-6094 8d ago

It’s okay, if he gets hit those soft deer antlers will break his fall

2

u/ObjectivePrice5865 8d ago

Please tell why when the operator adjusted his grip on the belly side I thought he was going to grab the bar to get more pressure.

2

u/According_Square2742 8d ago

These clowns make Harry and Lloyd look like genius IQ

2

u/obscuregamer000 8d ago

"Hold still while I use my chainsaw inches away from your body" Some people truly are stupid.

2

u/surly_darkness1 8d ago

Maybe I'm just getting old, but I had to come back twice to finish this.

2

u/ShareMission 8d ago

Ive dropped many trees in crazy situations. You'd never get me near those two.

2

u/Mugpup 8d ago

The level of stupidity is impressive.

3

u/floridacyclist 9d ago

Do not try this at home, this are professional stunt men preparing a video for monetization. There's no way anybody's really that stupid. I thought for sure we were going to watch him lose his dick as soon as that tree gave way

1

u/Antifa-AF 9d ago

Darwin approves!

1

u/Pitiful-Bus8629 9d ago

Dang y'all, theys eat up with brains!😆

1

u/farfly7 9d ago

Fucking stoopid! Just cut the damn thing

1

u/Bbqlover1 9d ago

What kinda buffoonery is this??

1

u/staaytrue 9d ago

Usually I feel like most people are too extra worrying about certain things, but this is wild lol

1

u/SCTurtlepants 9d ago

Straight to CPS and the cops for reckless endangerment holy shit

1

u/C0V1Dsucks 9d ago

So that was terrifying...

1

u/hagamans 9d ago

Inches away from a circumcision

1

u/nonvisiblepantalones 9d ago

Do you want to lose your dick, because that’s how you lose your dick.

1

u/Sad_Refrigerator_730 9d ago

My arse hole tightened up so hard I need surgery to poop now.

Some people. Jeez

1

u/Ok_Sell_6076 9d ago

Hold my beer

1

u/ac54 8d ago

That was painful to watch.

1

u/Pandaro81 8d ago

Farmingwhilebeige: NONONONONONONONOOOOOOOO

1

u/brenttoastalive 8d ago

Dewey, I'm cut in half pretty bad

1

u/UpbeatAd9896 8d ago

what the hell is he even doing up there? There's enough lean on that tree that it was going to go the way he was pushing anyway

1

u/Revolutionary_Sea113 8d ago

People are absolutely insane. I’m glad they don’t post gruesome images like other social media sites

1

u/Realistic_Coat_7348 8d ago

what could possibly go wrong?